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Needle phobia, vaccination and unsympathetic family

256 replies

Notimmaturejustscared · 13/04/2021 17:56

Please help me. I am extremely needle-phobic and, as you might expect, am finding the current vaccination programme very challenging. I am determined to have the vaccine. My phobia has, in the past, stopped me from doing all sorts of things – travelling and even seeking medical treatment at times. I spent most of 2020 in a state of constant anxiety knowing that having an injection would be my only way out of the pandemic and trying to find legitimate ways of avoiding the needle. I’ve eventually come to the conclusion though that regaining freedom is the line I thought I’d never find – for the first time in my life, I want to be vaccinated, even if the actual process still scares me to death.

I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I could turn off that bit of my brain which goes into fight or flight mode and unfortunately with me it is always one of those. I have run hysterically from a GP Office, blindly shoving people out of the way and not even aware of what I was doing until I was “safely” outside. If not taking flight, I struggle and scream. I sometimes vomit. I wish I could be a demure fainter. I know it’s irrational but I also know I can’t control it. I had CBT a few years ago which was focused on dental treatment but included injections in general. I can now, with a lot of support and a practice specialising in phobia, cope with dental treatment but the CBT didn’t touch my more general needle phobia. The programme was supposed to culminate with me giving blood but I got into such a state upon entering the building, hyperventilating and struggling to get away that I was told “we don’t need your blood that much, the risk to your own health is too great”. I’m been revisiting all my CBT learning though for the last few months, trying to change my thinking so that I can cope with this vaccination. I’m going with faking it until I make it and have just about convinced myself that I am really looking forward to the vaccination, talking about how much I want it, forcing myself to desensitise by looking at images and watching tv coverage that I would normally switch over. I have rehearsed a short spiel to give as soon as I enter the centre, explaining that I’m very nervous and likely to cry and panic. I was almost there until…

My sister has started volunteering at the local vaccination centre. My sister is one of those no-nonsense types and has been telling me with disapproval and mocking attitude about grown men and women who come in all nervous about this tiny needle. She doesn’t know the extent of my phobia. She remembers how I was in childhood and how badly I reacted to injections at school but assumes I’ve grown up and gotten over all of that nonsense. She’s loved all things medical for as long as I can remember and has some real gallows-type humour about medical procedures as well as a bit of a gladiatorial attitude about how much she can undergo without making a fuss. Her DD was very ill in childhood (thankfully ok now) and this has given her an attitude of “I can’t believe a grown adult would make such a fuss when my DD had to go through much worse procedures with barely a whimper”. Having come so close to feeling I can go through with this, I’m now beside myself with fear about my sister seeing me in this kind of state. It’s not just DSis though, my parents also used to compare my fear to her stoicism and made clear they hated my weakness. I’ve not had any reason to discuss injections with my parents in over 25 years but they did recently ask if I was going to get the vaccine or if I was still “stupid about these things”. I acted really breezy, saying that childhood was a long time ago and of course I would get it. Of course if my sister sees me freaking out, she’ll tell our parents and my family will mock me/be disappointed forever more.

We’re in Scotland so my understanding is that the vaccination appointment is basically a summons, rather than elsewhere in the UK where it is an invitation to book a slot. If that were the case I could book on the days I know she doesn’t volunteer (she does 5 days) but as it is, I won’t have a choice. Recently she was laughing about how a friend of hers came in so she told the vaccinator to “stab this one hard” and how she’ll say similar if she is working when I come in. This is hilarious to her but it has put me in a state of blind panic. I actually threw up after that phone call. Aside from DSis seeing me in my phobic state and possibly adding to it, I’m also concerned about any medical confidentiality. I know that she sometimes does the checking-in side of things and sometimes does queue control and I’m worried about what the checking-in involves. If she is checking me in will she see my medical records at any point? There’s stuff I really don’t want her to know in there. I’m also on some mediation at the moment which I don’t want her to know about – would I have to divulge this?

Please can someone talk me down and help me find some coping tips.

OP posts:
Doyouwantanothercuppa · 13/04/2021 17:59

Can you call your GP and discuss having the vaccination elsewhere? For medical reasons.

