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Original poster

Frugaleers chatting and saving in the April sunshine.

999 replies

SunnyLikeThursday · 25/03/2018 17:43

Welcome to the new thread. This is a support thread for chatting and discussion of family budgeting.

OP posts:
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20
lifelongfrugaleer · 29/03/2018 20:34

Sorry about the job unescorted

ememem84 · 29/03/2018 20:37

cag JoJo are selling those retro toys (I think we’re roughly same age...give or take a couple of years) the pull along telephone, pull along dog.... in getting those for ds. Yay!

ememem84 · 29/03/2018 20:38

Also dinosaur clothing. It’s Acevedo.

ememem84 · 29/03/2018 20:38

*ace.

Ffs I’ve only had one g&t.

Unescorted · 29/03/2018 20:48

I am officially over it. Thanks for the sympathetic replies. You guys are ace.

I now have 10 days off with no particular plans. So I am going to do some drawing and painting and maybe make a frock. If the weather is better than predicted I might even venture out walking.

lifelongfrugaleer · 29/03/2018 20:54

It's their loss unescorted

Unescorted · 29/03/2018 21:01

I think I might start a business selling partially used batteries to parents whose children get given noisy toys by well meaning childless friends or evil grandparents.

My only sunshine is etched in to my psyche.

Laska5772 · 29/03/2018 22:28

Cag I totally and absolutely agree. In my case my TTM/OCD and (I realise of course that it is not the same as Autism) only appeared at that time and i only managed to finally get some control over it in my late 30s

Laska5772 · 29/03/2018 22:29

I had a Negroni this may becoming an problem

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 29/03/2018 22:31

Thanks for the reply cag the programme was very good, I had an interesting conversation with my mum today. She said something along the lines of everyone being a bit autistic 😒 and not seeing the point in having it as a label. I pointed out that for many people having the diagnosis is life changing in terms of understanding themselves.

I think a lot of the older generation think like this unfortunately, they see diagnosis as a bad thing whereas I would see it as very positive.

That said the programme said it takes about two years to get a diagnosis in the UK at the moment. I know my gp would not be interested in my concerns re dd, he dismissed my concerns about her sensory issues 😬 might try and speak to SENCO at her school and see what they think.

ememem84 · 29/03/2018 22:39

Two g&ts then we ran out of g. So I switched yo a raspberry vodka and t. Le yum.

We just watched the thing about boobs. With Coleen Nolan. Ladies night? Get your boobs out or something.

I said to dh I’d totally do thatbfor a good cause. He’s not impressed.

I would though.

Laska5772 · 29/03/2018 22:44

You ran out of Gin???!!!!ShockShockShock..aaarrgghhh

999!

I bought a bottle of Bombay Sapphire earlier this week (as cheap in Sainsbos) only to find we had two more under the stairs Blush

Laska5772 · 29/03/2018 22:46

we also have 3 bottles of blackcurrant vodka that I made two years ago..(i dont really drink vodka)

CremeEggThief · 29/03/2018 23:25

I watched it, Girlie, and definitely feel I can relate to the masking and sensory issues myself.

I also believe that the reason DS (15) has always been tired and needed a nap most afternoons since starting secondary school (he's been checked for deficiencies and diabetes twice, and there's no physical cause) is down to the enormous strain he puts on himself to conform and fit in at school. He occasionally has epic meltdowns too.

I always need quiet time after meeting up with a friend or friends for more than an hour, as one of the ladies in the social experiment pointed out, although a lie down on the sofa rather than in a dark room is enough for me.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 29/03/2018 23:37

It is interesting creme I find being around people for too long tiring and like time to myself, I also suspect I have sensory issues with food and textures. I definitely do not think I have asd though, dd is different to me she struggles socially, emotionally and has a wide range of sensory issues. Definitely has made me think....

WreckTangled · 29/03/2018 23:46

Love I've got a friend who's an HR manager. She said she's not enjoying it, employment law is never likely to change and she's bored. She would love to do HR consulting but feels she hasn't got the experience to do so.

Girlie senco is the place to start for sure. That said a diagnosis isn't always the best thing if she's managing (obviously I don't know her so this is just a general comment) but if you got a diagnosis how would it improve her life? What additional support would it give her? Could a diagnosis ever hold her back in the future? These are just things I would ask in this situation. I really do think asd is on the increase but no one knows why.

ChristmasSeacow · 30/03/2018 00:32

I saw the programme and I thought it was very interesting to see the sort of behaviour they look for in adults during the diagnostic process - I am more familiar with the childhood scenarios /benchmarks.

