The Friendly Frugaleers - Furtively planning Christmas, as August arrives

[StoogingOn]

Welcome one and all!

Citizen card, that's it, thanks.

Good idea about the email fluffy. I was also miffed that when I tried canceling my packaged account a few months back they never said I could do it online. But apparently I can (not on the app just the website). When I get online properly. Sigh. (Text based stuff like MN is about as far as my phone can handle).

Passport renewal sounds good and easy but I have to change my name on that too! They'd have accepted it as ID to downgrade the account (as they needed it to be in the old name, basically I've had the account so long they need to prove I'm still me...) if it wasn't expired. I haven't been abroad since 2010!

I do know what you mean sunny about the wondering/worrying, but it's also worth noting that it's a common (but perhaps less known) feature of ASD, the not quite knowing where boundaries are. I've definitely had issues with it in the past (teachers especially). So it is normal for you to feel like that because you have ASD, and feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. Just don't act on it and all is well :) another excellent reason for diagnosis - it really helps to understand and accept things like this.

It's okay Bandit It's nothing to worry about. I just get on really well with them, and know them somewhat from social events outside of work, so wonder how they're getting on.

Partly I'm reflecting my own experience of being ill, which has been mostly isolation and struggle, and I don't like to think of anyone else experiencing that. I do realise that it's not my place to help in these particular situations though.

Also thank you all for not laughing at my ID failure I am the poster child for procrastination! But it's one of those things that I feel more ready to tackle now. It's really amazing (sorry, here I go again...) how being here in the new house is making such a difference to my mental health already. Like I actually feel I can sort all these things out rather than them feeling bigger than Everest. As I'm sitting in a lovely bright airy room looking out on the garden rather than in a tiny cluttered dark room with damp issues feeling like we'd never get out so what was the point in trying to do anything to improve life.

I'll stop now until next time anyway

Born yes that small town thing is the way I see it. I grew up in a small town where my GP was my school friend's Dad. I remember my dm going round to offer him a bit of sympathy once when he was off ill long term, and they are still good friends long after retirement. He came to visit my dm several times in hospital recently and they had such a chuckle together.

I had a lovely GP a few years ago, for 15 years, and when he retired he told me which choirs he sings in especially so we could visit. We had a great time at his concert recently and it was so lovely to see him and hear all about how he had written one of the pieces of music.

I think maybe I'm just a bit of a chatterbox, and get on well with these people. I think that's nice.

Cag I know what you mean, but I do think I'm pretty sensible, and know where the lines are.

Thats brilliant Cag
Totally get where you are coming from
Our surroundings can have a profound effect on our MH.
Moving here was such a relief for me as I loathed where we lived before .
I did wonder that about ASD Cag
Hope Ive not been too harsh but if a client contacted me inappropriately I would be informing the police.
Concern is ok but thats it .
Mind I dont have any reference to work on any SM,have opted out of searches via electoral roll etc and am super careful with disclosing anything in front of "clients"

I live in that sort of place Sunny but its made me even firmer with boundaries ifyswim?

I dont really get the "sympathy" thing if I were ill .
I dont like seeing people if ill -prefer to be left alone as Im a very private person.
I dont disclose any illness to my extended family as they would tell everyone from here to Lands End,all the gory details.
Downside of small place living I guess.
Drives me nuts !

My DH is like that Quite hates me discussing his health or business with anyone. I’m the opposite which can cause some friction between us... I obviously have boundaries but generally am a problem halved is a problem shared kind of person.

LOL! Bandit it sounds as though we are maybe poles apart. I tell all and sundry about myself, and am always glad of a natter. That's nice that you know what you want in your life and how to get it though. That's a good thing

Happybirthday sunny in the cinema with dd1 today. Spend 15£ on popcorn candy and drinks in the cinema. Its crazy prices but know dd1 loves the whole experience of it.
Tomorrow we go to LEGOLAND. Got the price in total down to 40£ for all of us and then we can come as many times we wish untill the end of the year

I'm really pleased that your new home is having such a positive impact, cag.

We are off to Leigh-on-sea in a bit.
Hope everyone has a good Wednesday.

Cag that's great that the new house is doing you so much good.

I'm on the other end of the professional relationship thing being a teacher. I try to avoid certain places eg shops close to the school as I always see kids there and while most of them are friendly and say hello I don't want them knowing my business all the time. Some of them have said something funny things though like they spotted me in town. With a man! I pointed out that I am a teacher not a nun and that he is my husband! When I first started teaching I was only a few years older than the sixth form so I had to rethink my social life quite a bit to avoid running into them whilst drunk on a night out!

