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Original poster

Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

999 replies

blue12345 · 07/07/2021 21:36

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

OP posts:
roguetomato · 08/07/2021 08:42

"How dare you try and dictate what someone puts into their body. It's really rude"

But no one has tried to dictate. None of the poster has said the OP should take a vaccine, just pointing out that her friends has choice too, to distance themselves for whatever reason they have.

TheKeatingFive · 08/07/2021 08:43

OP if everyone did what you’re doing, we would be left with these options.

Living under high levels of lockdown for years, until, I don’t know, Covid decides to go away.

Letting it rip and resulting in hundreds of thousands of more deaths.

Which of those do you advocate? And why are they better options than taking the vaccines?

movingadviceneeded · 08/07/2021 08:44

You have changed in the eyes of your friends. They now see you as a risk. So yes - you have changed to them, by making this decision. You are more likely to become very sick if you catch covid. Then you may have very little choice about what goes into your body.

No judgement, just facts.

TheKeatingFive · 08/07/2021 08:45

No one is denying that the vaccines have side affects. It’s that Covid has considerably more side affects. Even if you personally are low risk, that applies to society at large.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 08/07/2021 08:49

All my friends and relatives have had the vaccine. I wouldn’t be too keen on maintaining a friendship with someone who turned it down tbh. It would be the end of the friendship for me.

Theworldisfullofgs · 08/07/2021 08:53

You chose to leave the herd, it is a bit sad, it was your choice.

This

RhubarbTea · 08/07/2021 08:56

Haven't read any of the comments but OP, I feel exactly the same and am with you 100%. You're not alone (even if it feels like it at times).

Cactuslockdown · 08/07/2021 08:57

My DB has chosen not to have the vaccine. No medical reason, just unsure about future side effects. It has changed my opinion of him. He spends a lot of time with my DPs and I’m annoyed he is putting them at extra risk. It feels selfish to me. As others said he’s happy for us to take the risk for him to reap the benefits.

MareofBeasttown · 08/07/2021 08:58

Wow this is still going. Why can't you meet your friends outside? I have a non-vaccinated friend who has not taken the vaccine so far because of health anxiety. I met her outside in a cafe after I was double vaxxed. That seems to me a good compromise.

I should say that my friend is now changing her mind because she wants to go to the States.

BananasAboutBananas · 08/07/2021 09:00

I was sitting in my car last week watching a constant stream of lovely smiling teenagers and a twenty-somethings heading in and out of the vaccination centre by my office and got quite emotional. Because it reminded me that we are in this together, and these youngsters who aren't likely to drop dead of COVID are helping create a layer of protection around all of us. It choked me up to feel such a true sense of community - you've chosen not to be part of that, so yes it would change how I saw you.

Original poster
blue12345 · 08/07/2021 09:01

@MiddleParking Thanks for your kind comment.

Does your extended circle include only
your own personal friends? Mine doesn't, mine includes my uncle's friend who was advised not to get second vaccine after side effects, a clotting incident after a vaccine in a cousin and horrific period issues after the vaccine in a friend.

@Whyarewehardofthinking I can completely understand why you have made your decision, after being exposed to so much Covid. I'm very sorry that has happened to you. That has not been my experience at
all and I can only make my decision based on my own experiences, plus the median ages generally affected severely by Covid, as recorded in official government data.

OP posts:
mrshoho · 08/07/2021 09:04

I know one person, a colleague and friend who decided against the vaccine. I respect her decision and I haven't changed my behaviour towards her. She has her reasons and afaik is the only staff member unvaccinated now.

MiddleParking · 08/07/2021 09:07

You’re welcome. And no, in no way would I consider someone’s uncle’s friend to be ‘part of their extended circle’. Nor would I be particularly inclined to believe an implausible story they told me about them.

Unicornish · 08/07/2021 09:07

Person makes selfish decision. Their friends and family think differently about them as a result. Why is this difficult for you to grasp? Confused

You're absolutely within your rights to refuse the vaccine, as self-centred, antisocial and stupid as that decision is. But no one has to cheerlead that decision for you, and no one has to be your friend afterwards.

BungleandGeorge · 08/07/2021 09:09

I think you’re looking at it in a very simplistic way that your friends are vaccinated. If they are in contact with someone with covid (and you are much more likely to be that person) it may force them to self isolate with loss of earnings, inconvenience of not being able to take kids to school or care for elderly relatives, cancelling holidays, activities, meetings etc. And that’s before you even consider them actually getting covid with wider effects of having to isolate the entire family. They may not be especially vulnerable but most people have family or friends who are. Surely you must see why people are distancing themselves from you?

Terhou · 08/07/2021 09:09

I am simply pointing out there are all kinds of ways to behave selfishly. Lots of people believe I am being selfish by not getting vaccinated for the greater good. I believe that we could have helped the vulnerable of the world by vaccinating our vulnerable first and then sharing our vaccines with poorer countries before vaccinating the younger and healthy in our country.

