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Needle phobia, vaccination and unsympathetic family

256 replies

Notimmaturejustscared · 13/04/2021 17:56

Please help me. I am extremely needle-phobic and, as you might expect, am finding the current vaccination programme very challenging. I am determined to have the vaccine. My phobia has, in the past, stopped me from doing all sorts of things – travelling and even seeking medical treatment at times. I spent most of 2020 in a state of constant anxiety knowing that having an injection would be my only way out of the pandemic and trying to find legitimate ways of avoiding the needle. I’ve eventually come to the conclusion though that regaining freedom is the line I thought I’d never find – for the first time in my life, I want to be vaccinated, even if the actual process still scares me to death.

I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I could turn off that bit of my brain which goes into fight or flight mode and unfortunately with me it is always one of those. I have run hysterically from a GP Office, blindly shoving people out of the way and not even aware of what I was doing until I was “safely” outside. If not taking flight, I struggle and scream. I sometimes vomit. I wish I could be a demure fainter. I know it’s irrational but I also know I can’t control it. I had CBT a few years ago which was focused on dental treatment but included injections in general. I can now, with a lot of support and a practice specialising in phobia, cope with dental treatment but the CBT didn’t touch my more general needle phobia. The programme was supposed to culminate with me giving blood but I got into such a state upon entering the building, hyperventilating and struggling to get away that I was told “we don’t need your blood that much, the risk to your own health is too great”. I’m been revisiting all my CBT learning though for the last few months, trying to change my thinking so that I can cope with this vaccination. I’m going with faking it until I make it and have just about convinced myself that I am really looking forward to the vaccination, talking about how much I want it, forcing myself to desensitise by looking at images and watching tv coverage that I would normally switch over. I have rehearsed a short spiel to give as soon as I enter the centre, explaining that I’m very nervous and likely to cry and panic. I was almost there until…

My sister has started volunteering at the local vaccination centre. My sister is one of those no-nonsense types and has been telling me with disapproval and mocking attitude about grown men and women who come in all nervous about this tiny needle. She doesn’t know the extent of my phobia. She remembers how I was in childhood and how badly I reacted to injections at school but assumes I’ve grown up and gotten over all of that nonsense. She’s loved all things medical for as long as I can remember and has some real gallows-type humour about medical procedures as well as a bit of a gladiatorial attitude about how much she can undergo without making a fuss. Her DD was very ill in childhood (thankfully ok now) and this has given her an attitude of “I can’t believe a grown adult would make such a fuss when my DD had to go through much worse procedures with barely a whimper”. Having come so close to feeling I can go through with this, I’m now beside myself with fear about my sister seeing me in this kind of state. It’s not just DSis though, my parents also used to compare my fear to her stoicism and made clear they hated my weakness. I’ve not had any reason to discuss injections with my parents in over 25 years but they did recently ask if I was going to get the vaccine or if I was still “stupid about these things”. I acted really breezy, saying that childhood was a long time ago and of course I would get it. Of course if my sister sees me freaking out, she’ll tell our parents and my family will mock me/be disappointed forever more.

We’re in Scotland so my understanding is that the vaccination appointment is basically a summons, rather than elsewhere in the UK where it is an invitation to book a slot. If that were the case I could book on the days I know she doesn’t volunteer (she does 5 days) but as it is, I won’t have a choice. Recently she was laughing about how a friend of hers came in so she told the vaccinator to “stab this one hard” and how she’ll say similar if she is working when I come in. This is hilarious to her but it has put me in a state of blind panic. I actually threw up after that phone call. Aside from DSis seeing me in my phobic state and possibly adding to it, I’m also concerned about any medical confidentiality. I know that she sometimes does the checking-in side of things and sometimes does queue control and I’m worried about what the checking-in involves. If she is checking me in will she see my medical records at any point? There’s stuff I really don’t want her to know in there. I’m also on some mediation at the moment which I don’t want her to know about – would I have to divulge this?

Please can someone talk me down and help me find some coping tips.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 06/07/2021 11:37

I really want to tell your DH to stop being an arse and support you, you're doing so well.