Fortherosesjoni70 · 13/04/2021 18:01

Its not a summons in Scotland. It is completely voluntary.
You can rearrange your appointment. You need to go on the nhs website or phone to rebook. Nothing about your details are shared with others. They do not have medical records. They don't have details. They ask you a few questions. The jag is fine. I hardly felt mine.

Temp023 · 13/04/2021 18:04

Take two Valium, make sure someone drives you to the vaccination site.

catatecheese · 13/04/2021 18:17

Hi, lots come in like you , we even have an area they can lie down for it. Deep breathing it's literally a second and honestly it doesn't hurt at the time! Oh but please don't turn up with visible tattoo s and do the whole crying and hyperventilating I'm needle phobic act as that doesn't impress us, and probably why your sister lacks sympathy. See multiple a day like this and most do have tattoos on showHmm so no not needle phobic.

MrMeSeeks · 13/04/2021 18:20

Change your site. She is completely unproessional.

Notimmaturejustscared · 13/04/2021 18:24

Thank you for these first responses. I'm already feeling a bit calmer (was worried I'd have my arse handed to me). I don't think I can go elsewhere as I'm quite rural and there's only one site nearby. Valium is a good idea. I could ring the GP and see if they will prescribe. Also good to know that I can rearrange the appointment. I really didn't think that was possible - had heard that you get an appointment slot on the letter and if you are a no-show they will just send another letter with a new slot. The fact that I can book it for a day that she won't be there is a huge weight off my mind.

Just in case though, she switches days unexpectedly, Fortheroses can I ask what kind of questions are asked? One of the things that worries me is that if astrazeneca is being offered that day, with the recent media around blood clots in women, I wonder if I'll be asked about being on the pill? I am on the pill but my family are ultra-catholic and would be furious if they knew.

For the record, I'm not hugely worried about the tiny chance of clots with AZ but if there is a potential that the risk could be increased due to the pill then I want to make sure I'm giving correct information give correct information and not put myself at risk but don't want to risk my sister overhearing.

How many times can I use the word "risk" in one paragraph Grin

I've heard a lot of people say the injection doesn't hurt, which definitely helps my confidence. One colleague said it was really sore and I'm trying to block this out and focus on the majority feedback, plus the fact that all the people shown getting it in the media are really calm and don't flinch a bit. At first I thought I couldn't stand to watch but actually this is really helping.

I know it's stupid but I feel like doing this could be the first day of the rest of my life. Voluntarily submitting to an injection is something I never would have seen myself doing. I'm now really committed to seeing it through and want to give myself as positive an experience as possible so that I can use this as a building block for the next time, and possibly actually conquer this phobia, or at least manage it. I know that even if I cry and fall to pieces, that doesn't necessarily mean the experience will be negative, it just means I have to acknowledge that reaction and do it anyway. I think that's why I'm so wound up about DSis - all this work I'm doing could be undone if she makes the experience negative.

OP posts:
Notimmaturejustscared · 13/04/2021 18:27

I have no tattoos and never will have. This is a proper needle phobia. Just the thought makes me feel very shaky. I once quit a job because the building was next door to a tattoo parlour and I could hear the needle buzzing through the walls.

OP posts:
Toilenstripes · 13/04/2021 18:27

Definitely take a Valium, let them know you’re nervous. You probably won’t even feel it. We can’t talk you down, but you can talk yourself down and that’s what you will need to do.

Suzi888 · 13/04/2021 18:29

Haven’t had mine yet. Work colleagues had theirs yesterday. Some felt a scratch, others nothing at all.
Can’t you rebook or have it elsewhere even if it means travelling. Your sister sounds like a nasty piece of work!

Suzi888 · 13/04/2021 18:30

Can you take someone with you?

Alfaix · 13/04/2021 18:33

The questions we ask are:
Do you feel well today with no temperature?
Have you tested positive for Covid in the last 4 weeks?
Have you had any other vaccines in the last week eg flu?
Do you take blood thinners eg warfarin?
Are you pregnant or ttc?
Were you on any of the vaccine trials?
Any serious allergies/ anaphylaxis/ epipen?

unsure111 · 13/04/2021 18:33

I've worked in one of the vaccination centres. Although we didn't have a lot of people with phobias I remember a man who came to us and he was petrified couldn't barely string a sentence together and honestly thought he was going to pass out. Everyone was so so lovely with him and calmed him down. By the end he didn't even know the needle had gone in. He even said himself oh was that it. You can talk to your Gp who may be able to off diazepam or something similar to help you calm down. We do prescribe that medication for people who have a fear of small spaces who are going for a scan.

