So disappointed that my mum may have risked Christmas.

[DontWantTheRivalry]

My mum and dad love hosting Christmas Day - it’s been that way for about 15 years and all the family get together and it’s been a long running family tradition. There’s usually about 10-12 people in total.

Last year both parents (but especially my mum) were really upset that the family Christmas Day couldn’t go ahead because they see the event as such an important part of our family tradition. Some family members live in a different area of the country so it’s always been a lovey opportunity to get together.

Anyhow - over the last few months my parents have been getting into the festive mood and have been really excited about being able to host Christmas Day again and we’ve all really been looking forward to it. We all bring food contributions so the work load isn’t all on my parent’s shoulders and so we’ve all been planning it together etc.

However, I spoke to my mum last night and apparently on Wednesday night she went to a concert with some of her work friends to see a local band. She said it was in a small concert hall (so no ventilation) where everyone was singing and nobody had to wear masks. She said there were about 300 people there.

I was just gobsmacked.

I asked her why she would take that risk 10 days before Christmas when she is hosting everyone and especially when three of the family members are over 70 years old (although they are generally very well for their age).

She said “I won’t catch it”
I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”

She said that as she is triple vaccinated she will be fine and that she had “been good” as she had her App turned on I felt so exasperated and told her the App doesn’t stop people picking Covid up from someone else though!

I gently told her that I thought she was mad to have taken the risk.

I’m so disappointed - not so much for all of the family because if my mum/dad did get unwell and had to isolate then the rest of us would have Christmas Dinner somewhere else (me and husband would be happy to host) but I know my mum will be devastated again if she has to miss out on our traditional family celebration.

I just don’t understand why she’d take the risk.

I spoke to my sister about it this morning and she thinks I was out of order to express how I felt or try to make our mum feel guilty, and yes, maybe I was and my intention certainly wasn’t to guilt-trip her, but I was just so shocked when she told me.

I really hope she doesn’t catch it because she’s going to be so upset if she has to miss out on Christmas Day.

I know it was my mum’s risk to take but if she gets unwell I’m still going to feel so upset for her. It will put such a dampener on Christmas Day if she can’t be a part of it with the rest of us.

I just had to vent!!

My Mum has been socialising like a loony and I think it's brilliant...it also relieved me of any guilt I may have felt for holding a small party of 20 people last night. everyone is bored to death of all of this. If we have all had our jabs and wear masks we can't do much more. we need to live our lives now.

I understand why youve posted; your mums behaviour seems unlike her given how strongly she feels about Xmas and it’s taken you by surprise. I feel like a lot of responses are coming down on you quite hard when really all you’re saying is that your mums behaviour could have been risky and it’s not like her. Sounds like she has pandemic fatigue.

@ittakes2

book her a private PCR test 5 days after she went to the event (ie day 6)

Why would you do that we are all going to get it over the next few weeks that's just asking for her to have to isolate! To be fair if my parents were positive on Xmas day I would probably still have them round. We've stopped LF testing and they have had it recently so what will be will be

I would have reacted exactly as you did, especially considing your job

You seem to be under the very strange impression that we should cut her some slack due to her age.

Sorry, but here is were we disagree.

Her behaviour is quite frankly risky and immature.

And OP is being perfectly reasonable in calling her out on it (allthough she could have been more diplomatic when doing so)

I completely understand the OP as I also have a very stubborn and obstinate mother. Problem is, when pandemic fatigue sets in (which is what is likely affecting OPs mother) you start making mistakes because you revert back to previous behavioral norms.

And at that is also exactly when you end up getting infected.

It is very important to point this out.

It is not ok. And at her age, she is till very much at risk even with the vaccine.

I really can't understand why so many people are going off at op.

Omicron is spreading like mad and her mum put herself in a risky situation. Now by saying she doesn't want any 'surprise positives' and telling people not to take LFTs it's showing that she actually doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

Op's job keeps babies alive - babies who would most likely not survive covid.

I've lost someone with covid and the apathy people are showing just because they're 'bored of it all' is disgusting.

Yeah, life goes on, but so does making sensible decisions and not being a selfish prick.

If she values xmas so much, then I agree, she’s just put herself at risk from catching covid and ending isolating at Xmas.
Of course she can go out and enjoy herself, but it depends what social event she sees as a priority and what social event she is happy to cancel or postpone.
I think she hasn’t thought it through and got carried away with emotion and excitement of going out and thinking she can’t possibly catch covid which hopefully she hasn’t but who knows.

OP, you really shouldn't come here to ask questions regarding Covid. On mumsnet, anyone can and should do what they want, when they want, regardless of how it affects others. Let it spread like wildfire, killing hundreds or even thousands a day, make the NHS unable to deal with anything but the volume of people choking to death in ICU from Covid and people will still tell you YABU and your mum can do whatever she damn well pleases. Oh and we don't need any restrictions either, because they upset them.

