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Covid

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Original poster

This is shit

64 replies

wiggleshasmylife · 12/08/2021 10:16

I went through my entire pregnancy alone because of covid. I got induced and spent 4 days alone in a hospital bed because of covid. No visitors rill active labour. My husband had to leave 3 hours after her birth.
We've spent the last year saving and scrimping money because you guessed it covid fucked us over financially. Now it's my daughters first birthday this week. We arranged a very small gathering.. both grandparents, 2 friends and 4 cousins. Thats all we asked for and we've had to cancel because 2 have tested positive and we've been pinged by the app. So this is shit. I've had enough. This was the last little bit of something I was clinging to. I'm.done with this shit. I've saved my last little bit of holiday and money to do something with her and now we can't. What's the point anymore? And before anyone comments I know she wont remember it but I've had a very shit year and this is all I wanted

OP posts:

Katie517 · 12/08/2021 16:04

The app is not legally binding so just ignore it, you do not have to isolate from Monday if you are double jabbed or under 18 and a close contact so what difference would it make to go ahead with your weekend plans? I also had a baby last year and it’s been awful so I sure as hell wouldn’t be cancelling any first birthday plans for the sake of a couple of days after everything we have already given up!

Tootsey11 · 12/08/2021 20:15

Op, yes you've had a bit of a crap time. But put things in perspective, a lot of people never made it this far. How many families are there who have lost a family member. It's just a party, you can have it all together at a later date.

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 12/08/2021 20:22

It is shit. I am sorry.

SueSaid · 12/08/2021 20:25

Yes it has been very shit for everyone but it is improving, life is returning to normal. Ignore the app its only instructions by track and trace that we have to follow.

Just plan a family gathering in a couple of weeks?

Katie517 · 12/08/2021 20:46

@Tootsey11 spoken like someone who has absolutely no idea what a shit show it has been having a baby during the pandemic. Just because other people have had it worse doesn’t mean all other problems and sadness pails into insignificance! To you it’s just a party to the OP it’s the one thing she has been looking forward to after such a horrible time, have some empathy or are we only allowed to feel sad if we know someone who has died from covid now?!

Heartofglass12345 · 12/08/2021 21:36

I work for test and trace and unless you come through to us for a phone call isolation isn't mandatory. It isn't even if we phone you unless we actually know who has tested positive and they've named you as a contact.

Porcupineintherough · 12/08/2021 22:25

Vent away, it's really tough when you are hanging on for 1 special thing then that goes pear-shaped too. Happened to us at Christmas, was desperate to see my parents on Christmas day and tested positive on the 20th. Gutted at the time, in retrospect though not so bad. Hang on in there and yes try and reschedule.

Tootsey11 · 12/08/2021 22:41

@Katie517 where did I say covid deaths. Read what I wrote.

The Op does need to have a rethink. Yes, she's had a baby during covid, so have many others. But to get worked up over a party is just over reacting. That party can be reorganised to another date when everyone can attend. The child won't mind.

Its not what life throws at you, it's how you deal with it that matters.

Original poster

wiggleshasmylife · 13/08/2021 05:03

@Tootsey11 not helpful. I'm allowed my feelings and I'm truly sorry for people who have lost family. But it doesn't make my feelings less valid. As for the comment on its how you cope with it I'm sorry I'm not coping in a way you feel I'd acceptable.

OP posts:

sleepwouldbenice · 13/08/2021 07:46

OP
it is the so called smaller things in life which give life joy and you are entitled to scream shout and cry in utter utter frustration
Other than that I can only suggest that you plan something new to look forward to
You have my real sympathies

MRex · 13/08/2021 08:30

[quote Tootsey11]@Katie517 where did I say covid deaths. Read what I wrote.

Its not what life throws at you, it's how you deal with it that matters.[/quote]
It's just the straw that's been too much to carry for OP. Have some empathy, she's allowed to be upset. We can't all go around with a stiff upper lip because somebody else in the world has it worse, there will always be somebody worse off.

Cornettoninja · 13/08/2021 08:32

@wiggleshasmylife I’m really sorry that you’re feeling so dismayed and defeated. I completely see why something like your ds’s birthday party being ruined is enough to tip you over the edge after the last year. It is shit.

But in @Tootsey11’s defence I see where they’re coming from. The way you’re feeling is horrible and one of the ways to move past that and try to avoid it spiralling into something uncontrollable is to force yourself to try and reframe it. They’re not minimising what you feel they’re trying to help you. If you’re not ready to do that, that’s absolutely valid but maybe just keep their words under consideration. There has to be a stage after what you’re feeling right now and that can be one of them.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 13/08/2021 08:33

Its not what life throws at you, it's how you deal with it that matters.

And the award for inspirational tea-towel cliche of the day goes to...

Do you want to add "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade" to that?