Babdoc · 13/04/2021 18:37

Hi, OP. I’m a retired doctor, and I just wanted to say you are making fantastic progress in coming to terms with your phobia. You are able to think about the arrangements, you have seen people getting their vaccination on the news, you are telling yourself all the positives, like being free of the risk of Covid in future.
And you are making all these great strides despite your utterly useless sister and parents, who are unwittingly doing everything they can to make your phobia worse!
Give yourself a huge pat on the back. Be proud of your progress. And contact your GP for a wee dose of diazepam to help get you through the appointment.
Afterwards, you are going to be so proud of yourself. And you will have confidence to go for your second dose, knowing that you managed once already.
Best wishes, OP. You can do this.

hiredandsqueak · 13/04/2021 18:38

I'm a bit of a weirdo in that I'm not scared of needles if it's taking blood but I'm terrified of having something injected into me after an IM antibiotic shot more than thirty years ago.
I did have my jab and I can tell you all the worrying I did was so pointless. They were really understanding that there might be people afraid and so reassuring.
As it was one distracted me by talking and the jab was pretty much painless. I'm not worried now at all about having the second dose. Book when your sister isn't there OP they will be kind and understanding and it will be over before you realise.

Notimmaturejustscared · 13/04/2021 18:41

I will be just like that man. There have been so many instances when I've sat at the GP or dentist and couldn't string a sentence together. Couldn't even remember my own name. I'm planning to write down a couple of bullet points to pass over if my words utterly fail me. Knowing the questions in advance is helpful too. The more I can be prepared, the more I will feel in control and therefore more able to see it through.

I think I really need to impress on DH the extent of the phobia too. He knows I'm nervous but keeps brushing it off saying, "you can't be that bad" and "once you're there you'll be absolutely fine". He's never been around when I've been in full on flight or fight mode.

OP posts:
Notimmaturejustscared · 13/04/2021 18:42

babdoc You've literally just made me cry. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks from reading your message.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/04/2021 18:56

@catatecheese

Hi, lots come in like you , we even have an area they can lie down for it. Deep breathing it's literally a second and honestly it doesn't hurt at the time! Oh but please don't turn up with visible tattoo s and do the whole crying and hyperventilating I'm needle phobic act as that doesn't impress us, and probably why your sister lacks sympathy. See multiple a day like this and most do have tattoos on showHmm so no not needle phobic.
Please be so judgemental. People like you are the reason I'm embarrassed to mention my needle phobia and have turned down medical tests in the past. I have a fear of hypodermic needles, not tattoo needles, not piercing needles, just hypodermic needles. If you understood phobias you'd realise they aren't rational. (I appreciate it's not easy to understand if you don't have one yourself)

OP, I hope you can get an appointment away from your sister. I understand how you feel, I could have had an appointment in a local pharmacy but have chosen to go further away, partly because they have longer hours but mainly to make sure I don't see anyone I know.

Good luck 💐

Frequentflier · 13/04/2021 19:02

If you search this forum there were lots of threads about needle phobia which might be helpful, where other phobics gave tips. Can your DH not come with you and hold your hand?

Quit4me · 13/04/2021 19:09

Ahh I know exactly how you feel as I also have this level of phobia with dental treatment and smears.
I have a phobia of needles too but slightly less than you. However I have cried and sobbed and turned myself inside out for an hour previously in the waiting queue for a blood test.
I’ve heard from literally everyone that this needle is tiny and very quick- really not much pain and it’s done so that helps me. A few deep breaths and I’m hoping to get through it by not looking anywhere near it.
Smears and dentists I get through with diazepam but even then it’s a huge huge trauma and I have had to be sedated before.
Totally can relate.
You can do it though. Take the diazipam, take someone with you and just put one step in front of the other with slow breathing until you get there.
Think of the lovely treat you are going to give yourself afterwards (I always arrange somewhere nice to go or eat / drink as a reward straight after.)

