Finding Normality harder than I thought :(

[Dandy008]

I’m struggling with “normality” more than I thought I would.

I went back to work 8 months ago (before being vaccinated) and felt fine about it.
All distanced and Covid procedures in place.

DC started nursery 8 months and I felt fine about that too.

DH does a mixture of working form home and in the office.

I’ve eaten out, taken DC to soft play and weekly baby music classes.

All of which have been done with Covid restrictions in place.

I felt safer and happier then.

I was actually really excited about restrictions being lifted on the 19th, but since it’s actually happened I’m struggling with it.

I’ve eaten out twice and hated how busy it was, a local we went to previously has now added more tables and there’s very little distance between them.

Most places I go to, very little people wear masks.
I know they don’t HAVE to, but I just assumed more people would.

I’ve found myself feeling on edge when I’m out and Covid is always on my mind.

I ended up cancelling a meal with a friend last night, a friend I haven’t seen for 18 month, because I got myself a bit worked up about it.

I don’t know what I’m waiting for of when I expect I will feel better or more relaxed.

Is anyone else finding things as daunting as me?

I'm not saying everyone should or must wear masks indoors, but please don't kid yourself not doing so makes no difference to the spread of Covid.

I love the crowds being back, it’s nice to feel a buzz again! And not have to book everything weeks in advance!

But I’m not remotely worried about covid so 🤷🏼‍♀️ I mean, I’d rather not get it again but I inevitably will I’m sure, I had it in December & the world didn’t end. I’m double vaxxed & young-ish. The isolation would be pants though.

Just take your time OP. I do think we need to learn to live with it & those with anxiety need to find ways to feel normal. I know that must hard.

I have emetephobia & having two children really challenges that. I’ve had to push past my terror of stomach bugs & take my children to baby classes, softplay, trampolining etc .. all the germy ridden places kids love 😅 They also both go to nursery & I won’t lie, I feel a tad anxious until Saturday when I’m sure we are clear of any sick for that week! But I don’t let that anxiety take over, I’m not sure how really, I’ve never had therapy or anything but ive always stubbornly refused to let my silly phobia spoil my life. I do things to limit risk almost unconsciously now I think. I wash my hands regularly, I drink alcohol cautiously, I’m cautious about meat on BBQ’s (I thoroughly check it), I don’t go on anything that spins around in the park or funfair etc, my OH deals with the actual vomit bit of the kids are sick. I sort the laundry & give cuddles afterwards. Being pregnant was the scariest thing I’ve done as I knew I was purposefully doing something that could make me sick. But I desperately wanted kids. And the worst happened, I got Hyperemesis & was extremely sick. But I’m still here, it did end. & I even got through a second pregnancy (never again though).

I feel like it’s the same with covid, you either choose to let your fear take over or stubbornly refuse to let it. But you can take steps to help you feel safer like I do with the sick bugs. Wash your hands regularly, wear a mask if it helps, keep your distance best your can, choose places you feel more comfortable being in initially. And if ‘the worst’ happens and you get covid, you’ll most likely just feel shit for a few days & then life will go on.

I thought I was doing all the stuff (avoiding indoors etc) because we were supposed to, even though I wasn't afraid of covid. Now we are allowed to do what we like I find in not as fearless s I thought.

*motivations = mitigations.

I'm not saying everyone should or must wear masks indoors, but please don't kid yourself not doing so makes no difference to the spread of Covid.

......
BTW, I totally agree we need a balance between getting back to norm, healthy living and a good economy VS anti covid measures.

But in doing so we should still hold on to the scientific method and everything we know about this situation. And the "Indoor masks don't even do anything" brigade are doing the opposite of that.

I understand OP, I've been struggling too. However, with three DC's going back into school in September with almost no mitigations in place I see it as inevitable we will all catch covid at some point. I've struggled with this feeling of inevitability a lot but I've reached the point where I can no longer restrict my DC's lives in the hope covid will miraculously disappear. Its futile.

I really struggled with lockdown and mask wearing. I was told to shut up and get on with it and I did and just about survived. So, kindly, same advice. Just get on with it. You'll be fine.

@StylishMummy

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

Gosh if we could only all be as brisk and sensible as you.

Nothing wrong with starting to do things again slowly.

If you’re a healthy young woman, your personal risks are very very low OP. Rationally, I’m sure you know that.
Fear of course is not always rational. I’m afraid of flying tho I know it’s daft. However, I don’t let it stop me. I accept that I’m being daft and know that I want what flying brings me more than I want to avoid the feeling of fear.

