I can’t get out of bed

[fireflylanegirls]

I feel like my life is over. I literally couldn’t get out of bed this morning, the way I feel is just too bad.

I spent over a year worrying about Covid, not just worrying, obsessing.
Panic attacks, sleepless nights, I couldn’t focus on my family life, couldn’t concentrate because of the worry.

I was finally vaccinated and although initially I didn’t feel any better, within a few weeks i started to feel so much happier.

Then the shit news comes about the clots from the vaccine.

I feel absolutely numb. I’ve spent the last 24hours just crying. I wish I’d never had the vaccine now.
It’s been 4 weeks and I’m such a nervous wreck.

My husband has had to drop our son at my mother in laws today because I’m in no fit state to look after him.

I’ve called my GP and have been told to increase my Sertraline to 100mg.

I absolutely hate living with this fear.

I knew this vaccine was too good to be true 😩

PS: I have mental health issues and see a psychiatrist. GPs are good for general, first level care. Serious issues need more specialist input

When you’re in the middle of a severe mental health spiral like this, you need to outsource your rationality to someone else. For example your husband, or random poll of people on here!

Do you accept you have anxiety: yes
Do you accept that alters your perception of risk and health matters: yes
Do you accept that everyone around you does not agree with you: yes

Then you need to try to accept that YOUR BRAIN IS LYING TO YOU. You are right that you are severely ill right now—the only problem is you’re misdiagnosing the cause. You’re refusing to listen to your doctors and to other people who know about the issue.

Have you seen the film Shutter Island, or anything about people with delusions or schizophrenia? When you know your brain is lying to you and making things up, you have to turn to someone outside of the mental loop and OUTSOURCE YOUR JUDGEMENT to them.

Op I've seen all your other posts and I do think this has got to the point where you need to be getting more help than you are.
The help and support you have received on all your threads have not made a bit of difference to you.
I get it, I have health anxiety and I recognise that by constantly posting you're looking for some sort of reassurance but you're past the stage of accepting this. You have convinced yourself you have a blood clot and absolutely nothing anyone says on here will convince you otherwise.
My worry is that you say you are scared of dying and leaving your son, but by not accepting that you haven't got a blood clot what, in your 2 days off work this week, have you done with your son? You're wasting precious time with him by making your husband take him to your MIL's and lie on your behalf.

I honestly don't know the solution but I can't see why any of your threads are helping, they just seem to be fuelling your anxieties.
I really hope you get the help you so desperately need

What action plan would I be wanting someone to push me into in your place?

Firstly, you need to get private health treatment on top of what you currently have. You need this so desperately it should be on a par with buying food for the house. You are not functioning, nothing you are buying for the baby is more important than you getting better for your child. If you can’t afford 2 hours per week going forward, can you at least get 2 hours now and do 1 hour a week in the future? It’s an investment in your family income, you NEED this.

I would also seriously consider trying to get myself inpatient care. In your place I would absolutely consider trying to section myself. Anything that can be done now to kickstart your recovery. Your current medical plan is clealry not making a splash in the ocean of your current issues.

Op a close family member Of mine had a blood clot on their brain 6 weeks ago (not vaccine related) and they described the pain as all consuming, they were on the floor vomiting, you wouldn't be able to text let alone engage with other posters on the internet if you had a clot, your headache sounds as if it's a classic tension headache.
You can't carry on spiralling like this.
For what it's worth my relative is now fine and recovering at home.
Please get help💐

Just spoken to the Dr. I feel totally lost.

Firstly he said the headache I’m describing sounds very much like a tension type headache and he’s not concerned.

I told him I need more help, I’m not coping with my anxiety.
I need further support and that I’d spoken to the crisis team.

He asked me what more he wants me to do....

I asked him about seeing a psychiatrist and he said that would be up to my current therapist to arrange that.

I told him it’s affecting my life, my marriage, my sons life.
He told me to increase my Sertraline dose further.

I asked if I could have a face to face appointment with the GP because maybe then they could see how badly I’m suffering.
He’s booked me in for next Thursday.

I really feel like it was a waste of time.

I would also seriously consider trying to get myself inpatient care. In your place I would absolutely consider trying to section myself.

That's… really not how it works 😂

I would also seriously consider trying to get myself inpatient care. In your place I would absolutely consider trying to section myself.

Yeah well my Dr doesn’t agree with you...

@Boomchicka

Last time you were nitpicking about being a day short of 3 weeks post vaccine. You KNOW that once you get past the imaginary blood clot you'll be onto the next thing. If you have a blood clot I will personally send you flowers and apologise unreservedly. But you don't.

This

I can't decide whether this thread has gone past the point of severe health anxiety to just attention seeking?

You have a head ache because you've worked yourself up into a state about something that has a ridiculously small chance of happening to you?

I'm not sure just upping your dose of Sertraline is really going to get to the root cause of this anxiety and you (or your husband) should be requesting more professional psychiatric help at this point - the dose you said you were on sounds quite low anyway (my DH was on 20-40mg just for low level depression/anxiety)

OP, do you have financial resources?

I think you need to get your husband to research some private options if you do. Or email your therapist to get a private psychiatrist referral. Ask DH to do it for you if you can't manage it.

