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Original poster

Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

999 replies

blue12345 · 07/07/2021 21:36

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

OP posts:
HerrenaHarridan · 10/07/2021 19:19

I got the vaccine to protect other people first and foremost.

It’s a tiny risk to me (as well as a big benefit if course) as a healthy adult and I see it as my social duty to get it as a healthy person to help protect those who can’t have it.

I know that altruistic kind of behaviour is foreign to some people but maybe don’t shout about it so loudly if you want people to think well of you

Fortunately judging by the vaccine uptake rates more people veer on the side of pro-social behaviour... and thank fuck for that

MarianneUnfaithful · 10/07/2021 19:41

I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted

Allowed in interpersonal relationships?

Having exercised your free choice, your rightful bodily autonomy, you now think people shouldn’t be allowed to keep their distance from you, should be forced to have you over for coffee etc?

You made your decision based on your own perception of risk. Maybe vaccinated friends are doing the same. Seeing non-vaccinated people as a greater risk of infection, and of catching and spreading COVID allowing new variants to develop.

You made a decision that affects others. People are allowed to make decisions that affect you.

MarianneUnfaithful · 10/07/2021 19:44

Nobody should be calling anyone a cunt, and the reason that all this of us that can get vaccinated should take the opportunity is precisely because to protect people with actual medical conditions that preclude the vaccination.

Holdingontonothing · 10/07/2021 20:04

"I don't care about others' health or other impacts, but I want them to care about my feelings waaaa"

Basically the sum of this.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 10/07/2021 20:09

I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted

It's called consequences of a selfish decision.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/07/2021 20:16

Xenobitch

So my "friend" of many years calling me a selfish cunt and cutting off contact because I wont have the vaccine (severe trypanophobia) is fine... good for him, yeah?

Of course the abuse is not fine. Cutting off contact is. You made your decision, he’s equally entitled to make his.

XenoBitch · 10/07/2021 20:20

@MrsSkylerWhite

Xenobitch

So my "friend" of many years calling me a selfish cunt and cutting off contact because I wont have the vaccine (severe trypanophobia) is fine... good for him, yeah?

Of course the abuse is not fine. Cutting off contact is. You made your decision, he’s equally entitled to make his.

Don't you think it bizarre to cut ties with someone because they can't go through with a medical procedure?

I can understand people wanting to meet outside or something like that... but calling time on the friendship makes no sense to me. I would not consider doing it to anyone else because of medical decisions they make.

If that is what the vaccine does to people then I am kind of glad I am not having it.

whymewhyme · 10/07/2021 20:23

Wakey wakey.....your like a cult!!!

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/07/2021 20:26

Xenobitch“

Don't you think it bizarre to cut ties with someone because they can't go through with a medical procedure?“

No, I don’t think it’s bizarre actually. It’s simply made him reassess and decide that you weren’t the person he had thought you were.

There are two medical procedures I find offensive for personal reasons, which to me say something about the person who is having/facilitating them. If a long-term friend announced one of them, I would reassess my feelings for them.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/07/2021 20:29

Wouldn’t swear at them about it though!

XenoBitch · 10/07/2021 20:30

@MrsSkylerWhite

Xenobitch“

Don't you think it bizarre to cut ties with someone because they can't go through with a medical procedure?“

No, I don’t think it’s bizarre actually. It’s simply made him reassess and decide that you weren’t the person he had thought you were.

There are two medical procedures I find offensive for personal reasons, which to me say something about the person who is having/facilitating them. If a long-term friend announced one of them, I would reassess my feelings for them.

He has known me a long time and he knows why I can not go through with having the vaccine. Somehow in his head, he thought aiming vitriol at me would make my mental health issue magically vanish and I would go skipping merrily to a vaccine centre. No offer of support... just abuse.

But it that seems to be perfectly acceptable behaviour according to MN. Even people posting here with various anxieties about the vaccine get told to get a grip.

XenoBitch · 10/07/2021 20:34

There are two medical procedures I find offensive for personal reasons, which to me say something about the person who is having/facilitating them. If a long-term friend announced one of them, I would reassess my feelings for them

But this is not having one.

stoneysongs · 10/07/2021 23:19

[quote bumbleymummy]@singingstones our ‘leftover’ vaccines are supposed to go to poorer countries. Although I think it would be a great idea to give people the option to actively donate their dose.[/quote]
We have, or have on order, many times more vaccines than we need. Boris Johnson has so far refused to share them, despite promising to do so. 'Selfish' people turning up for their jabs are not the problem. You're better off writing to your MP or signing a petition or something, unless you think that the dose you refuse will be the one to change BJ's mind.

leafyygreens · 10/07/2021 23:25

@MrsSkylerWhite

Xenobitch“

Don't you think it bizarre to cut ties with someone because they can't go through with a medical procedure?“

No, I don’t think it’s bizarre actually. It’s simply made him reassess and decide that you weren’t the person he had thought you were.

