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Original poster

Parents refused the vaccine and now have covid

325 replies

ofallthedays · 05/04/2021 22:04

Even worse, they looked after my dd today as we are moving house and this has now meant we can’t see DPs parents tomorrow, on his birthday, for the first time in 6 months.
I am devastated. Worried for them (and me as I am pregnant). But most of all bloody angry and I don’t know if iabu to feel this way. But I can’t help being annoyed they didn’t have the vaccine. They have turned it down twice both from work and the GP.
I don’t even know what to say to PILs at the moment as I am embarrassed at the way my parents have handled the whole pandemic..and it has now cost PILs seeing their grandchild Sad
Not a question really, just wanted to vent. Maybe it’s my fault for letting them look after her? But didn’t feel I could blackmail them to make them have the vaccine. It’s so shit.
Any ideas to help me salvage DPs birthday much appreciated. I don’t even have a cake as MIL was bringing that.

OP posts:
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5
CarrieBlue · 05/04/2021 23:39

@Bumpinthenight

If they work in a school then a LFT should have been carried out on Sunday and Wed.

Not odd that they tested positive today when yesterday and Sunday should have given some sort of indication. My guess is that they didn't do it yesterday so they aren't playing ball with what school staff are supposed to be doing.

What else are they not doing?

It is not mandatory for school staff to test so there is no ‘what school staff are supposed to be doing’.
saraclara · 05/04/2021 23:40

@WerkWerkWerkWerkWerk it's not about the DP's birthday. It's about his parents seeing him for the first time in six months...for his birthday.

God, in their place I'd be SO upset and disappointed. I've been desperate to have both daughters here together (one is bubbled, one is not), and at least I get to see the other one occasionally for a walk. I've missed being a proper family and normal get-togethers so much.

I have to say I'd have been wrapping everyone in cotton wool to make sure nothing went wrong for them. It does seem a strange decision to use two teachers for vaguely unnecessary childcare so close to the big event.

saraclara · 05/04/2021 23:42

@Sweettea1

Even if they had have had vaccine you would be in the same position with isolating so can't blame it on them refusing.
What on earth kind of logic are you using there? If they'd had the vaccine they're unlikely to have caught the virus from whoever they picked it up from.
Bumpinthenight · 05/04/2021 23:47

From: dfemedia.blog.gov.uk/2021/03/09/back-to-school-week-everything-you-need-to-know/
'Teaching and non-teaching staff should take twice-weekly... '
The OP has already stated they took a test last night so it is unfortunate that they have tested positive today.
They have done the right thing (other than getting vaccinated Wink) so this was unavoidable really. Even with the vaccine, they could have caught covid and isolation would need to happen. A vaccine would lessen the effects so if they are badly affected OP gets to say 'told you so' Wink

My point was that if they hadn't been testing (which they have) what else have they been doing to put themselves at risk.

OP, it looks like this was an unfortunately timed incident. I'm sorry your plans have been scuppered.

Parents refused the vaccine and now have covid
Thewinterofdiscontent · 05/04/2021 23:48

@MrsElijahMikaelson1

Fruitsaladjelly Mon 05-Apr-21 23:00:55 They decided the vaccine wasn’t for them and that is their choice. They would have become infected either way, if they were vaccinated it might have gone undetected so really it’s just the inconvenience to you that’s the issue. They wouldn’t have become infected either way and it is detectable even if you are vaccinated. Read up before you spread more bullshit
Well with that logic her DP’s parents won’t catch it either will they (assuming they have had the vaccine). So panic over.
Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 05/04/2021 23:51

@Bumpinthenight

From: dfemedia.blog.gov.uk/2021/03/09/back-to-school-week-everything-you-need-to-know/ 'Teaching and non-teaching staff should take twice-weekly... ' The OP has already stated they took a test last night so it is unfortunate that they have tested positive today. They have done the right thing (other than getting vaccinated Wink) so this was unavoidable really. Even with the vaccine, they could have caught covid and isolation would need to happen. A vaccine would lessen the effects so if they are badly affected OP gets to say 'told you so' Wink

My point was that if they hadn't been testing (which they have) what else have they been doing to put themselves at risk.

OP, it looks like this was an unfortunately timed incident. I'm sorry your plans have been scuppered.

It is not mandatory and it is the holidays.
Somethingkindaoooo · 05/04/2021 23:53

I cannot bloody believe everyone saying they are selfish.
What planet are you on?
They work in a school, and as such have been in a high risk job. And they have been doing so for a year- most of that time vaccines weren't available.

And if they were feeling unwell in the afternoon, was that when they already had possession of your daughter?