I think your idea is a very good one and I completely understand where you're coming from regarding queuing, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. When I went luckily there wasn't huge queue either time and I was taken to the front as soon as they saw what a state I was in. I think they usually have marshals as well.

Regarding going to a different place, that happened to me and I was dreading it. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the people at the second centre were lovelier than those at the first! Nothing was too much trouble for them, I was allowed to lay down and they let DH go in with me.

I had the same fears about AZ but I don't think it's going to be too much of an issue. Many countries in Europe have already said they'll accept it and the theatre in New York had to back down after complaints. So many people have had AZ that I can't see countries/venues not wanting our money!

Lastly, I decided to take a leaf out of your book after having my second jab and I've bought myself a watch that I'd been after for a long time. DH can't understand why I need another watch but it's my reward to myself.

Sorry, I've rambled on there. You've been so brave and I know you can do it again. ignore the comments about 'well you've done it once', anyone with a phobia (or any empathy) knows that it doesn't go away as easily as that. I wish it did.

Alondra · 06/07/2021 13:02

I'm so sorry, needle phobia is so paralysing and full of anxiety is a really health issue.

I haven't read the answers and I'm sure it has been suggested - have you gone to your GP to get a prescription for alprazolam (xanax)? My nephew who is autistic have severe needle phobia and it's the only thing that works for him. It literally stones him but does the work.

Ask your GP, they should be able to work out the one time dosage for you. Xanax is prescribed for panic attacks and severe anxiety which is what a phobia is.

As a long term solution, I can't recommend enough engaging a psychologist to overcome your anxiety to needles. They work miracles.

Notimmaturejustscared · 06/07/2021 14:16

Thank you once again for such lovely and supportive messages. I'm constantly on edge at the moment, terrified to see these blue envelopes drop through our door. As long as they don't arrive before next Monday, I think I can put my plan into action but if they do, I'm going have such a battle to persuade DH to ignore what it says and let me do it my way. The postman has just been today and I've realised how much I've been clenched and can now breath properly with a reprieve for one more day.

The other good thing about going next Monday is that we're looking after a friend's puppy overnight. The dog can't be left alone in the car - she'll howl the place down so I'm thinking that we will go into the centre separately - me first without DH to stress me out so I can deal with things in my own way, then when I am done, I'll be able to cuddle a gorgeous 7 month old fluff-bundle as a bit of pet therapy while I deal with the adrenaline spike while DH goes for his jab.

I'm really pleased to hear that my plan isn't completely mad or unworkable. In a weird way I'm almost quite excited about taking control and dealing with this on my terms. DH is the sticking point though.

DSis also remains an annoyance. She called me up last week just to remind me that the 8-week mark is coming up for me and I'm therefore getting to the sweet spot for #2. I told her I was well aware of this and she kept saying that she was concerned that I wasn't going to get the second jab. Apparently she has been discussing this with my parents and they all think there's a risk that I'll decide I have sufficient coverage with one dose. Nobody is saying outright that they think I'm a big immature scaredy-cat but it's definitely implied and I really want to prove them wrong or at least ensure they have no knowledge of my thoughts, feelings and reactions until such a time (if ever) my body and brain stop reacting the way they do. I told DSis that I really didn't appreciate my personal medical stuff being discussed and she said that when it comes to covid vaccines, nothing is personal - vaccine status needs to be public knowledge.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 06/07/2021 14:44

OMG your sister in unbelievable! The more you say, the more reason I can see that she's no longer a vaccinator. Of course your vaccine status shouldn't be public knowledge!

NotImmatureJustScared · 07/07/2021 10:49

My fecking blue envelope arrived this morning. One for DH too so I assume we’ll be given the same appointment slot again. He’s out at work so doesn’t know yet. I went back to bed and cried for about an hour and a half before I could summon the courage to open it. I have also been sick.

The appointment is next week at a different centre from before. This is the worst case scenario for me. I had really hoped to persuade DH to get along to the drop in service before our scheduled appointments or was willing to go myself if need be. But the scheduled appointment is before my planned drop-in date. I am also beside myself with stress and panic about navigate an unfamiliar space.