XenoBitch · 13/04/2021 19:19

@catatecheese

Hi, lots come in like you , we even have an area they can lie down for it. Deep breathing it's literally a second and honestly it doesn't hurt at the time! Oh but please don't turn up with visible tattoo s and do the whole crying and hyperventilating I'm needle phobic act as that doesn't impress us, and probably why your sister lacks sympathy. See multiple a day like this and most do have tattoos on showHmm so no not needle phobic.
Tattoos and injections are totally different. Attitudes like yours are why a lot of needle phobic wont seek vaccinations, or even medical treatment. Pretty disgusting to read you work in a vaccination centre. No one fakes crying and hyperventilating. If they managed to get themselves to a vaccination centre and they are that terrified, they are strong as hell and do not deserve your judgement. That should impress you, not mean you lack sympathy.

OP, I am severely needle phobic, and I wont be getting the vaccine. The impact on my mental health is just too great. I have read there is a nasal spray in the works though. I hope it all goes well for you and that you manage to go at a time your sister is not working.

Babdoc · 13/04/2021 21:15

Notimmaturejustscared, oh dear - I didn’t mean to make you cry! Bless you, you just need to focus on how well you are doing, and ignore the sadistic relatives. I’d give them the sharp edge of my tongue if I got hold of them - they obviously have no understanding of phobias at all, and damn all sympathy for you.
You are doing brilliantly. Most phobics need several sessions of gradual desensitisation to solve the problem- you are doing it all unaided. You toughie, you! Keep on like this and you will be able to mentor other phobics soon! Come back and update us all on MN when you’ve been done - you will deserve boasting rights then.

BogRollBOGOF · 13/04/2021 22:59

I was fast tracked through my vaccination centre. A marshall spotted my body language and asked me if I wanted fast tracking and she got someone to guide me through to the front and I was through thr building in less than 5 minutes.

My issue isn't the needles, it's a very quick sensory overwhelm to covering my face (I've had to give up in the supermarket, but given levels of people present and proximity the risk: benefit is different). I also struggle communicating around people in masks. Nonetheless, the people at the centre are trained to look out for people struggling with a range of triggers or health needs Smile

Once you're there, the service is very quick which is helpful at not giving anxieties time to manifest in the way that waiting around for a GP appointment would.

Your sis should knoe better and I certainly hope that she's more empathetic to others while she's at the centre!

Good luck Flowers

FascinatingCarrot · 13/04/2021 23:16

I think you have excelled yourself in getting this far. Im honestly so impressed that you have thought about it and still are determined to get it done.

Beetle76 · 14/04/2021 00:04

I’m properly needle phobic too - when I was a child I was a “fighter” but now I go into flight mode. If I get left alone for a second before a procedure, I’m gone like a scone!

Like you, I am very motivated to get vaccinated. Fortunately my current GP is fully supportive of me getting the help I need. If yours is not, change GPs. Life is too short to deal with people who won’t help when help is genuinely needed. That would be my approach with your sister too for what it’s worth.

My GP prescribed a couple of doses of Xanax and some topical lidocaine. She also gave me some tips too which were helpful: hydrate really well from the day before as it keeps your blood pressure up (I have low blood pressure) Try to eat well on the day of your appointment - this is a bit of a joke as I could barely touch a thing from nerves - but did manage a nutrition shake and some crackers. Take a juice box with you for afters.

Have someone with you - as I was sedated, there was no way I could go alone and my “minder” was not challenged at any point and could advocate for me should I have lost my words (I didn’t)

I’m usually a fainter, so I told myself that as long as I didn’t hurt myself on the way down, it didn’t actually matter if I fainted or not. The same with being sick when I come round. Because I had a sick bag handy, it wouldn’t matter if I was sick because I wouldn’t be wearing it and neither would the nurse or my minder.

(For the first time EVER I did neither of these things. YAY! GO ME!)

It wasn’t easy by any means, but definitely more manageable which is a step in the right direction.

I’ve got my second appointment coming up so it’ll be a rinse and repeat of the things that worked well and some refining of the things that didn’t. Practice makes perfect and all of that.

I really hope you get sorted. Good luck!

Torvean · 14/04/2021 02:28

You ever heard of Headspace? Its an app where its goes through things ppl have difficulty with. The guy has a soothing voice that could keep you calm while waiting your turn. The nurse will be used to ppl who are anxious. But the majority of ppl after its doe comment Is that it? You can do it.