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Original poster

Parents refused the vaccine and now have covid

325 replies

ofallthedays · 05/04/2021 22:04

Even worse, they looked after my dd today as we are moving house and this has now meant we can’t see DPs parents tomorrow, on his birthday, for the first time in 6 months.
I am devastated. Worried for them (and me as I am pregnant). But most of all bloody angry and I don’t know if iabu to feel this way. But I can’t help being annoyed they didn’t have the vaccine. They have turned it down twice both from work and the GP.
I don’t even know what to say to PILs at the moment as I am embarrassed at the way my parents have handled the whole pandemic..and it has now cost PILs seeing their grandchild Sad
Not a question really, just wanted to vent. Maybe it’s my fault for letting them look after her? But didn’t feel I could blackmail them to make them have the vaccine. It’s so shit.
Any ideas to help me salvage DPs birthday much appreciated. I don’t even have a cake as MIL was bringing that.

OP posts:
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Helenluvsrob · 05/04/2021 23:00

Only your daughter has to isolate so dp could see his parents in the garden and you and daughter stay strictly in the house and wave through the window ?

Fruitsaladjelly · 05/04/2021 23:00

They decided the vaccine wasn’t for them and that is their choice. They would have become infected either way, if they were vaccinated it might have gone undetected so really it’s just the inconvenience to you that’s the issue.

saraclara · 05/04/2021 23:05

@Fruitsaladjelly

They decided the vaccine wasn’t for them and that is their choice. They would have become infected either way, if they were vaccinated it might have gone undetected so really it’s just the inconvenience to you that’s the issue.
"would have become infected either way"? It's highly unlikely that they'd have been infected if they'd accepted the vaccination. I don't think you understand how it works. Obviously it's not 100% but all the same, no call for your certainty.
MzHz · 05/04/2021 23:05

I’d be absolutely livid! Don’t blame you for being cross

Bumpinthenight · 05/04/2021 23:07

If they work in a school then a LFT should have been carried out on Sunday and Wed.

Not odd that they tested positive today when yesterday and Sunday should have given some sort of indication. My guess is that they didn't do it yesterday so they aren't playing ball with what school staff are supposed to be doing.

What else are they not doing?

Bumpinthenight · 05/04/2021 23:08

Odd. Not 'not odd'!

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 05/04/2021 23:11

I'd be cross with them too but what's done is done.

Honestly I would want to support them, drop off food and paracetamol, call to make sure they are OK. I'd be mainly too worried about whether they were going to be really ill to stay angry for long.

I've had Covid and it really sucks and they may need your support and they might regret their vaccine decision themselves. I would try to say nothing about that although it would be hard.

Dddccc · 05/04/2021 23:11

Sorry but you knew they didn't have the vaccine, you knew they worked in a high at risk jobs and you gave them your child to look after so no if anything you ruined your dh birthday not them, its there choice to get the vaccine or not and it was your choice to send your child to there house

Original poster
ofallthedays · 05/04/2021 23:11

@Bumpinthenight they tested yesterday and they were negative

OP posts:
Wellbythebloodyhell · 05/04/2021 23:13

You knew they were unvaccinated, you knew their occupation, you knew the potential risk involved. If you want to go down the blame route its as much your fault as theirs, own it deal with it, but also factor in being vaccinated is not a 100% guarantee that you can't catch or spread covid.

Reinventinganna · 05/04/2021 23:14

@Wellbythebloodyhell

You knew they were unvaccinated, you knew their occupation, you knew the potential risk involved. If you want to go down the blame route its as much your fault as theirs, own it deal with it, but also factor in being vaccinated is not a 100% guarantee that you can't catch or spread covid.
Agree
Wellbythebloodyhell · 05/04/2021 23:15

For all you know it could have been yourself or your dc that has passed it onto your parents

Hardchoices · 05/04/2021 23:16

You really can’t be annoyed OP. You knew they were unvaccinated and work in a school. You used them for childcare and you are pregnant. Absolute stupidity. Don’t say you had no other childcare option - your child could have stayed with you.

HSHorror · 05/04/2021 23:18

I dont think your dp should go.
I think the t&t distance doesnt make any difference if it is inside or out.
But mainly IF dp carries covid to his parents that could be disastrous for your relationship and your with your parents.