The letter says that we must attend at the scheduled time and if it’s not convenient, can reschedule. I’ve been online but there are no appointments available at my preferred centre on my preferred date, and not appointments on that date at any centre. They are operating a drop in service though as well as scheduled appointments but I don’t know if I can do this now that there is an appointment in the system. DH almost certainly will dig in his heels and refuse to disobey the letter. I’ve read through all the FAQs and information page on the scotgov website and there’s no solid information about whether you can attend a drop in centre in these circumstances, they only say that the drop-ins are available for those who haven’t yet received an appointment and are 9-weeks post first vaccine. This would imply that I won’t be able to just turn up.

I’m so terrified right now. I know GoldenOmbre has said that it’s fine to ignore the letter and turn up but is there any formal guidance on this. DH will in no way take MN’s word for this. If, I do have to attend the scheduled appointment, I wonder if there is anyone here with experience of that centre – it’s the Royal Highland Centre. Does anyone know if they have facilities for the terrified there? A screened off space etc?

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 07/07/2021 11:44

Is there a drop in appointment at your preferred centre before your scheduled one? I’d go for that ASAP and go early morning like you thought. Flowers

NotImmatureJustScared · 07/07/2021 13:37

I've now calmed slightly (but only slightly). I've been fudging dates in my last few updates for fear of outing but realise that it's impossible to ask for proper advice without the correct timeline.

So, this Sunday (11th) will mark the 8 week point. I wanted to go to the drop-in on Monday morning (12th) (8 wks + 1 day) to head things off and ensure I was going to a familiar location. Plan was also to go early morning to avoid queues.

Letter has allocated an appointment at a different centre on Tuesday (13th). It's in the afternoon so likely to be busier and I'll be in pieces all day, would rather get it over with.

I can't work out what now to do with the letter. I can't reschedule to the preferred centre, but I do know they are running drop-ins in parallel to scheduled appointments. What will happen if I just turn up there on the Monday morning? Will I be sent away because I have an appointment in the system for the next day? Do I need to cancel the appointment for the 13th altogether - that worries me because as much as getting the jab is a terrifying prospect, I do want to be vaccinated and don;t want to take myself out of the system. If I do just turn up and get jabbed on the Monday without cancelling Tuesday's appointment, will the system somehow marry this up. I don't want to have to do it again because the jab was not registered due to being out of sync. If going on the Monday morning, should I take my letter for Tuesday and explain?

Depending on the answers to these questions, the biggest problem is how to sell this plan (deviation from the letter) to DH? At this stage I'm honestly on the verge of hiding/destroying both letters and pretending they haven't been received.

Or maybe if I just need to take a breath and tell myself I've been through this once, including the unfamiliar setting, and abandon my previous plan. I'd really love some insight into the process at the Royal Highland Centre though and have been googling like mad with no results.

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 07/07/2021 13:52

Go to the drop in centre on Monday. If they can’t see you or the queue is massive go to your appointment on Tuesday. I’m sure drop in centre will cancel your booking if you are successfully vaccinated. I would take the letter but say you prefer this centre as they were so helpful last time.

Good luck, you are doing so well!

superblondie28 · 07/07/2021 14:25

I went with my daughter to our mass vaccination centre. She's terrified of needles and has autism/SEN. I used EMLA cream on her arm both times. Let the person doing the jabbing that DD hates needles. I think it's the thought of the needle sometimes. Just look away OP, think of something really nice to do after your vaccine 😀 My daughter had both her vaccines and was fine afterwards. I was proud of her too

shrodingersbiscuit · 07/07/2021 14:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

MRex · 07/07/2021 14:56

@Notimmaturejustscared - wow, 8 weeks already. You know type already doing brilliantly by just thinking through the plans. (And your sister is annoying, don't even answer the phone to her until late next week.)

I don't know the site, but I found their page: www.royalhighlandcentre.co.uk/nhs-lothian-vaccination-centre-the-rhc/. Now, the phone number is just for "directional queries", but I think you could explain you're anxious and ask for arrangements to go straight through, maybe ask if you can go first thing instead. This is their number: 0131 335 6228.

