Finding Normality harder than I thought :(

[Dandy008]

I’m struggling with “normality” more than I thought I would.

I went back to work 8 months ago (before being vaccinated) and felt fine about it.
All distanced and Covid procedures in place.

DC started nursery 8 months and I felt fine about that too.

DH does a mixture of working form home and in the office.

I’ve eaten out, taken DC to soft play and weekly baby music classes.

All of which have been done with Covid restrictions in place.

I felt safer and happier then.

I was actually really excited about restrictions being lifted on the 19th, but since it’s actually happened I’m struggling with it.

I’ve eaten out twice and hated how busy it was, a local we went to previously has now added more tables and there’s very little distance between them.

Most places I go to, very little people wear masks.
I know they don’t HAVE to, but I just assumed more people would.

I’ve found myself feeling on edge when I’m out and Covid is always on my mind.

I ended up cancelling a meal with a friend last night, a friend I haven’t seen for 18 month, because I got myself a bit worked up about it.

I don’t know what I’m waiting for of when I expect I will feel better or more relaxed.

Is anyone else finding things as daunting as me?

@WindFlower92

I'm a bit surprised that post has been called nasty. If you're double jabbed then really what is the end point? At what number are the cases low enough? Are you going to be watching case numbers for the rest of your life? I've been very anxious this last year, but I feel that anxiety has burned out now!

Because not everybody HAS been double jabbed! My son in his 30's is awaiting his second jab, my ECV mother that I care for may have limited protection from the vaccine, so people who are arrogant enough to insist we all get back to normal and ditch masks can get lost frankly. Leave those who wish to be careful to get on with it. As time goes on and cases hopefully reduce then confidence will build, but the ridiculing of others that goes on is unpleasant at best.

I could have written your op word for word!!! Thank you, I was starting to feel like I was the only one

I know people think I'm being ridiculous but I just can't shake the anxiety, and I don't know why, I'm young fairly healthy and double vaxxed, i'm just not quite ready yet. I think I've got used to not having to be near people and I quite enjoyed it

I’m happy with not avoiding crowds but it doesn’t mean I will actively go to soft play and trampoline parks. I have been to many restaurants for example and not felt nervous. But I choose outdoor activities actively because it’s summer and it’s the right thing to do to limit spending time in crowded indoor places. Instead of softplay i took the children to country park play trails, go ape, treasure trails, etc. The only indoor one we are doing is ice skating. (And swimming lessons but I stay outdoors because of covid restrictions).

I think this is understandable OP. Just take it slow. Do what you’re comfortable with and build up.

I’m struggling. I’ll freely admit that. I felt safe with how things were. It’s not the reopening I’m struggling with, it’s people walking into me, breathing down my neck. It is their right to do so, but it doesn’t feel respectful to others. I’m now stuck in too worried to go out in case it’s too busy. I’m trying to force myself to do things as I have to for my kids. But it needs to feel safe and it doesn’t

I’ve seen long covid, and it’s scared me. 18 months on and the person I know with it is getting worse, not better.

Unfortunately most of the posters on here have developed covid anxiety. Defined as such because the level of anxiety and reactions to situations is disproportionate to the actual risk.
It’s taken 12-18 months of fear to get people into this state. It’s going to take a similar amount of time to get people out of it. Years in some cases. Other people will always have this new anxiety with them even when the pandemic is a distant memory in history.
It’s terribly sad. Life is so short and fleeting. I know from bitter experience that you can be here fine and well one day and literally the next gone.
Life is a gift. Live each day as if it’s your last. Each day is precious, make the most of it, enjoy new things, find joy beauty and wonder every day.
Each day you are wallowing in anxiety, not doing the things that make you happy, sitting at home (unless that actually brings you joy) is a day you will never get back.
If you have been double jabbed and are not CEV go out and enjoy every minute.

But last time cases got as high as recently it meant going into lockdown.
I only got 2nd jab yesterday im 41 and think takes 21 days so going to be cautious this August..
We were lucky our term time break I Devon was quiet we self catered went to quiet beach. Ate out in pub beer garden all low risk activities.
My birthday meal was very quite pure sat before freedom day.
I'm still wearing masks.
Trying to distance
Trying shop at quiet times.
Bulk cooking and shopping so in out and about less.
Still haven't visited parents as rates where they are low but ours is high.
Still have freindd to catch up with.

We will do walks. Park. Kids want go swimming and climbing.
We did theme park on Holiday and horse riding so they had fab holiday.
Eldest went paddleboarding with freind.

In relocation to shop unless need anything.
Eat out unless specific occasion or we are very hungry .

Nervous about kids return to school sept.
We haven't had covid and don't want it either.

I’m struggling for the opposite reason.

Where I live in Australia masks have only just been brought in. We currently have no known cases in the community but are expected to wear masks in shops, public transport and even encouraged to wear them in the office. People are wearing them outside to walk their dog and in their car while driving alone.

It’s really spiked my anxiety and I’ve found myself getting into lots of mask related arguments. It feels as though my world has just got smaller as I hate wearing masks and hate seeing people wearing them.

Oh and I’m not a Covid denier and had both jabs.

@bluetongue

I’m struggling for the opposite reason.

Where I live in Australia masks have only just been brought in. We currently have no known cases in the community but are expected to wear masks in shops, public transport and even encouraged to wear them in the office. People are wearing them outside to walk their dog and in their car while driving alone.

It’s really spiked my anxiety and I’ve found myself getting into lots of mask related arguments. It feels as though my world has just got smaller as I hate wearing masks and hate seeing people wearing them.

