August Always Adds Pocket Pressure, Frugal Friends Thrive Thriftily

[Wolfcub]

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Unescorted that is excellent your work colleague can help you , l found it really hard to get to the bottom of the pension , especially as they estimated the amount we would get there was no guarantee until they actually paid us the final lump sum and then started the pension. It's nuts , it was like taking a leap of faith almost . l am not exagerating we found it really stressful

I need to get on the frugal weight loss too

Mrs I think sometimes when you have a nursing background people assume that all caring responsibilities will fall on you, and you will take them on as if it's no bother at all. When the reality is, after years of caring for others, we all want a bit of me time where we can sleep late and chill out. I really feel for you as you have a huge burden of care without the recognition it deserves from the very people that you are relieving the shared burden from. You do a fantastic job Mrs - I don't think I could do it x

I only work 23.08 hrs a week so my pension might not be that good for all I have paid into it since I was 21. I really need to think about upping my hours or paying extra into it so I can have a reasonable standard of living when I'm older. My DH has changed jobs a few times so has about 3 pension pots with small amounts in them and then the one he is currently paying into. I dread having to pull them all together. One of them recently took a nose dive presumably covid related, which made me wonder if anyone has lost out on a good retirement due to this 😮

Born l never thought of it like that and yes you are right it has all fallen onto me and my DH & Dd1
I really hope your pensions are ok , l am sure once you get them together it will be fine, it's just all the faff! If you can pay in extra then it is a really great idea to do that grab it with both hands it will be so worth it

First day back at work insomnia. Also had a mega panic attack earlier for no apparent reason. Urgh!

born I am absolutely furious! It’s their grandchild ffs, they should be happy no matter what!

north oh that’s so gutting for your DS. How is he feeling?

Thank you love!

Dinner sounds lovely tayto!, and thank you, I’m due in February :)

I was a crammer, I worked best that way. I also used my mocks as a sort of guideline on how much knowledge I had without any revision, and then would swat up for the exam. I failed all my GCSE mocks and managed to pass them all when I did take them. It’s awful for those like me and I will be trying to make sure my boys don’t do similar.

I know life! It’s just terrible

That’s terrible howl, MIL said to SIL that she’s her only chance of a granddaughter and needs to get cracking so she can have one. It’s just so upsetting, and part of me hopes if SIL does ever have a DD that she’s a tomboy who hates everything girly just to rub it in MILs face!. It’s also just girls really in my family so everyone’s chuffed to have a boy!. It’s a shame as MIL and FIL are generally nice people, it’s funny they’ve acted so cruelly!

Thank you rainbow!

Thank you mrs, I’m sorry to hear you suffered with infertility for so long. My Daunt is the same and I know she would not care what the baby was if she could just have one!. Neither could DH and I, we don’t care if it’s boy, girl or bloody alien it’s ours and we love them!. Just a shame that some see a baby as an accessory.

wolf I’m sorry to hear about your panic attack, they’re awful when they come out the blue aren’t they?

howl he's not good & I'm worried by some of the things he's saying hence posting in the middle of the night as I can't sleep. He feels that life is just turning out to be one big battle against the odds for him and that he generally loses despite everyone telling him how great he is and what a great attitude he has. Trouble is it feels that way from here too. The maths teacher has emailed out (obviously had lots of disappointed students) to explain that the college stuck rigidly to the grading guidance, so there was no allowance for his ME or for the students who under perform in assessments but then do well in the exams.

Howl so sorry your in laws have said that, that's awful and thoughtless.

North is it worth looking into some counselling for ds perhaps? He's had a lot to deal with this year as you say? I am assuming that your dh has access to EAP? If he does I believe ds would be entitled to 5 sessions of counselling through that - it might be by phone. It does all seem very unfair on him and, whilst I get what his teacher is saying re the guidance, I'm assuming they would have put in a note re his ME if he'd done exams so it's disappointing they didn't make the same allowance for their own grading.

Mrs to reiterate what Born said, I couldn't do what you do. You are brilliant but I can imagine it's exhausting

north your ds will get there in the end. I not know enough about ME and exams to be sure but would his condition have merited extra time when sitting exams? If it should have then I don't understand why they wouldn't consider it when looking at coursework and awarding his grade. You might find that they don't actually know enough about ME either and are just winging it.

Wolf sorry to hear about your panic attack. Hope today is a better day.

I hear you wolf. (((Hugs)) and similar here.

That's shit North. Yy to EAP my experience of them is good.

Caring for rellies is hard and thankless. You are doing great.

I'm so sorry about your son's results North. As a teacher it was really, really horrible grading the students and ranking them. I am certain some of the students in my class would have done really well (8s or 9s) in the exam having got 7s in their mocks. They were working so hard and knew what they needed to do to get there but we had to grade them based on the evidence from mocks, class assessments etc. It was so frustrating and I know there will be some disappointment on Thursday. 2020 can fuck right off!

Howl I can't believe anyone would think like that about babies let alone say it out loud! How insensitive.

I have had a terrible night with the dts. Ds was up a lot which is very unusual and then dd2 came into my bed at some point. I am shattered! Today is going to be loooong.

wolf I hadn't thought about accessing counselling that way, I think the ME team have a psychologist so I will ask about that today but if not, that would be a sensible route if he will buy into that.
He seemed to be doing well until yesterday, I obviously hadn't realised how much he was still pinning his hopes on the review.
Again, sorry for all my posts being so self centred. My post yesterday was me getting back to normal & then the announcement happened.....