GoldenOmber · 07/07/2021 15:21

I’m so terrified right now. I know GoldenOmbre has said that it’s fine to ignore the letter and turn up but is there any formal guidance on this. DH will in no way take MN’s word for this.

From Nicola Sturgeon herself:

“So if you haven’t had a first dose yet - or if you are now due for a second dose - from Monday, you’ll be able to visit a drop-in centre in order to get one. And let me stress, you can do this even if you have had a letter giving you an appointment, or if you have missed an appointment. If you’d rather turn up next week to drop in, you can do that even if you’ve had an appointment scheduled for a week or two from now.”

www.gov.scot/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-update-first-ministers-speech-friday-2-july-2021/

NotImmatureJustScared · 07/07/2021 16:07

OMG GoldenOmber That's exactly what I need to work on DH. I'll talk to him tonight about ignoring the letter and just going on Monday.

I don't think I can call the centre, I know it's crazy and I know I'm not helping myself but I cannot say the words vaccine, injection, needle etc out loud. It's taking me all my strength just to type them. I did see though that the centre are very active on Twitter so if DH is really not going for my plan, I thought I might DM them to ask about arrangements for the terrified. I also saw though that they have tweeted on a few occasions about huge queues - 3 hours long - and that scares me to death but I might be able to use this to my advantage - no way will DH want to be away from work for that length of time so going when we have the day off will be better. If all fails though, I can still ask in that DM about being fast-tracked if I am likely to collapse and/or vomit through fear in the queue.

I do feel calmer once there is a potential plan in motion.

I realise I can't live like this, particularly if boosters are going to become a way of life. I know I need professional help to deal with this but just picking up the phone to the GP seems like too big a step. I worry that I won't be taken seriously or be fobbed off with CBT which I've previously tried and it didn't work. I also hate the thought of having to explain myself to the receptionist in the first place and have a horrible feeling they won't see this as a serious enough problem for the GP. Can I trouble you lovely people for further advice on this? How to present this as a real issue and ensure I get the support I need?

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 07/07/2021 17:08

She’ll never be a tattooist but she can get through an immunisation now!

It's strange, while I will never be a tattooist, they don't bother me. My fear is purely of hypodermic needles. Phobias are completely irrational and it's a shame so many people (not on this thread obviously) are so dismissive of them. Someone asked me the other day if I'd be OK for the booster if I need one as I've had both jabs now. No, I won't, it doesn't quite work like that!

I know how my phobia started. I've never been good with needles but I never used to be this bad until one incident. I will try hypnotherapy but the stupid thing is I'm afraid to do it as I don't want to face it. Like the OP I don't know where to start though, although I do know I need to do something.

@Notimmaturejustscared, please DM the centre if you can and ask what they have in place. As I said, the centre I went to was amazing - as soon as they saw the state I was in I was taken straight through.

MRex · 07/07/2021 18:43

Yes, I think sending a DM is the best way forward. You're try articulate, you can ask for what you need and they'll be able to help. It looks like the numbers jabbed each day are reducing, so hopefully it won't be ridiculously busy anyway (but by all means tell your DH it will be)!

MRex · 07/07/2021 18:46

@PinkSparklyPussyCat - you've don't brilliantly to get two doses. It's a shame people around you aren't more supportive either, I'd be very proud of both of you if you were my friend or family member. (And a booster may not even be necessary, or not necessary yet, so no need to think about it right now.)

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 07/07/2021 18:57

Thanks @MRex. I'm very lucky that DH and my closest friends have been very supportive so it does mean I can deal with the ones that aren't more easily.

I think a lot of people genuinely don't understand the difference between not liking or being scared of something to a genuine phobia. I also believe that many people don't realise how irrational phobias can be.

I was in the hairdressers last week and a woman was saying she worked in phlebotomy and had no sympathy for people with tattoos who said they had a needle phobia. I normally keep quiet but couldn't let it go so I explained that I'm fine with tattoos and piercings and I also told her about the reason for my phobia (while my stomach was doing cartwheels!) and she said she'd never thought if it like that before. It wasn't easy for me to go into details but hopefully it made her think a little bit.