OP, it is absolutely fine to feel shit about your situation. Despite what Tootsey may say, your feelings are not less valid just because you are not experiencing the worst possible situation. DS celebrated his 18th birthday in lockdown. Were there worse things happening in the world at the time? Yes. Was it still OK for me to feel crap for him? Yes.

Remember that it is not a legal requirement to isolate because the app has pinged you - delete the app, as others are suggesting. And plan a special day with your baby even if you can't have the gathering.

Serenschintte · 13/08/2021 08:36

Please delete the App. It’s one step you can take to give you more control.
Congratulations on your daughters birthday. I’m so sorry the party didn’t work out. Plan a lovely day with your baby.

MRex · 13/08/2021 08:37

delete the app, as others are suggesting
Contact isolation ends on Monday. It doesn't make sense to delete the app, it will be a useful warning that you've been in contact with a positive case, no obligations but you can then take sensible decisions like avoiding meeting vulnerable people indoors, testing for even a headache etc.

MrsTophamHat · 13/08/2021 08:56

I also would carry on but do daily LFTs. I deleted the app ages ago and when Covid was rife in my workplace in July I was sure I was going to get contacted. I took daily LFTs, was extra careful about handwashing and managed not to get it.

Original poster

wiggleshasmylife · 13/08/2021 09:04

The point I was trying to make was yes I know covid is a big deal but I dont need to be told others have it worse. I'm sorry to sound so blunt but so what. Ive had an awful 20 months and to find out the isolation rules change yet again a mere 3 days after her birthday is a slap in the face..its not a case of me spiralling about it. What else can I do but pick up the pieces and move know? But you know I had an awful lonely pregnancy. Nobody saw me from 14 weeks pregnant till she was born, I had to find the gender out alone which you know is something my husband would have given all he owns to be there. I laboured alone. I've spent nearly 20 months in bloody solitude. So yeah people do have it worse but it's not a bloody competition.

I thamk everyone who had useful advice and commiserations. I've deleted the app. As to what we are doing today is beyond me.

OP posts:

SueSaid · 13/08/2021 10:13

'I know covid is a big deal but I dont need to be told others have it worse. I'm sorry to sound so blunt but so what.'

Yes but equally others could say 'so what, hopsital appointments alone and a missed birthday party'.

What you do is accept it's been an awful year, it's getting better. Just arrange a belated birthday party. You have a child, I presume you're all fit and well. Stop wallowing.

Original poster

wiggleshasmylife · 13/08/2021 10:16

What a rude and unhelpful comment. You've absolutely no idea what I've been thru. I'd love to be fit and healthy. Terribly sorry to want to have a birthday party for my Child.

OP posts:

SueSaid · 13/08/2021 10:43

Trying to be helpful. I'm sorry like many you attended hospital appointments alone, yes awful dh had to leave 3 hrs after the birth (seems a decent length of time to me), it is a shame someone has been pinged and celebrations postponed.

My point is for your own mh focus on the good things, look at what you have. Yes fine be disappointed but try to be positive and just have a party next week.

StateOfTheUterus · 13/08/2021 10:56

I can totally understand why this feels like just the last straw….and if (as some would put it) wallowing with chocolate and a movie helps then that’s exactly what you should do.
Allow yourself to feel angry and sad today. The important thing though is not to let your feelings consume you so you can’t see anything else that is good. You are already doing that of course by allowing yourself the enjoyment of the chocolate and a movie. That’s self care right there. So fair play to yiu OP I’m sure you can get through this.

AtomicBronde · 13/08/2021 11:03

I’m so sorry this has happened, OP. It’s such shit timing and you’re absolutely allowed to feel upset.

Rearrange the party today, have that date in the future to look forward to, today watch films and carry on eating that chocolate, FaceTime your relatives.

I’m the opposite to you atm, I’d be quite happy to never socialise again. I really haven’t missed it. Know that’s my issue though and something I need to work on.

for you and lots of

TuesdayRuby · 13/08/2021 11:06

I absolutely would not be listening to any ping from the all if I’d been double jabbed and had no symptoms. The rules change from Monday anyway!
Just go ahead with the party and have fun.
Yes it’s been a shit 18 months but it’s time to start getting back to normal. Just think of it no different than you had two friends who came down with the flu just before the party. It’s annoying but it happens! Plenty of people have to pull out of plans for various reasons.

Skyla2005 · 13/08/2021 11:19

Do a little party for her in the garden for the people who are negative on the morning of the party you sound like you need it

Skyla2005 · 13/08/2021 11:21

@TuesdayRuby

I absolutely would not be listening to any ping from the all if I’d been double jabbed and had no symptoms. The rules change from Monday anyway! Just go ahead with the party and have fun. Yes it’s been a shit 18 months but it’s time to start getting back to normal. Just think of it no different than you had two friends who came down with the flu just before the party. It’s annoying but it happens! Plenty of people have to pull out of plans for various reasons.

Totally agree. As long as everyone has done a home test before they come just carry on you can't carry on like this

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