We are already sending vaccines to poorer countries. Why does that mean we should suspend vaccination for the younger members of the population? It simply makes no sense whatsoever - if we leave such a large swathe of the population unvaccinated, we will increase the chances of new variants incubating. And we are now seeing more Covid deaths and cases of long Covid amongst the younger population.

TableFlowerss · 08/07/2021 09:09

Well that’s the price you pay for your decisions. I didn’t want to get the vaccine at all but I did begrudgingly. So if I had to then I feel like why should others not have to?

So if someone told me proudly they didn’t get vaccinated, I’d understand their reasons for not wanting to but I’d resent the fact they get ti ride on the wave of everyone else that got it.

TheDevils · 08/07/2021 09:11

That has not been my experience at
all and I can only make my decision based on my own experiences, plus the median ages generally affected severely by Covid, as recorded in official government data.

So you aren't getting vaccinated because only old people die of covid? What about the impact of long covid on younger people - you haven't acknowledged that.
And what about children and young people who can't have the vaccine because of medical issues so therefore rely on the rest of us to have them to offer some protection to society as a whole? Don't they matter?

Bovrilly · 08/07/2021 09:13

Why is no one commenting on the numerous people on this thread who have given examples of vaccine side effects?

Because they are anecdotal. Here you go: I have had two doses of the vaccine and had no side effects apart from a sore arm. Convinced now that the vaccine is safe?

Maybe not, as I'm just one person. Try this: all my friends and family are vaccinated apart from the children. None of them have had any serious side effects. I work in a vaccine centre which vaccinates 1000 people per day on average. Nearly everyone at the moment is coming for their second vaccination and none of them report any serious side effects.

TableFlowerss · 08/07/2021 09:14

@Cactuslockdown

My DB has chosen not to have the vaccine. No medical reason, just unsure about future side effects. It has changed my opinion of him. He spends a lot of time with my DPs and I’m annoyed he is putting them at extra risk. It feels selfish to me. As others said he’s happy for us to take the risk for him to reap the benefits.
*It feels selfish to me. As others said he’s happy for us to take the risk for him to reap the benefits*

This is exactly how I feel.

Bovrilly · 08/07/2021 09:14

I am just being cautious for a vaccine that in my eyes, is more of a risk to me than catching Covid would

Your eyes are wrong.

Original poster
blue12345 · 08/07/2021 09:16

@MiddleParking But I know my uncle's
friend and have met him on multiple occasions? He's not some stranger?

You also skipped over my cousin and friend, also part of my extended circle? Do you not believe me about them either?

Anyway, I have spent hours on this thread, not trying to change anyone's opinion, but just trying to show that there are different perspectives on everything. Nothing is black and white. It is just so odd to me, that some people on this thread would brand someone
who has always had their vaccines as an anti-vaxxer.

OP posts:
Madhairday · 08/07/2021 09:16

@TheKeatingFive

OP if everyone did what you’re doing, we would be left with these options.

Living under high levels of lockdown for years, until, I don’t know, Covid decides to go away.

Letting it rip and resulting in hundreds of thousands of more deaths.

Which of those do you advocate? And why are they better options than taking the vaccines?

I suspect that the OP thinks the latter would be fine because 'it's only the very old and frail who die'. Their posts are crammed with covid minimising and for me, it's not only the refusal to have the vaccine that would cause me to draw back, but the OPs views on covid and her use of the numbers of healthy under 65s to prove that we should all stop worrying and just let nature take its cause. Because that's what she's saying.

I'm not sure the OP has understood all the societal effects of letting covid rip, let alone the fact that the many thousands of under 65s who have died of covid may have 'underlying conditions', but these range from asthma through to diabetes through to a broken femur. Yet you OP have counted them amongst the old and frail who it is somehow okay to discount in all of this.

And that's not starting on the crippling disabling effects of long covid for hundreds of thousands of people, including young people.

I think people here have been very measured. They have said you have the choice, but your choice means consequences, so you either own that choice or you don't. Your friends have choice too, and they too should not be dictated to about what they allow to happen to their bodies / the bodies of those they love.

I'm CEV so I'm very sadly keeping away from friends who choose not to vaccinate (hardly any, thankfully.)

Arsebucket · 08/07/2021 09:18

Not read all the replies but i’m the same OP.

Only I don’t know anyone, so no judgement.

Only comments have been from in laws telling me that I’d have to isolate after a holiday or if someone in a restaurant near me tested positive, much handwringing over that from them. And totally forgetting that the last time we could afford a holiday was 2012 and we’ve not been out to eat, or a pub or cafe in bloody years, I’ve basically been isolating for the past 6 years (I live one of those incredibly small, skint lives that don’t go down well on MN).

Bovrilly · 08/07/2021 09:18

If Covid had killed millions of children and young people, I would stick a rusty needle in my arm to protect them. To me , that would be worth the greater good. Even if the median age of death had been 60, I would still think it was taking it away people in their prime

Getting pretty dystopian here OP. So where's your limit? At what age do you deem someone's life no longer worth protecting?