NotImmatureJustScared · 08/07/2021 09:51

I’m an awe of PinkSparklyPussyCat and others who have managed to have two vaccines. It really does feel like I’m facing a mountain but you are genuinely inspiring me.

Had a really good talk with DH last night. Had a bit of a curveball thrown in though when he opened his envelop and found that he’s actually been given a different appointment to me. I just assumed that having had exactly the same date and time first time around and then the envelopes arriving together again, we would follow the same pattern but this isn’t the case. Like me, he’s been given the RHC as a centre but his appointment is Monday morning at 10.45am. Mine is Tuesday at 11.30am. Furthermore, due to a major thing he has going on at work on Tuesday morning, he wouldn’t be able to leave/work flexibly to take me to the centre. This is a further concern for me as I’m also a bit of a nervous driver (I know, I’m coming across as being scared of everything in this thread) and this route would be completely unfamiliar to me which seems like too much to deal with on top of the state I’ll already be in.

We had a really good talk about the options available. He said he’s been thinking a lot about what I’ve been saying about needed the familiarity of the previous centre and is starting to understand and realises that if this is what it takes to ensure I have the second dose then so be it. He also realises that this phobia isn’t going away but will get better with reinforced positive experiences so the “just do it” and don’t ask for special treatment attitude will not work and will only set me back. At the same time though, I’m starting to realise that his very fixed attitude to following rules is a form of anxiety (although he hasn’t admitted to this) and that he is genuinely uncomfortable about not doing exactly what the letter says and not just falling into line at the centres. On reflection, he has been very unhelpful to my situation BUT he isn’t calling me stupid or behaving like my parents and sister. It’s a different issue altogether.

We did a lot of googling and reading and he did seem much more comfortable having watched and read the speech from Sturgeon, that GoldenOmbre linked. He has pointed out though that he only talk about choosing to drop in at a more convenient day or time, not going to a different centre and he is worried that we’ll be turned away from the first centre (henceforth, Centre A) and told we can only use RHC (Centre B) as a drop-in. We’ve also found out that Centre A is closing next week because they can only store and give AZ and the demand for this is disappearing as all over 40s get their second dose. As it happens, Centre B has expanded floorspace and capacity to deal with final overspill from Centre A. DH is also therefore concerned that although Centre A is advertised as drop-in – their stock may be limited and they may not admit everyone.

We’ve decided on the following plan. We’re going to go to Centre A first thing on Monday morning. I’ll talk to (in reality probably cry at) the person on the door, explaining that we both have later scheduled appointments but that there are two issues, the first being convenience and the second is due to my phobia and need for familiarity. Hopefully, they will then take us both and everything with be fine(ish). It is possible though that they might only take me and tell DH he has to go to his actual appointment since it is later that morning. This is also ok. I’ll get done, will be back in happy state and we’ll drive to centre B later in the morning for DH. If they turn us both away, I’ll accompany DH to Centre B – I realise there will be different queues for scheduled appointments and drop-ins but I’m hopeful that we can talk to a marshall to explain the situation and hopefully get me fast-tracked and into a screened-off area. Let’s face it, if we get to that scenario, where I’ve already attended one centre and been turned away and then have to face another, I’ll be a hyperventilating mess at that point anyway so I doubt there will be too much explaining to do.
I’m really hopeful that we won’t get to the third scenario but I think I might still DM the centre anyway on the pretext that I will be there on Monday, just to find out what arrangements they have.

