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Am I going to die :(

698 replies

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 08/10/2021 21:43

My husband has just had a positive LFT.

I’m absolutely petrified. I’m extremely obese with a BMI of 40.

I am fully vaccinated but I have had two different vaccines. 1 AZ and 1 Pfizer.

I feel physically sick with worry. 😓

OP posts:
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6
NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/10/2021 16:12

[quote Iwannabelikeyouohh]@NeverDropYourMooncup

So the fact that I’m untreated, does this put me at greater risk.

I’m under a rheumatologist already.[/quote]
Not really - it's a balancing act with the meds as to whether they depress your immune system too much, not enough or just right so that you have the immune response of a 'normal' person, so it's hard to say yes or no. At the same time as their potentially reducing resistance to infection, some of the medications have actually been used to treat severe Covid, too. That's how impossible it is to conclude you're at higher risk with or without them.

Having no specialist involvement at all is more of an indicator of risk, as then you just don't know if you've got a comorbidity of an increased risk of cardiovascular events or an excessive immune response - but you aren't untreated as you're seeing Rheumatology, you're just not taking DMARD or Biologic medication (because of anxiety about the side effects, pregnancy or because it's not been active enough to warrant it?)

I do wonder whether your difficulties are signs of you going into a flare - as I said, it's a known thing that inflammation can affect mood independently of obvious physical manifestations such as joint swelling, tendon pain or plaque formation. In the days before starting Cosentyx, I could tell that I needed another shot of steroid, as it was the only time I felt tearful and emotional - and it would happen weeks before anything physical started showing. One im shot of steroid later and I was fine again by teatime.

It's very common to flare after having a baby, as pregnancy lowers your immune system to accommodate the 'alien' material that is the fetus with their father's share of the DNA, and then once you've given birth, it starts revving up to its normal speed again.

So I've got a practical suggestion for you - on Monday, contact Rheumatology to let them know you seem to be having a flare - if you've had recent bloods, they'll look those up, if not, they might ask you to get some done or give you an appointment to see the Nurse. If they do, perhaps ask whether it's possible to have a steroid shot to tide you over - if you've got symptoms of Covid, obviously you can't do it straight away, but if the appointment is in a fortnight or DH's PCR is negative (still a possibility), all you'll have to do at most is continue to be careful for 14 days after that jab and then you're back to normal life.

I was given a steroid shot at the end of December to top up on the Cosentyx as it hadn't taken full effect yet, but I was wfh for the next fortnight, which meant I didn't need to do anything differently. Which I didn't.

Honestly, you're looking for things to justify it being worse, not better and whilst I can't recommend getting Covid as a pastime, you are

a) vaccinated
b) young
c) in October 2021, not March 2020

I'd seriously bet money that if you do get it, you'll feel a bit crap for a few days and then you'll be fine. And that if you go back to Rheumatology, you'll find that you're in a flare and if you start medication for it, you'll look back in a few months and think 'Wow, I really wasn't well before starting this, was I?'.

alreadytaken · 09/10/2021 17:35

Havent read all the comments - just yours. I hope someone has already said it but when you're anxious it bears repeating - 2 different vaccines have been shown to give a better immune response.

You'll feel less anxious if you feel you have some control - so if you have vitamin D tablets start taking them, if not order some in. You need them between October and March. Anxiety can be made worse by magnesium deficiency, even if trying to lose weight a few squares of dark chocolate may help you. Or get magnesium sulphate (epsom salts) and soak in the bath for 15 minutes then pat dry.

icecreamcrackers · 09/10/2021 18:17

I couldn't read this and run. Hope my experience helps you as I have a BMI of 45 and currently locked up at home with covid. (Double jabbed)

I just want to let you know that illness wise all I've had is a snotty nose and ear ache. I've lost my sense if smell and although can still taste food my mouth tastes funny. Just because we are larger people doesnt mean it's going to be horrendous x

If you are worried though please get a pcr so you know either way. I did lateral flows daily as next doors son tested positive in my house last friday and my son tuesday, all my lateral flows showed negitive until today but pcr came back positive.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 09/10/2021 19:00

I think it’s really unfair to blame him for bringing it home when you are eating out, planning holidays, going to work and have a child in nursery.

