Finding Normality harder than I thought :(

[Dandy008]

I’m struggling with “normality” more than I thought I would.

I went back to work 8 months ago (before being vaccinated) and felt fine about it.
All distanced and Covid procedures in place.

DC started nursery 8 months and I felt fine about that too.

DH does a mixture of working form home and in the office.

I’ve eaten out, taken DC to soft play and weekly baby music classes.

All of which have been done with Covid restrictions in place.

I felt safer and happier then.

I was actually really excited about restrictions being lifted on the 19th, but since it’s actually happened I’m struggling with it.

I’ve eaten out twice and hated how busy it was, a local we went to previously has now added more tables and there’s very little distance between them.

Most places I go to, very little people wear masks.
I know they don’t HAVE to, but I just assumed more people would.

I’ve found myself feeling on edge when I’m out and Covid is always on my mind.

I ended up cancelling a meal with a friend last night, a friend I haven’t seen for 18 month, because I got myself a bit worked up about it.

I don’t know what I’m waiting for of when I expect I will feel better or more relaxed.

Is anyone else finding things as daunting as me?

Me and DH took the kids to soft play (in a huge gym) the other day and we were the only people wearing masks. There was loads of space so social distancing was easy but I'm fairly certain we were the only people who were bothered.

It's changed our plans for the rest of the school holidays; we won't be doing any inside activities or going anywhere it's likely to be busy.

We live in the middle of nowhere so day to day it's easy but I had hoped to be able to take the kids to some museums/similar for the first time in 2yrs.

For the inevitable posters who will ask when we'll feel comfortable; it'll be when the number of hospitalisations, deaths and long Covid cases are at a low level and falling.

@User0ne

Me and DH took the kids to soft play (in a huge gym) the other day and we were the only people wearing masks. There was loads of space so social distancing was easy but I'm fairly certain we were the only people who were bothered.

It's changed our plans for the rest of the school holidays; we won't be doing any inside activities or going anywhere it's likely to be busy.

We live in the middle of nowhere so day to day it's easy but I had hoped to be able to take the kids to some museums/similar for the first time in 2yrs.

For the inevitable posters who will ask when we'll feel comfortable; it'll be when the number of hospitalisations, deaths and long Covid cases are at a low level and falling.

@User0ne

I totally understand that.

I will still be doing indoor things (or at least I’m going to try and push myself into it) as I’ve decided that the longer I avoid it, the harder it will become for me, although I’m not sure if this approach is the best 😬

I really want to be comfortable doing things “normally” but I’m just not.

DH is totally opposite to me, and has the attitude that we have to just get ok with things now.

That’s easier said than done.

get on*

YANBU

I am continuing to opt out of things. Luckily we live in a village but I cannot imagine living in a city at the moment.

Pre-COVID we were very social but I have lots all desire for this and am enjoying the quiet, calmer life

I was apprehensive at first but now I'm doing things and seeing nothing bad is happening afterwards I'm far more confident. I was in a room singing with nearly 70 people eight days ago. We've all been fine.
Cases are falling, deaths and hospitalisations are just starting to tip over the top. We will never be without Covid and there will always be deaths from and with it unfortunately. There will also be a post viral illness, regardless of the virus caught, we just don't hear about it. Plus all the numbers we hear are terribly skewed. 25% of people in hospital with Covid are not in because of Covid. Don't let your kids miss out because you need to find some confidence. Unless you are CEV, you need to start living. Otherwise this anxiety is only going to get worse.

I am fairly relaxed about it all but where I live in the NE most people still wearing masks. We went to chester zoo yesterday and even I felt uncomfortable. Maybe about 10% of people wearing masks in indoor areas, cafes and shops etc. People were cramming right next to you to see animals in inside areas and it is the first time I have felt a bit panicky. Having said that I wouldn't have liked it pre covid tbh.

Me too!
Not because of the health implications- but I am just finding everything very noisy and busy. I liked the calmness before.

@OliveTree75

I am fairly relaxed about it all but where I live in the NE most people still wearing masks. We went to chester zoo yesterday and even I felt uncomfortable. Maybe about 10% of people wearing masks in indoor areas, cafes and shops etc. People were cramming right next to you to see animals in inside areas and it is the first time I have felt a bit panicky. Having said that I wouldn't have liked it pre covid tbh.

@OliveTree75

We’ve booked to go to Chester Zoo at the end of August.
We’re going mid week but I doubt that will make a difference to business considering it’s School holidays!

My DH has been working throughout and I worked July - December last year, and since March this year. We both commute but the last week the trains are massively busier and it's impossible to have a seat empty next to you, or socially distance when standing. Its because the train company have cut the time table (which I guessed they would) but it feels a bit more uncomfortable. Most people are wearing masks, but some trains are busier than they were pre covid.

You're not alone, I'm horrified at the lack of masks in indoor settings.

It's all made me realise how much I detest crowds, shopping for leisure and going to tourist attractions. I'll be found in my house in future.

I've been back working for months and felt absolutely fine but it's the attitudes of the maskless I'm finding challenging, I've been sneered at just for wearing a mask still because only about 20% of us were.