I realise that I’m putting even more thought into this than I did the first, when I should in theory be more confident but I think there are two reasons for this. One is the knowledge that I only got through the first due to the special arrangements made. I’ve read other MN threads about vaccines which have said that not all centres have these facilities and this has scared me silly. I know, I know, I shouldn’t feed the fear. The other is that I genuinely did get into a somewhat confident state last time around based on all the testimonials here saying that they hadn’t felt the needle nor realised that the injection has been given. I did feel mine. It wasn’t painful as such but it was felt and that’s enough to make me nervous about the second. A few people irl have also said to me that the second was much more painful than the first. For me, my phobia is linked to pain but that’s not the whole story. It’s the thought of the needle being in my body and feeling it go in is a reminder that this is happening and that makes me freak out. After the euphoria of the first one had worn off I remembered that after than initial and scary deep scratch, I had tried to move away, thinking it was over but the nurse told me to stay still for a minute. I thought this was just about keeping me calm but I realised later that she was still delivering the injection and this made me feel really ill. I am now trying to deal with the fact that for the second time around I’ll have to again deal with the scratch and possibly pain, and then the knowledge that the needle is still inside me. I don’t know if this makes any sense and I’m really sorry if this description has triggered other phobic folk on this thread. It has helped me write it down and untangle my thoughts and I really hope it’s not at the expense of others.

I started looking into hypnotherapy last night but it is so expensive and doesn’t seem to be available on the NHS.

OP posts:
NotImmatureJustScared · 08/07/2021 10:09

Also, I realise that I've been guilty of not understanding the different types of phobia and how this relates to tattoos. I've previously thought that people with tattoos can't possibly be scared of injections but this thread has really helped me understand this. For me, the fear is about my skin being pierced/body breached in any way and that would include getting a tattoo but I do now see how this is different from a vaccine situation.

Interestingly, I remember once reading an interview with Alice Cooper where he said that everyone expects him to be tattooed but he has none and that is due to a needle phobia, so I guess he is similar to me. Wonder how he has dealt with his vaccines Grin

OP posts:
CaramelFlat · 08/07/2021 11:02

If it helps, I don't think the pain from the second needle should be particularly likely to be more than the first - it's mostly to do with who gives it to you, I think! Mine was fine both times and both times felt almost exactly the same. I had fewer after effects from the second.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 08/07/2021 11:27

Please don't be in awe of me, I could only do it as DH was so supportive. He was ill a couple of days before my appointment and I went into a complete panic as I know I wouldn't have been able to get there on my own. He did all the talking for me and I know it's not easy for him as he's partially deaf and is really struggling with people in masks but I could barely string a sentence together.

Regarding the tattoos, I was the same until the incident that turned my dislike of needles into a full blown phobia. I lumped it all in together and it was only when it happened to me that I realised how irrational phobias are and how strange it must seem to other people.

I'm so glad you've been able to speak to to DH and I hope your plans work out. I've also thought about hypnotherapy but as you say it's so expensive. I'm going to keep looking though, although I don't know if I'll be brave enough to do it anyway.

Every time you wear your lovely boots and I look and my Gucci watch we can be proud of ourselves!

prettybird · 10/07/2021 10:49

You've done brilliantly to get this far. Thanks

I got my 2nd jab at a pop-up clinic (before they were common but I live in what was a hot-spot). I hadn't actually got my blue letter with the appointment (it arrived the following day) but they told me it was next week and did I still want to go ahead just then? They were fine with me saying just to go ahead - but asked that I call to cancel my "official" appointment, to make it available to someone else.

Be warned though: there is no way to cancel an appointment on-line Confused: you have to hang on in the queue on the phone Hmm I was 207th in the queue and it took, iirc, 17 minutes to get to the top of the queue. I just put my phone on speaker and did other stuff on my computer while I waited.

prettybird · 10/07/2021 10:54

...and re-reading your latest post more throughly, it might be reassuring to know that my pop-up vaccination centre was in the south of Glasgow, whereas my "booked" 2nd jag was would have been at the Louisa Jordan (where I'd had my first).

Take the official (CMI?) number on your letter when you go along: they can find it with your name, DoB and address but it makes it easier for them if you have/know it.

NotImmatureJustScared · 13/07/2021 09:57

Second dose was received yesterday. It wasn’t a great experience, but not terrible either and I’m really trying to focus on the positives.

