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Original poster

This is shit

64 replies

wiggleshasmylife · 12/08/2021 10:16

I went through my entire pregnancy alone because of covid. I got induced and spent 4 days alone in a hospital bed because of covid. No visitors rill active labour. My husband had to leave 3 hours after her birth.
We've spent the last year saving and scrimping money because you guessed it covid fucked us over financially. Now it's my daughters first birthday this week. We arranged a very small gathering.. both grandparents, 2 friends and 4 cousins. Thats all we asked for and we've had to cancel because 2 have tested positive and we've been pinged by the app. So this is shit. I've had enough. This was the last little bit of something I was clinging to. I'm.done with this shit. I've saved my last little bit of holiday and money to do something with her and now we can't. What's the point anymore? And before anyone comments I know she wont remember it but I've had a very shit year and this is all I wanted

OP posts:
Gothichouse40 · 12/08/2021 10:19

Im really sorry to hear that. Could you postpone the wee gathering till a later date? I cannot suggest much else. Take care.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 12/08/2021 10:20
Thanks
Original poster
wiggleshasmylife · 12/08/2021 10:20

I wish we could. We used the last of our holiday for this. Hardly anyone has met her cos of this stupid shit. I am so so done.

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 12/08/2021 10:22

That's really disappointing.

Hold a tiny party of just your household and carry on with your original plans when everyone is better/out of isolation.

I know it's not what you wanted but you can still make it a special event.

Original poster
wiggleshasmylife · 12/08/2021 10:28

We are planning on doing something together. This is just the final straw for me. I actually want to give up.

OP posts:
Thethreecs · 12/08/2021 10:33

If you are feeling suicidal can you speak to your GP today?

It is a shit time alright and some have been affected more than others.

When I add up the months of not seeing people, I'm in total shock. What is more depressing is some of the people died before I seen them since this all started.

Maybe on your day off from work when things have settled a little, you can do a tea party and those who have covid will be well again and you'll have something to look forward to.

Wishing you all the best.

Original poster
wiggleshasmylife · 12/08/2021 10:37

I've been under the mental health team since she was born. Im on sertraline. Its not doing anything. Im on 150mg. Its not so much suicidal. Its more how much more can I take? Fine I'll go to all the scans and appointments alone. I was in tje hospital every day from 32 weeks. She stopped growing and moving. So I had to do that alone. Then the induction. That took 4 days. No visitors whatsoever. Couldn't even leave my bed to go see my husband downstairs outside the hospital. We had the constant ctg monitoring. And we've been struggling financially and this party was like my little Ray of hope. And now it's gone. And now I just dont care anymore. I work in a very busy environment and I see all the people going on nights out. No masks. No nothing. I served over 400 people in 2 hours after a night out but I cant even have 9 people in my garden because we stupidly follow the rules. We're both double jabbed. Both wear a mask. Both follow everything. Sorry I'm.getting off topic. I'm just very very fed up.

OP posts:
MRex · 12/08/2021 10:37

It's really very hard, you've been through a lot and being asked to give up something else is too much. I have a little one and know how hard it was to miss these milestones over the past 18 months, because you know you can't get them back. What you need to do is gather yourself up and set a later date to celebrate instead, I know it isn't what you want, but you really will feel better that you've been able to do it even when it's late.

Can you defer your holiday and work from home this week, or request a couple of days unpaid leave later? Your DD gets two parties that way; one with you and one with the family. She will love both. If not, use a weekend and do the party then. It matters, it really does, and it's ok to be upset about it right now, but you can and will do it later.

Original poster
wiggleshasmylife · 12/08/2021 10:42

@MRex my job unfortunately cannot be done from home but I'm going to ask if I can take some holiday over or some unpaid leave in a couple of weeks. Probably once kids go back to school and we aren't as busy. I've just cried all morning. I could just about cope with the 2 friends testing positive and then 30 seconds later my phone pinged and its literally a 'oh fuck off' moment

OP posts:
MareofBeasttown · 12/08/2021 10:45

I totally feel for you and anyone who has had to give birth in this horrible pandemic. You are totally justified in crying all morning. I hope you find some sort of happy place.