Yeah. Welcome to masksville. It’s horrible. Seeing less people wearing them this July where I am in England has been the best thing to happen all year so far.

I am finding normality really easy to fit into but I think that's because I was always ready to take my risk in the first place. My mind has always been in the realms of needing to live with it. I am vaccinated but only because I want to travel so now I am even at less risk (late 40s). DH had covid and is still suffering some 6 months on but is also of the mind that one life is for living and not existing.

I do think a lot of people are going to find it hard to adjust especially when you had adverts that said if you go out you may die and daily death reports.

I have not given it a second thought. I never have. I'm CEV, not vaccinated as I csnt be, I work a ridiculously risky job and I've had a bloody brilliant time at social events which have been just the same as before covid.
I'm sorry but we just have to learn to live with this now. Living in fear isn't rational.

@StylishMummy

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

I agree with you.

Well, we have been to the theatre, to a food festival, to the shopping mall, to 2 village craft fairs in the past week or 2.

The first 2 were outdoors, still wear masks indoors or if the crowd gets tight around us, still rather enjoy shopping, still have fun with my kids.

People who want to be careful might just want t be sensible?

Whitty - will be wearing masks indoors

JVT - bumpy time over this winter

Neither of them think this is all over.

We can still enjoy ourselves for now though.

And I would say, don't force it if you feel stressed. Go shopping, but at a quiet time. Find somewhere well ventilated etc.

Good luck.

We’ve been travelling this weekend. I should state I’m an nhs healthcare professional, I’m double vax and cautious. Covid is an awful illness. However life is moving. I choose to wear a mask as I’ve worn one in work and I’ve not caught COVID throughout even though I’ve had close contact. So I disagree with the premise masks do nothing. It’s not an exact science no but I’m keeping mine while cases high! I don’t wear one outside but inside and busy places yup.

The hotel we stayed in last night all staff had masks on. Most guests wore masks.

Two service stations we have been to all staff had masks on and I’d say a higher percentage of customers had masks on maybe 70/30 ish.

Maybe more people are cautious than we think. Especially as those that are aren’t arsed are often the more vocal and dismissive as previous posters have shown. We all need to live with COVID but how we do so is up to the individual.

I actually think the things I'm fearful of are not neccessarily getting ill, but the idea of potentially having it and unwittingly infecting someone else more vulnerable, and the consequences of having to isolate. Myself and DH work together - if one of us or DC had it (or had to isolate as a close contact) that would potentially mean not being able to work/no income for 10 days +. There was a thread on here recently about whether a 2nd (or 3rd) member of the household is infected, do you restart the 10 day isolation period from the latest person to catch it? So many posters thought the sensible thing was yes, and from an infection control purpose, probably it is, but who are all these people who can afford to take weeks off work? That probably worries me as much as covid itself.

I think anxiety is there to protect you - long Covid is still a serious risk. When the risk declines in a more consistent and reliable manner, you will gradually feel better. It might take some time - that's understandable. But it will.

I was surprised to see many Lidl staff no longer wearing masks whereas our local Asda and Tescos most staff still wear one. I did find it a bit disconcerting.

@OnTheBrink1

If you seriously think people have anxiety (and they may do, neither of us know..), which is a diagnosable mental illness, then suggesting they’re “wallowing” in it isn’t very helpful. I am not particularly anxious but I appreciate some people are.

The risk hasn't quite gone yet, that's why it feels so difficult to go back into normality for so many of us.

The current numbers are very possibly not very accurate at the moment, for a lot of reasons (people not testing or isolating because they don't want to miss out on holidays, people no longer doing LFTs now children aren't at school, etc), and the only way to know how the numbers are going is by the hospitalisations & deaths in the next few weeks. So this is a period of limbo, even though it does look like cases might be starting to drop gradually.

So it's not 'concerning' for some people to feel anxiety to some extent. We're being told there is no risk, and there are no restrictions, when - while there's less of a risk - it's not gone down enough for me or my family yet, personally. Other people have different levels of risk that they're comfortable with. I think a lot also depends on whether you have known people who have been seriously ill or died, or who have long covid. I imagine if you don't know people in that situation then this can all seem a bit overblown.

I keep an eye on the local figures to judge just the area I'm thinking of going about in. If you're lucky, while there might be high figures nationally, your city/town/area may have low incidences, which might help you feel better?

Also, yes, anxiety is a mental illness, but it shouldn't be confused with quite natural concern - which keeps you safe.
It's like comparing being afraid of bees & that affecting you going out, regardless of bees, with being afraid to walk past a bees nest that's right there.

There are still a lot of bees about. It's harder now to know how many, no-one's suggesting alternate routes any more, and there are some people skipping around saying that they've all gone and if you're worried then that's mental illness. It's not.

The risk hasn't quite gone yet

I’m not quite sure where you think it’s going. This is as good as it gets until we have (another) significant medical advance.

It's not at all as good as it gets yet.
We had a spike from the Euros and other big events, and the impact of night clubs, indoor socialising etc. hasn't caught up yet. It's now long enough from the breakup of schools to start to see that affecting cases. And every day more people are double jabbed.

I'm hopeful that the figures will actually start going down properly and more sustainably, but they won't just do that by us wanting it to happen and opening up everything.

I can kind of be reassuring and not at the same time. Ds and I went to London, we wore masks loads of people weren't. I'm vaccinated he isn't. He's got covid and been quite poorly. We're obviously self isolating.
I have mixed feelings about it all. Personally, whilst masks are inconvenient they are all small price to pay to live a relatively normal life.

It's the lack of consideration from others for others that gets me.