Friendly Frugaleers Furtively Ferreting Away to Find Fabulous Savings

[Wolfcub]

New fred

Em it sounds to me like you should have a chat to your GP asap. Just from what you're posting on here it sounds like things are spiralling a bit and you need to be in the best health you can be, mentally and physically at the moment. Dh behaving as he is, is the last thing you need at the moment, put yourself first.
Girlie I'm a B7 now & I can't see any 8a opportunities coming up locally and I love the job I do so I'm a bit stuck really. Not stuck in a bad way though. It is a really tough course, but I found it the volume of work and the complexity of all the different assessment aspects the problem rather than the level of the work I think. Is it a more specialist role that you're going for?
I'll see if I can find the email about pensions that dh had from his union love

Appointment booked with gp first thing tomorrow morning. Things are spiralling a bit. It’s not fun. But I’m trying so hard to hold it together and feel like I’m failing. Dh doesn’t see it. He sees the “we should be doing xyz and it doesn’t matter that the house is a mess” yes it does. He sees I’m being lame spending time doing laundry and not other things (if I don’t it won’t get done) and just doesn’t see the day to day stuff I do do.

He moaned this morning that we need to be more organised. By which I think he means I need to organise him. I do everything for ds as he can’t do it himself. And get my things ready. Etc. Dh flaps about. Faffing and makes us late.

He’s a huge fan of not planning things (which sometimes works out for me as it means we don’t do something I didn’t want to do iyswim). Just likes to wing it. But it’s annoying.

We bought the lovely wardrobe for ds’ room from charity shop a few weeks ago. It was delivered and has been in the garage ever since. I said it needed a bit of a clean and I wanted a second rail put in it. Dh has decided we’re going to have it stripped of its varnish and then we’ll paint it. I want it out of the garage and in ds’ room so I can hang his clothes up. Which will mean we can tidy things upstairs. Which dh wants to do. I’m not organising the stripping and varnishing. And I’m certainly not doing it myself.

Have told him if it’s not done by end of March it’s going. It’s orobably not goodfor it being in the cold garage anyway. Sigh.

So yes. Today is a spiralling day.

Yes north wound care specialist post, it's a b6 post and I actually think I'd be slightly worse off to start with as would lose my wend enhancement. I guess at least the money would go up year on year which is better than being stuck at top of b5! Plus wends and Christmas off which would be nice.

em sending you a hug, be kind to yourself sweetie. Glad you got a Dr's appointment for tomorrow.

girlie I’m trying 🙂 need to get back on the self care wagon. I’m in that “I don’t want to do xyz but know I have to” because of dc2 mode. You know? Food isn’t exciting me. Which is odd. But I have to eat.

Oh @ememem84 you're going through so much at the minute, and DH should be helping you to solve problems not creating them. Is there anyone he respects that you could ask to have a quiet word with him? His DB maybe?

Need to investigate booster seats for the car today, I think DS is now big enough for them. Will be an expense but I'm looking forward to the convenience of them.

I don't think booster seats are recommended. High back booster until age 11/12 depending on height of child is safest. (Unless that's what you meant in which case ignore me)

£5 in Tesco on strawberries and deodorant. I was so hungry but didn't cave and buy lots of crap

thats (and everyone else) thanks for your kind words. It is appreciated. Not often I have a moany but needed today. I feel I’ve been brave and have waves my hands up for help but no ones listening. So need to sort that out.

Oh em. Lots of hugs being sent your way, Any chance of one of you having some time away from the other over the weekend? Or maybe some babysitting for DS to give you a break?

Once you have your paid mat leave, would DH not consider some time with the DC as the SAHP during these expensive years, if his job is really that bad?

My Ocado delivery arrived. The driver was rather chirpy about his 250 mile round trip from London and his day out in Dorset. Don't think anyone was hurt in the fire meadow, news reports say it is a warehouse which uses robots.

My book hasn't arrived. Thought it would go through the lettter box so they will try to redeliver tomorrow ☹️

Today was an unfrugal spend day:
£1.80 hot chocolate
£3.99 subway
£3 parking
£2.58 on tissues (my nose started pouring through class) and sweeties

Sorry em, just reread the bit about him not wanting to be a SAHP.

Shame, my DP would have loved it! If we had a third, I think he might fight me over shared parental leave 😂

Em you do sound very flat I'm pleased you're seeing your doctor. I'm pissed off with your dh and I don't even know him he's being very immature and unsupportive. I know your mum also has old fashioned views, how about your sister? You two are close if I remember correctly.

Almost done with work for the week 🙌🏼

Thank you for the new thread.