Oh dear, and all the responses on here saying there is no problem in what she has done, showing exactly why we will be locking down before long

Effectiveness after being triple jabbed is over 90%. Then you’d have to come in contact with it. It’s really not as risky as lots of people seem to think.

Christ almighty, woman goes about normal life a week before Xmas - shocking!

I would be furious - and very worried about spending any part of Xmas with her if she is so careless, everyone knows that age is the biggest factor in whether people who catch covid get really ill or not. I would be very worried about how foolish she is being

Your family and children are prob still going to school / nursery ,your partners prob go to work , you prob been shopping too, I think you all going to her house are more likely to be a threat to her health than her outing 🎅

@Wizzbangfizz

Christ almighty, woman goes about normal life a week before Xmas - shocking!

Shoddy behaviour. She should have been isolating from mid September.

@CoffeeMuggins

OP, you really shouldn't come here to ask questions regarding Covid. On mumsnet, anyone can and should do what they want, when they want, regardless of how it affects others. Let it spread like wildfire, killing hundreds or even thousands a day, make the NHS unable to deal with anything but the volume of people choking to death in ICU from Covid and people will still tell you YABU and your mum can do whatever she damn well pleases. Oh and we don't need any restrictions either, because they upset them.

This is hilarious to me because irl, everyone I know is far more lax than on here!

@Lifethroughlenses

Effectiveness after being triple jabbed is over 90%. Then you’d have to come in contact with it. It’s really not as risky as lots of people seem to think.

That's not 90% (where did you get this number? Been seeing more like 75+80% but if you have found out it's 90% that's great!) preventing infections. You are still very likely to catch it. Obviously if she has caught it, Christmas is a no-go.

Maybe so.

But it’s naive to think the virus would otherwise look in awe at our careful behaviour and reward us by ducking off up its own arse.

This is hilarious to me because irl, everyone I know is far more lax than on here!

Different circles, isn't it. Mine is very much not more lax or equally lax.

@Poptasmagorical

I really can't understand why so many people are going off at op.

Omicron is spreading like mad and her mum put herself in a risky situation. Now by saying she doesn't want any 'surprise positives' and telling people not to take LFTs it's showing that she actually doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

Op's job keeps babies alive - babies who would most likely not survive covid.

I've lost someone with covid and the apathy people are showing just because they're 'bored of it all' is disgusting.

Yeah, life goes on, but so does making sensible decisions and not being a selfish prick.

What you described is classic "Pandemic fatigue"

This is starting to become a major concern on the ground, as people are becoming much more cavalier about the risks.

Age is not a factor in this kind of "behavior".

The only difference is that those at older ages are at much higher risk of being hospitalised (and dying) once infected vs the younger crowd.

Oh Christ OP a lot of hard replies for you here! Probably from the “ I’ll do what I want and that’s that “mob …

Yes, it’s exasperating , as you say - her attitude “ I just won’t get it” lol. I mean, you can’t argue with that logic , can you?
You’ve registered your dismay and so’s your dad so I’d leave it ,now.
We can’t control others actions ( sadly, as it’s been shown this past year) and all you can do is ask her and east of family to LFT and hope they feel the truth…
Hope it turns out ok.

She may, sub-consciousl, have been thinking Christmas may be ruined, anyway, and that would be even worse if she had also missed out on the concert.

I'd be more concerned about her catching Covid and dying than catching Covid and missing Christmas. I think you're focussing on the wrong thing.

Adults have to be allowed to make their own choices but also have to realise that their choices may have consequences. My dad has just returned from a Turkey and Tinsel holiday with 20 residents from his retirement block. They had a wonderful time, and I'm really glad that he enjoyed it so much. They were cheerfully mixing and dancing with people from other parts of the UK . All good - but he's due to join 12 of us staying together over Christmas. The rest of us haven't been isolating but we are all being as careful as possible as we are prioritizing being together over other things. He will be coming with us but I'm praying that he won't be bringing the virus with him...I had long Covid for 9 months. It's not fun.

Effectiveness of boosters on Omicrom variant needs to be separated into:

1. Symptomatic infection

Boosters (Pfizer): 71%
Moderna (no data): but likely > 71% as Moderna delivers more mRNA vaccine per dose (factor of 3)

1. Hospitalisation/Serious Illness

These are still estimates. There is not enough data to determime this with reasonable credibility.

Pfizer (80-90%)
Moderna: Pfizer + a bit extra

Honestly..... my take on this is that your Mum is not as bothered about hosting Christmas as you think she is. She prioritised another event over Christmas imo.