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So disappointed that my mum may have risked Christmas.

516 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 17/12/2021 11:14

My mum and dad love hosting Christmas Day - it’s been that way for about 15 years and all the family get together and it’s been a long running family tradition. There’s usually about 10-12 people in total.

Last year both parents (but especially my mum) were really upset that the family Christmas Day couldn’t go ahead because they see the event as such an important part of our family tradition. Some family members live in a different area of the country so it’s always been a lovey opportunity to get together.

Anyhow - over the last few months my parents have been getting into the festive mood and have been really excited about being able to host Christmas Day again and we’ve all really been looking forward to it. We all bring food contributions so the work load isn’t all on my parent’s shoulders and so we’ve all been planning it together etc.

However, I spoke to my mum last night and apparently on Wednesday night she went to a concert with some of her work friends to see a local band. She said it was in a small concert hall (so no ventilation) where everyone was singing and nobody had to wear masks. She said there were about 300 people there.

I was just gobsmacked.

I asked her why she would take that risk 10 days before Christmas when she is hosting everyone and especially when three of the family members are over 70 years old (although they are generally very well for their age).

She said “I won’t catch it”
I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”

She said that as she is triple vaccinated she will be fine and that she had “been good” as she had her App turned on Confused I felt so exasperated and told her the App doesn’t stop people picking Covid up from someone else though!

I gently told her that I thought she was mad to have taken the risk.

I’m so disappointed - not so much for all of the family because if my mum/dad did get unwell and had to isolate then the rest of us would have Christmas Dinner somewhere else (me and husband would be happy to host) but I know my mum will be devastated again if she has to miss out on our traditional family celebration.

I just don’t understand why she’d take the risk.

I spoke to my sister about it this morning and she thinks I was out of order to express how I felt or try to make our mum feel guilty, and yes, maybe I was and my intention certainly wasn’t to guilt-trip her, but I was just so shocked when she told me.

I really hope she doesn’t catch it because she’s going to be so upset if she has to miss out on Christmas Day.

I know it was my mum’s risk to take but if she gets unwell I’m still going to feel so upset for her. It will put such a dampener on Christmas Day if she can’t be a part of it with the rest of us.

I just had to vent!!

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 17/12/2021 13:37

So you're not isolating either OP?

Classic case of what I do is fine and what others do is wrong then?!?

Egghead68 · 17/12/2021 13:44

She is deluded to say she “just won’t” catch Covid.

However, as others have said, it was 10 days before Christmas so she will know whether she has been infected or not in time to cancel. If she has to cancel, well that’s on her, as they say.

DaisyNGO · 17/12/2021 13:47

I think you're being mean and very extra

But I do wonder if she's had it already with this comment "I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”"

DontWantTheRivalry · 17/12/2021 13:49

Classic case of what I do is fine and what others do is wrong then?!?

Was is it you assume I’m doing that isn’t ‘fine’?

Are you telling me there’s no middle ground between self isolation and going to a music concert in an unventilated area with 300 other people, where there’s lots yelling, singing, close contact and nobody in masks?

So we have to be the kind of person that behaves on way or the other?

OP posts:
DaisyNGO · 17/12/2021 13:49

Also, are you sure she will be devastated?

Maybe she opted to have fun while she could...any other family member could get it and so on. Maybe she's more realistic than you think.

Flaxmeadow · 17/12/2021 13:49

However, as others have said, it was 10 days before Christmas so she will know whether she has been infected or not in time to cancel. If she has to cancel, well that’s on her, as they say.

How will she, or any of us, know? When PCR test reaults are running so late ATM. Some people are now waiting 3 and 4 days or even longer ATM for results. Seems there is a big backlog in the post and at the laboratories.

ThatsNiiice · 17/12/2021 13:52

Who made you judge, jury and executioner of how others live their lives?

Your posts are passive aggressive about how you are SO SHOCKED she would take such a risk. You just feel bad FOR HER.

No you dont, you dont like that she went out and you're trying to punish her for it.

I've had this exact situation recently. Went to a works meal and was then uninvited from my goddaughters birthday party because I was 'a risk'. Its about you trying to control what other people do and quite frankly its absurd.

DontWantTheRivalry · 17/12/2021 13:52

But I do wonder if she's had it already with this comment "I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”

I hope not seeing as she’s never isolated.

Besides, even if she had been diagnosed at some point in the past, she would have told us about it.

I think the pause was because she knew there was no way to answer the question.

OP posts:
Elodeastar · 17/12/2021 13:53

Let her live her life, make her own decisions, and deal with any consequences - Covid is making too many folk think they can control what other folk do. You cannot, no matter how much you want to/think you can!

