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Original poster

UC. Can someone explain something to me please?

91 replies

mrsnec · 09/08/2022 22:16

Hi all, not sure if I've put this in the right place but I need help with something.

How does it work with benefits if you and your partner are separated and you want to co-parent. If you are both entitled to UC can you not split it?

We are being led to believe that there has to be one primary carer who gets everything and the other parent is treated as a single person with no dependants and gets the minimum.

Just need to settle an argument.

OP posts:
BronnauMawrion · 09/08/2022 23:51

UC staff here - You need to be honest on your UC claim, a MASSIVE crackdown on claims and entitlement is coming.
If you have your children in your house, and you are the main carer (and I'm presuming you are given ex lives in a b&b room) they need to be named on your claim. Your Work Coach should probably refer both yours and ex's claims to the fraud department.
I completely understand about you wanting to keep the peace, but it's really not worth it. You haven't said how old the children are, but you need to have the Child Benefit in your name. This also helps cover your NI contributions. Your commitments can also be adjusted to allow for child care, distance of work search etc etc.

Original poster
mrsnec · 09/08/2022 23:52

I'm not sure about the GP. He registered them at the B&B before I had the chance. They didn't even question it. I changed it and he wasn't happy about it. I applied for thier EHIC cards ages ago and never received them. I suspect he may have changed it back but I haven't checked yet.

OP posts:
BronnauMawrion · 09/08/2022 23:54

Also there is a tightening on self employment. If you've had a Gateway appointment and found you are not gainfully self employed you will be required to work search. This should not be more than 35 hours a week though. Depending on age of children this could be 25 hrs.

Original poster
mrsnec · 09/08/2022 23:56

For info children are 6&8

OP posts:
saraclara · 09/08/2022 23:59

He's claiming the child benefit too? How dare he?

Original poster
mrsnec · 10/08/2022 00:03

I am registered self employed and I'm job hunting. I have been updating my journal with all of it but at the moment my job-hunting is outside of the hours I spend on my business and my work coach won't change the 40 to 25 unless I apply for child benefit. My husband refuses to believe this and I can't find anything anywhere to prove this to him.

OP posts:
The4teddybears · 10/08/2022 00:03

Get it put back to you ASAP. He is trying to fiddle the system. But what about when they give him a 2 bedroom place , and then the kids are put back to you , he will be subject to bedroom tax . Bet he hasn’t even thought that far ahead.

BronnauMawrion · 10/08/2022 00:08

You really must claim the CB. You're screwed otherwise.

Original poster
mrsnec · 10/08/2022 00:09

Actually he's after a 3 bed because he doesn't think the DC should be sharing and I only have a 2 bed. Bedroom tax though. Good point !

OP posts:
BronnauMawrion · 10/08/2022 00:10

If you make a Change of Circumstance declaration and add the kids to your claim it will throw up a check on the system and it will be clear DC are with you and not him. Claim the CB, and make sure children are registered at school and Dr at your address.
You don't need to prove ANYTHING to your ex.

BronnauMawrion · 10/08/2022 00:12

mrsnec · 10/08/2022 00:09

Actually he's after a 3 bed because he doesn't think the DC should be sharing and I only have a 2 bed. Bedroom tax though. Good point !

If DC are the same gender they will be expected to share until 16. If they are different genders they will be required to share until they are 10. He is not getting a 3 bed from the council, however much he schemes.

Original poster
mrsnec · 10/08/2022 00:14

Yes DC are different genders. I thought that was the case.

OP posts:
Stayfreshcheesebags · 10/08/2022 00:14

Please change this back ASAP . You are setting yourself up for huge problems. Social housing is pretty non existent too.

It's fraud too as previously stated but if things turn sour he could claim custody and maintenance from you. He's not even giving you the money either.

Change it back ASAP. I do understand his difficult situation but sorry you need to protect yourself and children first. You will get a 12 month grace period from UC as well for your self employment and thereafter your minimum income floor you need to meet will be lower with children. You can also claim some childcare support through UC too which will no doubt help you with moving your business forward

WinterMusings · 10/08/2022 00:20

You need to put things right. Get everything recorded as it actually IS. You're going to get yourself in all kinds of bother & more importantly, you're telling everyone official that's HE is the primary parent.

you don't have to prove Jack shit to him!

if he moves away, it'll probably be better for the kids anyway.

tomorrow, sort out the GP situation, the EHIC cards & getting YOUR kids as registered as living with YOU.
He's bullying & manipulating you. Stop letting him!!