Bewareoftheblob · 09/10/2021 19:17

On the plus side, if you get it and survive then you don't need to be anxious any more.

Wroxie · 09/10/2021 19:43

It's not actually proven that fat people are more likely to be hospitalised with Covid. The statistics may say something like "66% of people who are hospitalised with covid are overweight or obese" or whatever, but forget to mention that about 65% of adults- all adults- are overweight or obese. The demographics of the covid ward match the demographics of the country.

If you don't have other co-morbidities like asthma or a weakened immune system you shouldn't worry. Even if you do catch it and feel like shit for a couple of weeks, statistically, you are exceedingly unlikely to die.

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 09/10/2021 21:00

Omg today has been so so hard.

I haven’t had DH there to help out with DS.
He’s just been sat in a different room. He decided to sit and watch Netflix on his work xomouter

DS is teething and has 4 molars cutting. He’s so irritable and throwing major tantrums.

I’m so used to DH being there to lend a hand or give me a little break.

I can’t believe how hard I’ve found it and I have another 10 days of this.

Single mums absolute rock. It’s so hard doing it alone.

OP posts:
LIZS · 09/10/2021 21:10

But that is your choice. Does your ds not nap? So you could go out for a break while he listens for him or you take him to park or for a walk and to nursery. You can carry on as usual and it is for 10 days from his symptoms even if positive today. Did the pcr result come back yet?

AntimonySalts · 09/10/2021 21:30

@Bewareoftheblob

On the plus side, if you get it and survive then you don't need to be anxious any more.
But she will be, as her anxiety has just settled on Covid. Once that has gone, it will fixate on something else. There really are ways to get help with this, OP - different types of help work for different people, so don't assume that because something hasn't worked for you, nothing would.

And in the nicest possible way, OP, there are millions of SAHPs who look after their children all day while their OH is at work - it's not just the remit of single mothers (I have been both). When my DC were that sort of age, I was looking after them all day every day, with the occasional day out as a family. So were most of my friends - and we all had multiple children. It sounds as if you're a bit too reliant on your DH (again, there are ways for you to learn to cope with this) whilst at the same time being angry with him and blaming him for Covid. Both of these are quite hard on him. If my XH had been ill, he'd have taken himself off to bed or taken his work to bed with him (if well enough to work) and I'd have just carried on doing what I normally did, namely look after the DC.

Isabellabasil · 09/10/2021 21:40

I don't get your last post, surely your husband is at work during the day (you mentioned his 'work computer") so why is this any different? Also he is doing the right thing avoiding you if you are so worried about catching it.

I hope you stay well but truly OP your health anxiety is doing you more harm than covid would. Please get help!

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 09/10/2021 21:41

@AntimonySalts

And in the nicest possible way, OP, there are millions of SAHPs who look after their children all day while their OH is at work - it's not just the remit of single mothers (I have been both).

Of course. Sorry I shouldn’t have said just single mums.

I guess what I meant is that even SAHP’s get some support when their partners come home from work.

I only work part time, DH works full time so on my days off I’m home with DS.
I find that fine as I know at 5pm DH comes home and he helps out.

Today I haven’t had that at all. DS napped for 1.5 hours in the cot but during that time I cleaned so I didn’t really get much time to sit down and DH has been locked away all day so hasn’t helped out.

OP posts:
DivorceAdvicePlease123 · 09/10/2021 21:41

Chin up mate, I bet you'll be sound x

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 09/10/2021 21:43

@LIZS

But that is your choice. Does your ds not nap? So you could go out for a break while he listens for him or you take him to park or for a walk and to nursery. You can carry on as usual and it is for 10 days from his symptoms even if positive today. Did the pcr result come back yet?
@LIZS

Yes he naps, but DH wants to stay away from DS as much as possible and since he’s teething his naps have been a bit broken.
I didn’t want to go out Incase he woke up.

I used nap time to clean and get on top of a few jobs around the house.

