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Original poster

Is there a non-awkward way of asking people to do a lateral flow test before mixing?!

147 replies

Twothousandzerozero · 07/12/2021 00:54

We’re going to stay with some extended family over Christmas and I’m wondering if it will make things awkward if I ask them to do LFTs before we arrive!?

DH and I test regularly for work, but I know some of these family members aren’t really in the habit of doing it. Is there a nice, non-pushy way of broaching this subject with them? How are others going about this?!

OP posts:
Wildrobin · 07/12/2021 00:59

I wouldn’t overthink it, to me it’s not an unreasonable ask and I’ve never minded personally been when asked to test before something .

GreenLunchBox · 07/12/2021 01:03

Agreed. I wouldn't feel awkward about asking at all

Hairyfriend · 07/12/2021 01:20

No harm is asking, especially with Omnicron here.

I do, however, worry about the validity of LFTs. I work in an area related to testing and speak to people daily who were negative on an LFT, but positive in PCR! They often think its a cold/hayfever and generally only do a PCR if they have a close contact. I'm not saying LFT's are pointless, but possibly not as accurate with new strains.

PrayingForChristmas · 07/12/2021 01:26

LFT’s arent as reliable but i will be asking people to test before meeting up

Its sad that we have to ask, why dont people just think ‘Ooh, im meeting up with people indoors, i will do a test’

gsaoej · 07/12/2021 01:28

I don’t see the problem with asking them directly. It’s perfectly reasonable.

Original poster
Twothousandzerozero · 07/12/2021 01:49

This has reassured me that I’m not going to make an idiot of myself by asking, thank you! I haven’t really heard of anyone specifically requesting that others test, so I was wondering if it might be viewed as a bit pushy or neurotic. But like @PrayingForChristmas says, at this point, surely it’s good manners to just do one without being asked!

OP posts:
TenoringBehind · 07/12/2021 06:34

Just ask straight out. It’s the norm in my social circle. Some people then do them, some nod and don’t do them. No need to feel awkward.

QuentininQuarantino · 07/12/2021 07:14

I’d phrase it as “let’s all do LFTs beforehand, shall we?” Or “we always test before mixing now, could you do one too?” than “please can you do an LFT beforehand.” But I don’t think it’s an unreasonable ask at all.

somehowsunshine · 07/12/2021 07:17

@PrayingForChristmas

LFT’s arent as reliable but i will be asking people to test before meeting up

Its sad that we have to ask, why dont people just think ‘Ooh, im meeting up with people indoors, i will do a test’

According to bbc, they are 80% effective at detecting covid.
PAFMO · 07/12/2021 07:19

I wouldn't worry, especially if it's people you are close to.
"I'm sure none of us want to put ourselves or anyone else at risk when we get together, so let's do an LFT shall we?"

Stuffin · 07/12/2021 07:19

You can ask but you can't expect them to do it.

Are you going to ask to see the results because unless you were an old unhealthy relative I wouldn't do one and would suggest to you if you were that worried you might want to consider not mingling instead.

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/12/2021 07:21

I've been to two gatherings where we were asked to fo an lft beforehand. It's a perfectly reasonable request and I felt safer going because of it.

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/12/2021 07:22

@Stuffin

You can ask but you can't expect them to do it.

Are you going to ask to see the results because unless you were an old unhealthy relative I wouldn't do one and would suggest to you if you were that worried you might want to consider not mingling instead.

As the host, then I would ask you not to come.
rrhuth · 07/12/2021 07:27

@Stuffin

You can ask but you can't expect them to do it.

Are you going to ask to see the results because unless you were an old unhealthy relative I wouldn't do one and would suggest to you if you were that worried you might want to consider not mingling instead.

At least by asking I guess it allows people to weed out the arses from their social circle.

I can't understand why you'd refuse to test.

SinoohXaenaHide · 07/12/2021 07:31

If you can be sure that everyone will already have boxes of tests, then putting something on the family whatsapp on the evening before saying "happy to report negative LFTs from us so no last-minute panic from us. Hopefully all the rest of you likewise?!"

Stuffin · 07/12/2021 07:32

As the host, then I would ask you not to come.

The OP sounds to me like they are the guest not the host.

SellFridges · 07/12/2021 07:33

This is normal in our circle. Slightly less so amongst family but we are the higher risk there (kids in school when others are all at home or retired and not going anywhere much) so we still do them because that’s the right thing to do.

6 year old whinged at the weekend as we’ve been busy so he had to do three 😂

TintagliaRises · 07/12/2021 07:33

Totally fine. I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Just ask.

SellFridges · 07/12/2021 07:34

Not three in a weekend, but the last week

IgneousRock · 07/12/2021 07:37

Many people are testing regularly now (for work or whatever) and don't see it as a big deal, but remember that others aren't. My FIL was in hospital recently for a planned operation, he had to do a PCR before he went in but MIL wasn't asked to do a test before visiting him and she was quite taken aback when DH made her do one. It was the first test she's done and it genuinely hadn't occurred to her.

Not saying you shouldn't ask people OP, just saying it may not be obvious to everyone as some of the posters above are suggesting.

Stuffin · 07/12/2021 07:37

Someone asked why I wouldn't.

I don't have symptoms. I am hosting in my home. I don't want to test just for the sake of someone feeling better. It's an LFT not a PCR and no I don't want to test to have someone in my home when I know the risks of covid. If they feel like a LFT is what they need to feel safe then I would suggest that mingling in my home is probably not worth it to them.

And before anyone moans I am soon to be boosted so I think that is enough for me.

Abraxan · 07/12/2021 07:39

We automatically do an lft if about to mix with a number of people, plus do them a couple of days after too. I do the, for work anyway. Dh is much more relaxed but does them for mixing with others or if seeing more vulnerable people. As does 19y Dd.

I'm not 'unhealthy' but I am CV. Covid put me in hospital and I'll be on medication for life as a result. So yes, we tend to take a bit more care, especially regarding other people's health.

Peaseblossum22 · 07/12/2021 07:42

I don’t think it’s awkward , seems to be completely routine and accepted now. We were out for dinner a couple of weeks ago i someone’s home , all did LFTs , my book group meets this week and we will all do LFTs before etc

rrhuth · 07/12/2021 07:45

@Stuffin

Someone asked why I wouldn't.

I don't have symptoms. I am hosting in my home. I don't want to test just for the sake of someone feeling better. It's an LFT not a PCR and no I don't want to test to have someone in my home when I know the risks of covid. If they feel like a LFT is what they need to feel safe then I would suggest that mingling in my home is probably not worth it to them.

And before anyone moans I am soon to be boosted so I think that is enough for me.

Oh there's nothing to say to boneheaded views like this!

'I don't have symptoms' Biscuit

Stuffin · 07/12/2021 07:49

Oh there's nothing to say to boneheaded views like this!

You can get personal all you like but I don't believe in testing all the time when you meet someone inside. Yes some people do and need that security but personally I don't want to test to have people over to my house. It's call a difference of opinion.