DontWantTheRivalry · 17/12/2021 13:55

No you dont, you dont like that she went out and you're trying to punish her for it.

Why would I not like that she went out?!

She goes out a lot and it’s great she has a good social life.

What a bizarre thing to say Confused

OP posts:
livinthedream1995 · 17/12/2021 13:55

@lemmein

THANK YOU. I’ve been saying this for months, For at least the last 5 or so years it’s the same headlines every single winter. Probably longer than 5 years but I’m being conservative. No beds, patients waiting in corridors, A&E’s closing and hospitals/ICU’s are overwhelmed, waiting lists go up. Every. Single. Year. Whilst covid hasn’t helped, the NHS has been in dire straits for a VERY long time and it cannot just be pinned on covid.

twilightermummy · 17/12/2021 13:55

When people are being their most unreasonable, self, they never seem to put the vote on. It really boils my piss.

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/12/2021 13:56

I think she was daft too. I know so many people with Covid at the moment I'm not going anywhere crowded at all. We've already got one family member positive yesterday so they'll miss their family Christmas.

ThatsNiiice · 17/12/2021 13:57

@DontWantTheRivalry

No you dont, you dont like that she went out and you're trying to punish her for it.

Why would I not like that she went out?!

She goes out a lot and it’s great she has a good social life.

What a bizarre thing to say Confused

The way you are behaving is bizarre to be honest. You sound jealous that others aren't as terrified of an invisible virus as you are.
Arethechildreninbedyet · 17/12/2021 13:57

Op, in the nicest way chill the fuck out.

She’s done nothing wrong. She’s no more likely to catch it at a concert than at a restaurant or in an office.

I take it you aren’t on house arrest before the holidays? You’ve not taken the children out of school? Not stopped going out? Have you insisted other family members do the same?

ThatsNiiice · 17/12/2021 13:57

@twilightermummy

When people are being their most unreasonable, self, they never seem to put the vote on. It really boils my piss.
Because they cant handle the landslide!!
Coyoacan · 17/12/2021 13:58

.
I’m not sure how this means they are treating their parents like a child

Of course you are treating her like a child and delighting in it. You have even come on here to boast about it. You would never speak to anyone else, apart from your underage children, like that.

BoredZelda · 17/12/2021 13:59

So we have to be the kind of person that behaves on way or the other?

Yes, don’t you understand? The rules have to be the same everywhere or they are rubbish rules. You can’t be expecting a nation who have been banging on about being trusted to be sensible and properly risk assess, to actually do that now, can you?

CSJobseeker · 17/12/2021 13:59

@DontWantTheRivalry

But I do wonder if she's had it already with this comment "I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”

I hope not seeing as she’s never isolated.

Besides, even if she had been diagnosed at some point in the past, she would have told us about it.

I think the pause was because she knew there was no way to answer the question.

I think the pause was because she was shocked you would ask such an obviously unreasonable question.
mustbetheseasonofthebitch · 17/12/2021 14:00

@DontWantTheRivalry

Classic case of what I do is fine and what others do is wrong then?!?

Was is it you assume I’m doing that isn’t ‘fine’?

Are you telling me there’s no middle ground between self isolation and going to a music concert in an unventilated area with 300 other people, where there’s lots yelling, singing, close contact and nobody in masks?

So we have to be the kind of person that behaves on way or the other?

I am gobsmacked at the responses you're getting. Hope it all works out.
Cherrytart23 · 17/12/2021 14:01

Stay home don't leave your house everything is to much of a risk.

Harriet1216 · 17/12/2021 14:04

Don't borrow trouble. Nothing has happened yet, you are speculating on what might happen.
I can understand that you are frustrated, but it's a case of 'wait and see.' The chances are she'll be fine.

Lockdownbear · 17/12/2021 14:04

@hamstersarse

And this is what all of this has done to people - you actually think you have a right to police whether your mum goes to a concert?

All these people in our midst who have been secretly harboring the desire to control what other people do have been handed the gift of a lifetime - they can let it all come out with some legitimacy

That in a nut shell.

Lots of controlling behaviour going on. By individuals and certain political figures too.
I don't believe all that is being said and done is for the benefit of citizens more about political flag waving.

Op I think you owe your mum an apology. We have to start living again we can't keep hiding from a virus that's here to stay.

Pippapet · 17/12/2021 14:09

YANBU.

Pippapet · 17/12/2021 14:11

@Elodeastar

Let her live her life, make her own decisions, and deal with any consequences - Covid is making too many folk think they can control what other folk do. You cannot, no matter how much you want to/think you can!
The consequences affect the rest of the family though don't they.
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