Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

[blue12345]

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

Well do you understand why others feel as they do? Can you see their side?

@TheKeatingFive

If any of them were medically vulnerable, of course? But lots of them are already double vaccinated, none are vulnerable, so surely they are confident that the vaccine they've taken has worked?

Nothing has fundamentally changed since we spent time together in other lulls in the Pandemic, when case rates were higher and the vulnerable and elderly were unvaccinated. But it's as if now I'm making a conscious decision to be unvaccinated, versus before when everyone was unvaccinated, it's worse?

Your completely within your rights to decline the vaccine. Just as they are within their rights to make decisions on who they socialise with based on risk. It’s sad and I feel for people who choose not to have the vaccine as there will clearly be implications but…it’s your choice.

People can be friends with whomever they wish, it isn’t that they are now “allowed” to let the friendship wane. If they’ve reached their limit with you, it’s up to them.

You are comfortable with your decision. It's not reasonable to expect everyone else to be, it affects them too. Vaccinated people are still getting sick, albeit generally not severely. You are significantly more likely to catch and spread covid if you are not vaccinated, so you are still a risk to other people. The more COVID spreads, the greater chance of a vaccine-defeating variant which will kill and disable more people and shut the economy down again. You know all this, right?

You have your (unstated) reasons, it's your call.

I'm not having it either OP xx

But no vaccine that has ever existed worked in every person, every time. Nobody knows how protected they are. Besides, many of us care about the vulnerable in society, not only about our risk of getting it.

I have a close family member whose type of cancer means they are unlikely to have any benefits from their vaccine. We have made the decision not to have contact with the few friends they have who chose not to have the vaccine. The risk to my family member who would almost certainly face severe complications is not worth it. Of course you can choose not to be vaccinated but those of us who are can choose to minimise contact with you.

This isn't a new thing. Lots of people choose, where possible, to not mix with unvaccinated people.

You will still have to isolate with contact.

Maybe they see you as prolonging the pandemic.

I dont think picking your friends based on your beliefs and value sets is a new thing OP.

I would find it hard to understand someone un vaccinated.

You have the right to do so, of course, but don't expect others to 'understand'.

You would fall into the vegan, woo woo, fruit loop category for me.

I wish you the best though.

It's not really a new thing, though. Some I care about has had an organ transplant, and since them I've always prioritised his well-being over the comfort of people who choose not to get vaccinated.

I agree with you finding it all dismaying, OP.

Infuriates & saddens me, too.

Totally appreciate everyone's opinions on this, but why? I'm the same person, I have known many of these people for decades. I'm not endangering them. I'm making a medical decision for myself. I have taken other vaccines for the greater good, for myself and my family.

But I'm not willing to do that for this vaccine currently.

I give blood for the greater good. . I don't speed. I give to charity. I volunteer. All
things others don't do. I don't judge anyone their decisions.

I am just so sad that this decision of mine has to be so public. I don't bring up the vaccines, I would NEVER ask them about their vaccines.

"but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed,"

I think there are other forms of segregation to be sadder about.

The vaccine works very well and reduces risk but it does not eliminate it, it is not a magic cloak that protects those who have had it from any chance of contracting covid.

By choosing not to have the vaccine (and you are completely entitled to make that choice) you are more likely to contract and transmit covid than a vaccinated person and so are more of a "risk" if that makes sense. People who are keen to be particularly cautious may therefore be less keen to spend time with you.

I think you may just need to accept that just as you have a choice about whether to have the vaccine, others have the choice about how they react to your decision.

If any of them were medically vulnerable, of course? But lots of them are already double vaccinated, none are vulnerable, so surely they are confident that the vaccine they've taken has worked?

I expect they’re well aware that vaccines don’t prevent infection or transmission 100% and they don’t want to get ill themselves (even mildly) or pass it on to someone vulnerable.

Infection levels are high right now. Much higher than this time last year.

Just accept it. Your friends have seen a side of you they didnt know before and they (apparently) dont like it much. You may not have changed but now they know you a little better. Bit weird to criticise them for acting in their best interests when that's exactly what you are doing.

You’re not the same person, they’ve found out something about you that has made them realise that you aren’t who they thought you were.

I'm not endangering them.

That would only be true if the vaccines were 100% effective. They aren’t.

And they may not be thinking of themselves, but the vulnerable that they in turn could pass it on to.

@Sloaneslone

This isn't a new thing. Lots of people choose, where possible, to not mix with unvaccinated people.

Exactly. It's not new. Look at all the topics there have been on here over the years about parents who choose not to have their children vaccinated - they're not very popular either!

I think you may just need to accept that just as you have a choice about whether to have the vaccine, others have the choice about how they react to your decision.

Basically this

But you aren't the same person.

I can think of all the people I know and guess those that wont have the vaccine. And those that will.

My guess would be based on their previous behaviour. If you do something unexpected, it can change peoples perception of you. Because they felt they knew you but have seen they don't.

The fact is, that you are comfortable with your choice. Allow them their choice.

And let's be honest, if you think not having the vaccine isn't a big deal. You think these people are distancing from you, over nothing.

Are the people you want close relationships with? People who distance themselves over something that's not important?

I think it is important. But you clearly don't, which is up to you

I understand how you feel- we would never normally ask about vaccinations
Unfortunately it will become more noticable for you when you have to isolate for 10 days and others with vaccinations wont.