Has anyone else pulled back/ended friendships with unvaccinated friends?

[mowly77]

This feels right to me but I’m not sure how she’s going to take it, & wondered if anyone else had similar experiences? I’m fully vaccinated; but antibody test tells me I’ve had covid in last 6 months. I’m ill a lot - crappy immune system. Really sick this last week, rivers of snot, endless coughing. My DD is at nursery & had milder version first. I get everything she gets. Could be covid again; could not be. Either way I’m bloody ill & self employed so lost loads of money. Fed up of being ill all the time.

Recent friendship with someone & we’ve been working on my allotment together. She’s a bit lonely, single mum, now wants to be my BFF & invited me & DD to her DS birthday (big) party in a few weeks - indoors. She’s cheerfully told me she’s unvaccinated. Didn’t really sink in before. I’ve been in her car; she’s been round for a cuppa a few times.

Now I’m fretting; plus thinking how idiotically selfish she is. I’m going to tell her no more indoor stuff, no birthday party. Outdoor allotment socially distanced is fine.

This winter is going to be a car crash & I don’t have any more truck with it. I know I’m not BU but it still feels like a delicate line.

Do what you need to do. You don’t need any of our blessings or approval. You can be nice to your friend but clear about it. You are protecting your health.

@alreadytaken

None of my friends is stupid, therefore they were all vaccinated at the first possible opportunity.

Unvaccinated people are more likely to get and transmit covid. They also take up beds urgently needed by people for other health care. They have blood on their hands and they increase the risk of lockdowns so also have some responsibility for business failures, lockdown and tax increases.

I have a list of people I know to be anti-vax or anti mask wearing and I wont employ them or shop with them.

This.

I won't employ them either.

They probably would not want to work for you!

@Emilyontmoor

"As highlighted above only 11 % of the population are not vaccinated at all and some of those will not be medically able or just not have got round to it so those determined not to get vaccinated are a small minority. Most of us won’t ever encounter them in a setting where they would be a threat to us, mostly on the internet when they come out spouting their anti vax rubbish or clogging up London on their sad days out marching with six packs of Stella in ever decreasing circles brandishing manky bits of cardboard with FrEEdom scrawled on them"

That's rubbish. How horrible of you to describe them like that. Do you think you are better than others? You have an awful attitude.

Peteycat That is my experience of those who are not vaccinated. I appreciate that not all people who have chosen to not vaccinate are actually on the internet spreading nonsense or in the grip of that cult of nonsense wondering the London streets drunkenly or attacking the wrong TV studios but some are. That is the demographic I am afraid. And all have chosen to ignore the public good and the science and take a decision purely for themselves that makes them into a greater threat to minimising Covid infections both individually and for society as a while. And of course a greater chance of ending up taking up hospital resources in ICU.

I don’t think I am better than other people in many ways but in terms of having reached a rational and sensible decision to vaccinate myself to protect myself and others, yes, I think that the vast majority that have been vaccinated have behaved better than others, and I put myself in that 89%, or more including those who are unable to take that opportunity but would if they could.

I'd still be friends. Maybe meet outdoors? For me, it's more about how honest and considerate someone is about covid e.g. if someone lives with someone with covid, they can meet up with people, but I'd terminate a friendship if they met up with me without telling me their partner/kid etc had covid iyswim.

She's as likely to catch it from you as you are from her. I don't see the issue. The only person she's hurting (potentially) is herself.

This, quite simply

@mowly77

This feels right to me but I’m not sure how she’s going to take it, & wondered if anyone else had similar experiences? I’m fully vaccinated; but antibody test tells me I’ve had covid in last 6 months. I’m ill a lot - crappy immune system. Really sick this last week, rivers of snot, endless coughing. My DD is at nursery & had milder version first. I get everything she gets. Could be covid again; could not be. Either way I’m bloody ill & self employed so lost loads of money. Fed up of being ill all the time.

Recent friendship with someone & we’ve been working on my allotment together. She’s a bit lonely, single mum, now wants to be my BFF & invited me & DD to her DS birthday (big) party in a few weeks - indoors. She’s cheerfully told me she’s unvaccinated. Didn’t really sink in before. I’ve been in her car; she’s been round for a cuppa a few times.

