Needle phobic teen won’t get vax, i’m just finishing chemo

[Notallowedtobeanxious]

I’ve NC for this. I hope I get understanding answers and if you’re an antivaxxer please don’t bother responding.

I have no immune system because of medical treatment. I’m triple vaccinated but it’s highly unlikely to make any difference as what’s left of my immune system won’t react.

My OH works in emergency medicine so comes into contact with covid patients often but is in full PPE so as safe as anyone can be really.

Our 14 year old is needle phobic and refusing to get the vaccine. We have tried talking to them about it, we’ve visited a vaccination centre to show them the procedure and to see others getting it and how they’re all fine and still they refuse.

If I was in good health I’d take the risk and leave them unvaccinated until they were in a better position to cope but I’m not in good health & im terrified.

I know as a parent I should be more mindful of my child’s anxiety but I really wish my family would be mindful of mine. My child worries about an injection lasting one second, I’m worried about dying and leaving my kids without a mother, something I was beginning to believe was less likely thanks to my treatment success so far.

I’m too weak to cope with any kind of infection right now. We don’t live in a house big enough that we can live separately or even for us to isolate individually. I’m terrified but I’m chastised by the rest of my family for trying to speak to my child about it and ask them if we can find a way they may consider getting it done. They’re not antivax, they’d have it if it was delivered any other way.

I feel like an awful parent.

liveforsummer

*Sorry, don’t understand what you mean. They’ve had no vaccinations at all?
*
She said should be ok from her baby ones so she's had those. It's there in the sentence you quoted. OP was replying to the poster who was asking about teen vaccines“

Ah, ok, see that now. Had misunderstood way OP had put it. Need coffee.

I agree with PP who said no socialising outside school, no clubs etc

They are making a decision that could have devastating consequences and they need to take responsibility for that decision and minimise the risk to you

You poor thing. What a worry to have. This pandemic has really highlighted the selfishness of some people, including people we love. Your family are being so so thoughtless and unkind. I think you are completely in the right and no matter what you decide to do or say, it will be less bad than what they are saying now. My mum had cancer years ago now, and I was so worried about her catching simple infections, if she had it during Covid it would have been so much more scary. I really feel for you about the very valid concern of the vaccines not doing the job as well when your immune system is shot. I honestly am not even sure what I would do in this case as you want your family around for the most part during treatment when you are feeling rubbish I’m sure. I agree with the blunt talk suggested above, it’s not mean it’s the reality of the situation. If that does not work, you would be well within your rights if you wanted to go push further precautions such as distancing and mask wearing around you in the house. Maybe the annoyance of that might encourage them to get it. I literally am at a loss that they won’t just get it for their mum!!

Tell them being death phobic trumps needle phobic. Tell them they have to live with their dad. They are being in red selfish

She should stop going to school and learn remotely instead.

I am not phobic or a part to know how to deal with its this. I was struck by something from your first post. I am not saying I agree with it it is rational.

Your OH frequency comes into contact with Covid yes with full PPE. Does your 14 year old feel that she is being bullied/persuaded (I’m not saying she is) into therapy and vaccines when just a failure of PPE could bring Covid home,lol. no one saying OH should be finding another safer job so can be less of a risk. (She may know not practical to just become unemployed but wonder why is OH not looking for a new job)

Should be no lol in there. My bad typing

My daughter is autistic and needle phobic.

She knows I only ever ask her to endure needles if it's potentially life or death. We have a frank and open discussion and I say that I'm asking her because it's very serious but ultimately it's her choice because this is her body not mine.

We had this when she was rushed into hospital with abdominal pain and the doctor needed to put in a cannula. And again for the covid vaccine.

I am in group four that was the shielding group. She is a teen and mixing so it was really important she was vaccinated.

I bought the sterile lancets used for pin prick tests so she could feel what it was like and prick her skin safely herself after using alcohol wipes.

We did what you have done, walked by the medical centre, explained her situation to the staff, did visualisation and relaxation. It was extremely fast. We were in and out within 7 minutes and they kindly let her sit outside on a chair for 15 mins because being inside triggered her.

Ours was arranged with our GP which was better and smaller than a vaccination centre.

I did tell her the risks of her not having the vaccine. Rightly or wrongly I wanted to help her make an informed decision. My case was in no way as severe as yours but I would be likely to require hospitalisation should I get covid.

It's worth adding that my youngest son did catch covid but isolated in his room as soon as he suspected. He wore a high protection N98 mask when he left his room and no one else caught covid from him. He's now vaccinated as it's been rolled out to younger teens.

It's a difficult situation. Personally I would tell him the possible consequences and your fears. Tell him you only ask this of him as you want the best chance. And try to get your GP surgery to do this first appointment so you can be in and out in a few minutes.

A very difficult situation, best wishes.

Who else have you got to back you up? Sometimes it helps if it comes from someone else. Get another adult to take the pressure off you and talk to your son. It's for everyone's benefit. A relative or one of his friends parents? You've got enough on your plate and someone else needs to step in and resolve this. Good luck.