Has anyone else pulled back/ended friendships with unvaccinated friends?

[mowly77]

This feels right to me but I’m not sure how she’s going to take it, & wondered if anyone else had similar experiences? I’m fully vaccinated; but antibody test tells me I’ve had covid in last 6 months. I’m ill a lot - crappy immune system. Really sick this last week, rivers of snot, endless coughing. My DD is at nursery & had milder version first. I get everything she gets. Could be covid again; could not be. Either way I’m bloody ill & self employed so lost loads of money. Fed up of being ill all the time.

Recent friendship with someone & we’ve been working on my allotment together. She’s a bit lonely, single mum, now wants to be my BFF & invited me & DD to her DS birthday (big) party in a few weeks - indoors. She’s cheerfully told me she’s unvaccinated. Didn’t really sink in before. I’ve been in her car; she’s been round for a cuppa a few times.

Now I’m fretting; plus thinking how idiotically selfish she is. I’m going to tell her no more indoor stuff, no birthday party. Outdoor allotment socially distanced is fine.

This winter is going to be a car crash & I don’t have any more truck with it. I know I’m not BU but it still feels like a delicate line.

[quote Peteycat]@Oldfestivalgoer

Firstly, why the silly face?

Secondly, no it's nonsense. She doesn't 'begrudge' people, how very good of her. Why is it 'precisely' why everyone who can, should? On what basis? Because some have had a reaction? It makes no sense.[/quote]
@peteycat You are being deliberately obtuse. Ffs. I don’t really care what you think about my posts tbh.

It’s obvious what I meant. There are people who can’t be vaccinated for medical reasons. Everyone else should get them done. Unless you want perpetual quarantines whilst the virus continues to mutate into more dangerous strains. And more people to die than necessary.

No, it's never crossed my mind to as I couldn't give a flying fuck what others do in regards to getting vaccinated.

but there is plenty of evidence

But maybe not just yet enough for those people... honestly everybody is different, everybody comes to that place at their own pace, maybe another month, maybe another 6 months, maybe never, but it’s their choice.

There are many decisions that people make that have an adverse effect on healthcare provision, smoking, eating crap, drinking too much... and yes, not wanting to be vaccinated. But to lump all these people together and call them selfish idiots and ‘unfriend’ them? Really???

‘Bodily autonomy’

I can honestly say that the only people I hear using that phrase are those at rallies holding signs saying freedom.

With rights come responsibilities.

What makes you think that the government isn’t informing people about the vaccine?

@Itsnotover

" You are being deliberately obtuse. Ffs. I don’t really care what you think about my posts tbh.

It’s obvious what I meant. There are people who can’t be vaccinated for medical reasons. Everyone else should get them done. Unless you want perpetual quarantines whilst the virus continues to mutate into more dangerous strains. And more people to die than necessary"

So, you know for sure about mutations, you know for sure there will be quarantines? Do you have a link to your statement?

"20:21Itsnotover

‘Bodily autonomy’

I can honestly say that the only people I hear using that phrase are those at rallies holding signs saying freedom.

With rights come responsibilities.

What makes you think that the government isn’t informing people about the vaccine?"

Really? Only people at rallies? Why do you go to rallies? If not, how do you know? It's ridiculous, of course people talk about bodily autonomy it covers a multitude of topics related to health etc.

So, you know for sure about mutations, you know for sure there will be quarantines? Do you have a link to your statement?

The experts have said that the longer the virus is getting transmitted, the more strains will develop and that they would be more dangerous because that’s what viruses do.

Personally, I choose to believe what the scientists say because I’m not so paranoid that I think there’s an ulterior motive for spending so much money on mass vaccination programmes throughout the world.

Why do you go to rallies? If not, how do you know?

Because I have the misfortune to know a few people who use this phrase in RL. And they all go to rallies.

"The experts have said that the longer the virus is getting transmitted, the more strains will develop and that they would be more dangerous because that’s what viruses do"

They have opened up schools and the economy. Doesn't that give you a hint?

"27Itsnotover

Why do you go to rallies? If not, how do you know?

Because I have the misfortune to know a few people who use this phrase in RL. And they all go to rallies"

I'm surprised.

When a virus is widely circulating in a population and causing many infections, the likelihood of the virus mutating increases. The more opportunities a virus has to spread, the more it replicates – and the more opportunities it has to undergo changes.