The biggest issue was my focus on going back to the same place and my need for familiarity. I had everything planned out meticulously and was feeling genuinely confident and actually empowered by the fact that I was proactively arranging the second dose. I knew that the centre was due to close – there had been a lot of coverage in local news and social media. This centre would only be open until 14 July and that was fine. I was choosing to go on the 12th. One of the good things about that centre was that it was just outside our village so although still technically a mass hub, was relatively small and as I said the first time, everyone was so friendly. Anyway, we started driving there yesterday morning and I was feeling nervous but generally pretty good. Then we saw the “vaccine centre closed” signs. I started to panic but DH was trying to keep me calm, saying it might just be temporary so we would drive in anyway and speak to someone to find out if it would be open later in the day.

While he went to find someone, I was frantically googling and found out that the centre had been so busy over the weekend they had run out of stock and rather than order more for only a few days, they had closed down early. By the time DH came back to the car I was sobbing my heart out and in full on panic mode saying I wasn’t going to get the second dose and going elsewhere was not an option for me. He was going on about how I had obviously read the date wrong (the person he spoke to had only said it was closed but didn’t give him the reason why) and this was my own fault. I was hyperventilating and trying to explain and he was trying to calm me down so we could consider what to do next and then this officious twat in a hi-vis vest knocked on the car and told us we had to move on. As the centre was no longer in use we were technically trespassing on private property. DH tried to reason with him, pointing out the state I was in, which was getting worse by the second but he just shrugged and said we had to leave. We drove quickly to a nearby supermarket carpark where DH finally read the article giving the reason for the closure, apologised and tried again to calm me down. I did really want to be fully vaccinated but was scared of going to a huge centre which was our only option. I felt it would be louder, scarier and less personal. DH persuaded me though that there would be nice people and private facilities there and maybe some of the staff from “our centre” would have been transferred there. He promised he would advocate for me and ensure I got the support I needed. I was also freaking out because I’d been so confident, I hadn’t brought along any of my coping tools – no rescue remedy, headphones, cue cards etc and didn’t know if I could do it without them. I’ll be honest, I’d also made the mistake of reading some other MN threads which had stoked my fear – the one about sitting or standing for the vaccine, for example, where loads of people were saying that the centre they went to was so busy, there was no time to sit down, just walking forward, jabbed and out. This terrified me and I thought the large centre we were going to would be like that. Another thread had said that not all centres have screened off areas or the facility for people to lie down. I hadn’t sent the DM to the large centre because I’d become so confident in plan A and now I was dealing with the unknown again. It was also a long drive there and my panic just grew and grew as we went.

The car park was quite far from the building and I was shaking so much my legs could barely hold me as we walked across. I was also already crying by this point and really disappointed that we passed so many staff who didn’t seem to notice – so many positive posts on this thread and others have spoken about body language being spotted and extra help being given immediately. It was also really busy with so many people and although this isn’t something that normally affects me, the enormity of everything was giving my sensory overload. There was one guy at the front desk, welcoming and directing people. He seemed quite bored. There was a huge sign next to him saying “ask if you need extra assistance”. DH spoke to him to explain we had appointments at a later time but were using the walk-in facility now but didn’t say anything about the help I would need. I was pointing at the sign, could barely speak and through my tears saying, “that’s me, I need help” but they both ignored me. The guy opened the main door where there was rows and rows of cubicles and told us to go through. DH just hared off and I stayed rooted to the spot. My feet would not move forward and I just started shaking my head saying “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t” over and over again. DH realised I wasn;t with him and came back. There was a queue building up behind me and the guy on the desk was telling me, not unkindly, that I had to move to the side but I was utterly paralysed. DH managed to get me into a corner and at that point I utterly lost it. I was screaming at DH, saying he was supposed to support me and speak for me and also gesturing towards the other guy, shouting about why had he ignored the fact that I was clearly upset and was asking for help. Genuinely I’m not proud of this and am grateful for all that the paid staff and volunteers do, but in that moment I was upset and out of control. A security guard came and ushered us into a side room which was obviously set up as the private area for people like me although there was no bed or reclining chair, just a normal chair. When I got in there I started hyperventilating. I’ve had panic attacks before but nothing like this. The noises coming from my own chest and throat as a struggled to breathe, were awful and making me even worse. DH was also getting upset, having never seen me like that before. He was actually crying, trying to persuade me to breathe properly.