You need to take matters into your own hands now. See this as the first step in making a positive change. You don't want to continue life like this, and the great thing is it's in your power to try and change it.

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad OP. Living with anxiety can be really horrible. Am I right that prior to this increase you have only been on 50mg of sertraline? For most people that's not a therapeutic level and hopefully you will start feeling better once the higher dose is established.

The risk of clots really is tiny especially since your jab was several weeks ago. I know it's easy to say but try and find the positives, we have a lot to be thankful for. This time last year things looks very bleak but we are coming out of this now.

@FrankensteinIsTheMonster

I would also seriously consider trying to get myself inpatient care. In your place I would absolutely consider trying to section myself.

That's… really not how it works 😂

I know!!! But I would want my husband or family to be doing everything they could to get this treated as massively serious and a threat to me. I would do anything in this situation to try to help a family member get treatment. OP is a massive threat to herself, but as she hasn’t declared suicidal thoughts or tried to harm anyone she’s struggling to get this taken seriously—they’re basically saying she can lie in bed with antidepressants until it gets so bad she becomes an active threat to her own life. Mental health services often need to be booted into action and you need family to make a fuss for you

Do you own the property OP? If so you should remontage for private health treament ASAP. Do any family have savings they would be willing to loan?

@ivfbeenbusy

Attention seeking.... 🤷🏻‍♀️😓

I'm guessing the appointment is next Thursday to give time for the increased Sertraline dose to start working. When are you due to speak to your therapist next? If your gp was the least bit concerned about a blood clot you would be referred asap - but hearing that won't reassure your anxiety.

Gosh I’m sorry it’s so hard but next Thursday in the current climate is actually not too bad. Sadly enough.

Have you considered you’re now suffering from hypochondria as well?

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9983

I think with the face to face, increased meds, increase Cbt, you should notice some difference.

Do you think the longer you get from having rhe vaccine this will also help?

I’d discuss with your doctor on getting the second dose, I am not sure you’re well enough for that. As much as physically it’s better for you to have it, as you’ll get increased protection, in reality mentally I am unsure you can cope.

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

Do you own the property OP? If so you should remontage for private health treament ASAP. Do any family have savings they would be willing to loan?

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

Yes but I can’t just remortgage my home to pay for a therapist.
It’s just not possible.

@LIZS

I'm guessing the appointment is next Thursday to give time for the increased Sertraline dose to start working. When are you due to speak to your therapist next? If your gp was the least bit concerned about a blood clot you would be referred asap - but hearing that won't reassure your anxiety.

@LIZS

It just worries me that given my history of health anxiety, they wouldn’t take me seriously anyway.

@fireflylanegirls you really need to be engaging with the posts that are trying to help you. For the sake of clarity

GET. PRIVATE. HELP.
YOU. HAVE. THE. POWER. TO. HELP. YOURSELF.

What do you mean? Can you afford any private therapy sessions? How many did you contact?

@fireflylanegirls I would seriously consider it, I really would. You NEED this medical help, your baby needs to have you around.

2k would sort you for the next 2 months. Surely you can get a credit card or a loan from that? You’re spiralling and reaching crisis, what if this gets to the point where you can’t work? You can’t afford to NOT get this treatment

They will take you seriously if you tell them what you have told us, explain your behaviour.

How you no longer function, how your child is cared for by your mother in law or your husband because you’re not able to, about how you spend all day in bed crying, how you constantly think something is wrong with you and even told your husband you were having a brain heamoarrage. How you look for symptoms and the decide you’re seriously ill and can’t rationalise any more.

They will take you seriously. If you can’t get it out, write it down and hand it to the doctor.

The most disturbing aspect of this whole situation is that you truly believe that your fears are rational when they quite clearly aren’t. I had the AZ vaccine about 3 weeks ago and have had a crashing headache all day. The thought of a blood clot wouldn’t even enter my head. To me, that’s a normal reaction.
Your doctor isn’t concerned about blood clots. Your doctor is medically qualified. You presumably aren’t.

Your son will suffer from having a mum with these irrational fears. I hope you can gain a sense of perspective.

@fireflylanegirls

I feel like my life is over. I literally couldn’t get out of bed this morning, the way I feel is just too bad.

I spent over a year worrying about Covid, not just worrying, obsessing.
Panic attacks, sleepless nights, I couldn’t focus on my family life, couldn’t concentrate because of the worry.

I was finally vaccinated and although initially I didn’t feel any better, within a few weeks i started to feel so much happier.

Then the shit news comes about the clots from the vaccine.

I feel absolutely numb. I’ve spent the last 24hours just crying. I wish I’d never had the vaccine now.
It’s been 4 weeks and I’m such a nervous wreck.

My husband has had to drop our son at my mother in laws today because I’m in no fit state to look after him.

I’ve called my GP and have been told to increase my Sertraline to 100mg.

I absolutely hate living with this fear.

I knew this vaccine was too good to be true 😩

If you have been fine for 4 weeks, there’s almost certainly nothing to worry about. I am sorry you are feeling fearful, but, to be honest, staying in bed is pretty pointless.

Op there are many helplines for people to help you and talk to you

Here are some links.

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs-voluntary-charity-services/charity-and-voluntary-services/get-help-from-mental-health-helplines/