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Original poster

I am CEV dp won’t have vaccine

105 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 24/06/2021 20:52

I have posted before about this a while ago.
I have a medical condition and because of my meds it makes me CEV. Had both vaccines but apparently it will give me 0-8% coverage.
Been with dp for 13 years, 3 kids.
He will not have vaccine. Doesn’t believe it will give any cover to me. Thinks Covid is very real but doesn’t trust the figures etc.
I am really struggling with him not having it to protect me! I get it’s a new vaccine and the worries, but ultimately if it was him with the health condition no matter how I felt about it I would be there getting it to protect him in anyway.
I asked tonight (not discussed for months) if he was having it, he said no. If it meant we couldn’t go on holiday in the future etc he will!!! WTAF. I am so pissed off.
I just see him as a selfish knob. Sorry but I do. I really do.
Am I wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 24/06/2021 22:06

@PineappleMojito I totally agree, his body, his choice.
It’s the fact he wouldn’t do it to protect me rightly or wrongly and would have it to go on holiday!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 24/06/2021 22:08

@WhereYouLeftIt I agree, totally agree!

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 24/06/2021 22:12

So he'd get vaccinated for two weeks in Spain but won't for you.

Tells you his priorities.

Jux · 24/06/2021 22:51

Has he thought about how you would manage if he caught COVID and was unfortunate enough to be seriously ill? Is he prepared to risk being very seriously ill, maybe even worse? How about if he got long COVID which can last for months and months (we have a few friends who have been suffering with it for 6 months so far....). Is he really prepared to risk that? Is he prepared to risk you having to deal with that?

If yes, then exactly who does he think is the selfish one?

HSHorror · 24/06/2021 22:55

Would he have to have AZ?
As if so i might see his point.

Everydayisawindingroad · 25/06/2021 09:24

@HSHorror

Would he have to have AZ? As if so i might see his point.
@HSHorror he’s prepared to get it to go on holiday so it doesn’t appear to be an issue over a particular vaccine
Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 25/06/2021 12:56

I agree with all the comments about him having to go on holiday. It’s disgusting really.
It’s just a huge kick in the teeth when I do everything for him, literally every. I run the house 99% of the housework and kids, bills, cars everything and a very stressful job. Yet he can’t have a vaccine because he can’t see how it would stop me catching Covid!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 25/06/2021 12:57

I did look online last night for some sort of advice to explain how him getting the vaccine would keep me safe, surprisingly there wasn’t much!

OP posts:
HSHorror · 25/06/2021 19:52

Well theres the fact gov were prioritising vax for family of cev people

Original poster
Workinghardeveryday · 25/06/2021 20:14

Thanks, I know but it doesn’t spell out why, he doesn’t get it!!

OP posts:
HSHorror · 25/06/2021 23:37

The highest risk is of contracting from household. It is much higher. So it's to put a ring around the person.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 25/06/2021 23:57

The dc won't be vaccinated though. Even if he's vaccinated you'll still be at risk.
I'm in a similar position to you but DH is a sensible type who rolled up his sleeve asap.
The fact that 2 weeks in the sun is more important than you is pretty damning.

BarbarianMum · 25/06/2021 23:59

I honestly dont think I could live with someone who wouldn't get a vaccine to protect me, but would get one to go to Tenerife .

ineedaholidaynow · 26/06/2021 00:05

How old is he?

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 26/06/2021 00:05

Honestly OP, what are you getting from this relationship?

SleepyMathematician · 26/06/2021 00:47

@Workinghardeveryday

Thanks, I know but it doesn’t spell out why, he doesn’t get it!!
I had a letter saying everyone I live with should be vaccinated to protect me because the vaccine might not work well on me. Did you get one? I’m not sure if it was just CEV in our area or nationwide. If that’s not enough for him, he’s a knob. If you didn’t get one I’ll find mine out and PM it across to you if you think it’ll do any good. He sounds a bit of a lost cause though. He should care about you more than this.
tappitytaptap · 26/06/2021 01:20

I was on the fence about the vaccine- happy to have one for herd immunity purposes but if I’d never been offered one (30s, good health no risk factors) I would have been ok with that. But if one of my family felt they were vulnerable that would definitely have swayed me to the side of having one - I have after all taken the pill for years which is a higher blood clot risk than the jabs. As it is I went for it from a herd immunity perspective as, as I’m sure many others are (!) I’m keen for normal life to return as far as possible. I’d question someone who would have one for a holiday over you!

FakingMemories · 26/06/2021 04:11

Does he have the flu vaccine each year? Surely if you’re that immunity-compromised then even a dose of flu could be disastrous. I assume he’s following good health practices with regard to hand washing, etc because you’ve got through the last year living with him without him being vaccinated. Not sure why you’re suddenly at more risk than you were last June when there was no vaccine on the horizon.

lightlypoached · 26/06/2021 05:06

I'd tell( him that it's too high risk for him to stay and that he needs to move out until either the pandemic has gone away (likely never?) or he has the vaccine.

Being immune compromised is a serious business that could make you very ill. He's a selfish twat and doesn't deserve you.

RubyGoat · 26/06/2021 05:21

@Workinghardeveryday

I agree with all the comments about him having to go on holiday. It’s disgusting really. It’s just a huge kick in the teeth when I do everything for him, literally every. I run the house 99% of the housework and kids, bills, cars everything and a very stressful job. Yet he can’t have a vaccine because he can’t see how it would stop me catching Covid!!!!
So he's happy for you to look after him in everyday life, but he's not prepared to get the vaccine to increase the chances that he'll be able to look after you & your kids? Because realistically, him getting the vaccine might not significantly reduce the risk that he'll pass it on to you if he catches it. But it does reduce the risk that he'll be seriously ill if it happens. So essentially he's not willing to maximise the possibility that he'll be able to look after you if you get sick?
IAmDaveTheSerialShagger · 26/06/2021 05:28

I am ECV and refuse to have the untested vaccine, I had the Pneumonia Vaccination and had Pneumonia 14 times now and half my lung removed, so no they do not always work or reduce the risk.

custardbear · 26/06/2021 05:29

I'd be reminding him that if I died then he'd have to bring up the kids alone and run the household
Sorry your DH is a dick

DownSideUpped · 26/06/2021 06:55

I don’t think you should ever coerce or emotionally blackmail a person into having a vaccine with such a high rate of adverse effects. How would you feel if he had it and died from vaccine related blood clot or heart attack?! I think his comment about having it to enable him to travel is beyond twattish though. Yes, if he would be happy to have it to travel then of course you should be very cross that he wouldn’t choose to have it to protect you, but it still need to be his choice.

Dozer · 26/06/2021 06:58

Agree that it is a clear signal that your health and wellbeing are not important to him.

nether · 26/06/2021 07:07

I remember your first thread.

It is staggering that someone can be so selfish as to say that a holiday is worth more than you are (ie it's worth getting the jab for, but you're not)

I have a CEV person in the household, and estimates for jab effectiveness were initially found to be in the 9-13% range. Further research underway.

He is being a shit, and on a subject that's of overriding importance - your very life and well-being.

What do you think your options are now?