OP posts:
Isabellabasil · 09/10/2021 21:43

My husband never even sees the kids in the week, he works 8am-8.30pm, or 8pm-8.30am when on night shifts..and lots of weekends too. Its exhausting isn't it x

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 09/10/2021 21:44

@Isabellabasil

I don't get your last post, surely your husband is at work during the day (you mentioned his 'work computer") so why is this any different? Also he is doing the right thing avoiding you if you are so worried about catching it.

I hope you stay well but truly OP your health anxiety is doing you more harm than covid would. Please get help!

@Isabellabasil

He does, but as mentioned above he’s home at 5 and he helps out. Today it has just been me.
No help. I’ve found it tough.

Also I am getting help. But thanks for your advice :)

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 09/10/2021 21:44

Today I haven’t had that at all. DS napped for 1.5 hours in the cot but during that time I cleaned so I didn’t really get much time to sit down and DH has been locked away all day so hasn’t helped out.

But he’s been in the house in case of an emergency. Presumably you’ll talk to him at don’t point today? I’d just stop digging. The issue with being a solo parent is more than just looking after your child all day. It’s the crushing weight of all the responsibility due absolutely everything all the time.

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 09/10/2021 21:49

@PurpleDaisies

Woah, okay…. well I wasn’t trying to be rude or dig in anyway, at all.
I was actually complimenting single parents on how well they do alone (my friend is a single parent and I know how tough it is for her)

Yes DH has been here, but just been in the house isn’t the same as having him here to help out.
DS is struggling with his teeth so much and has been super clingy today. I haven’t even been able to go to the loo alone, where usually DH would manage to entertain him for me (at weekends / evenings)

OP posts:
LIZS · 09/10/2021 21:55

Would mil take ds out to give you a break?

StarryNight04 · 09/10/2021 21:57

I think you should be proud of how far you've come dealing with your anxiety so far op (I remember some of your previous posts). It sounds like you're facing your ultimate fear now, keep using your worry diary and techniques you've been taught & you'll get through this Thanks

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 09/10/2021 22:07

@LIZS

Would mil take ds out to give you a break?
@LIZS

I’ve never asked her. Only as she has quite severe COPD and I don’t think she would manage with a toddlers.
Also she’s now awaiting her own PCR result.
We saw her Tuesday, she was full of cold.
She’s decided to go for a test now.

I’m going to meet my mum for a walk tomorrow, I may sit and have a coffee whilst my mum takes DS on the swings… 😆

OP posts:
Isabellabasil · 09/10/2021 22:14

Good luck! You can do it. You will be fine

saraclara · 09/10/2021 22:21

I have weekly sessions with my psychologist.
I do find it helps and there’s lots of times I’m able to rationalise.
Like taking my son out, pushing myself out to the carvery or toddler groups.

You should be proud of yourself. Many people with severe health anxiety wouldn't be able to manage those things. You've done really well, so focus on that if you can.

The risk of double-vaccinated people ending up in hospital is very low. And you're young and have no risk factors other than your weight. I get that the panic is very very hard for you to control. But try to remind yourself of these things.

Iwannabelikeyouohh · 09/10/2021 23:04

I thought I was doing okay and I’ve just had the biggest panic attack. 😞😞

I was sat watching TV when my heart began to pound. I was shaking and sweating and literally couldn’t catch my breath.

Had to run upstairs to DH who has now hugged me to calm me down (he had two masks on) 🙁😩😩

I’m so scared. I can’t believe the --fucking plague-- Covid is finally in my home.

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 09/10/2021 23:16

I can't quite believe what I'm reading. You think you're going to get covid and die and keep saying how tough it is looking after your child without your husband's help.

Meanwhile, your husband actually has covid so he's not coming in useful Confused

GreyhoundG1rl · 09/10/2021 23:23

@butterpuffed

I can't quite believe what I'm reading. You think you're going to get covid and die and keep saying how tough it is looking after your child without your husband's help.

Meanwhile, your husband actually has covid so he's not coming in useful Confused

Yep. The poor sod who's actually got it is not getting a look in in the "woe is me" stakes.
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