Overdueanamechange · 06/04/2021 00:01

I hope everyone is okay. It does sound like you are mixing rather a lot, seeing one set of parents one day and another the next. Our family have stayed Covid free as we are still not mixing, despite vaccinations.

saraclara · 06/04/2021 00:06

@Overdueanamechange

I hope everyone is okay. It does sound like you are mixing rather a lot, seeing one set of parents one day and another the next. Our family have stayed Covid free as we are still not mixing, despite vaccinations.
They haven't seen the other set of parents for 6 months! They are (or at least were) doing nothing wrong by meeting them outside for DP's birthday.
Divebar2021 · 06/04/2021 00:10

How frustrating that they work in a school and have turned down vaccinations.... I’m sure there are thousands of teachers not yet eligible who would have gladly had it in their place and been grateful. ( and relieved). I wouldn’t feel any compulsion to respect their decision at all personally - it’s illogical and doesn’t merit any respect to my mind. I hope they are not too badly ill and you still manage to celebrate the birthday. ( do you have the ingredients to knock a cake up yourself? ). Failing that in our area we have Dessert company on Deliveroo who seem to deliver cakes, ice cream & waffles etc so maybe you could order something in. ( it’s not the same I know )

YellowPurple · 06/04/2021 00:10

So parents are unvaccinated and work in a school....
And you see them a day before seeing other older relatives.....

You need to take some responsibility too

We have seen noone.
When we do we will take a test that morning and will not see anyone two weeks either side.

We are being super careful...
Been shielding fully for 13 months now!

Its hell

Derbee · 06/04/2021 00:12

I’d be furious. You should stop using them for childcare, and prioritise your PIL’s to visit etc if they’re vaccinated and your (stupid) parents aren’t

BungleandGeorge · 06/04/2021 00:14

LFTs aren’t mandatory for pupils, is it the same for staff? They are mandatory for health and social care. You’re meant to continue in the holidays.
The childcare was avoidable so you probably shouldn’t have used a childcare bubble but hindsight is a wonderful thing! Unfortunately whenever you make plans this thing is hanging over you that they may not work out, it’s just one of those things. Given your daughter has been inside with 2 positive cases and she’s little so contact would have been close with them and will be close with you, you are all at risk of passing the virus to the PIL. It will be disappointing but can’t be helped, better than giving covid to your FIL for his birthday.

nestlestealswater · 06/04/2021 00:15

I don't understand why you're cross with them. You knew that they are unvaccinated, work in a school and that you are pregnant and seeing elderly people the following day. You knew all of that and decided that it was worth the risk. Your risk didn't pay off. How is this anyone else's fault?

BungleandGeorge · 06/04/2021 00:22

I’d be cross with my parents through worry. Their risk would have been much less had they had the vaccination.

RedcurrantPuff · 06/04/2021 00:32

@nestlestealswater

I don't understand why you're cross with them. You knew that they are unvaccinated, work in a school and that you are pregnant and seeing elderly people the following day. You knew all of that and decided that it was worth the risk. Your risk didn't pay off. How is this anyone else's fault?
This is very true x
MissConductUS · 06/04/2021 00:42

@Fruitsaladjelly

They decided the vaccine wasn’t for them and that is their choice. They would have become infected either way, if they were vaccinated it might have gone undetected so really it’s just the inconvenience to you that’s the issue.
Except that their chances of becoming infected if they had taken the vaccine would have been vastly lower. Their choice put others at much higher risk.
Potpourriandpennysweets · 06/04/2021 00:57

They were irresponsible in not getting the vaccine, op was irresponsible by spending time with them knowing that and their place of work etc. But ultimately we all take calculated risks all the time, and only kick ourselves if it doesn't work out. It's a horrible situation, but get angry at covid not at your loved ones. Your parents may need you in the weeks (or months in the case of long covid) to come.

SophieGiroux · 06/04/2021 01:16

Their choice to get vaccinated. You knew they weren't. They did you a favour by giving you childcare. Not their fault at all plus the fact your daughter shouldn't have been mixing indoors with another household.

Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 04:26

Sorry just catching up. Sleepless night for me...
I completely understand what people are saying. It was a risk we took. We thought we had minimised the risk by all taking LFs regularly and they had broken up from school 10 days before. Childcare isn’t against the rules for moving house and unfortunately it really wasn’t avoidable today. I am in a constant state of anxiety and would just feel so much better had they been vaccinated but couldn’t force them. And as many have said it’s a decision I really struggle to understand.
@BungleandGeorge you are right, I am cross through worry mostly. I can’t be there to help them if they become very unwell. If anything happens I will blame myself for not being more adamant with them.
Hate how this stupid virus is driving families apart.

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Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 04:31

@Divebar2021 thank you for your suggestions I will have a look.
DP is lovely and being very goof about it, but is obviously devastated.

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Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 04:40

good!

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Pixxie7 · 06/04/2021 05:56

I can understand your frustration however they must have had their reasons so it might be worth trying to find out before you condemn them.

Orchidflower1 · 06/04/2021 06:09

Do they look after dd regularly or was this a one off with the move?

Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 06:15

A one off. We usually use nursery (which still isn’t risk-free)

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