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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Are you still sticking to ALL of the rules?

543 replies

CallTheSheriff · 03/05/2021 21:33

Our family has followed all rules to date but with two weeks left until social contact restrictions are lifted I see more and more people using a ‘common sense’ approach for their own risk.

My DC go to school (primary), attend swimming lessons, attend dance classes and indoor football classes but we decline the offer of play dates with other DC in their class.

DH and I have not mixed indoors with any other adult since last March. We both WFH and are both partially vaccinated. We do not attend gyms etc as we didn’t pre covid anyway.

Our friends and family think we are being OTT, especially in not allowing DC to visit others after school but allowing them to attend classes.

It made me wonder how others are doing it?

OP posts:
yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 21:36

My view is that the vast majority of people who ignored the rules and continued to see friends and family inside did so because they are selfish and/or weak.

Of course there will be those for whom there were genuine reasons why they needed additional support outside of a support bubble, but let's be honest they were in the minority.

I am sick of everyone trying to justify their selfish attitudes by dressing it up as "essential". Better they are just honest and admit they only think about themselves.

Imonlyhumanafterall2021 · 11/05/2021 21:37

[quote XenoBitch]@Imonlyhumanafterall2021

Thank you. I got through this lockdown by having a friend in my house every fortnight. My support bubble is my mum, but there is a lot I can not discuss with her. My friend insisted on it. It is far easier to prevent a crisis than try to claw back from one once it happens.[/quote]
Indeed. I am so glad you reached out. You have a great friend. Do what you need to do to cope and ignore any judgemental people, they don't walk in the same shoes.

My very best wishes to you xx

yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 21:38

[quote Egghead81]@yomommasmomma

Wtaf

You posted this last year

* We can manage 2 weeks of not seeing family, but no longer than that. *

If we are expected to not see grandparents (both very fit and healthy 55 year olds) for longer than that, I will not be obeying the rules.

Shock

I don’t think I have come across a more hypocritical poster on mumsnet ever before![/quote]
Yes of course and if anyone had bothered to ask they would know how much I struggled during the last lockdown. The point is we didn't see them, I desperately desperately wanted to, but we chose to do the right thing, so I don't see why others couldn't do that too.

Also slightly scared how obsessed you are with me to read all my posts!!

Egghead81 · 11/05/2021 21:39

You @yomommasmomma

Last year said that you would break the rules of you weren’t allowed to see family for longer than two weeks

You!!

Egghead81 · 11/05/2021 21:40

Wait

Major back tracking

So you are saying that you wouldn’t have done what you said you would categorically do? (“Break the rules”.

Egghead81 · 11/05/2021 21:40

This is priceless Grin

yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 21:40

@Egghead81

You *@yomommasmomma*

Last year said that you would break the rules of you weren’t allowed to see family for longer than two weeks

You!!

Yes, but we didn't break the rules, when it came to it, we managed because they was the right thing to do. I desperately wanted to see my parents every day and had severe difficulties with my mental health, but I didn't.
Imonlyhumanafterall2021 · 11/05/2021 21:41

@yomommasmomma

My view is that the vast majority of people who ignored the rules and continued to see friends and family inside did so because they are selfish and/or weak.

Of course there will be those for whom there were genuine reasons why they needed additional support outside of a support bubble, but let's be honest they were in the minority.

I am sick of everyone trying to justify their selfish attitudes by dressing it up as "essential". Better they are just honest and admit they only think about themselves.

Go away.

If reaching out to a friend when someone wants to end their life is against your rules you need to step back and think.

I cannot be bothered with you or anything further you say. Your opinion is irrelevant. You sound like you need help with empathy.

Goodnight and hopefully you will never be in the position some of those people you are judging have been in.

yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 21:41

@Egghead81

Wait

Major back tracking

So you are saying that you wouldn’t have done what you said you would categorically do? (“Break the rules”.

I am saying I felt like I wanted to break the rules every day and decreed to everyone that I would, but we didn't. We made the right choice, not the selfish one.
Egghead81 · 11/05/2021 21:42

You’ve got yourself in a bit of a pickle here haven’t you @yomommasmomma

I’m heading to bed now. Looking forward to reading more from you tomorrow! Grin

yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 21:44

@Egghead81

You’ve got yourself in a bit of a pickle here haven’t you *@yomommasmomma*

I’m heading to bed now. Looking forward to reading more from you tomorrow! Grin

If that makes you feel better, you stick with it! You can choose to believe me or not. The reason I can say people were weak for breaking the rules is because I badly wanted to and suffered hugely myself, but I didn't. Night Night xx
Imonlyhumanafterall2021 · 11/05/2021 21:46

@Egghead81

You’ve got yourself in a bit of a pickle here haven’t you *@yomommasmomma*

I’m heading to bed now. Looking forward to reading more from you tomorrow! Grin

It's priceless but quite sad actually. So she wanted to break the rules but didn't because she isn't selfish ergo.... those that broke the rules and didn't just bang on as she did is selfish....