Original poster
mrsnec · 10/08/2022 00:20

They are registered with the school at my address and I do have documentation to back that up.

OP posts:
Unforgettablefire · 10/08/2022 00:24

Will he be entitled to even a two bed place? I'm sure men are having to pay bedroom tax if they've a spare room even when they have dc stay over, and are given one bed places so have to have dc camp down in the living room.

Notconfident · 10/08/2022 00:26

Do you have the kids birth certificates and do you claim CB? I was in a similar situation. I claim CB, ex claims the child element but we have 50/50 so it works for now and we're both low income.

Notconfident · 10/08/2022 00:26

To add. I have to pay bedroom tax and ex doesn't.

Original poster
mrsnec · 10/08/2022 00:35

No I don't claim the CB or that element of UC at the moment. I only have copies of the DC's birth certificates and passports.

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 10/08/2022 02:44

oh op, thus is very different from my scenario in first post.
I wondered, if the house is in trust to your children, if perhaps you are financially vulnerable as you sound exploited in this scenario.
Put in a claim based on being the main carer and get the child benefit back in your name also.
Does he even spend this money on his kids, currently??

ReformedWaywardTeen · 10/08/2022 03:39

OP, I'm not sure what has caused your split but he is putting you both at huge risk of a benefit fraud investigation. They are cracking down and many people have already been dealt with and ended up with huge amounts to pay back plus sanctions leaving them with next to nothing.

Your ex sounds controlling financially. Can you contact women's aid for advice or even Citizens advice? There are laws against this now. You have declared because of him something you know isn't true.

It's not your problem that he wants a house not a flat or that he doesn't find a more affordable accommodation situation. £1k for a b&b is a pisstake.

He says he will move away but why is that an issue unless you hope to get back together? Whether he moves or not he will still have to pay for his children.

You need their documents as primary parent. You also need to be firm that the children are with you and you need to provide for them. You could also be at risk of losing school places if they are incorrectly registered in a catchment school.

Is there a chance he has money hidden from the business sale? It all sounds very dodgy and massively fraudulent.

Original poster
mrsnec · 10/08/2022 04:01

So, yes he does spend some money on the DC. A big day out roughly once a month somewhere like a theme park. He never buys them treats or toys. Ocassionally he's paid for my shopping and some months he's given me up to 200 quid but he questions my outgoings and I had to prove them to him.

He's never paid for clothes or uniform though and hasn't bought DD any birthday presents but says he's going to contribute to her party. So it's like he's picking and choosing. And yes, far too controlling.

He wants reconciliation and I've tried but I can't concentrate on anything right now. He's saying he moved back for me but we separated a year ago under very bad circumstances and I haven't got over it.

If he leaves it's not that I want him back but he does do a bit for the kids and I'll miss that and worry I won't be enough for them and that they'll blame me for thier dad not being around.

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 10/08/2022 07:12

Do you have friends in rl who can support you with this, op?
Or even just someone at, say, citizens advice.
You need to put the claim back into your name. You know you do. Think of your children ... they need that money

unsync · 10/08/2022 08:07

Please speak to Women's Aid in your local area. He is abusing you emotionally and financially and you need support. They will be able to help you negotiate all of this.

You need to put yourself first so that you can look after your children. Your ex sounds awful and he is manipulating you.

Original poster
mrsnec · 10/08/2022 08:57

I'm a bit reluctant to contact citizens advice or womens aid. Neither helped me in the past.

I don't have friends locally. I have sporadic contact with a few old friends but they've all declined invites to get together.

I can't reach out to my siblings because there's a big family wedding soon I've not been invited to and I feel very bitter about it.

My parents keep telling me they've had enough, it's ruined their life too and my DSF is on the verge of reporting my husband.

I did phone the Samaritans last night and that's why I posted here. I know they're not supposed to give advice but she said 'is there a way you can find out what other people do in your situation so you can get a clearer picture in your head'

OP posts: