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Original poster

Parents refused the vaccine and now have covid

325 replies

ofallthedays · 05/04/2021 22:04

Even worse, they looked after my dd today as we are moving house and this has now meant we can’t see DPs parents tomorrow, on his birthday, for the first time in 6 months.
I am devastated. Worried for them (and me as I am pregnant). But most of all bloody angry and I don’t know if iabu to feel this way. But I can’t help being annoyed they didn’t have the vaccine. They have turned it down twice both from work and the GP.
I don’t even know what to say to PILs at the moment as I am embarrassed at the way my parents have handled the whole pandemic..and it has now cost PILs seeing their grandchild Sad
Not a question really, just wanted to vent. Maybe it’s my fault for letting them look after her? But didn’t feel I could blackmail them to make them have the vaccine. It’s so shit.
Any ideas to help me salvage DPs birthday much appreciated. I don’t even have a cake as MIL was bringing that.

OP posts:
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5
CatsHairEverywhere2 · 06/04/2021 14:29

@Rukaya and do you also do the same to people that you know haven’t received their childhood immunisations? They didn’t have a choice in the matter. Are you going to do the same to people who can’t be vaccinated for medical or religious reasons? If you’re vaccinated yourself, then why? What are you scared of? What are you so angry about?

ancientgran · 06/04/2021 14:30

[quote pam290358]@ancientgran. Oneyeopen had her figures right - 18.1 million people vaccinated with the AZ vaccine in the UK as of 24 March. 30 people had had blood clots, of which 7 died. In the last few days the MHRA was looking at restricting the AZ vaccine to the over 60s. You have to weigh the risks with the benefits - the older you are, the higher the risks of Covid and the less risk associated with the vaccine - therefore vaccination is preferable. With the lower age groups the risk associated with Covid are less, therefore the risks to benefits equation is a bit more complicated. MHRA are saying that the data on the risk being related to whether you’re male or female are very weak and need more investigation.[/quote]
I never disputed 18.1 million had had the AZ vaccine. My point was if the at risk group is under 30s and more specifically women under 30 then it won't be anywhere near 18.1 million so not reasonable to us the 30 in 18.1 million argument.

MHRA might be saying the data relating to male/female is weak but up to now they've said no risk.

As I've said I've had it, my husband and 3 of my kids have also had it. I'm pro vaccine but I respect other people's right to question it.

nestlestealswater · 06/04/2021 14:34

@pam290358

Of course you can’t force people to be vaccinated, but I don’t see any reason why life should not be made a little more difficult for those people selfish enough to rely on others to keep them safe. For example foreign holidays should be off the menu - for two reasons: One, you may spread Covid to other innocents abroad and Two, if you can’t be trusted to vaccinate to protect yourself and others, you definitely can’t be trusted to take precautions to avoid spreading Covid when you come home.
You shouldn't be able to leave the country without submitting to medical procedures Confused that sets a great precedent doesn't it?
Rukaya · 06/04/2021 14:36

nd do you also do the same to people that you know haven’t received their childhood immunisations? They didn’t have a choice in the matter. Are you going to do the same to people who can’t be vaccinated for medical or religious reasons? If you’re vaccinated yourself, then why? What are you scared of? What are you so angry about?

I'm neither scared or angry, and you desire to call me so is just rudeness. It doesn't help you. Get a grip and get vaccinated.

I've no time for people who are able to be vaccinated and won't be, they are selfish fools I don't wish to spend time with. It's really that simple. The people I like to be around have sense and are good people.

Rukaya · 06/04/2021 14:37

You shouldn't be able to leave the country without submitting to medical procedures confused that sets a great precedent doesn't it

There are many countries you can't visit without various vaccines, its not a new idea.

G5000 · 06/04/2021 14:39

You shouldn't be able to leave the country without submitting to medical procedures

Yeah i don't agree with that either. But of course any foreign country can require vaccinations and does not have to let any tourists in, if they don't have the required ones. You know, just like it has worked for many years en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaccination_requirements_for_international_travel

nestlestealswater · 06/04/2021 14:41

Yes for entering a country, not for leaving a country!

NRCS · 06/04/2021 14:41

I know you know this but your parents are irresponsible and foolish. Lot of it about unfortunately.

ancientgran · 06/04/2021 14:47

@NRCS

I know you know this but your parents are irresponsible and foolish. Lot of it about unfortunately.
How about the OP? Was she irresponsible visiting her parents knowing they weren't vaccinated, leaving her child with them? She decided to do that, she hasn't said her parents forced her to.
Brefugee · 06/04/2021 14:49

How about the OP? Was she irresponsible visiting her parents knowing they weren't vaccinated, leaving her child with them? She decided to do that, she hasn't said her parents forced her to.

yep. It was a risk. It's blown up.

but still

OP how are your parents? It may be too soon but has this changed their minds about the vaccine?

Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 15:31

@Brefugee in bed with headaches at the moment, thanks for asking.
Re changing their mind, I doubt it and can barely bring myself to talk to them at the moment because I just don’t understand. I mentioned the vaccine and DM’s response was “vaccine doesn’t stop you getting COVID l, just stops you from going to hospital”. I put the phone down.
I mean what sort of answer is that?
These are supposed to be intelligent people. I am embarrassed.

OP posts:
Rukaya · 06/04/2021 15:33

Yes for entering a country, not for leaving a country!

For getting on a plane to leave one country, in order to enter another. It's the same thing!

XiCi · 06/04/2021 15:42

I can't believe the cheek of you really. You asked your parents to look after your dd knowing they weren't vaccinated. You needed them, not the other way round. Happy to use them as free childcare during their holidays until they find they are ill. Now you're saying you won't use them to look after their grandchild again. Why? Just to punish them? Because they've had covid now and will have antibodies so less of a risk to you than someone vaccinated. You also seem to be more worried that your DH can't have a piece of bloody cake or see his mum for the day than the health of your parents. They are only 50s so will likely be absolutely fine. DH and I (both 50s) had Covid last month. He had no symptoms whatsoever and I just felt tired for a couple of days. Fingers crossed they will be the same.

Glintwithpersperation · 06/04/2021 15:43

Your parents sound really selfish @ofallthedays.
You can’t feel bad about their choices, if they choose to listen to poorly informed and ignorant people, it’s not your job to control them. It sounds like you have done your best.
How stressful when you are moving at the same time. I really hope that you are ok, you need to look after yourself and keep monitoring.

CatsHairEverywhere2 · 06/04/2021 15:43

@Rukaya why are they selfish and foolish? If you’ve received the vaccine they’re not a danger to you any more than a vaccinated person it. You are coming across as scared and angry, which is why I questioned it, and given I have ASD it does help me greatly to understand how people are feeling and why they feel that way, though you of course weren’t to know that. As for my vaccination status, I’m not yet eligible being both under 30, not on the front line of Covid nor experiencing any health issues that would meet the criteria, though my posting history will confirm that I do believe in vaccination and plan on getting it myself when it’s offered. I don’t however agree with forcing people to be vaccinated nor understand people that are coming across as terrified of those that are unvaccinated. It’s the only reason I can see for demanding people get it done or you’ll forever cut them out of your life, which is abusive and manipulative to do - “do as I say or else” always is when it’s not related to children misbehaving.

Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 15:58

@XiCi because I am not tolerating their selfish attitude anymore for the sake of myself and my family. This has really compounded the anger I have had for months. If you think that’s cheeky of me then fine.
Also hate the term ‘free childcare’ as if money had any relevance to this. It didn’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 16:02

Also, shoot me for caring about the feelings of my DP and PILs. But no that isn’t more important and if you’ve read the thread I have said that.

OP posts:
XiCi · 06/04/2021 16:13

@XiCibecause I am not tolerating their selfish attitude anymore for the sake of myself and my family
But you knew they weren't vaccinated before you asked them to look after dd. You took that risk. You asked them to look after her. You were happy to take that risk when you needed help, it hasn't paid off and now they can't look after their grandchild again? Crazy.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/04/2021 16:25

[quote XiCi]**@XiCibecause I am not tolerating their selfish attitude anymore for the sake of myself and my family
But you knew they weren't vaccinated before you asked them to look after dd. You took that risk. You asked them to look after her. You were happy to take that risk when you needed help, it hasn't paid off and now they can't look after their grandchild again? Crazy.[/quote]
I don’t get why they are selfish, you are free to make choices for your family and they can make their own as adults. I’m pro vaccine but others can and do feel differently.
You wanted the free childcare or presumably would have used nursery like usual .
What happens if they get cases in nursery, will you never use them again and take the same stance?

Original poster
ofallthedays · 06/04/2021 16:35

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss it was a bank holiday

OP posts:
nestlestealswater · 06/04/2021 16:40

Yeah they've got such a selfish attitude, looking after your child for you to help you out on a bank holiday.

Maybe you can ask your inlaws to do the childcare next time.

Frustratedbeyondbelief · 06/04/2021 16:46

I despair of the lack of brain power amongst a large proportion of the MN population.

The vaccine reduces deaths IN ALL AGE GROUPS

The vaccine reduces transmission IN ALL AGE GROUPS .

Even if that 'reduction' were only 10% why would you not take it ? Even if a blood clot link is established. ?

You are still 35 x LESS LIKELY TO DIE of a blood clot than Covid.

Fucking hell . People really need to wobble their heads - or is something else going on. ? Do they not want life to change from the current set up.

Sansaplans · 06/04/2021 16:53

[quote ofallthedays]@Brefugee in bed with headaches at the moment, thanks for asking.
Re changing their mind, I doubt it and can barely bring myself to talk to them at the moment because I just don’t understand. I mentioned the vaccine and DM’s response was “vaccine doesn’t stop you getting COVID l, just stops you from going to hospital”. I put the phone down.
I mean what sort of answer is that?
These are supposed to be intelligent people. I am embarrassed.[/quote]
They are technically correct, the main plus is that it prevents being extremely poorly from it, not catching it. I don't know why you keep speaking about your parents like they are stupid children, they are adults who can make their own decisions. If you don't agree and want to prevent your family being around them then that's fine, and be honest about why you are doing that. But no need to berate them for their choice, it's so condescending.

longtimemarried · 06/04/2021 17:05

ofallthedays - I do hope your parents make a speedy recovery, the situation must be very worrying for you. I wish they could have seen my son when he had covid, he was so very ill for so many months, but thankfully survived. The worry and the stress was unbelieveable. I know this may sound selfish, but I do hope your parents are not teachers at my granddaughter's school. I wish you well ofallthedays.

Scottishskifun · 06/04/2021 17:05

Depending on how ill they get OP you might find they change their minds given that it's unclear how long natural immunity will last.

For me I was initially going to put off vaccination due to TTC but I've been so ill I don't ever want to go through this again it was terrifying at parts so now I'm definitely getting vaccinated!