The question of whether a diagnosis (as an older child or adult) is a good thing is a complex one. I was at a talk/discussion event last night by two authors of books about ASD - one is the mother of a boy now 7, diagnosed at 2, and the other was a lady diagnosed in her 40s. She felt wholly positive about her diagnosis as she felt it ‘explained’ her better, rather than her thinking herself merely odd; previously she had known she wasn’t like other people but didn’t really understand that she had her own tribe and rationale for the way she responded to things. I think it can also give a framework for support / adjustments that would make life easier, for instance in the workplace. But it’s not for everyone and her advice was to be sure in your own mind why you would want to know. She had felt very apprehensive about telling her teenage children but apparently they didn’t bat an eyelid. Sunny you may find the programme interesting if you are expecting to go through the assessment process. I was a little put off my the programme’s name but it wasn’t the blunt self-diagnosis quiz that I feared.

Girlie if you think it would be helpful to know then don’t let the Gp fob you off. It’s hard to know what is best though - teen and pre-teen years are a delicate time for self-confidence.

Sorry about the job Unescorted.

I am so tired I can’t remember most of what I’ve read! Will be back tomorrow. We have shelved the planned day out due to rainy forecast. Poor DS was really upset walking home from school as the rain was so heavy (he has a massive sensory issue with wet clothes). But although he cried he managed not to have a complete meltdown so I was really proud of him.

I met an old school friend for lunch today (about £12 spent) and she turned up with a beautiful bouquet of flowers to cheer me up. Another lovely friend posted Lindt chocolate sheep through my letterbox this evening. Good friends to have Grin

I am simultaneously glad it is the holidays and dreading them. So hard to get out he House with my two kids and Just one adult! Hmm

Original poster
SunnyLikeThursday · 30/03/2018 04:13

Thanks for the word about the autism programme. I'm trying to watch it right now and can't look at the screen because of sensory trouble with the very rapidly moving images. No idea where that puts me.

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Original poster
SunnyLikeThursday · 30/03/2018 05:22

I've watched and/or listened to the whole of that now, and it was interesting. It was nice to see what Simon Baren-Cohen is like, because he's one of the local folks here and I'd been fretting this last week about what it would be like to meet him. He seems nice.

I've still no idea where I would be on their diagnostic test. I think I'm much more intuitive than the Mum on the show, and I genuinely do enjoy small talk, although I have to concentrate quite hard to get it right. I'm not sure whether I'm good at change. I mainly really have a lot of sensory trouble, which I could really do without. I thought the musician on the programme seemed like a lovely bloke.

In other news, my parents have a moving date, which is really huge. They're arriving in less than a month from now. It's going to be really strange as twice now my dm has been in hospital 500 miles away, too far to visit, and we thought perhaps not coming back out, and now she is coming to live just up the road from me. That's huge isn't it?

OP posts:
lifelongfrugaleer · 30/03/2018 07:34

That's good that the house is finally going through sunny.

I can't add to the autism discussion as I have no experience.

Going off line for the weekend as there will be no WiFi and it will not be frugal.

Happy Easter frugaleers.

Loveabaconsandwich · 30/03/2018 07:37

That’s so exciting your parents have a moving date and will make such a difference sunny

I used to do quite a bit of HR work wreck but not high level stuff. SIL is an HR business partner and not loving it either for the most part. I wonder if a masters is overkill though and I should just do something lower level. I’m not hurrying to decide as currently resting my brain Grin. I might sign up to a cheap accounting course and see if it is interesting enough to study.

ChristmasSeacow · 30/03/2018 08:50

Blimey Sunny, up at 4am!

I feel much better for a decent sleep. I did the night wakings but then got a lie in till 8.30am. Am just thinking about getting up now. I am feeling rather grumpy about the fact that rain is forecast for most of this weekend and also the whole time we are in Devon 😬. This is quite difficult with DS’s sensory issues as we can only really take him to ‘outdoor’ attractions that aren’t too crowded but he also can’t deal with his clothes getting wet. Sigh.

Hunger will eventually force me out of this bed. Plan for today is to go round the house and fill boxes and boxes for the charity shop. No mercy.

ememem84 · 30/03/2018 09:03

seacow I’ve been doing the decluttering and charity shop trips. It’s exhaustjng but I’ve got rid of so so much stuff.

Off to see fil today. Then lunch with dparents. Dm is making fishy pie. Mmmm.

Girliefriendlikesflowers · 30/03/2018 10:00

I'm annoyed about the weather as well seacow We are also off to Devon to a caravan, it's lovely but if we can't spend much time on the beach it's going to be hard work entertaining everyone. Dd also struggles with being wet, cold etc.

It's a tricky one thinking about a diagnosis and something I will have to really think about. The issue is at the moment dd seems to struggle with so many things that having a reason/diagnosis would be useful but whether she will always struggle I don't know!

Plan today is to take dd clothes shopping and get myself a new swim cossie...

AdoraBell · 30/03/2018 10:25

£19 in snacks and drinks. Should really have been more organised, but I CBA.

Will try to catch up.