Thanks cag for asking. I'm fine. I was in bed most of last week with a stinker of a cold that's all and have been catching up with life since then. Hesitate to say flu - that's a word too often used.

meadow. I think you make a sensitive and perceptive point. I'm glad you made it. A lot of folk on here struggle at times with MH issues. They quite rightly should get the emotional and physical support they need. When you live with someone that has MH issues, in Dh's case, bi-polar, you can find that their feelings towards you are often dependent on how they are feeling. So, when DH starts to spiral, things about me that were just 'me', or he even usually finds endearing, can suddenly be an irritant or annoying. So you walk a tight rope of trying to support and understand, but the sands can shift. It can be hard to always recognise this is the MH issue and not about you per se and not be hurt by it all. On top of that, no one ever asks how you are doing - it's 99.9% of the time about your partner. I'm glad you said that even though your DH is one of the good ones, you still feel he should do more, I like that self awareness that you know this. I'm not a massively needy person, I'm pretty self sufficient overall (benefits of a crappy upbringing maybe..) but it can be hard, especially after 20 years of marriage next week😁.

The person that gets this the most is MIL, as Fil is also bipolar. I remember when DH was first diagnosed and everyone quite rightly supported him, she took me to one side and said the kettle was always on. 😁

Hooray north, I'm so pleased you've passed the exams. Fabulous stuff.

I haven't read back further.

Some food wastage last week as we were all pretty poorly.

Spends today
£70 Boots on mainly Liz Earle items to utilise an offer.
£100 Marks and Spencer. Using Birthday vouchers on food sadly but I feel we all need a health boost and I don't need anything.

I'm getting a Smartmeter installed next week which should be interesting and my frugal job tomorrow is to change broadband deal.

£3 hospital parking, only paid for 2 hours there for 7. No fine though.
DS is on crutches for something. Possible virus on his hip, possible muscular skeletal. Open Access to children's ward.
£12.05 on food in the hospital,£39 Sainsbury's on pain killers and treats.

Em, defo a spiral starting. Post away lovely we are listening.
Not heard owt about cs pension but I'm in the Union any more.
Hey jam pleased you are feeling better.
Hey all else.

Well done north!

ASDA has been - how's this for some stockpiling

sneaky at first glance I thought you’d stockpiled Nutella. Then enlarged the picture. 😀😂

Looks good sneaky

Shit life, your poor DS. Is he okay? Are you okay? ❤️

Good stockpiling there sneaky.

Jam pleased you're feeling better. I like to spend M&S vouchers on food too

Oh no life fingers crossed for a swift recover for ds!

Well done sneaky I bet you feel great knowing there's lots of food in, it's very comforting imo.

It is! Puts my mental issues at rest to have food in

If anyone here does stockpile Nutella don’t tell anyone, my DD2 will raid your cupboards 😁

Well done getting the appointment em

NSD. I need eggs but CBA to get anything. Meh, I’ll pick some up tomorrow. Also need a birthday card for a friend.

Omg life that sounds rough, your poor ds.

Good stockpiling sneaky

jam if you were in bed for a week it was definitely flu! Did you have your flu jab? 😉😂

Dd is doing maths homework, I am no use to her!!

Well done north 🍾 💐

Didn't get all that much for £100 being honest wrecked but what I did get looked yummy😁

In other news, DD has finally firmed her university choice, which is an unconditional offer so at least takes the pressure off her somewhat to get AAB, which is the standard for this course and institution. She's too much of a worker to take her foot off the gas anyway, so I've no doubt she'll be working away to achieve what she's capable of getting.

And it's not far away, which selfishly makes me very happy!

life hope your Ds is OK - that sounds quite scary.
Sneaky I always stock up when I feel stressed. It good to know I am not alone.

Jam what you say is so true about the changing sands and focus.

Meadow really don't worry about your dd crying at toddler groups or while you are out and about. We have all been there and worn the T shirt. Sometimes kids pick up on our stress so give yourself not to care what other people think. Who cares if they huff and puff - they are just being ignorant dicks with bad manners.

em why is it he turns into a prize donkey whenever his mother threatens to visit? I can't remember who said it but it is like he reverts into his father.

North? I am not on the CS pension scheme - our part has it's own pension scheme which is much more solvent.

I may have accidently fallen into Booths today..... my bank balance has not forgiven me. But I do have a HUGE Cumberland ring and a selection of locally made cheese. And I got half price coffee because of my Booth's card.

Jam I so want dd to go to a local uni but I am guessing that she will end up in London, Berlin or Amsterdam.