MRex · 12/08/2021 10:47

Good luck. It's worth explaining at work, anyone with young children in particular will understand just how hard it is to keep missing these milestones. Decorate the house and have a fun party with music on the day anyway, we were isolating for DS's last birthday and it ended up surprisingly fun. (Actually he got tested on the day and was negative, so we didn't even need to, which was frustrating too.)

By the way, as you are double jabbed contacts you don't actually need to isolate from Monday 16th. It messes up this weekend still, and you might need to be careful regardless with family just in case, but just so you know.

AnyFucker · 12/08/2021 10:50

I’m sorry. You are right, it is shit.

Mindymomo · 12/08/2021 12:06

I’m so sorry, reading this has also made me cry and I don’t even know you. Life is really rough sometimes, but give your little girl an extra special cuddle. Hope it helps.

Bionicname · 12/08/2021 12:10

If you have to isolate and your job can’t be done from home doesn’t that mean you’ll have to stay home for the isolation period?

Sorry to slightly miss the point - I completely feel for you. It can feel like we’ve been in a kind of survival mode forever, and things to look forward to are rare and precious - and even more devastating when being taken away, especially at short notice. You almost don’t want to dare getting excited about anything as it might just be snatched away again.

If you and your DH have been pinged does this mean you get some extra time at home with just you and DC? Hopefully none of you will actually come down with Covid. (Desperately looking for silver linings here)

Original poster
wiggleshasmylife · 12/08/2021 12:51

Im assuming we now isolate for 10 days but the rules change so much im actually not sure. I'm waiting for work to ring me back. Me and my dd are currently laid on the floor watching lion King and eating chocolate. It's sort of helping. Thanks for listening to my vent

OP posts:
OliveTree75 · 12/08/2021 12:58

I am sorry OP. I also had a baby last year so can defs relate. It is shit.

CagneyNYPD · 12/08/2021 13:03

And this is why so many people have removed the App. A call from Test and Trace to tell you to self isolate is legally enforceable. A ping on the App is not.

I would make a judgement call based on the vaccination status of the adults involved. I wouldn't necessarily cancel everything especially as we are so close to the self isolation rules changing for te fully vaccinated anyway. Perhaps just a little outdoor gathering with the grandparents. I am fully aware that others will flame me.

Bizawit · 12/08/2021 13:05

So sorry OP, how awful for you Flowers. For a start I recommend deleting the app. It’s not required that you have it, and it’s not a legal requirement to self isolate if you are pinged. The rules have been relaxed now and we can choose to start living normally again. It sounds like it is really important for you to start putting your mental health first ❤️❤️

Marmight · 12/08/2021 13:44

The app is only advisory for isolation. Delete it and carry on.
The rules change for the double vaccinated on Monday anyway.

toolazytothinkofausername · 12/08/2021 13:55

YANBU. That is shit.

Motorina · 12/08/2021 14:54

I’m so sorry. It’s utterly rubbish to have a thing you were looking forward to snatched away. Chocolate and Lion King are totally justified.

TinaYouFatLard · 12/08/2021 15:04

Delete the app. Get your life back.

Kokeshi123 · 12/08/2021 15:04

I served over 400 people in 2 hours after a night out but I cant even have 9 people in my garden because we stupidly follow the rules. We're both double jabbed. Both wear a mask. Both follow everything.

OP, if the rules are stupid (they are) and you are double vaccinated anyway, I think it's time to start ignoring them. Even the rules will not require double vaxed people to isolate a few days from now.

worriedatthemoment · 12/08/2021 15:08

If you have been pinged and isolating can you change your work holiday and cancel it as now its not holiday ? I know you can do this when sick whilst on holiday etc

NearlyAlwaysInsane · 12/08/2021 15:41

The app is causing a heck of a lot of grief to a lot of people.

Thankfully, mine crashed a few days ago and it seems to be impossible to get it to work again. Maybe every cloud........