How much rent do you charge your adult children?

[Redandpinkstripes]

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

You were not still in full time education then, like this 16 year old is. He is only working 12.5 hours a week most likely a Saturday job. Surely time to pay your own way is when you leave full time education.

Sorry posted on the wrong thread.

Eldest has a job but is on a zero hours contract so his wages vary. He pays 25% of his earnings to an agreed cap. Covers room and board and a contribution to wifi, fuel bills, water bills and rates etc. He mostly does his own washing and both he and his brother are expected to assist with household chores (though that is a sore point right now). Will expect his brother to do the same when he gets a job. Trying to save the rent but have had to dip into it a couple of times for particularly ferocious winter utility bills.

Your DD should definitely be paying more. If she doesn’t like the idea of you raising her rent ask her where else could she live for £200 a month and get her meals cooked, laundry done etc. she’s going to have a massive shock one day when she finds out what it costs to live in the real world!

£250. Meals included.
absolutely not doing any laundry or cleaning for them but would expect them to contribute to general household cleaning.

My DD is due to move home after her contract wasn't renewed as a TA in London, due to the teaching budget cuts. I've told her she needs to pay the extra 25% council tax, and money towards Gas/Electric and food. Until she finds a job she will be doing all the food shopping, cooking and cleaning. I'm not expecting her to contribute towards the rent, but I will be expecting her to save towards a deposit for her own place and/or driving lessons, and to pay her Student overdraft off. I think this is fair, my friends think I'm not asking for enough. I'd rather she save money as I said earlier

I only take £100 a month from my daughter, but if I needed more I would ask her for more, especially as she is almost 30, eats with us every weeknight and shows no interest in moving out. She does her own laundry though.

So yes OP, charge what you need. And don't bother working out what she costs you, she is an adult and should contribute a fair share to the household bills.

It’s a shame you have to even ask, if she’s in a better financial position than you I would expect more from her. I paid my parents mortgage when I earned more than them at 25.

Personally I wouldn't charge rent to my adult DC's because I would rather they put that money aside for themselves and for their savings, unless I was really struggling and even then I would not want to, somehow feels a bit wrong to me personally.
My youngest DD is at uni and does her own laundry and often gets her own food when she is at home, and I know she struggles in term time sometimes so I will often give her a bit of money for food etc should she need it.

My daughter and son in law (both 29) are moving in with me in the next few weeks whilst their flat is being renovated. Money has not been discussed because they know we wouldn't take it! I really couldn't imagine asking one of my adult children for money honestly.

In fairness that's not quite the same as you know there will be an end date at which point they will return to their new home...

My DC pay rent as did my sisters and myself. We are all fairly good with money. My BIL was given a free ride and at 51 is still unable to budget.

It's a life skill. So whether you charge them rent because you need the money or you charge them and save it, its a lesson they need to learn.

So you adult daughter who earns more than you is not paying her way. There is no way. You are still financially subsubsidising her at 26 even though she has a bigger pay check than you....and not even by a little bit. It cost way more than £50 a week to keep her. You need to read that back to yourself and imagine someone else is tell you about this situation to see how ridiculous it is. Your daughter should be paying her share of the household expenses including the rent or mortgage. If you choose to or can afford to put some of that money aside to help save for her for a deposit that's great but your (not even recently) GROWN UP DAUGHTER WHO EARNS MORE THAN YOU, should not be costing you money.

Couple of thing

1. It's temporary
2. You can afford it
3. You children have shown they can live financially independently

That's cheap. I paid 400 a month.

Blimey I wish I had lived with you. I paid £200 a month 20 years ago!!

She is taking the mick quite frankly. Get her into the real world and charge £500 a month, you can always put the extra in a savings account. She wouldn’t get a real room share for that with all bills in! No wonder these adults don’t want to leave home.

There's another thread running - someone complaining about paying £30 per week! Entitled much!
Have a chat with your daughter and see if you can negotiate a raise and or for her to do more for herself/you.

Ask her for the money if you need it. £300 is still cheaper than £500/£750 a month that she would pay with rent or a mortgage and then on top of that bills and food bills, tax and insurances etc etc

My brother AND his wife AND three children live rent free at my parents house and they are in their 40s!!! It is a joke! They only pay one bill which is the TV and broadband bill and some of the food shopping! How messed up is that!!

The same with my Brother in law AND his wife AND his 3 sons (yes 3 sons) AND 1 daughter all live rent free at the in laws house! The only bill they pay is the TV and broadband and some of their food shopping. But I think the in laws prob give them cash for the food shopping!

Then on top of that they all moan about living together!!!!! Hahahahaha pathetic!!

In my opinion everybody needs to get their own house when adults ESPECIALLY WHEN MARRIED WITH KIDS) and see what life is really about and learn to budget!

We moved out of our in laws 6 months.. best thing we ever did!!

Hi everyone I’m not a mum I’m actually on here asking a reasonable question. I currently pay £180 per month out of my benefits I am signed off work due to mental health and I run my own car. I do all my own washing and hardly use the dryer I normally use the airer unless it’s urgent! I’m barely at my mums house as I spend all my time with my neighbour which means everything in my bedroom is off and not using the electric I have a shower every other day so I don’t use much water also pay for my own food and cook myself. I’m clean and tidy as a person and my mum also has two other children living here whom one oays £200 a month and another pays £150 a month (the brother that pays £150 a month is constantly in the house doesn’t work and is constantly on his Xbox/tv and has his phone plugged in constantly as him and his girlfriend actually sleep on the phone!) my other brother works so is able to pay more and these two brothers don’t buy their own food. I also barely use the WiFi as it’s that bad I have to use my data and I pay my own phone bill also. And we also live in a housing association and my step dad works for sunseeker gets paid over 600£ a week my mums nhs and gets paid 1600-2000£ a month. She is adamant that I alone cost 180£ which I just can’t believe considering all the stuff I do to try lower my own costs like buying my food as and when I need it and cooking for myself I try do meals that don’t take long so it uses less gas I also don’t use the dryer so it uses less electricity. So do we think £180 is reasonable enough for me signally and think it’s fair I’m paying more rent than one person who’s in the house constantly.

Yes. Its her house and she is making rules for adults living in her house. You either suck it up and pay that much, or move out and pay it all yourself. Even a room in a HMO with all bills covered is costing double what you pay in my northern town. £41 a week is completely reasonable.

I don’t think there’s any need to be rude tbh. It’s housing association which makes things a hell of a lot cheaper also if I could find a place decent enough I’d be in there like a shot and happily pay it myself at least I wouldn’t be paying for other people to use the electric 😂

I agree with @mumofteenss . If you don’t feel that you are getting a good deal at rent + bills for £180 / month then you should move into flat on your own. Then you won’t be paying for anyone else to use the electricity.

Because if you move into a flat share, you will still have the same issue you have now of splitting bills.

How much do you have left in each month from your benefits after paying your living costs of £180 / month ? I’m guessing it’s quite a lot as you can afford to run a car.

What are you doing to help your mental health problems that are stopping you getting a job? Are your in part time education? what volunteering do you do?

You don’t mention anything about cleaning - who cleans the shared areas of the house, like the kitchen, bathroom , hall and living room?

What about your share of the council tax ? Is that included in the £180/ month as well as the other bllls ?

Yes, £180 is perfectly reasonable. If you think it’s too much, find somewhere else to live that’s cheaper.

£180 a month is very low imo. It’s just over £40 a week. Your parent is subbing you massively so I’d be very very grateful if I were you.

I do not agree with not charging adult children. It helps them learn to pay their way in the real world. Teaches them budgeting skills.