Had left but still on threads I'm on and saw my name.
Honestly it will be absolutely AOK.
Just thought though-
When I had perinatal anxiety and depression that unfortunately went on for years.
I had one particular thing that I was totally irrational about.
It was to the extent that I only left the house when I absolutely had to for over s year.
During that time, at home s lot and with young children, it's that sort of start stop that means for me anyway I was on MN an awful lot.
I was drawn to threads which from the title I knew would be about the thing that made me have panic attacks etc. It was a bit moth to a flame.
Then I'd get more upset and probably posted really irrational things (not saying you're doing that!) and it was for me, not good at all.
The other thing is that on a current topic like covid and vaccines which has some really opposed ideas, people will start veering off into things that are not helpful. Also, there are people on here who enjoy putting the boot in, upsetting people etc.
So while MN is fab. Treat with caution for your anxiety.
If you are drawn to covid threads then reading all this stuff will not help, hide the topic is a possibility.
As it's health anxiety you are likely to get a more sensitive response on health or mental health.
I don't know if that's useful- you're not me! But thought I'd say it anyway.
Also it sounds like your OH is not exactly being helpful. Presumably he knows how you feel. I've not read all your posts sorry but talking to friends/ family IRL if there are any you feel comfy talking to is good. Rather than bottle it in.
I had propranolol to take as and when. It's a beta blocker, slows heart rate.
It was really good for me as it massively reduces the anxiety response- the pounding heart, not being able to get enough breath etc.
With the physical response controlled I found it much easier to say to myself. You're being irrational. You know this isn't true. Etc. And tamp it back down.