Dts are asleep. My mum came round with cake and has taken dd1 out for a bit so I'm having a sit down with tea and cake. I should really do either some school work or house work but cba.

That's interesting Snuggly. I've never been in that kind of job, though I remember how incredibly embarrassing it was as a school child to bump into a teacher outside of school.

I always think that this is one of the nice things about living in a larger town. I do like to have my own anonymity and having the opportunity to meet lots of new people is so nice, rather than being stuck up against the same small group for decades.

Where I am there's a constant flux of people so every five minutes we have new neighbours who might be from India, or Israel or Kenya or wherever and I really like it. Often their boxes of luggage get delivered to our house to be collected. So we get to be their welcoming committee when they arrive in the country for the first time, and I especially enjoy that. And then six months later they leave and we get a new lovely lot of people to meet.

The professional boundaries thing is so important, I would be mortified if a patient contacted me outside of work. It is tricky in a small community though as every one knows every one!!

I haven't seen my gp in years, the last few times I've been to the Dr's I've seen other gps, I avoid going if at all possible tbh.

I think little and often with food and fluid is the way forward sunny

I have secret number and address as well. And I never reveal my surname anywhere because I'm the only one in Denmark with the name. In my previous job a client tried to approached me in a weekend because I had put his house on foreclosure (had to because he was behind payments and according to the t&c in the agreement this was the steps to go)
He was clearly deaddrunk and caring a baseball bat. Luckily the police came fast and nothing happened. But I was seriously scared. And now I have a zero tolerance regarding clients wanting my private details or contacting me outside working hours

That's interesting that you feel like that too Girlie.

I was talking to a friend recently who has just given up being a meals on wheels and home help person for the elderly, and she's been running round all her clients exchanging contact details as she was so close to them and couldn't bear to lose touch. They felt very much the same, and we so pleased to keep her as a friend.

It sounds as though some people really love the chat and want to stay in touch, and some people really really don't. I suppose the hope is that everyone has clear enough social signals to make it obvious which way they are. I imagine that they probably do, or they wouldn't be in that sort of job.

The closest thing I suppose I have is Beavers, and I'd absolutely love to see my Beavers grow up through the years and hear from them periodically. I suppose one day they will be adults and I'll be an old lady. LOL!

Oh my goodness Scandi. That does sound scary.

I'm a scientist and we are all pretty much family in my career group. I'm not sure if I have clients. I don't think so.

I work now for the Danish tax authorities as and have weekly personal appointments with ppl living in Denmark who do not speak Danish so help them in either English, German or French.

We have clear guidelines and could be fired/ struck off for over stepping boundaries sunny I don't imagine it's the same for non professionals. That said I've known some patients for years and of course care about them, I still keep work/personal life entirely seperate though!!

Dont get me wrong I absolutely love my job. And feel great being able to help others. And I go a mile to give great service and also an extra
But I take care to keep myself anonymously and want clients to respect my privacy.

That's funny about seeing students outside of school snuggly I always feel sorry for any of dds teachers we accidentally bump into! Hilarious that they are shocked by your dh 😂 I can remember a pregnant teacher at secondary school and everyone was shocked! Maybe kids do think all teachers are actually nuns 😉😅

I think doing voluntary Community work is different to being bound by a professional body and professional guidelines Sunny
Thats where Im coming from .
Not only is unwanted contact outside of the professional role annoying and intrusive,any reciprocation could be viewed as the professional stepping outside of their role and boundaries and have repercussions particularly if the petson is deemed as vulnerable.

Im happy to chat to people/neighbours if I meet walking the dog through the village etc but long discussions about their piles or whatever .
Umm no thanks

I chased up the elusive Boden Nectar points .
After much discussion Nectar have credited 200 points to my account -more than I was owed.
I think they chose this rather than faff about chasing Boden -win!

So much for my rest. They sodding well woke up half an hour sooner than normal. DD2 is very grumpy. I think it's pushchair walk time. Need milk anyway so will head to shop.

I hadn't thought about the ramifications of the medical person contacting a client outside of work. That had passed me by entirely. That's useful to know.

We're much much freer in science. I can drop someone a line anywhere in the world just to ask a question, and they pretty much greet me like along lost cousin. Mind you, I've never done undergraduate teaching, and I'm sure it has all sorts of rules too. I've never done that though.

I'm celebrating my birthday properly with a building project now. Pretty good it is too. Yay!