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Original poster

Finding Normality harder than I thought :(

126 replies

Dandy008 · 01/08/2021 07:52

I’m struggling with “normality” more than I thought I would.

I went back to work 8 months ago (before being vaccinated) and felt fine about it.
All distanced and Covid procedures in place.

DC started nursery 8 months and I felt fine about that too.

DH does a mixture of working form home and in the office.

I’ve eaten out, taken DC to soft play and weekly baby music classes.

All of which have been done with Covid restrictions in place.

I felt safer and happier then.

I was actually really excited about restrictions being lifted on the 19th, but since it’s actually happened I’m struggling with it.

I’ve eaten out twice and hated how busy it was, a local we went to previously has now added more tables and there’s very little distance between them.

Most places I go to, very little people wear masks.
I know they don’t HAVE to, but I just assumed more people would.

I’ve found myself feeling on edge when I’m out and Covid is always on my mind.

I ended up cancelling a meal with a friend last night, a friend I haven’t seen for 18 month, because I got myself a bit worked up about it.

I don’t know what I’m waiting for of when I expect I will feel better or more relaxed.

Is anyone else finding things as daunting as me?

OP posts:
Theworldisfullofgs · 01/08/2021 18:09
  • I haven't caught Covid from him!
TheKeatingFive · 01/08/2021 18:12

We had a spike from the Euros and other big events, and the impact of night clubs, indoor socialising etc. hasn't caught up yet.

The impact of nightclubs/indoor socialising is cumulative and on going. It’s not like they were open for a few weeks and then shut.

Back to normal levels of mixing means that the situation isn’t going to change significantly any time soon.

Sandyjag · 01/08/2021 18:13

Thank you OP. I’m also really struggling. I’m sorry you too and many here. We had 10 days of iso before last week of nursery followed by 10 days of maximum bravado, having been super careful until now. We went to gambado, we hung out all day with friends indoors, we shared food, we went into shops, we spent time with higher risk people than ourselves. It was a thrill I will say. But then it all came crashing down and now I’m fatigued and anxious. It was al too much. Will take it more gradually going forward but at same time don’t want to limit my child’s experiences any longer so trying to be as brave as possible.

TheKeatingFive · 01/08/2021 18:14

And then there’s schools going back in a few weeks

whoslaughingnow73 · 01/08/2021 18:18

I think, for me, it's less about the threat of COVID (I'm double jabbed, under 40 and healthy) and more about realising that actually although I didn't like the lockdowns I did like it when places were quieter, where you had to book and knew roughly what to expect etc.

We had tickets to an outdoor kids event last week, booked when restrictions were still in place. Limited tickets, set to time slots etc. Then the night before we were due to go I saw they place had posted on SM saying it's been fairly quiet, no time slots needed now, no limits on numbers - basically just have at it! I completely understand that they need the business but it didn't make me feel less happy about going. We went still, and stuck to our early morning slot but it was heaving by lunchtime and I didn't enjoy it as much as I would've.

I also loved table service in places like pubs! Again, I know and understand that it's not good for business. But it was lovely not to have to jostle at the bar.

We will all get there OP I think it's normal to feel a bit of trepidation. I remember when things first started to lift after the Christmas lockdown I was still very wary of things like the children mixing in the park. I don't give that a second thought now. It'll just take time to feel normal again.

Hissysnake · 01/08/2021 18:25

We've been out a lot when allowed throughout covid. What I've found is that the outdoor spaces where everyone was cramming to go to six months ago are now deserted. For instance out local forest and local nature park are now really quiet.

I go to the gym. Its still quieter than precovid. We've been to the shops etc and I still think they're quieter than before. We've been to the cinema at Cheshire Oaks today. Considering it's a Sunday afternoon in the school holidays, it was really quiet. Yes there were people there, but nothing like pre pandemic levels. We could get parked for a start!

YarnOver · 01/08/2021 19:04

@Sandyjag

Thank you OP. I’m also really struggling. I’m sorry you too and many here. We had 10 days of iso before last week of nursery followed by 10 days of maximum bravado, having been super careful until now. We went to gambado, we hung out all day with friends indoors, we shared food, we went into shops, we spent time with higher risk people than ourselves. It was a thrill I will say. But then it all came crashing down and now I’m fatigued and anxious. It was al too much. Will take it more gradually going forward but at same time don’t want to limit my child’s experiences any longer so trying to be as brave as possible.
Your irrational fear of life is more of a risk to you than covid.
Sandyjag · 01/08/2021 19:16

So profound.

