Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

[blue12345]

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

@Sleeplessinsaltend I have a similar problem to you. My GP refused to prescribe me the Pill due to the risk. Ive not been on hormonal contraception for years.

I also wouldnt treat friends like bio hazards. And its reciprocated.

@Whyevencare - are you honestly giving that as a good reason NOT to be vaccinated? You're just being nonsensical.

Yes as a double vaccinated person I have some chance of catching Covid and passing it on. But I'm being as socially responsible as I can in reducing my risk of doing so as far as I possibly can.

[quote blue12345]@BoredZelda I have no judgement about anyone else's decisions at all. It's just how my own decision is making other people act towards me. I have no form for this either, I am very traditional in most areas of my life.

I just err on the side of caution with anything I put into my body. No alcohol/smoking/drugs
no painkillers, no hormonal contraceptives and try not to take antibiotics unless very ill, so 1 in the last decade. [/quote]
But thanks to millions of people being selfless and 'less cautious with what they put in their bodies ' you have the luxury of being protected against a nasty virus and potentially a lot of chemicals and serious medical interventions. Do you not see that?

Maybe you are happy with the lifting of restrictions and resuming semi normal life. That's thanks to everyone else, not you. Do you get how that is really infuriating?

Or also, you and others vaccine hesitants are allowing variants to emerge. The next one may not be sensitive to the vaccines. Do you understand the magnitude of what that means? Lockdown, hospitals full, cancer patients not getting their treatment, more people dying with covid, people losing jobs Do you get it? Do you understand why others feel the way they do? Do you get the importance of this vaccine?

I asked this on another thread and i shall ask this again here. Does anyone on here who thinks everyone should have the vaccine live near Anthony Shingler and his family and are willing to offer any practical help?

@MiddleParking, im very serious. It driving a wedge between us that was never there before and to make it worse, my parents and step parents have also piled in and agreed with him and are being arsey with me. My gut feeling is not to have it so im not going to, but its a battle most days.

@Sleeplessinsaltend

This syndrome happened to my father and he was paralysed overnight , he had a virus he did not even know about and the body reacts to fight the virus , scores an own goal and attacks the bodies nervous system . Unfortunately it can happen to anybody at any time . This was 15 years ago and he could not move or speak for months. It’s devastating but not just caused by the vaccine . It could also be caused by covid .

I think I will steer clear of people
Who are choosing to not be vaccinated as I have people close to me with vulnerabilities and also friends who have worked so hard in the NHS this year. My view is that it is not acting for the greater good or as a civic minded person. You are benefitting from everyone else taking wherever risk there is but making a real point - inaccurately in my opinion- that things are just safe now so it's ok not to have the vaccine. Acting not just for yourself but to protect others is important to me in a friend and so I can understand people keeping their distance. I'd find it hard to stay as close to a friend who did this.

You are generally friends with people who have the same values as you. A lot of people aren't prepared to spend time with people that they deem selfish (or stupid) - brexit damaged friendships and now vaccinations. It's a shame but you if you believe that people are knowingly putting you and your family at risk (after all the vaccine isn't 100% effective) of course you aren't going to want to socialise with them. People have a choice about vaccinations, other people have a choice whether they want to spend time with them

You're within your rights to refuse the vaccine. Every country on earth has the right to deny entry to someone who isn't vaccinated.

This sort of thing isn't new. You can't travel from a yellow fever infected area into some countries without a vaccination certificate.

iv had the vaccine , but i feel a bit the same as you op , i dont fuckin judge anyone that chooses not to have it , its their choice , i dont think anybody should feel pressured into having it , and i can also say im happy to be near or work with people that have told me they havent had it , they can stand a few feet away from me and im not cringing in horror
i really really hate what a horrible judgemental society covid and vaccines are proving us to be , its awful , personally if someone i was friends with started getting funny with me over the fact i hadnt had the vaccine id be feeling theyd done me a favour , but then i appreciate not everybody is the same as me , iv got a friend whos hysterical about covid , double jabbed , but still carrying on like might as well not have been , its utterly ridiculous and i fear my contempt shows as does my now couldnt care less attitude about mask wearing ,unlocking , restrictions , he would see it like this for the next 6 years i think , our friendship has most definatly cooled , but it just doesnt bother me too much , , i guess the only thing you could do is just go yeah im booked in to have it next week when next asked , but honestly if you have to lie to keep someones friendship they arent worth it anyway .

@MercyBooth

I asked this on another thread and i shall ask this again here. Does anyone on here who thinks everyone should have the vaccine live near Anthony Shingler and his family and are willing to offer any practical help?

That doesn't even make sense

Is everyone who hasn't had the vaccine willing to offer practical help to my aunt and uncle who were hospitalised for weeks with covid, and are still ill and have to have carers come round. Even with us all trying to help? They are in their early 60s.

My aunt hasn't left the house in 7 months and can't even get to her own bedroom.

Not much really that can be done, lots of people come up against a new facet of their relationship all the time and it causes them to go their separate ways.
I feel vulnerable as heavily pregnant, I don't really want to spend time with unvaccinated people as I know vaccine isn't perfect and I might still get it and have bad outcome,
I will be actively choosing to socialise with others who have had it and I guess your friends just feel similar

Op: I stopped reading you when you wrote “unlucky”.
I’m sorry but i don’t see any sense in the way you present your point of view. I see someone who wants to feel the victim when you say you’ve taken a conscious decision (I hope it wasn’t based on lucky/unlucky feeling?). You’ve taken a decision then you’re not the victim. The others react as they want to react.
Live with it

It's up to you whether or not you get the vaccine OP. However, the vaccine doesn't protect you 100% from covid. It just makes you less likely to get it and, if I understand rightly, your symptoms will be less severe.