Anyway I'm done with the most ridiculous person of the day/week/month

yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 21:48

Exactly correct. I wanted to every day, everyone did, but they chose to be strong and not do so, for the greater good. Clearly that's not you.

XenoBitch · 11/05/2021 21:55

@yomommasmomma

Exactly correct. I wanted to every day, everyone did, but they chose to be strong and not do so, for the greater good. Clearly that's not you.
How can you "choose to be strong"? If you know how then please share.... because it would cure the mental health crisis in the UK.
yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 21:59

Don't take the easy option. In this situation for me it was a case of tough it out, get support from my husband, support from my parents virtually and mental health support, again virtually from my CBT counsellor.

XenoBitch · 11/05/2021 22:06

@yomommasmomma

Don't take the easy option. In this situation for me it was a case of tough it out, get support from my husband, support from my parents virtually and mental health support, again virtually from my CBT counsellor.
And for people who live alone? Or people who live with an abusive partner? People who can't afford to eat, let alone have broadband so they can access online support....
Imonlyhumanafterall2021 · 11/05/2021 22:13

Please @XenoBitch

Ignore her. Please for your own good. You did what you needed to do to survive, your friend was amazing and supportive. It doesn't mean you are weak or selfish at all. Take care of yourself and try to not engage with judgemental people

Flowers
XenoBitch · 11/05/2021 22:16

@Imonlyhumanafterall2021

Please *@XenoBitch*

Ignore her. Please for your own good. You did what you needed to do to survive, your friend was amazing and supportive. It doesn't mean you are weak or selfish at all. Take care of yourself and try to not engage with judgemental people

Flowers

You are right. Judgemental people are set in their ways and wont change. Hilarious that her hypocrisy is being exposed though.
yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 22:17

Those that live alone were allowed a support bubble. Those people who are very poor and can't afford enough food and broadband I strongly advocated for additional support during the crisis. Them being extremely poor still doesn't justify a need for friends and family being in and out of their house though.

yomommasmomma · 11/05/2021 22:20

Oh and you were always allowed to leave your home and stay with someone else to protect yourself from any kind of domestic row or abuse.

Pootle40 · 11/05/2021 22:23

When does @yomommasmomma get her medal? Confused

MNHQ
EstherMumsnet · 11/05/2021 22:24

Evening! A reminder please that our purpose is to support other parents. We've had a number of reports about this thread not really doing this.

Dementedswan · 11/05/2021 22:33

I've followed all the rules, tbh I have anxiety and depression, also deaf so not been anywhere that requires masks. Also group 6. But... if someone needed me I would be there. I needed support but luckily had my dh and dc, my docs are wonderful and have seen me in person wearing visors so I can lip read and I'm getting the help I need.

Some people don't have that, so I can see why some people break the rules. Even now we as a family are being cautious. Second jab tomorrow... az. So nervous.. my brain thinks ill will either die of covid or from the jab Hmm yes silly, but as long term mental health sufferer along with a few covid vulnerabilities. You can tell me until you are blue in the face that I will be fine, but that won't stop my anxiety and panic attacks.

boredbuttercup · 11/05/2021 22:38

If that makes you feel better, you stick with it! You can choose to believe me or not. The reason I can say people were weak for breaking the rules is because I badly wanted to and suffered hugely myself, but I didn't.
Night Night xx

You weren't 'strong', other people weren't 'weak', you were lucky, that's it.

Lucky that you had a supportive husband and children. Lucky that you could connect with your parents virtually and not need more. Lucky you could access MH support and actually got CBT. That's it. Other people aren't lucky enough. Other people's MH issues meaning they needed actually human contact to stop them going over the edge doesn't make them weak, it just makes them less fortunate than you. You aren't strong or special to be blessed with the hand you have or your MH, you're only lucky. Sure there are other people luckier than you who had no MH issues, but you are still lucky compared to the others you patronisingly call weak. Sadly you're not lucky enough to have any empathy, common sense or good manners. Honestly, the fact you get off on calling others weak so you can polish your halo by comparison is sickening.

The pandemic has brought out the worst in a lot of people and it's not those who broke some rules for their own sanity. It's the self appointed covid police who virtue signal and look down on anyone who doesn't behave exactly as they believe correct from their high horses, so they can congratulate themselves by comparison and feel better than the rest of us.

llm24 · 11/05/2021 22:42

on the while yes but let my two kids have a
friend over - both have been doing lateral flow tests
doing this saw their moods lifted it was beginning to affect them