The above quotation comes from the World Health Organisation.

www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/the-effects-of-virus-variants-on-covid-19-vaccines

They have opened up schools and the economy. Doesn't that give you a hint?

They have had to do this because otherwise the shortages that we are now seeing will become worse. The virus is never going to go away.

@Itsnotover

‘Bodily autonomy’

I can honestly say that the only people I hear using that phrase are those at rallies holding signs saying freedom.

With rights come responsibilities.

What makes you think that the government isn’t informing people about the vaccine?

So you have never heard of it in regards to something like abortion? Or female genital mutilation?

It is a basic human right. It is not something anti-vaxxers have made up.

Anti vaxxers are the ones constantly using it will toxic intent at the moment though.

@PieceOfString

You are clearly aware that covid is only one of many illnesses you are running the gauntlet with currently. So maybe reframe your outlook into something more honest and less blame attaching like 'since my chemo I am more susceptible to bugs so it makes sense to avoid unnecessary exposure to illnesses and be more remote from people.' luckily you are happy not having as much adult company, unfortunately you have nursery age children so your ability to manage your contacts is limited by that. Then there is the fact that you feel an imbalance between what this lady wants and you want and what you are willing to give. So, just be adult about it and in the course of mutual chats or whatever paint a picture of what is on offer and what you are about. I feel you have been disingenuous with her in how mutually deep this friendship can go letting yourself become a party of her life in a way that you now want to pull back from. It happens but if you're going to have an authentic friendship where you don't end up thinking snide thoughts about her (I know you said you don't look down on her as a single mum, but you did call her idiotically selfish) which I suspect is because you are not where you want to be with her, but that's not her fault.

Exactly this! Also "she wants to be my BFF" I would be mortified if someone said that about me and how you've described/discussed her.

"21:00Itsnotover

Anti vaxxers are the ones constantly using it will toxic intent at the moment though"

What's toxic about choosing what you do with your own body?

What is toxic about not having a vaccine?

"20:37Itsnotover

They have opened up schools and the economy. Doesn't that give you a hint?

They have had to do this because otherwise the shortages that we are now seeing will become worse. The virus is never going to go away"

Who told you that? You seem so preoccupied with 'antivaxxers', you seem to be confused.

So schools reopened because of shortages? Or do you think it might be worth mentioning that children need an education and stability in their lives?

YABU to be discussing your medical history. It’s none of your business. Why do people discuss it, it’s so divisive.
People can lie and say they’ve had it when they haven’t .

You haven't answered any of my concerns so I'm definitely not going to answer yours because they make no sense. The anti-vaxxer mentality is as toxic as they come.

Are you one of those people who think that the covid vaccine is not tested enough and is a 'mass human experiment'?

If you ended up in hospital needing treatment, would you say 'wait, I'm not sure about this drug, I need to check'?

In the interests of transparency, I will say that I have to deal with an anti vaxxer on a weekly basis. Which will give a wider understanding of why this mentality angers me. He thinks that all vaccines are evil and designed to kill people. He has stopped me from vaccinating our children against the normal childhood illnesses. I pointed out to him that our youngest child went into NICU at birth and is thank god, healthy today because of that intervention.

For me, it was an easy decision to make to have this vaccine because we have an unprecedented situation where we have a completely new virus with no herd immunity. We've had to keep on having quarantines, people are dying before their time and the effect on mental health is also so bad. Previously, we've had the luxury of being able to sit back and say 'oh well I won't get my child immunised against diphtheria because we don't even have it in this country.' I've never had a bad reaction to vaccines before so I felt it logical and sensible to have it. My 17 year old dd chose to have it also.

If everyone decided to not have the covid vaccine, we'd be no further forward from quarantines. So if you don't have it you're relying on those that are.

@Suzi888

YABU to be discussing your medical history. It’s none of your business. Why do people discuss it, it’s so divisive. People can lie and say they’ve had it when they haven’t .

The OP's friend apparently told her about this voluntarily (like most anti vaxxers do)

@Suzi888

Exactly. It's bloody wierd and intrusive. I personally have boundaries and I exercise them when needed. Some on the other hand either over share, or are just plain nosy and entitled.

Obviously children need an education and stability in their lives which is why so many of us want to do our bit to help life to go on.

Yes but we have gone further than that now with this discussion, or do you now want to police what we talk about?

"21:31Itsnotover

Obviously children need an education and stability in their lives which is why so many of us want to do our bit to help life to go on"

It's already going on.