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Original poster

Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

999 replies

blue12345 · 07/07/2021 21:36

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

OP posts:
GirlAloud · 07/07/2021 21:58

You are entitled to decide to refuse to be vaccinated, OP, but others are also entitled to decide whether they want to associate with vaccine refusers who they view as stupid, selfish or both.

Attheendofthedaywhenallsaid · 07/07/2021 21:59

@UpSlyDown what a sly and nasty comment.

OP Its your choice. I would suggest your feeling sensitive as its constantly in the news (I mean obsessively). Your friends and family probably don't judge you as much as you think, and it will all blow over. My advice: don't listen to LBC, don't participate in social media - and don't mention you haven't been vaccinated on mums net!!!!!! (its tantamount to admitting genocide!)

minipie · 07/07/2021 21:59

But it's as if now I'm making a conscious decision to be unvaccinated, versus before when everyone was unvaccinated, it's worse?

Yes, you are now a person who has made a conscious decision to be unvaccinated. That’s going to change people’s perception of you and may affect how much they want to be friends with you.

Original poster
blue12345 · 07/07/2021 21:59

Hospitalisation rates and deaths are not rising in relation to higher cases though, which means the most vulnerable are protected.

Lots of you have replied and said that the vaccinated can still get Covid. I understand that, but breakthrough infections are meant to be rare and also mild? This is supposedly the benefit of a vaccine that millions of people have taken. What then is the point if they're still afraid to mix with society? In case they get mild Covid?

I just am baffled how many of you think it's ok to just cut contact with a friend based on one viewpoint, having never given them other reasons to doubt me before.

OP posts:
Twoforthree · 07/07/2021 22:00

But you are a greater risk to them than you would be if you had the vaccine.

Dragongirl10 · 07/07/2021 22:01

COVID is a very nasty virus why would anyone socialise with you if it increased their risk of catching it?

Voice0fReason · 07/07/2021 22:01

If you are comfortable with your decision, tell them so they can make an informed choice as to whether to socialise closely with you.
It's not just about whether THEY are vulnerable, they could have friends or relatives who are and they don't want to be the one who passes it on to them.

IRanSoFarAway1 · 07/07/2021 22:01

This reply has been deleted

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Sloaneslone · 07/07/2021 22:03

Because I think its ok to cut contact with anyone, if that's what you want.

No one owes you their presence in your life.

MySocalledLoaf · 07/07/2021 22:03

You’re assuming they are afraid for themselves. They might just dislike your point of view. I distance myself from people who fall for pseudoscience because it means they don’t value my work at all, and aren’t worth my time. I’m not scared of getting COVID at all.

Twoforthree · 07/07/2021 22:03

And I think you are justifying your decision to yourself by underestimating the potential impact of long covid etc. And don’t forget hospital figures and deaths are three weeks behind cases. They are already increasing…

TheKeatingFive · 07/07/2021 22:03

Hospitalisation rates and deaths are not rising in relation to higher cases though, which means the most vulnerable are protected.

Not entirely, no.

Yes the serious cases are a much lower percentage of the total, but they haven’t gone away entirely.

Original poster
blue12345 · 07/07/2021 22:03

@AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit

@yeOldeTrout

At least I'm not totally on my own. Smile

How have you found it?

I'm actually getting anxious reading all the comments. It makes me so upset to think that people think of me like this.

OP posts:
PattyPan · 07/07/2021 22:04

@topcat2014

I would find it hard to understand someone un vaccinated.

You have the right to do so, of course, but don't expect others to 'understand'.

You would fall into the vegan, woo woo, fruit loop category for me.

I wish you the best though.

Hmm Um, I’m a vegan, I’m having the vaccine and my DP is a scientist. Please don’t associate us with fruit loops!
DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 07/07/2021 22:05

I am a teacher and many, many friends have not seen me in person since February 2020. That is their choice to reduce their own risk. Sometimes it makes me sad but it is a totally valid decision.

Your friends do not owe it to you to take a health risk to see you if they do not wish to do so, just as mine did not.

BoredZelda · 07/07/2021 22:05

What then is the point if they're still afraid to mix with society?

Ahh, here is where the judgment creeps in. Make your decision and be happy with it. They've made theirs and can choose to do what they wish. It isn’t up to you to insist they are comfortable with your decision.

fadingfast · 07/07/2021 22:05

If you were one of my friends, I would probably think of you very differently if I knew that you had chosen not to be vaccinated. Many people are wanting to limit the risks to themselves and to their families. Yes it’s your choice not to have it but I can completely understand why your friends are choosing to keep their distance.

PattyPan · 07/07/2021 22:06

OP, you have to weigh up how strongly you feel about your reasons for not having the vaccine vs how much you want to avoid the consequences of not getting it (people avoiding you, not being allowed to go places, quarantine etc).

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 07/07/2021 22:08

I just am baffled how many of you think it's ok to just cut contact with a friend based on one viewpoint, having never given them other reasons to doubt me before.

Uuummm... being blunt, because this viewpoint could - at its worst - potentially kill someone?

I would be the same if I suddenly found out someone was a drink driver, for example. Or took hard drugs. Or treated their pets badly.

HSHorror · 07/07/2021 22:08

I dont call 40% of people vaxxed double AZ with delta getting it low amount of breakthrough. It's almost half still get it. !
It's likely why the cases are sky high.

Clickbait · 07/07/2021 22:08

OP, I've had the vaccine for a few different reasons. One of them, genuinely, was for the "greater good" reason, not just for my own personal benefit. Sorry to sound smug but it was. So that's why people judge you. Because you're not prepared to do the same.

Rosiestraws · 07/07/2021 22:09

The other point I would think about is that if everyone took your stance on vaccinations we would still be in a lockdown and cases/deaths rising exponentially. The only reason your friends even have the OPTION of choosing to see you or not is because the vast majority of people have chosen to get vaccinated. (And taken whatever risks you may view as preventing you from having).
I find it very frustrating when people refusing to have the vaccines don't seem to acknowledge this fact...

CaramelFlat · 07/07/2021 22:09

It's a pretty massive difference in viewpoints, though! If people find out that you are very different from them in your values, then I'm not surprised they have changed their minds about you - you aren't the person that they thought you were, you're willing to put them and others at risk, you have different views on which authorities you trust, it's just a whole different value system in many ways. And you're perfectly entitled to make those choices, but obviously other people are going to think differently of you. It's not a little difference of opinion.

With the new variant, no, breakthroughs are not nearly as rare, and not necessarily mild, and all the increased infections make the chance of getting a variant that properly escapes vaccines is higher.

The vaccine has done tremendous work. But it's not going to prevent everything, and people who don't have it are continuing the problem. It's your choice to do that, but also their choice to get fed up with you.

Twoforthree · 07/07/2021 22:09

@DoubleDeckerSwimmer

I am a teacher and many, many friends have not seen me in person since February 2020. That is their choice to reduce their own risk. Sometimes it makes me sad but it is a totally valid decision.

Your friends do not owe it to you to take a health risk to see you if they do not wish to do so, just as mine did not.

Understandable of your friends, but sad.

I avoided my elderly relatives because I too, work in a school.

And it’s not through our own preferred choice , unlike the op.

Amotherlife · 07/07/2021 22:09

Well I wouldn't (don't) think much of people who choose not to have the vaccine when there's no medical reason to avoid it. The more who are vaccinated, the safer everyone is. I feel it's a selfish stand point, sorry. An old friend of mine hasn't either - shes in a vulnerable age group too. I'm not impressed though I would still meet her probably. (We only see each other every few years)