Now I’m fretting; plus thinking how idiotically selfish she is. I’m going to tell her no more indoor stuff, no birthday party. Outdoor allotment socially distanced is fine.

This winter is going to be a car crash & I don’t have any more truck with it. I know I’m not BU but it still feels like a delicate line.

She isn’t responsible for your immune system which looks to me like you need to look after yourself and you are being very very horrible about it. What a divide this has caused.

The reason why people get pissed off with the non vaccinators is that vaccination programmes don’t work by giving each individual 100% protection. They work by giving a group of people better immunity so that it spreads more slowly.

It’s not that hard to understand surely?

I don’t begrudge people who don’t want to get vaccinated because they have bad reactions etc. But that’s precisely why everyone who can get vaccinated should do so.

In my experience, (not always) the unvaccinated people are also the ones who think covid doesn’t exist and who go around trying to get close to other people, to annoy them so they can ‘wake them up’. They’re also the ones going to crowded events.

I wouldn't end a friendship but I am more cautious about having unvaccinated friends over/seeing them indoors. Rightly or wrongly.

It would depend.
If she's unvaccinated and wears a tin foil hat then we'd likely not have enough in common to be friends...

IME anti-vaxers are very keen to demonstrate just how stupid they are. Many people were sharing advice on where you could get vaccines or trying to encourage others by making it clear most people were going ahead. Others were, and some still are, posting bullshit on Facebook. So I know the vaccine status not only of my friends and family but of many other people.

Anti-vaxers still have to eat so they want work, I'm not going to give it to them.

Anti-vaxers still have to eat so they want work, I'm not going to give it to them.

The person I know who is most anti-vaccine and anti mask phoned up trading standards because the place he wanted to do business with asked him to stand outside because he refuses to wear a mask. It’s unbelievable.

"17:45Itsnotover

In my experience, (not always) the unvaccinated people are also the ones who think covid doesn’t exist and who go around trying to get close to other people, to annoy them so they can ‘wake them up’. They’re also the ones going to crowded events"

Not this rubbish again.

People should be sensible regardless of vaccination status.

@Peteycat

In my experience it's not rubbish 🤷🏻‍♀️ sorry if it's not what you want to hear. Try having people in your life who behave like this. I can tell you it's annoying.

"I don’t begrudge people who don’t want to get vaccinated because they have bad reactions etc. But that’s precisely why everyone who can get vaccinated should do so"

That statement is absolute nonsense. What are you actually trying to say?

So basically, people who may be cautious, have to have a reaction first before you decide if that's OK or not? How truly bizarre.

Why all the ridiculous stereotyping about people who choose one thing or another?

There is a wide spectrum of people who choose to be vaccinated, and also those who choose not to. It comes across immature and lacking in a deeper, considered understanding of the plethora of reasons people have regarding their choices, when posters make such sweeping statements.

@Peteycat

"I don’t begrudge people who don’t want to get vaccinated because they have bad reactions etc. But that’s precisely why everyone who can get vaccinated should do so"

That statement is absolute nonsense. What are you actually trying to say?

I thought that post was very simple and obvious.

Sorry it confused you.

Think I've heard most of the reasons for not vaccinating now and apart from those with medical reasons, including real phobia, they are all either being selfish or spouting rubbish or both. Hesitancy was understandable initially but there is plenty of evidence now both of the benefits of vaccination and the harm the unvaccinated are doing to people who cant get health care.

@Oldfestivalgoer

Firstly, why the silly face?

Secondly, no it's nonsense. She doesn't 'begrudge' people, how very good of her. Why is it 'precisely' why everyone who can, should? On what basis? Because some have had a reaction? It makes no sense.

"20:09alreadytaken

Think I've heard most of the reasons for not vaccinating now and apart from those with medical reasons, including real phobia, they are all either being selfish or spouting rubbish or both. Hesitancy was understandable initially but there is plenty of evidence now both of the benefits of vaccination and the harm the unvaccinated are doing to people who cant get health care"

It's definitely not selfish. That's just something some have made up to project either their anger or fear.

Bodily autonomy is about the right to make decisions over one's own life and future. It is about being empowered to make informed choices. These are universal values. Governments everywhere have committed, in a variety of international agreements, to protecting autonomy.

Just leave that here incase people are still unsure.