Are others really living a comfortable lifestyle or is it all smoke and mirrors?

[peanuts18]

Most people I know with children live in nice houses, have foreign holidays or new extensions, kitchens or new cars, eat out, days out to London or weekends away etc. How do they all afford it even a car on HP is several hundred a month?

I work part time (ds is only 7), oh works full time but is self employed so work can be a little up and down and no sick or holiday pay, have a fairly small mortgage (£600pm) but we really struggle. No savings, always in overdraft, no eating out, 1 cheap week to Spain in the last 15 years which set us back for months and months. I don’t smoke or drink and buy supermarket/primark clothes. No loans or car payments only a CC with about £1,000 on.

Am I missing something here as how do others do it or is it all smoke and mirrors and they are living on loans and credit cards, I really don’t get it??

OP not been back since this thread started, not sure if she will be reading these posts, Hope she does though, there are some great responses.

I think youre missing the point....if you make more conscious financial decisions then your situation will improve....yes it might only improve slightly but it will improve....gradually youll begin to question your spending more and make better decisions based on what you need rather than keeping up with the Joneses who no doubt have a massive flat screen TV, a nice car and a holiday as well as more debt that theyd like to admit....

Furthermore @Ilikepinacoladass how the hell do you know that thyre not paying for a holiday by saving £40/month on a sim only deal....if its a family of 4 thats £160/month x 12 = £1920/year....enough for a decent getaway....add that to a long list of other ways to save amd spend more wisely who knows what the total might be....dont be such a naysayer

@SarahR2022
I mean yeh if you're struggling for cash and each person including children is on a £50 a month phone contract each then that's a no brainer way to save money.. You can save bits here and there but on the whole increasing your earnings (ie. Going full time / husband getting a more reliable job) is a much more sustainable and substantial way of seeing a real difference in lifestyle (or like I say winning the lottery / coming into some inheritance etc...)

@SarahR2022
Also having the latest (ie. not broken and crap old phones), is probably part of the lifestyle the OP was talking about.. I doubt these people are eating beans, using old phones, not buying new clothes (and all the other ways to save money) etc and instead using all that money for extensions, foreign holidays and nice cars...

@Thewedding I don't agree with this

The only housewives I know are older (50+ people who had kids via ivf late 40s) and their children tend to be over-indulged, rude and get less exercise than the children of younger busier parents (who also work)

I think giving up a job can make parents almost 'martyr' their children and become suckers giving them everything the child wants (excess gaming, junk food, early access to a mobile etc) partly to give the parent a 'break' and also because the parent gets bored (no job, less other housewives to socialise with these days) and wants some time to themselves.

Just my observations anyways.

I think it's best children see the talk, walked. Ie parent studies hard, keeps pushing, has setbacks and gets through them, is respected by husband / others, has long term financial security and self respect. No child wants to feel guilty or responsible for their parents well being or finances (as is poor).