I know what you mean. Things I could do previously, without giving them a second thought, now seem much more stressful.

I catch myself putting off going to a shop. I bought a car recently and got completely stressed about it. I avoid crowded places. I think lots of people feel the same.

We’re still very nervous about indoor activities and like to understand what measures are in place before we make a decision to go.

For us that makes sense. I lost both my parents to covid earlier in the year, have an uncle ventilated in ICU with covid (double vaccinated but very vulnerable) and we want to avoid having to isolate ahead of MILs funeral in a week’s time.

I can’t quite imagine going back into an office in September at this point. I’m really quite anxious about it all. I know I will have to do it though.

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

@StylishMummy

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

Do you feel better about yourself after writing such a heartless post?

You're far from alone, OP.

Cases are sky high, and hospitalisations and deaths are still rising - it's perfectly normal to want to be cautious.

We're staying at home and only going out for essentials.

All the things you want to do can easily be replaced with home-based alternatives - think of a takeaway instead of eating out or a Zoom call instead of a social event.

@Lovelydovey

We’re still very nervous about indoor activities and like to understand what measures are in place before we make a decision to go.

For us that makes sense. I lost both my parents to covid earlier in the year, have an uncle ventilated in ICU with covid (double vaccinated but very vulnerable) and we want to avoid having to isolate ahead of MILs funeral in a week’s time.

I can’t quite imagine going back into an office in September at this point. I’m really quite anxious about it all. I know I will have to do it though.

I'm so very sorry for your losses. I hope your uncle is ok. The post after yours was callous and ill times, whatever we may think about the issue. I'm CEV and still a bit cautious although a lot less than I was, and understand why others are more cautious still. A bit of kindness and understanding of different situations and the affect on mental health goes a long way.

@stylishmummy No, people will gradually readapt to whatever comes next.

They'll revert to eating out, seeing friends, socialising indoors.

Instincts and anxieties are there for good reason. They protect us. As the threat reduces, so will people's concerns. It's completely normal.

@StylishMummy

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

Finally! Was worried there was going to be no sensible posts at all.

I can sympathise with people's worries but if you're not terrified of catching flu/common cold/ stomach bug or a million other nasties then you have to accept its an irrational fear and deal with it as such.

@StylishMummy

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

A) There's nothing wrong with my critical thinking skills, I'm well aware Covid is not going away.

B) I for one am already on antidepressants for anxiety that pre-dates Covid. Turns out I'm just not great at coping with 'stuff'.

C) I don't read any sensationalist news.

D) I'm already double jabbed.

E) Just go away, telling people how to manage their anxiety, just feck off.

Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread

Wrong. Virtually every studies and review of existing evidence suggests that mask wear wearing in indoor settings the past 18 months has probably saved tens of thousands of lives globally. On a scale of 200,000,000 infections, even things which work just a little bit (eg say masks give two wearers 2% additional protection against mutual spread) have huge consequence.

When we are talking about a nasty virus which has infected half a billion peolle

So a poster writes this

For us that makes sense. I lost both my parents to covid earlier in the year, have an uncle ventilated in ICU with covid (double vaccinated but very vulnerable) and we want to avoid having to isolate ahead of MILs funeral in a week’s time.

...and the next response is this.

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills

@Lovelydovey - I'm sorry it has been such a difficult year, it must be heartbreaking to lose 3 parents in such a short space of time, and without being able to mourn and grieve with family, in the normal way.

The notion bandied around that "masks in indoor settings don't really do anything" is unscientific BS. It's not backed up by a single fact. No they absolutely won't guarantee that you won't get/spread an infection. But they almost certainly will stop some people spreading it or getting infected. Over 200 million people, even if some is just 0.1% (unrealistic - more like 1-2% efficacy), that's still 200,000 fewer base infections - and how many more people will those 200,000 spread it to?

To be honest we haven't gone back to normal yet. Today we're seeing my parents for a walk - they're not happy to come to our house yet, and I wouldn't want to risk their health. I avoid poorly-ventilated shops. I'm certainly not doing anything like soft play, lots of my friends are and I'm finding myself horrified by their Facebook posts. We do do outdoor restaurants, and have booked some non-essential but necessary things like eye tests and dentists.

We both lost family to Covid, and I have a double vaccinated friend who was really unwell though not hospitalised, so I'm probably more cautious than many. My son goes to nursery and that feels like enough of a risk.

Logicalky I know we're going to get it at some point and we'll probably be fine, but I'm finding it very hard switching off the fear. I do have an anxiety disorder and am aware this is not 'normal'.

@StylishMummy

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

Pp's have already stated that they would be happier when cases and hospitalisations are lower, which is perfectly sensible. I would argue that crowding together with no motivations during high case numbers shows more of a lack of critical thinking, especially when it contradicts medical advice. The sneery attitude of those who are 'concerned' about others mental health towards those who are being careful, for reasons you may not even know about, isn't helpful.

The problem is that we have learned these 'safety behaviours' like distancing and masks, and they are hard to unlearn- putting mask on makes you feel safe, which reinforces the behaviour even if there is no real safety benefit.