I wouldn't hang around with someone that has the flu - or potentially has it - and I imagine your friends feel the same way about you now. You are more likely to catch covid statistically, or, you could be asymptomatic or not yet showing symptoms and your friends don't want to risk getting poorly.

It sucks, but it's how it is now I suppose

@LaCerbiatta What about all the poor countries with no vaccinations for their vulnerable? Surely the most selfless thing any of us lucky enough to be healthy and living in a country with low case rates would be to send out millions of vaccines to vaccine the world's vulnerable and not just our own rich countries?

Lockdowns have many costs. There are many schools of thought on how we
have dealt with this and how we have left many of the vulnerable of the behind. There is no one right answer.

Having listened to the 'miserable Winter' Chris Whitty has warned us is coming, I have very little hope that there won't be further lockdowns.

Your decision about your body in this case is one that impacts others and reeks of selfishness.

Frankly - it’s not just another viewpoint. It’s a problematic decision in all sorts of ways and brushing it aside as just another viewpoint is minimising it.

I wouldn’t care about your hormonal contraception. Or what have you. That’s NOT the same as this.

I would step away from you too.

It's the arrogance/self-importance that I still can't get over. I find it so hard to understand how someone can think so much of themselves that they expect other people to want to spend time with them, even if they have to take a risk to do so. They might choose to do so, of course, and they might take the risk inadvertently if they don't know, but to actively and knowingly expect them to do that and be surprised when they don't want to, it's just astonishing to me.

We have one person at work who has not been vaccinated . She volunteered that info . I am just taking more care not to get close to her . But I am not telling her what to do . Her choice .

Do I think she is wrong , yes. Because a friend who is in his 40s with no health problems before has been at deaths door and in hospital for months with multiple blood clots . So I think she is risking her health .

Worried about her infecting me . Not so much as I will keep out of her way .
If she gets covid ? Not sure I will probably think she should have had the vaccine but I won’t will her to be ill .

I have experienced similar, OP. I have lost a few friends due to me not getting the vaccine, and been called some absolutely awful things along the way. At no point as anyone tried to understand my reasons, or offer any sort of reassurance. Just full on vitriol. A family member also tried to blackmail me but has since realised life is too short, and what goes in my body is my decision.
Thankfully, my closest friends don't care that I am not vaccinated and still come to see me. On is CV but has faith in her own vaccine. She is not the type to dismiss someone based on personal medical decisions.
If anyone else asks now, I change the subject.

The thing is the vaccine isn’t 100% so those who’ve had it aren’t fully protected from catching Covid and you’re more likely to give it to people if you aren’t vaccinated. Of course it’s your choice not to have it but it’s other people’s choice not to spend time with you if you don’t.

For me, it would be about the fact that you’ve chosen not to protect those around you. If you could

@blue12345

But we are funding vaccines that is why covax has been set up ?
The problem is not free vaccines it is often distribution and demographics.

Am heartily sick of this ' I don't drink or smoke or take the pill " rationale used to justify not taking the vaccine. Many of us don't. Doesn't make you special. Many of us were also anxious about taking the vaccine. We just don't expect other people to risk being ill just because we are anxious.

Am going to a play on the weekend and am bubbling with a friend who has been double vaxxed. I will meet non vaxed friends outside but not in enclosed spaces. People have the right to socialise with those with whom they feel safe.

@gurglebelly

You are generally friends with people who have the same values as you. A lot of people aren't prepared to spend time with people that they deem selfish (or stupid) - brexit damaged friendships and now vaccinations. It's a shame but you if you believe that people are knowingly putting you and your family at risk (after all the vaccine isn't 100% effective) of course you aren't going to want to socialise with them. People have a choice about vaccinations, other people have a choice whether they want to spend time with them

You are generally friends with people who have the same values as you. A lot of people aren't prepared to spend time with people that they deem selfish (or stupid) - brexit damaged friendships and now vaccinations. It's a shame but you if you believe that people are knowingly putting you and your family at risk (after all the vaccine isn't 100% effective) of course you aren't going to want to socialise with them. People have a choice about vaccinations, other people have a choice whether they want to spend time with them

This, basically. I don't treat my non-vaccinated friends any differently than I did before, but that's only because I've never been and never will be scared of catching Covid, nor do I have vulnerable people around me that I need to be extra careful for.

However, I understand and respect that others feel differently. The same way I understand that for months now, only fully vaccinated or on-the-day tested people have been able to go shopping, eat at the pub, have a coffee or go to the cinema or the hairdressers where I live (Germany). It's not discrimination, it's businesses (or people in this case) deciding who they allow to be in close contact with them.

At the same time, the vaccine is a novelty that should soon wear off. Just like Brexit was - an important topic of course, but people talked about it for 2-3 years and in most cases, that was that. The main icebreaker topic right now is the vaccine. It's normal people ask, it's normal some people have different, strong views on it.

My own dad hasn't had the vaccine, some of my colleagues at work haven't either. I'm mixing with them just as before, but I also understand why my colleagues might be out of a job come September.

We all have a choice, at the same time we should only ever show respect for other people's choices. However, we can't be expected to share those views and act completely normal if we don't feel like that.

I don’t judge individuals for not getting vaccinated, however if there are too many individuals not getting it, then we as a population will have a major problem. Currently, I believe about 15% of adults are not yet vaccinated. I don’t know how many of those are waiting for their appointment and how many don’t want to have it.

I wouldn’t worry about mixing with you, after all - most of us are parents and therefore living with the unvaccinated (kids!)

(Unlucky is the chap who was born in a poor country for who a covid vaccine might arrive around spring 2022, perhaps. Unlucky is the kid who can’t have regular immunisations for all sorts of common things without walking 10m to find a clinic. All of us here are VERY lucky)