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Covid

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Original poster

Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

999 replies

blue12345 · 07/07/2021 21:36

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

OP posts:

MrsLCSofLichfield · 07/07/2021 22:09

@Dragongirl10 - quite so. 'Mild' COVID means that you are not unwell enough to be hospitalised. I've had it and it was really fucking unpleasant, with lingering after-effects which took months to go away. It's not a bloody cold, and none of us get a guarantee that we'll get milder symptoms if we catch it again, even once we are vaccinated. It's a novel virus, the efficacy of the vaccines is still being tested in real life.

If you choose not to get vaccinated when you could, you are putting more risk on both yourself and others, and you are also showing that you are happy for them to take the (miniscule) risks of vaccination but you won't do the same for them. It's a form of freeloading.

GirlAloud · 07/07/2021 22:10

I'm actually getting anxious reading all the comments. It makes me so upset to think that people think of me like this.

Tough.

Actions have consequences. Your refusal to be vaccinated puts others at risk, therefore people think less of you and don’t want to be around you.

MiddleParking · 07/07/2021 22:10

I’m not remotely scared of getting Covid but I would be turned off a friend who decided not to get the vaccine because to be honest I see it as a sign of someone who’s a bit odd and not very bright.

motogogo · 07/07/2021 22:11

We met up with friends indoors recently, we waited until everyone was doubled vaxxed to protect ourselves, it's not perfect but it's the best we have. I wouldn't invite someone in who hadn't been vaccinated (even the garden)

minipie · 07/07/2021 22:11

I just am baffled how many of you think it's ok to just cut contact with a friend based on one viewpoint, having never given them other reasons to doubt me before.

Well if one of your friends suddenly came out with a view or decision you found repellent, would you say oh well they’ve never done anything else I dislike, and carry on? Or would it change your view of that person?

Audo · 07/07/2021 22:12

It is an eccentric choice to refuse the covid vaccine. Lacking your explanation it's no wonder if your friends are puzzled .

Original poster

blue12345 · 07/07/2021 22:12

@BoredZelda I have no judgement about anyone else's decisions at all. It's just how my own decision is making other people act towards me. I have no form for this either, I am very traditional in most areas of my life.

OP posts:

AnnaMagnani · 07/07/2021 22:12

You have made your decision and you say you are happy with it.

However you don't seem to have considered that your decision would have consequences for you - it comes across that you thought you would just not have vaccine, job done.

It was never going to be that way. We can already see that the vaccinated won't have to self-isolate, there will be differences for the vaccinated in terms of going on holiday, so your decision has real consequences for you.

Your friends have found something out about you they didn't know before and they are reacting to it. You can't control their reaction and it turns out you don't like it.

Being comfortable with your decision not to vaccinate is going to mean being comfortable with all the consequences as well - are you so sure now?

CayrolBaaaskin · 07/07/2021 22:13

I think it’s fair enough to be concerned about health risks of being exposed to unvaccinated people. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that reaction at all. You are free to decline the vaccine but surely then others are free to decline to associate with you. Same as society as a whole can decide to allow you access to certain places if you are a danger to others. Nothing sinister about that

Sleeplessinsaltend · 07/07/2021 22:13

OP I’m waiting to have the vaccine is I have covid antibodies and I’m at high risk of blood clots. I have already been in hospital once this year for obs after TIA and have never been allowed to have the pill and have had blood thinners during pregnancy. To me the risk is too high. DD who is CEV had the vaccine and reacted badly as did Mil who ended up in hospital with a suspected heart attack. Two people so close to me having bad reactions frightened me. I have had a few people get angry about it but as far as I can see if I have antibodies from covid then getting antibodies from a vaccine is unneeded right now. I had one friend get angry and bombard me with texts. If anyone wants to stop seeing me it’s fine, I have a young baby to look after and at this point I don’t want to risk my health just to make people feel safer.
It’s your choice. I’m happy not to go out to pubs or travel, I’ll miss it but if I end up in a bad way from the vaccine no one will care except me and my family. The people urging me to have the vaccine won’t.

roguetomato · 07/07/2021 22:14

It's quite hard to come to terms to as to why someone would chose not to vaccinate, I think. Risk is same for everyone. Vaccinated people took risk to end this pandemic. On the other hand you choose not to. Of course everyone should have choice. But choice comes with consequences.
Personally, I wouldn't distance myself because of vaccination status, but I can see why some do.

What really irritates me is the question you ask. " Why you need to avoid unvaccinated people if you are protected?" Yes we are, but there's the chance we can still catch and spread, which is opposite of what we want, the eason why we took the risk with vaccine.