Theunamedcat · 01/08/2021 19:39

If im honest im hating it people are just too close closer than they were pre covid I had to put my pin into the machine to pay and this man is stood right on me I asked for a little room ie so he cant see my pin he tutted and looked up at the ceiling fucking step back I would never crowd the till pre covid so why do it now? Because you can? Doesn't mean you should

The half in half out restrictions bother me too I went on a pointless expensive heritage train trip today instead of being able to get off the train and explore around the stations you had to stay on the train do not leave! It was mind boggling are the restrictions lifted or not

Shopping is interesting because again people have gone right back to walking into you like you don't exist great when my kid with additional needs is with me

OnTheBrink1 · 01/08/2021 20:25

I honestly think also it depends on what you liked pre covid. I honestly don’t care about lots of people about. I don’t want to go to a half empty theatre. I don’t want to have to book a slot at everywhere I go. It’s a massive pain and I find really curtails the fun out of life for me.
I am gravitating to places where people no longer wear masks, and where there are no restrictions.

screwcovid · 01/08/2021 20:47

@StylishMummy

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.
This ! I personally love no one wearing masks and I am not living being scared of getting covid or anything else

Saying that .. I think a lot of people are anxious from the pure fact the government/MSM have frightened the living shit out of people

screwcovid · 01/08/2021 20:49

@Lovelydovey

We’re still very nervous about indoor activities and like to understand what measures are in place before we make a decision to go.

For us that makes sense. I lost both my parents to covid earlier in the year, have an uncle ventilated in ICU with covid (double vaccinated but very vulnerable) and we want to avoid having to isolate ahead of MILs funeral in a week’s time.

I can’t quite imagine going back into an office in September at this point. I’m really quite anxious about it all. I know I will have to do it though.

Sorry for your loss
YarnOver · 01/08/2021 20:59

@Sandyjag

So profound.
Yeah you went out for few days and then the anxiety was too much and everything came crashing down.....

If you think that's a normal way to live then fair enough.

SummerSaladsAreBack · 01/08/2021 21:14

Lots of sneery people on this thread! We are now at the point where we have been told to be cautious and make our own risk assessments, surely that is what people are doing. The fact people reach a different conclusion to you does not make them wrong and bullying people into behaving the same as you does not make you right.

I'll believe the risk from Covid is over when I have a decent period (say a few months) of reliable stats showing it is consistently at low levels in the population. We are not at that point yet. Until then I'll continue to socialise outdoors and to avoid indoor crowded places with poor ventilation altogether. My best friend has never believed in Covid and continues to socialise indoors and travel on public transport. She has not caught it. We agree to disagree but respect each other's views.

Wheresmrpenguin · 01/08/2021 21:17

I get this a bit. Navigating around with a pram was difficult before with one way systems, lifts and entrances cut off. But now there's no enough room, tables are too close together it's hard to find somewhere to sit, plus putting a high chair up. I had my DD during lockdown 1 so not had chance to experience normality yet.

TheKeatingFive · 01/08/2021 21:19

I'll believe the risk from Covid is over when I have a decent period (say a few months) of reliable stats showing it is consistently at low levels in the population. We are not at that point yet.

It’s never going to be ‘over’. Even if we get the above, spikes can and will happen at any time. People really need to get their heads around that.

RhonaRed · 01/08/2021 21:23

There is still room for more immunity to build. Vaccine uptake is slower but still happening.

TheKeatingFive · 01/08/2021 21:27

There is still room for more immunity to build

That will continue to be true for the foreseeable

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 01/08/2021 21:29

I'm not terrified of catching Covid, but I'd like to see my CEV son before he dies.

Elys3 · 01/08/2021 22:27

It’s rational to be cautious and for a lot of us it’s pragmatism and not fear. I cannot afford the disruption of taking time off to isolate or be ill in bed so I don’t go places where I’ve got a reasonable chance of being exposed to the virus.

Namechangecharlie999 · 01/08/2021 22:27

We went to the pub to eat for the first time in the entire pandemic. Got pinged 3 days later. Had not been anywhere else so know it was that. Think I’d rather not have known

bluetongue · 01/08/2021 22:34

@Theworldisfullofgs

I can kind of be reassuring and not at the same time. Ds and I went to London, we wore masks loads of people weren't. I'm vaccinated he isn't. He's got covid and been quite poorly. We're obviously self isolating. I have mixed feelings about it all. Personally, whilst masks are inconvenient they are all small price to pay to live a relatively normal life.

It's the lack of consideration from others for others that gets me.

Do you really think wearing masks is anything approaching a ‘normal life’ They have real downsides and have made life so much harder for many people with disabilities, mental illnesses and past trauma. Many of us lived a pretty normal life pre pandemic but now had to chose between wearing a mask and therefore going out less during the mask mandates or being questioned as to why we were exempt.
BoredtoTiers · 01/08/2021 22:40

I don't think it's weird at all to feel a bit odd or uncomfortable given we've been living with restrictions for so long.

I'm in Scotland and I'm glad we still have some measures in place because the numbers in the community have been high, though thankfully falling. I dislike the implication that the choice is between 'hiding away' or going straight back to life pre-COVID. We're still in a pandemic, so for me it makes absolute sense to choose your social activities according to your own risk appetite, age, health etc.

Theworldisfullofgs · 01/08/2021 23:24

bluetongue
Did you read the bit where it said my son has Covid? Or is it just about you?

BlusteryLake · 02/08/2021 17:34

It's perfectly OK to come out of restrictions at your own pace OP - different people have different concerns. It's also OK to make permanent changes to your lifestyle as a result of experiences you have preferred during lockdown. The thing to remember about the quieter public places, though, is that those levels are not sustainable long term for most businesses and services, but have been kept going by furlough and government support. If they don't get busier, you won't be able to enjoy them at all because they will go bust.

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