How much rent do you charge your adult children?

[Redandpinkstripes]

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

We have three adults in our house and we split the bills including groceries (excluding mortgage) equally. It comes to about £500 a month. When our daughters are working full time, we’d expect that this would start being divided by four instead, so would probably be more like £400 per month.

I wouldn’t really class this as rent as it is just their contribution towards the bills, it isn’t actually going towards the house itself.

Personally I would ask my daughters to pay the same as my mum once they have finished studying and have a full time job, if they want to live at home. This should still enable them to live well and save up. DD1 already does her own laundry aged 18 but I do help out- and I did it all when she was revising for A-Levels. I think when they come back from university or otherwise finish studying and start working it's more like a flatmate arrangement. That doesn't mean I would stop being a parent but it's more like all adults together, mutual respect required, their room is private, I'm not going to say "You have to be in by X" but also give me the courtesy of letting me know if their plans change- as I would do myself if I was coming home later than expected.

DS (23) was living with us for the first year after graduating. Earning £50k and paid £200 which we worked out was the marginal cost of him living here. Did his own laundry, shared cooking meals with us and paid his own share of any meals out/ takeaways etc.
We always knew if was a short term thing as he was looking to move out. I guess if it had become longer term we might have asked for more as he ate quite a lot of food!!

My husband and I lived with my mum for a year and a half after finishing uni (moved out 3 years ago). We both earned more than she did so we paid her mortgage amount (£300 between us) bought all our own food plus cooked for the family every other day and did all our own washing/cleaning. We also paid half monthly bills. To be honest the whole point of us living with her was so we could save aggressively for our own house, if we’d have been paying much more I’d have rather rented somewhere and saved a lot slower and not had to live with my mum and sister which although we all got on- what 20 something year old doesn’t want their own space?

I paid 25% of my wage when I lived at home. Reckon we'd all love to live for £200 per month. It's ludicrous that a 26 year old has such a small cost of living, especially if you are finding it harder financially. You could maybe increase her rent by £10 per month over the year. £320 per month is still a bargain.
My eldest has just turned 16 and is hoping to start an apprenticeship in September. He'll be on the normal apprentice wage, but he will be saving £500 per month. Once he turns 18 I will be expecting rent. He knows this. If we are in an okay position financially then I will save the rent (or part of) he has paid and return it when he's ready to buy a house.

Seems reasonable to me, but why are you doing her washing and ironing ... I haven't done my kids since they turned 16.

My son is going to uni in September, but living at home and he will be paying £400 pm (everything included except doing his own washing). I don’t earn a lot (I’m 65 & work part time) but will have rent to pay for the rest of my life. I don’t earn enough to meet the threshold to contribute for Uni and if he wasn’t here I would downsize and reduce my rent accordingly, but I can’t. His twin is going away to Uni and will be in Uni accommodation which is costing £165 pw so he will will have to pay for food, toiletries etc. etc. on top, so the one at home agreed that £400 was a reasonable amount for everything included!

Adult DD ( with GS) pays half the household bills and buys their food
I don't have a mortgage or she'd be contributing to that

Yes she should definitely pay £100 more. But, in response to everyone saying she should do her own washing, I do my adult son’s washing because I don’t run a wash with a few items. A wash is a wash, with more than one person’s clothes in it. But his ironing? God no!

Some people have water on a meter like electricity. This DD has 2 showers a day.

They are not really a "child" by the age of 26 though as in OPs situation. They are an adult (as is my son, who I charge rent to). Why should they live at home and pay nothing when the other adults living there do have to pay? What if they live at home into their 30s? At some point I think it's fair to start charging them rent, and that point (for me) is when they are in their 20s and are earning a decent salary and could move out and pay rent elsewhere if they preferred that option.

She’s taking the piss and you’re allowing it. She’d be paying on average £500 for all-inclusive rent and bills in the private market in England. You can always get a lodger if she moves out. £400 a month is reasonable and tell her to do her own laundry. She’s living the life of Riley!

Really laughing at this thread. You’ll all fall over but I’m 30 a mother of 1 lived alone for 3 years and my mum still does my washing…

I think it depends what situation you’re in, 28k take home isn’t a lot but if you’re struggling then absolutely. But if your expecting her to move out right now at 26 I think you’re in dream land.

My DS 27 was paying £200 but I told him this morning it's now £300. I do his washing and sometimes cook for him.

DS also earns more than me. He was paying £250 pm which up until last year meant that we at least broke even on having him live with us while he saves.
With the energy increases he decided to up his contribution to £350 with the proviso that if he wants a 20 minute shower, he can do so. He also does top up shopping which he pays for and is generous with takeaways for the whole family.
He does his own washing and subs his younger student brother eg pays for cinema for them both. He does do the weekly shop sometimes.
I think you shouldn’t be out of pocket by allowing another adult to live with you. Even if they paid £500 pm it is still a lot cheaper than rent and bills would be, so they would still be able to save.

She's get a roof, a meal provided every night AND her washing done all for £200 WOW can I move in please Op!!

When I was 26 I had 3 children including a disabled one, worked part time and Cooked for 5 of us every night.

Your daughter is a spoilt women and you'll be doing her no favours.
I would double her rent.

Why do you feel guilty that you can't provide for her? She's an adult, who not only has a job but earns more than you!!

It depends where you live, but if you are also doing all her washing and cooking all her meals then i would charge market rates. Tbh i don't think you should be doing all this stuff for her unless its value is reflected in her rent!

Agreed @strongcupofTea

When I was 26 i was living hundreds of miles from home in a shared house with people i didn't know until I moved in, in a new city. Working my arse off trying to get on the ladder career wise and earning sweet fa.

It's what grown ups do.

You're confusing me with the OP. She didn't mention how much her daughter earns.

I mentioned 28k in relation to my son who pays me £400 a month rent. Seeing as that includes everything and his take home pay is about £1800 he has plenty left over.

This is ridiculous, 1 person less food/toiletries/washing etc adds up.

Why should a 26 year old live with no responsibility, and the parents suffer forever?

Even if I could afford it (I can't) I would charge an adult.

£400 is reasonable. She can get her own food.

It depend on what she's doing with her money and what her plans are. If she's saving hard for a deposit and it is a short term thing then I wouldnt want to charge anything (I do get that some people have to). But if it's long term and there are no plans to move out I think it would be good for her to get used to paying a "real" amount of rent.

I own my house and my outgoings alone are just short of £1000. That’s not including food shopping, petrol, socialising etc! I think £300 is an absolute steal!!

@SamBeckettslastleap “parent suffer forever” I hope your dc don’t know that you view parenting in such a way!

I never said a 26 year old adult child shouldn’t have any responsibilities. You’re putting words into my mouth.

I’m in a fortunate position that I don’t think it will be necessary to rely on dc’s financial support when the time comes. The next generation has a huge uphill battle as it is. My choice as a parent is to soften that burden where ever possible by ensuring dc at whatever age have a roof over their heads, whilst they spend their 20’s establishing their careers. I recognise my privilege in being able to take such a stance.

My daughter is 21, earns £30k and pays £400 per month at home - I can't say she's happy about it though. She does have an en-suite bedroom, office, all meals, bills and washing done.