Am I going to die :(

[Iwannabelikeyouohh]

My husband has just had a positive LFT.

I’m absolutely petrified. I’m extremely obese with a BMI of 40.

I am fully vaccinated but I have had two different vaccines. 1 AZ and 1 Pfizer.

I feel physically sick with worry. 😓

OP, have you talked to your mental health team at all? Not saying you should stop posting, but they will have a good handle on how to help stop the repetitive and circular thoughts that are undermining you right now.

In the meantime, you will get through this. Tell your husband he's staying upstairs, and let him watch shows on a tablet (you can buy a cheap tablet on Amazon if you need to). Take care of yourself, give yourself a break, and make sure you have a conversation with a professional who can help you build some coping mechanisms.

@emlouwat

OP. Have you been shopping etc over the course of the pandemic? When my dp became unwell with covid I accepted that it was highly likely to also get it. I did and had very little more than a temp for two days and loss of smell and taste.

On learning that he had covid I did panic a bit but then reminded myself that I could pick it up at the supermarket. Try and think rationally about this. The virus is amongst us in the community but please look at the volume of people who have had it and have not died or been hospitalised.

@emlouwat

No, I only started going into supermarkets around May/June of this year.

I had to go back to work (end of mat leave) in March.
I have to work in an office and that’s hard enough.

It’s all distanced at work, ventilation, cleaning and masks (even now)

I have started taking my son to a toddler group, we started off with an agility type class which I didn’t like as no one wore masks and there was no distancing.
We’ve switched now to a music class. All the adults are sat apart on the floor and the children sit with their parents and we do songs / musical instruments.

My son does wonder off but I accept that. He’s at nursery and I can’t control what he does there.
Unless of course I quit my job and keep him at home (which I did consider) but I can’t and I won’t do that to him.
I want him to have a normal life and not be fearful.

@Nancydrawn

OP, have you talked to your mental health team at all? Not saying you should stop posting, but they will have a good handle on how to help stop the repetitive and circular thoughts that are undermining you right now.

In the meantime, you will get through this. Tell your husband he's staying upstairs, and let him watch shows on a tablet (you can buy a cheap tablet on Amazon if you need to). Take care of yourself, give yourself a break, and make sure you have a conversation with a professional who can help you build some coping mechanisms.

@Nancydrawn

I see a psychologist every week, they are secondary mental health care.

I was referred after I took myself to A&E, i literally begged them to section me.
I was seen by the crisis team but told I wasn’t “severe” enough to need the support of the crisis team.

I also contact the crisis help line several times too.

I have weekly sessions with my psychologist.
I do find it helps and there’s lots of times I’m able to rationalise.
Like taking my son out, pushing myself out to the carvery or toddler groups.

But it’s feels so much different now I know Covid is actually in my home.

You don't know though. Until the pcr confirms or not. Call your support team. You may have had it previously and not known, maybe you or dc gave it to dh? The point is it is prevalent and passed around unwittingly. Were you driving yourself on your trip? Most check outs are contactless.

@LIZS

It would be very unlikely that two positive LFT’s were wrong. I’ve taken one and I did one on my son. Both negative.

DH was going to drive, his car is bigger than mine so we can fit more stuff in.
I’m not insured to drive his car though as it’s a company car.
I’d have to take my own car. Wouldn’t be too much of an issue though, it’s still a decent size.

I know I sound crazy, but part of me just thinks, maybe I should stay and home and catch Covid from my husband.

I don’t want it, I really don’t, but I hate living with this fear and avoidance.
It’s like the fun and excitement has been sucked from my life :( :(

DH is upstairs now, I’ve cleaned everything downstairs.
He did come down to put a load of washing on, but he wore two masks, the backdoor and all
of the windows were open.

Me and DS are in thick jumpers today. It’s freezing!

Lfts can be wrong, or at least show positive due to a spectrum of viruses. Doctors on Breakfast tv discussed it earlier. PCR is the important one. Your anxiety is making you catastrophise. What coping mechanisms have your therapists suggested?

@LIZS

They suggested worry time, a worry diary, guided relaxation.

And have you tried those?

My bmi is 52 - I had covid before the vaccines and frankly the cold I had two weeks ago was worse.

You’ll almost certainly be ok. The biggest risk factor is age

Your dh should stay upstairs and use separate bathroom. Keep all windows open. Leave food for him at the bedroom door. We did this with my son 3 weeks ago and it worked - we didn't catch Covid. Good luck!

@LIZS

Yes, I have.

The worry diary helps. I wrote my worries down, and decide if they’re practical or hypothetical.

I wrote down my evidence for & against my thoughts.

I’m not a massive fan of the worry time.
I find that when I’m worrying I like to address them
then, rather than come back to it later.

I just can’t seem to focus when it comes to Covid worries.
I’m still in the scary mindset of March 2020 and I can’t get past the fear of Covid = Death.

@thelastgoldeneagle

Your dh should stay upstairs and use separate bathroom. Keep all windows open. Leave food for him at the bedroom door. We did this with my son 3 weeks ago and it worked - we didn't catch Covid. Good luck!

@thelastgoldeneagle

We only have one bathroom.

Also if he’s contagious for 2 days before any symptoms start, then I’ve already been exposed.
We share a bedroom, kiss, hug etc.

I kissed him yesterday afternoon. He didn’t do the test until last night.

Yes I did, He’s stopped wearing his mask and he hardly ever washes his hands. We went to the carvery last week, he stood in a massive queue, touched all of the handles of the food after everyone then didn’t even gel his hands. When I told him to, he said he’s getting on with his life….
He’s put me at risk and our son

The only certain thing you can do is get vaxxed. Masks don’t work (unless you are wearing N95s which I doubt) and you can’t get it via surfaces.