There are two medical procedures I find offensive for personal reasons, which to me say something about the person who is having/facilitating them. If a long-term friend announced one of them, I would reassess my feelings for them.

off subject, but I am really curious as to what these two medical procedures are @MrsSkylerWhite?

I can't think of any medical procedures I'd find offensive if someone chose to have to it done.

FGM on a female relative yes of course, but that's the closest I can think of and isn't what you're referring to!

leafyygreens · 10/07/2021 23:28

@bumbleymummy

Even more reason to have an ‘opt out and donate’ system so the government have an idea of how many ‘spare’ doses they’ll have to donate.
this isn't how it works

you saying you're not having a jab purely for altruistic reasons so it could go to someone in a different country wouldn't make a jot of difference. They need support in setting up large vax centres and the logistics of rolling out a mass vaccination programme. Many countries wouldn't be able to accept pfizer/moderna due to the cold chain needed.

The best thing you could genuinely do is accept the jab, contribute to herd immunity, and lobby your MP to donate funds to allow this to happen

pyjamams13 · 10/07/2021 23:31

I would try not to worry too much. The media has made out that vaccine uptake is high but I know lots of people who haven't had it and will not be getting it.

miltonj · 10/07/2021 23:32

@DoubleDeckerSwimmer

I just am baffled how many of you think it's ok to just cut contact with a friend based on one viewpoint, having never given them other reasons to doubt me before.

Uuummm... being blunt, because this viewpoint could - at its worst - potentially kill someone?

I would be the same if I suddenly found out someone was a drink driver, for example. Or took hard drugs. Or treated their pets badly.

Not getting the covid vaccine I'd not the same as abusing animals.
gnushoes · 10/07/2021 23:40

Ever heard of Typhoid Mary? How many mates do you think she had? It's a pandemic, we're all pissed off with it and the more people who have the vaccine (and wear masks, self isolate, do the socially responsible stuff) the more likely we are to come out of this sooner. So anyone who doesn't do that, maybe because they calculate the vaccine is too risky for them, is likely to irritate those who've taken the same risk for the greater good or simply because they want to feel protected. And since some are still being infected despite vaccination, avoiding you is a sensible move. I don't understand your indignation. Why should we love you even though you're not supporting a group endeavour?

Bovrilly · 10/07/2021 23:50

I honestly think that some people aren't capable of doing something for others, especially people they don't know. You see it often on various threads. If you can't compute doing something for the greater good, it must not ring true when people say that's what they're doing. So you look for other reasons, usually sheeple, MSM / govt propaganda, not doing research, being frightened of Covid. (Which is actually a good reason to have the vaccine even if you don't have any feelings of social responsibility.)

Bythemillpond · 10/07/2021 23:54

I am not having the vaccine as I get extremely unwell with vaccines. The flu one I had 2 years running as I was assured the “side effects” I had was because I was probably already infected with flu. Except I had the same issues the next year. I was off my feet for 6 weeks each time. I might as well of had full blown flu I doubt it would have lasted as long. Even as a child I have had terrible reactions to being vaccinated. So much so that my mother who was always big on vaccinations refused to take me for any more

I would feel upset if someone was badgering me to get the vaccine saying otherwise we couldn’t be friends.
I would just have to let them go.

Bythemillpond · 10/07/2021 23:55

gnushoes

You do realise that you can still be Typhoid Mary even if you are double vaccinated

bumbleymummy · 11/07/2021 00:01

@Porridgeislife

I have opened my eyes. I’m well aware I’m unlikely to die of Covid. However, the BMJ are reporting that one third of people in the UK who have had Covid now have long Covid.

Having struggled for a year in my early twenties to get over glandular fever, I’ve got no interest in exposing myself to post viral illness, so vaccine it is.

No they aren’t.
leafyygreens · 11/07/2021 00:12

@Bythemillpond

gnushoes

You do realise that you can still be Typhoid Mary even if you are double vaccinated

On a group level you're far less likely to be.
Micemakingclothes · 11/07/2021 00:28

You need to own your decision. Be honest that you are choosing to decline. Yes, you may have friends and family that won’t socialize with you. That is their call. You have no right to make that decision for them.

I would have no choice but to avoid you completely whether you were a colleague, friend, or family member because that is what we have been advised to do by medical professionals given my Dh’s condition. You would be surprised at how many families are facing similar situations.