Are others really living a comfortable lifestyle or is it all smoke and mirrors?

[peanuts18]

Most people I know with children live in nice houses, have foreign holidays or new extensions, kitchens or new cars, eat out, days out to London or weekends away etc. How do they all afford it even a car on HP is several hundred a month?

I work part time (ds is only 7), oh works full time but is self employed so work can be a little up and down and no sick or holiday pay, have a fairly small mortgage (£600pm) but we really struggle. No savings, always in overdraft, no eating out, 1 cheap week to Spain in the last 15 years which set us back for months and months. I don’t smoke or drink and buy supermarket/primark clothes. No loans or car payments only a CC with about £1,000 on.

Am I missing something here as how do others do it or is it all smoke and mirrors and they are living on loans and credit cards, I really don’t get it??

Sorry had a call out !

Yeah what ever vicar 🌖

Well I am practicing full witch for many years . This site is for women who want to have their voice .so back off and leave them safe !

Its depend on income. I’m stay at home mum. Me and dh never had any credit card. We never spent money that we dont have.

i’m never been poor but we used to live in stretch when my DH income was 40K. Now we live more comfortable. Able to go out whenever we want. Have 2 cars. Holiday every half term, skiing holiday etc. We only able to afford that kind of lifestyle when DH at 90K. Unfortunately living in here its soo expensive.

I agree with this.

@SeeYouNextTLol we are muslim. And definitely are not poor. We are in top 5% in the UK. Please dont be judgemental to religious people. Many of my muslim friends are rich and works hard

I hear you!!

Probably fishing for a click bait online "article".

Probably, it's an interesting discussion still though.

I can also echo GoneBerserk

yes theres a little old lady that scrubs our local bus station, been doing it for over the decade I lived here... She undoubtibly works hard but I highly doubt being wrist deep scrubbing skiddies out of the public toilets in old age for minimum wage was the life she 'wanted' for herself.

There's a famous saying from a guy called Warren Buffet (rich successful investor).

"When the tide goes out, you find out who's swimming naked".

You may well find that as the tide of cheap debt goes out, it becomes readily apparent who was living off that cheap debt.

As well as a lot of the people who have too much debt, expect a lot of frauds and scams to be exposed in the next few months. The cost of debt going up often makes continuing the charade untenable.

Are you pretending that every kid comes along exactly as planned @Wiccan ?

I don't pretend to do anything my life is authentic. Yes our kids were planned . If I had to damned near starve to death and couldn't afford anything because of having children then I definatly would not have had them . They got the best otherwise it's just cruel and selfish in my opinion .

VERY CLEARLY not every kid is planned

But yes, lots of couples do plan their DC. This cannot possibly be news.

Hmmm I'd say we're comfortable. My husband has a good job and I'm a SAHM. We live in central london but we don't have a car so I guess it evens out since cars and petrol are so expensive. I feel grateful and happy. We haven't taken a holiday in years bc of covid, my first is 2 and second is 2 months, but once they're a little older we'll definitely be going as much as we can. You sacrifice a little for a big holiday. Save up for it, or pay it off over a couple of months...

I feel the same, we don’t go to theme parks, abroad or have flashy holidays, we camp or use a caravan. We don’t massively skimp on eating but a treat is an M&S meal deal, can’t afford takeaways. Our outgoings are quite low due to me working 70 hour weeks when I was younger and us being (much older) parents. That itself has massive disadvantages now re employment and others things. What I don’t do is spend every penny I earn and I never have even when I was very junior because I dread the idea of having nothing left. This is what has saved us, however as a result we’ve not had a lot of the treats and luxuries many others have. Our child is reasonably happy though and doesn’t seem to really miss those things. In a nutshell I think most people spend every penny they earn; which is fine except for when crisis hit. I’m old enough to have lived through several so am always prepared. You shouldn’t have to live like this though, and agree the position we are all in now is largely as a result of 12 years of Tory rule.

Maybe your husband needs to get a better job if he's not making enough being self employed... And you're obviously going to be quite a lot poorer doing part time than full time

Having children is not as easy as people assume.
Part time jobs are needed because working full time will give you the other half of money that you will need to cover breakfast clubs and childminders after schools anyway, so is most of the time pointless and you can enjoy your child a bit more when they are still young, so is a decision that must be made wisely.
I only stared full time work 1 year ago and my son is nearly 10 now. It was a trial, it worked but I must admit that I hate having to pay about £500 of my hard earned salary for 40 minutes breakfast club and 2 hours of childminder.
It is a struggle and I also don’t do international holidays every year, let alone having a great car, but we live well and there’s nothing missing.

i believe that there are bigger earners out there and people with families that can help with kids, this can also make the difference in the end of the day.
but saying that all you need is full time job is easier said than done, there are clueless people out there.
:)

I meant that a lot of people find themselves expecting sooner or later than planned 😊

Based on your posting history, you may not smoke or drink, but your husband does. I imagine that's where a lot of your money is going tbh.

Depends on your income. I worked full time from the time my youngest was 4 and in school....my husband always worked full time. We earned well....nurse and doctor.....and had a comfortable life style but always had a very strong work ethic. I worked up to 50 or more hours a week as I worked nights and could do those hours easily. Im still working at 68 because I enjoy the income. I have a brother who didnt have the same education as I did, didnt get the degree....and works in a minimum pay job. His life is very different and much harder. Encouraged my kids to get all the education they could so they had good choices when it came to work and money.

I don’t understand why you work part time. Work full time, more cash.

I went part time after my second was born 2 years ago and although i still contributed my full half share towards mortgage and bills etc. I went for a promotion recently and went back to 5 day's work as I was sick to death of scraping by from month to month in my personal account and having nothing for myself. No CC or loans ither than small car loan. Things are picking up now. Will revisit part time during the summer only once I am settled into new role. I got a chunky raise so should be easier but will only be on a temporary basis as its impossible to stay in my comfort zone otherwise.
I recommend working more.

I feel the same. It's boomer parents paying for my friends' holidays, cars, big lump towards their mortgage...we're on not high but well above salaries but are always struggling, we've had to start side hustles, I'm exhausted.