So here’s the thing. If you want to see friends and family (and what’s the point of life otherwise) if you want your D.C. to experience this wonderful world, if you want to regain some of the experiences you lost yourself, then do it anyway.
In time the joy will outweigh the fear.

Reading this thread makes me even more concerned for people's mental health and critical thinking skills. Covid is going to be like the flu, in that we never have 0 Covid or 0 flu. Most people are now double vaccinated and masks have little to no impact on spread. The reactions on this thread probably mean you should put down the sensationalist newspapers and seek help for anxiety.

I actually agree with this. Unfortunately the government and scientists ramped up the fear level ( not conspiracy theory, but documented in SAGE minutes) and people are understandably scared because they have been manipulated into it.

Can you organise to meet up with people at a pub for lunch with outside cover or at a tearoom with tables outside? It is summer and another patch of hot weather is apparently due. I would rather be outside when the sun is shining anyhow.

I know I'm in the minority, but lock down helped our family in lots of ways -the general busyness has been very difficult to adjust to particularly crowds.

I remember how freaked out my mum was when she came from a quiet suburb to my city to visit, and I think its a similar shock of the unfamiliar - so I'm just trying to take my time and not overload with the social side.

@Bobholll I know this isn’t the point of the thread but I’m exactly the same! I admire that you don’t let it take over your life and I’m desperately trying to be more like that. I’ve been really nervous about the easing of restrictions but not because of COVID, just because I know chances of catching a sickness bug have increased… it’s utter madness I know!

Take your time and do things you enjoy.

The "brisk" people out there can do as they please. You don't have to please then however😉.

We went away on holiday and ate out a lot. It got me over the hump.

I plan to stay outside at cafes and bars a lot more anyway because I found as a side effect it helped me feel far better through the winter!

@Lovelydovey I’m sorry for your losses

@Dandy008 I’m avoiding crowded places and wearing a mask if I must go in them.
I’m surprised at how many people aren’t wearing them.
Cases are high in my part of the country.
Work is fine as I’m NHS and we still have full infection control measures in place, masks, social distancing etc.

I'm a bit surprised that post has been called nasty. If you're double jabbed then really what is the end point? At what number are the cases low enough? Are you going to be watching case numbers for the rest of your life? I've been very anxious this last year, but I feel that anxiety has burned out now!

It’s a mixture for me. I’m absolutely delighted that restaurants, kids’ activities, pools etc are open, but I try to make decisions that minimise my risk a bit. So I meet friends and have them in my home, but keep windows open. Will eat out, but in outdoor spaces rather than inside. We’ve kept temperature checks going at work.

I think it’s understandable that people will feel anxious for a while. But if you have experience of anxiety then you know that avoidance only compounds it. You should probably ‘face your fears’ even if it’s just little things every so often.

Wish social distancing was still there at a minimum. Absolutely hate people standing pressed against me in any setting and preferred I when people didn't stop to talk to me.

You are not alone op.

It is not possible to diagnose anxiety over the internet. It has been a weird time and some discomfort with these things is understandable.

Go at your own pace and do what makes you feel comfortable and find stuff that you enjoy over the summer.

It is totally understandable if people are concerned if they have suffered bereavements due to COVID. TBH the faux concern about mental heath after the post where someone lost both parents shows a serious inability to read the room. A phrase which popped up regularly throughout the Pandemic when people were suffering with Mental Heath issues due to Lockdown even when we weren't in Lockdown.

Sorry for your losses @Lovelydovey.

I hope @StylishMummy didn't see the previous post before posting.

You are definitely not alone OP. I'll be taking things very slowly and would feel a lot happier if people wore masks indoors. There were noticeably fewer this weekend than last. I'm double vaccinated but as I'm taking part in a research project I know that they haven't really worked and I have minimal protection. I do go and meet friends but only outdoors while rates are so high. Even that feels unsafe at times. I visited a friend in her garden last week, chatting to her daughter. The daughter (vaccinated) has now tested positive for the second time in 4 weeks (confirmed) and is really unwell.

@NannyAndJohn

You're far from alone, OP.

Cases are sky high, and hospitalisations and deaths are still rising - it's perfectly normal to want to be cautious.

We're staying at home and only going out for essentials.

All the things you want to do can easily be replaced with home-based alternatives - think of a takeaway instead of eating out or a Zoom call instead of a social event.

@NannyAndJohn

I can’t live like that, especially if I don’t HAVE to.
The compulsory lockdowns were hard enough.
I just can’t stay at home, it makes me feel so much worse. Plus I have a young child and can’t inflict that on them.

I guess I’m in that place where I want to get back to normal, I don’t want to leave in fear, but resuming a normal life is feeling much more difficult than I had imagined.