North 2nd what wolf says - tap into EAP. Also I am going to leave this here … I failed my A levels, got into uni 2nd time around I scraped in because they misread my grades. I ended up with a 2:1 and went on to do a PhD. I know at the moment it feels as if his life is falling apart. It was horrible watching all my friends swanning off while I was stuck going into a FE college to do my retakes. He still has time to cram his exams for an autumn retake - even if it is just to get his ego back in shape. He will not be alone being a year older if he wants to defer. He will also not be alone in taking his insurance offer. I think there is going to be a lot of kids in a similar position. The other wonderful thing is that he gets to shape his narrative when he gets to uni - anyone asks of course it was his first choice if it is an easier story to tell.

wolf are you OK? If you need a chat send me a Teams / Zoom meet. I am meeting free until 9.

Mrs that sucks... maybe start billing your siblings and Bob's children. Send them a weekly update "dear all - an up date on your parents. This week we have done x y and z with your parents." In following weeks if they haven't taken note add the line "it has taken x hours and cost y amount."

howl how very dare they! that is soooooo rude. Buy them a doll that they can dress up in frocks if that is what they are missing.

wolf hope you got some sleep
howl such a horrible reaction from your in laws
born feel free to use ds as an example of what can go wrong with cramming!
mrs another here who doesn't know how you do it & yes you do a great job

Work today. Will be a welcome distraction. Shouldn't be any spends.

Snuggly it must be so hard to grade and rank them. It is an unenviable position to be in.

Thanks for sharing that unescorted. Let's see what today brings. His insurance choice isn't a disaster by any stretch, but he can't see that at the moment. We'll get there.

snuggly I don't blame the teachers at all, I wouldn't have wanted that job.

DM me if he want reassurance that I am a real person and not one of "Mum's made ups" as my 2 refer to you lovely people.

@Wolfcub

Sorry that was a bit of a rant

Rant away

@AdoraBell

NSD. School have appealed DDs grades and a couple of Unis have said they’ll take her once she has the higher grades. I’m just hoping there will still be places available.

I’m furious. Can’t sleep, appetite has disappeared and I feel nauseous.

Fingers and toes crossed for her

@Wolfcub

Put my brush down 15 mins ago. Omg I am sooo tired and so sore. I feel like I need to Voltarol my entire body. Ow ow ow.

Tayto I'm so sorry someone did that to you. It's so hurtful.

I'd like to say I've done loads Sea but I'm just moving on into room 2 (neither of which are big) which I've been doing today. Both rooms were in a terrible state and awkward spaces, but I think it's the challenge of doing most of it solo is why it takes so long and I have to be careful with the back/hip - I definitely haven't been today. Plus with having time off I wanted to spend time with ds when he's here rather than be decorating so little and often. Fingers crossed your weather improves, I think the forecasts have been way off this week so hopefully next week's forecast is bunkum

My future fingers crossed, hope to find out today if bank will lend to me for house I wish to purchase, they're willing to lend to me but there are a few things with this house that might mean they'd say no for this house

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

I got done for speeding about a year ago, I was doing 34 in a 30 area. It cost about £90 and I avoided points by going on the naughty drivers course. It did actually make me think and I really try to stick to speed limits now, it helps that my car is tiny and has the engine capacity of a lawnmower 🤣

Dd is going off with my mum today to Wales until Wednesday, I need to help her pack so should get out of bed 😬

Ha ha lawnmower comparison I remember when you bought the car thinking how cute

@Wolfcub

I've just noticed ds has an inset day in October so I've booked a holiday cottage for a long weekend, discount code used but I have booked one big enough that I can add dparents and ddog to if needed as they might also need a break by then so slightly more expensive than it could have been for two of us.

Sounds fabulous.

@ChristmasSeacow

How funny about Sainsburys Granny. I was there for ages as I couldn’t find things, it’s a big store!

We’re alright with a bit of rain - we holidayed in N Wales last year, and Scotland (including Orkney) the year before. I think 50% rain is par for the course in the Uk, though it’s a bit unlucky to get a week of rain so hopefully that won’t come to pass! Today has been better than forecast though, and we’d prebooked Caerphilly castle so that wirked out well as the rain held off for us all
Day. Just got back and it was great - lovely castle and grounds, with picnic tables inside so we picnicked in splendour. It’s also right next to the town so we managed to pop into Clark’s and get both kids’ feet measured. DS’s hadn’t changed, but DD had gone up a whole shoe size. £36 for a pair of school shoes for her (her first!) and we’ll need casual shoes too but they didn’t have anything in her size in stock (that she would wear 🙄). As her current shoes are a whole size too small, which was even worse than I suspected, I’ve just ordered some high-tops from Next to be delivered tomorrow, £21. I don’t think she’ll be in sandals all week and her shoes really are too small to leave it! I’ll get some proper Clark’s casual shoes too but as they might take too long to get to us on hols I’ll order them when I get home.

Other spends: £8 in Costa killing time till Clark’s could fit us in. And £4.10 on a magazine for DD for being good in the shoe shop - a very rare treat! Unfortunately I told her she could choose any magazine before I saw the selection... and then she chose this one. I’m just waiting for her to realise what to do with it 😫

Mine haven't got shoes since Christmas holidays so I'll be purchasing probably runners x 2, plus school shoes for both of them

@Orangecake123

No spend day for me though I was super close to spending £6.95 for the book A Pale View of Hills my sister wanted to read. I decided to check if it was added to the online library and it was! Apart from school text books which I need- I haven't bought a reading book since 2017.

I use:

www.archive.org

Despite being an american Iibrary service I had no problems signing up.

Hopefully I will get a £100 payment on friday so my total saving amount will creep up to £275/700.

Wow that's an amazing record