A lovely man came in. He had the most amazingly calm demeanour. He put the lights off, held my hand, rubbed my back and took me through breathing exercises until the worst was past. He then just sat and spoke to me for a few minutes. He wasn’t a vaccinator (I actually begged him to give me my jab as I felt I could trust him so much) but he did have a background in dealing with trauma and panic attacks. He said we could move to another room where I could lie down but this would be the resus room and I might find that more intimidating, plus I’d have to walk through the main hall to get there so I chose to stay where we were. He said he would bring in the vaccinator only when I was ready and he really gave me back the confidence I had lost to I agreed to go ahead.

The vaccinator was nice enough but very clinical so no cheerleading for me as with the first time around. I was a bit annoyed that when she started asking me questions (name, address etc) and I immediately faltered and couldn’t get the words out, she just turned to DH and asked him to speak for me. She literally had her back to me while they discussed me, which made me feel quite rubbish. Then she gave the injection. As she came around to my left side, took hold of my arm and pointed at the opposite corner of the room, telling me to look over there, I started babbling about how I needed a minute to do some breathing exercises and relax my arm but she said it was too late, it was already done. I genuinely had not felt a thing. I know others on this thread have said this was their experience but I honestly thought this was an exaggeration and that it wouldn’t be possible to not feel a needle being jabbed into your arm. I just kept gaping at her saying that I couldn’t believe it was done. She said she is well known at the centre for having good technique so I guess that’s why she was called to deal with me despite not having amazing bedside manner. I was so bowled over by the experience, I actually asked to see the needle. Never ever thought this would be something I’d do but it was actually useful to see how small and thin it was, rather than the giant syringe of my imagination. I don’t think seeing it beforehand would have helped at all but afterwards, in the context of having received a painless injection was pretty helpful. DH was in the room throughout so he got his next. Funnily enough, he’d been so upset at seeing me in the state I was in that she assumed he too was phobic and tearful at the prospect of the injection. I kept my eyes tightly closed for DH’s injection – seeing the needle was one thing but I couldn’t watch it being done in front of me. As with the last time, I was on a euphoric high afterwards and when we left the room, made sure to thank everyone involved, including the guy on the desk and I apologised to him too.

So not the best experience and definitely not as smooth as the first time around but I did it and that is a good feeling! As I said at the start, I’m trying to focus on the positives and I realise that a lot of the issues stemmed from the quick change in plans and lack of time to prepare for the new plan. I probably did go to the large centre in a negative frame of mind which wouldn’t have helped. At the end of the day though, I was able to have the injection away from crowds and avoid the sights and sounds of the main hall; nobody was horrible nor belittled me at any point and the injection itself was absolutely fine. These are the points to remember. Also DH was quiet all day and finally, once we were in bed, became extremely apologetic about not helping me at check-in and he had realised that this simple act (or, non-act) had made things worse.

I suppose that if I had known for sure that I’d be going to the other centre, my panic would have peaked earlier – you can tell from my posts last week that it was getting there – and then practicality would have taken over. I would have prepared a bag, rehearsed what to say etc but I was utterly thrown off course yesterday. YET STILL DID IT!!!! I know that some of my experiences might be frightening to others reading this and I genuinely hope I don’t put others off. This is not my intention but I do find it genuinely helpful to write it all down and debrief with myself in this space. I hope any others will look at some of the more negative experiences as a tool for understand what might happen and provocation to take steps to deal with these in advance, if that makes sense. Above all, being double-vaxxed is a really great feeling.

OP posts:
SCMocha · 13/07/2021 10:15

Well done! It is a great feeling to be done, and you can be proud of yourself that you overcame SUCH a fear to still do it - that is really, really impressive. And you've helped so many other vulnerable people by having both jabs, too, so you've done a good thing both for you and for them. Maybe the fact that you had an injection that you found painless will help a small bit for anything you have to do another time.

But now you can just revel in the fact that you are more protected, you've helped others, and hopefully your husband now understands a bit more about what you go through. And you can go buy some more boots!