I think the gov misled people about the dangers and so lots of age groups dont think they are at the risk that they are at.
Tbh it's not mainly the dying it's the organ damage

MmeLaraque · 05/04/2021 23:20

@Dddccc

Sorry but you knew they didn't have the vaccine, you knew they worked in a high at risk jobs and you gave them your child to look after so no if anything you ruined your dh birthday not them, its there choice to get the vaccine or not and it was your choice to send your child to there house
Shitty, victim blaming. I have an MIL who behaves like the OP's parents.

"please don't feed x that. They're not supposed to eat that."

"I'll do what I like. I'm not being told what to do."

"They're allergic. please don't"

"I won't see them, then..."

It sounds as though this pair have put a whole load of other people at risk.

firedog · 05/04/2021 23:21

In 2-3-4 weeks it will be a non event. They'll either get really sick or not. And those around them

WerkWerkWerkWerkWerk · 05/04/2021 23:21

To answer your question, I don't think you need to salvage your DP's birthday. They're an adult and will understand, shit happens! (I'd be more constructive if it were your DD's birthday!). Buy them a cheesecake or something and stick a candle in it!
I may be going against the grain here; any interaction you have, whether vaccinated or not, carries a risk, assuming all we have been told is true. It then comes down to, how comfortable are you with that risk. Would you feel differently if they had had the vaccine but still then tested positive and met you that day.
If they are otherwise good, loving grandparents, I'd personally let this go and chalk it up to experience.
I would find the vaccine refusal a bit frustrating, but I would also have to respect their reasons on this.

MmeLaraque · 05/04/2021 23:24

@Helenluvsrob

Only your daughter has to isolate so dp could see his parents in the garden and you and daughter stay strictly in the house and wave through the window ?
If one person in the house has been in contact, everyone in the house is isolating.
Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 05/04/2021 23:26

*If they work in a school then a LFT should have been carried out on Sunday and Wed.

Not odd that they tested positive today when yesterday and Sunday should have given some sort of indication. My guess is that they didn't do it yesterday so they aren't playing ball with what school staff are supposed to be doing.

What else are they not doing?*

It’s the holidays. I don’t blame teachers for pausing on testing at all.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 05/04/2021 23:27

I don’t understand all the “ so cross” comments. You knew there was a risk Op and like them, you chose to take it. They work in school and haven’t been vaccinated - obviously there’s a chance they’ll catch it.

Let’s hope they don’t get seriously ill because that would be completely maddening .I’m sure some people think you’re stupid for getting pregnant in the middle of a pandemic but obviously you also are free to do what you see fit,

Presumably your in laws have had the jab so even if they caught it from their son they will in all likelihood be ok.

Not odd that they tested positive today when yesterday and Sunday should have given some sort of indication. My guess is that they didn't do it yesterday so they aren't playing ball with what school staff are supposed to be doing.
Schools have broken up. It doesn’t really matter if they are a day late or not in the scheme of things.

Sweettea1 · 05/04/2021 23:35

Even if they had have had vaccine you would be in the same position with isolating so can't blame it on them refusing.

babbaloushka · 05/04/2021 23:36

And people wonder why the Government want vaccine passports. How selfish of them, I'd be livid OP.

BungleandGeorge · 05/04/2021 23:37

If one person in the house has been in contact, everyone in the house is isolating.

This isn’t correct. However if you saw them yesterday for 45 minutes, even if outdoors you will be counted as contacts too.

Dddccc · 05/04/2021 23:38

@Mmelaraque how is that victim blaming the op knew all the risks and still took them and it now pissed that the risk failed sorry but I was pointing out facts also the fact we are still really in a lockdown and should not be mixing household indoors so if the op should be angry at anyone its herself not parents

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 05/04/2021 23:38

Fruitsaladjelly Mon 05-Apr-21 23:00:55
They decided the vaccine wasn’t for them and that is their choice. They would have become infected either way, if they were vaccinated it might have gone undetected so really it’s just the inconvenience to you that’s the issue.
They wouldn’t have become infected either way and it is detectable even if you are vaccinated.
Read up before you spread more bullshit

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