Lilypansy · 07/07/2021 22:14

I have known many of these people for decades. I'm not endangering them.
That's the whole point. You may be endangering them by being unvaccinated. You are more likely to transmit it than a vaccinated person.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 07/07/2021 22:14

@blue12345 I've touch wood had no negative reaction at all yet, if people end up pointing the finger or ostracising me then it's a shame they feel that way but I have my own personal reasons and I won't be bullied or guilt tripped into anything by anyone. I hope you won't either x

motogogo · 07/07/2021 22:15

I have friends who have chosen not to vaccinate, I respect their decision but won't be socialising with them at the moment

PattyPan · 07/07/2021 22:15

[quote blue12345]@BoredZelda I have no judgement about anyone else's decisions at all. It's just how my own decision is making other people act towards me. I have no form for this either, I am very traditional in most areas of my life.

I just err on the side of caution with anything I put into my body. No alcohol/smoking/drugs
no painkillers, no hormonal contraceptives and try not to take antibiotics unless very ill, so 1 in the last decade. [/quote]
Other people are careful about what they expose their bodies to too. Hence avoiding unvaccinated people. HTH.

MadeOfStarStuff · 07/07/2021 22:15

You chose not to have the vaccine. Now you’re facing consequences of that decision.

I very much judge people who choose not to get the vaccine.

Mischance · 07/07/2021 22:17

You say you are comfortable with your decision which is fine.

Part of that decision involves people other than yourself; and you need to learn to be comfortable with their choices in relation to contact with you. They are entitled to exercise self-preservation.

If you are not comfortable with that, then just roll up your sleeve and do the sensible thing.

CaramelFlat · 07/07/2021 22:17

What do you think your good qualities are that are so good that people should be willing to put themselves at risk to spend time with you? I don't think I am that interesting or amusing or anything that would make it worthwhile other people risking themselves for me, but you must have something special that you feel people should be willing to do this. What kind of things do people like about you that much? I wish I had that sort of charisma and conversation.

TheKeatingFive · 07/07/2021 22:17

This is a lot bigger than you as an individual.

If everyone did what you’re doing, where would we be?

Condemned to perpetual lockdowns or a collapsing health service.

You’re expecting others to take the risks that you aren’t willing to, while you reap the benefits of their risks (society open and close to normal).

Can’t you see why some people aren’t very impressed with that?

SGChome20 · 07/07/2021 22:17

We can’t speak for your friends who have chosen to change their relationship with you. However I don’t think you are really listening to what people are saying on here. It’s not just that an vaccinated person socialising with their vaccinated friend puts the friend at a slight risk of catching covid (because vaccines aren’t 100% effective etc etc) Its more that a lot of vulnerable people genuinely cannot have the vaccine and are at a huge risk and could lead to their deaths. Add to that, the more people who refuse the vaccine perpetuates the spread and increases the risk of another variant which is vaccine resistant. If everyone refused the vaccine hospitalisations and deaths would be through the roof right now so a lot of people will see it that you are happy for others to take a vaccine that you apparently feel is dangerous to break the chain. Surely you can accept at least one of these points?

Btw you haven’t stated your reasons for declining the vaccine? I really hope it’s not because it’s new and we don’t know the effects.

Original poster

blue12345 · 07/07/2021 22:18

@CaramelFlat

I haven't changed. I'm still the same person.

OP posts:

Jasmine11 · 07/07/2021 22:18

I think a lot of people have had qualms about the vaccine (me included) but have gritted their teeth and got on with it for the greater good so things can go back to normal, therefore people who have chosen not to could be seen as pretty selfish. I don't think your friends/family would be being unreasonable to change their opinions of you - but that's the consequence of your choice 🤷🏻‍♀️

Twoforthree · 07/07/2021 22:18

Other people are careful about what they expose their bodies to too. Hence avoiding unvaccinated people. HTH.

Absolutely.

FflosFfantastig · 07/07/2021 22:19

There will be loads of people not having it. You're not the only one. I'm not at the minute. If any of my friends were melodramatic enough to make a big production of it (they're not) then I'd happily cut them loose. What's the point in putting up with all the drama. There's enough of that in the world. As for worrying about what people on here think of you or your decision - they're strangers. Don't lose sleep! Be confident in your decision whatever it brings.

Audo · 07/07/2021 22:20

Blue12345 wrote:

"I just err on the side of caution with anything I put into my body. No alcohol/smoking/drugs
no painkillers, no hormonal contraceptives and try not to take antibiotics unless very ill, so 1 in the last decade."

None of the medicines you list risks public hygiene if you refuse it.
The main reason for becoming vaccinated is the benefit to the public health. If everyone refused the covid vaccine many people would die without benefit of medical help, and undertakers would not be able to cope with all the corpses.

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