So don’t blame your husband or act as if it’s a moral issue. There’s very little you can do to protect yourself beyond getting vaxxed

Op, have you heard of how inaccurate many of the flow tests are? You need to wait for the results from the PCR test.
I do understand the worry - my daughter tested positive for covid on Saturday. She had a runny nose for one day and I only tested due to many kids in her class having it. That was her ONLY symptom- a runny nose. She’s 100% fine. I know covid is scary (and media certainly has not helped), but you need to calm down. I say that as someone who was scared of catching covid and is now covid positive.
I’ve had pneumonia twice in my life and been hospitalised both times. I’ve got a cold now and I am tired, but everything else is fine. We also have two other people living in the house who are negative - we haven’t been good with ventilation, we haven’t separated ourselves either. You might not even catch it if he is positive and I’m sure your child will be fine. Please please try to stay calm.

OP, I am really sorry about your PND. I am surprised that the Crisis team didn't regard it as needing their input. It sounds as if you're not currently receiving the help that you actually require, given that you are so anxious about this.

I do think you should return to your GP and ask, again, for help. You're doing your best to protect your son from your anxiety in some ways, but small children need to be doing all the things that small children do - which, unfortunately, involves them touching things and sharing things and so on (I have a phobia about norovirus, so I have had to find ways to cope with this over the years - now the children are late teens, I can far more easily tell them that I have an irrational fear of vomit).

You absolutely mustn't blame your husband for "bringing Covid home" because he's not taking it seriously enough. That is disordered thinking. Covid - or our reactions to it - has proven to be a problem for many relationships - though it's not actually Covid that's really the problem in most cases: it's a MH issue which has fixated on Covid. MH issues put a lot of pressure on relationships, but I would say that you both have to acknowledge that this is what's going on, and your DH has to find ways to support you which don't involve him being pulled into him essentially being controlled by your anxiety.

On a practical level, you've had two vaccinations and you're young. It's also entirely possible that you've already had a mild dose of Covid and have not even been aware of it!

I've known friends who've shared a bathroom and Covid hasn't spread. If you keep the bathroom windows open and leave it a while after your h has been in, you will be fine.

Antiviral wipes are your friend!

I have been really worried about Covid but as soon as my son got it I felt more relaxed - we've been on high alert for 18 months, and once he had it it was like, 'ah. Right. It's not so bad. We can deal with it.' And we did. Wishing you the same!

[quote Iwannabelikeyouohh]@Nidan2Sandan

I’m sorry my posts have bothered you. I was just looking for some support.

Also, I’m not over weight. Im morbidly obese.
There is a difference and the difference will ultimately effect Covid severity.
That’s a fact.[/quote]
Morbid obesity can potentially affect the people who are already seriously unwell with Covid. Because of the extra weight on their chest, they need to be proned earlier than somebody lighter who has exactly the same severity of infection. And because morbid obesity is more common in people who have underlying conditions that make them higher risk of becoming seriously unwell - like Type II Diabetes, heart disease, blood clots or autoimmune diseases - and they are likely to be more unfit in terms of aerobic fitness/VO2 max.

Do you have Type II Diabetes? Do you have heart disease already? Have you already had thromboses? Do you have asthma, untreated autoimmune disease or obstructive sleep apnoea?

If not, even in the most severe cases of Covid where you do need help with breathing, you are still at a hugely lower risk of death than a slim and fit person in their 70s.

What I did during my infection was go to sleep at night hugging a firm pillow and put one behind me so that if I rolled over, I'd be on my side rather than laying on my back. That helped. I'm still here, after all.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I do have psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.
That’s autoimmune. I’m not on any medication for either of those.

[quote Iwannabelikeyouohh]@NeverDropYourMooncup

I do have psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.
That’s autoimmune. I’m not on any medication for either of those.[/quote]
Oh, that's exactly what I've got - I was on Humira and regular steroid injections at the time of having Covid (and with a BMI of about 42 at the time, IIRC). I'm also a bit older than you - 47 when I caught it.

Still here!

I would suggest that you request a referral to Rheumatology, though, as the difference in my life, including losing all the emotional effects of uncontrolled inflammation - it's a known thing - since going onto Cosentyx - is incredible. It's quite nice to not limp around looking decidedly motheaten from scalp involvement, too.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

So the fact that I’m untreated, does this put me at greater risk.

I’m under a rheumatologist already.

@Gardenlass

But I am at great risk because of my size This might have been true before the vaccination programme, but it certainly isn't the case now. Double vaccinated people are unlikely to become seriously ill, and there are treatments now which weren't available at the beginning of the pandemic. You are worrying over something which is extremely unlikely to happen.

This wasn't even true before the op was vaccinated. In her mid 30s even if she was morbidly obese, her risk of dying of Covid was still very very small. It was just higher than for a mid 30s woman who was not morbidly obese

Op please try not to worry and I say that as a morbidly obese 57 year old !!!
Do you have any other factors that put you at higher risk ? If not I really would not worry too much especially as you have been vaccinated. Mixing vaccines has been tested and doesn't seem to pose any major problems.compared to having two of the same vaccine

@bumblingbovine49

Do you have any other factors that put you at higher risk ?

Well I didn’t think I did, but now I’m not sure.

I have psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.

My consultant said the condition itself wasn’t a risk factor, just the medication, which I aren’t on any.

@thebestnamesweregone

I'm a nurse that's negative!

That's quite worrying, because you're wrong.