from January I have £62 a month to buy food, extra heating and everything else...

[Happylander]

Due to ex leaving me I have, after all bills apart from extra heating, £62 a month to buy food and anything else I need.

Anyone got any advice on how the hell I am supposed to manage I already shop at LIDL.

Try Gingerbread single parents helpline 0808 802 0925. Ask them about you paying the mortgage and his name still being on it..

My take is you need to be out of that house and mover to a cheaper area/smaller property or you need to give up on the car.

Maybe you could find another single parent to share your house with? Try a single parents group?

If you are desperate try The Trussell Trust for food parcels.

I live in Sussex my mortgage is the same as rent and selling costs would outstrip any equity. I need my car to be able to drop my DS off before work to my mums and then pick him up after. If I didn't have it I would have to get up at 5am to walk 3 miles to my mums to drop him before getting a bus and by the time I had got on buses back, picked him up and then walked back in the pitch black I would not get home until 22:30 or later.

Oh and he pays but only what the CSA states and no more this is despite the fact that his expendable income is about £1500 a month. He has left with me debts to pay. His OW is welcome to him as far as I am concerned now. At least I don' t have to worry about how much more debt he is getting into.

I am not on any medication but probably should be but I prefer to get out and walk the dog. Use a moon cup so no money spent on tampons.

Unfortunately for me the ex thinks it is doable but no I don't think it is right but not much I can do about it.

It's not doable for food, no, not when that food also has to include a 2 year old who needs fruit and veg etc. And what happens when he needs new shoes? New clothes? DS is stuck wearing T shirts and joggers as PJs at the moment because we can't afford to get more, and that's bad enough, but I've just got a new job so at least have hope things will improve in the next month or two.

You poor thing :( I totally empathise... I managed on £17.50 a week for me and one ds for a while.... I did do it! Utterly soul destroying.... but this too shall pass and it won't last forever remember... I learned a lot of lessons.
I'm a vegetarian so that made things easier... ds is not but doesn't eat much meat...
I sold lots of things to keep me going... did car boots which kept us fed for a whole summer! Plus ebay... And local buy and sell sites... I've gutted my wardrobe!
I reckon you need to phone the tax credits people too... I think you should be entitled to child tax credit.
Don't sell your house!! Renting is an absolute nightmare... You have to find a landlord that will take you as a housing benefit recipient and you are then at their mercy. A friend of mine in a similar situation swapped to an interest only mortgage for a while which helped a lot.
It's hard but you will manage! Good luck!

If you have sky tv ring and cancel they'll offer you a deal I pay £35 for what was costing £70 as I just couldn't afford it anymore

Situation sounds terrible.

First port of call needs to be CCCS or national debtline.

You can't afford to pay your debts and they can help arrange a plan.

Sign up for surveysites. I earn £3 a survey through pinecone. It's not much and only a few a month but helps.

Can you take in ironing or do some babysitting to get extra cash?

Agree you need to rent out that spare room- make marketing that a priority. If you are close by to hospital is there a member of staff who only wants it part time to save travel time and petrol?

Re clothing for son. Put requests on freecycle for spare clothes. You'll be surprised how generous people are.

Also eBay everything you can - better still using a buy and sell Facebook group - cash, no fees and little risk of any disputes.

Can you be at supermarket around 3/330 on a Sunday? Loafs of bread 10p etc.

Does your mum realise how bad situation is? Can you eat at hers once a week for At least one decent meal a week?

My mum has been fantastic and already given me money to cover the mortgage if I can't pay it. I just don't want to touch it as I owe her loads already...also been left with that debt by him. I also feel that I can't sponge off my mum for ages and so need to sort on my own and she already look as after my DS for nothing while I work shifts.

I will get nowhere with the debt from him. I have sent him all my outgoings and earnings and showed there is nothing on there for me and all he said was he would start paying me £80 a month more if I let him have whatever contact he wants with out DS. I am only letting him see him with someone present at the moment as I have had constant threats of him taking him and going for custody so not allowing unsupervised access until it is all sorted. He has suggested mediation which I am happy with but not sure as he is such a liar and does not think he is doing anything wrong or said anything wrong to me and that his behaviour is totally acceptable. His last words to me last week were 'if you start being nice to me I won't go to court' my reply 'er you keep threatening me with taking DS, you have tried to get the mortgage company to put the house up for sale and won't give me enough money!' his reply while laughing was 'well then I can't wait to get to court and take DS from you then and it will only cost me £200 to process the papers and have him as I will easily win as you can't afford him' not sure how mediation can work with that kind of attitude as surely you need some insight into how your behaviour can have a affect how someone else behaves and surely you need to be able to apologise. Oh well I am prepared to try it but quite frankly I want a residency order as I can't stand to spend the next 14-16 years with him threatening going for custody every time I don't bow down to his demands and refuse to change plans at short notice to accommodate his social life with his OW.

thesecondcoming his reputation among my friends is ruined so it really is no loss to him. Once he started threatening to take our DS and refused to pay me back any money or more towards our DS then I went to the Army but as not legally married not much they can do.

My other debt is just a loan but I am really reluctant to go down the whole I can't pay it route and would rather try other money saving tips and food frugal ways first.

I have reduced phone/broadband from £75 to £38 by changing to sky already. I can't get rid of car the insurance is actually quite cheap as I am old and so is the car LOL. I am going to start walking more rather than taking the car and I have had to do this before and it actually knocked about £20 a month off my petrol costs. Plus I lost a stone and felt better for it.

God that was a long one sorry. I feel slightly better this morning about +6+3
things and have put some of DS old toys away for a boot sale next year. I have changed add on website to include males so hopefully will get a bit more interest now and when my friend arrives I can spend some time putting adds for room on other websites. As at the moment it takes me about 3 hours to write anything as have to keep running off to play with DS. If I can rent that room out I will be fine.

Thanks for all the tips everyone. I will defiantly meal plan I always remembering grumbling at my mum for having the same meals on the same day of the week and now I know why she had to do it.

thesecondcoming something got deleted there. His reputation is ruined amongst my friends is ruined but he is in the army and does not live around here anymore so it is no loss to him.

If you're not having luck with a lodger, have you considered having a foreign language student? Depends on your location but that can be good money. You need to provide meals and in general it's more commitment, but they're also not there forever!

Do you do a regular commute? Could you give lifts to someone for a share of petrol money?

But walking more is a much better idea :)

He should be paying 15% of his income for one child, that is way more than 80 quid. Is he paying child main for other children?

No he has 2 kids. so 20% divided by too so £220 but I am asking him for £80 more on top as he has left me in debt and with a huge mortgage. Went to welfare they did nothing.

You are not going to manage food and other biits on £64 pm. You just won't- if interest rates rise, or car insurance does, or shoes break or.... heck the toilet seat here just broke, £15 gone: mild pita for us, week#s food for you.

Proper debt advice is what you need to cover loan and mortgage. Make sure whoever you get your advice from is a charity and not the sales debt of a bankruptcy group- they do that! National Debtline look OK?

Know that this is not forever; things will settle.