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I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

401 replies

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 15:52

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

OP posts:
LucyLastik · 01/04/2021 15:55

I feel you. Currently contemplating travelling from London to the Isle of Wight to see my parents by train (can't drive).

denverRegina · 01/04/2021 15:59

"or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne."

We can meet other people now, that is soon to be extended to indoors and then eventually abroad.

You saw your parents in July even though you live abroad, that's not bad in the grand scheme of things.

You also legally have been able to have a bubble. That's something isn't it?

NoKnit · 01/04/2021 15:59

I know, it's shit and believe me I hear you.

I live abroad and not seen my family since Xmas holidays 2019 either. You moan away all you want. Mine are older 5 and 7 so it's different problems but same shitty covid.

emmathedilemma · 01/04/2021 16:02

A bubble is one but thing (I've got one as a single adult household) but no offence to my friend, but this has been going on so long that we're running out of things to talk about and there's nothing but walks to do!!

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 16:04

@denverRegina

"or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne."

We can meet other people now, that is soon to be extended to indoors and then eventually abroad.

You saw your parents in July even though you live abroad, that's not bad in the grand scheme of things.

You also legally have been able to have a bubble. That's something isn't it?

It's something compared to the first lockdown. That's not setting the bar particularly high though, is it? Compared to normal life it's absolutely shite. And there's no guarantee that the roadmap for unlocking will actually happen, especially with all these vaccine hesitant twats. I was just having a rant, but thanks for the "cheer up"/ "it could be worse" put down. I guess you missed the bit about my family being abroad and not having met my baby yet?
OP posts:
Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 16:05

Oh and no one to have a bubble with I'm afraid

OP posts:
Lastbonestanding · 01/04/2021 16:07

Nothing selfish about your complaint. It's a valid concern. How long are we going to shut children up for?

MonsterMash2210 · 01/04/2021 16:07

I completely agree with you. I am really struggling to find it in me to continue with all this.

I want to do the ‘right’ thing but it all seems rather pointless and as time goes on I am starting to believe in the ‘right’ thing less and less.

The only reason I am following the ‘rules’ is because I am a rule follower. Not because I believe in them.

It’s rubbish and my repressed rebellious side is furious.

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 16:09

@MonsterMash2210 Are you me? I've decided people can cuddle my baby, I just do not care anymore. The risks are so low.

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Racoonworld · 01/04/2021 16:18

Yes I agree. My baby is 9 months old now and hardly anyone has met her. I’ve had enough now, we’ve been seeing family the last month and I’m letting people hold her. The risks to development and making bonds is far worse than the risk of covid for her. Having a baby in lockdown is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m done with it now.

AcornAutumn · 01/04/2021 16:18

[quote Notthissticky]@MonsterMash2210 Are you me? I've decided people can cuddle my baby, I just do not care anymore. The risks are so low.[/quote]
Oh I want to cuddle your baby!

I've been anti lockdown from the start. Nothing selfish in what you say.

frozendaisy · 01/04/2021 16:20

Nobody signed up to this.

Hopefully longest, hardest lockdown over.

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 16:21

@acornautumn You're very welcome to! We're in the MidlandsSmile

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 01/04/2021 16:22

[quote Notthissticky]@acornautumn You're very welcome to! We're in the MidlandsSmile[/quote]
I'm in north London ...

NoKnit · 01/04/2021 16:22

I know. We live surrounded by forest my kids are fed up of walks and bike rides in the forest and running out of ideas

Goleor · 01/04/2021 16:23

Covid has derailed my life massively. Constant furlough and my job loss has put us in debt , derailed our plans hugely , taken every coping mechanism I possess away from me . I'm neurodiverse and cev and this all been a massive massive nightmare. I'm pregant now and weve decided to move in with my partners parents so that they can be our bubble should we end up back in lockdown again.

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 16:24

@Racoonworld

Yes I agree. My baby is 9 months old now and hardly anyone has met her. I’ve had enough now, we’ve been seeing family the last month and I’m letting people hold her. The risks to development and making bonds is far worse than the risk of covid for her. Having a baby in lockdown is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m done with it now.
Hugs to you. The bit that did it for me was my normally unflappable dad telling me he was struggling with my emotional phone calls because he can't do anything to help (due to being in another country) Sad
OP posts:
MonsterMash2210 · 01/04/2021 16:25

My daughter is a year old and I really regret not letting her really meet people or the ones we did see not letting them hold her.

She is now terrified of everyone because she has hardly seen anyone.

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 16:26

@frozendaisy

Nobody signed up to this.

Hopefully longest, hardest lockdown over.

You're right, of course they didn't. Poor choice of words on my part!
OP posts:
toolazytothinkofausername · 01/04/2021 16:28

YANBU. This covid isolating from our families is horrible :(

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 16:28

@MonsterMash2210 please be kind to yourself. AFAIK it's not unusual for children that age to have separation anxiety. It's not necessarily due to COVID nor will it affect her permanently.

OP posts:
Schmoozer · 01/04/2021 16:30

It is pants ...
I guess u haven’t had people close affected by
Covid because of the lockdown and measures ....
Hang on in there, we are on the road out of all this ... as opposed to other countries sadly

Poppins2016 · 01/04/2021 16:33

Rant away! You're right, this situation is unfair and it's taking a toll on many, many people. There will be a high price to pay for the restrictions, both in terms of recovering the economy and in terms of recovering the physical and mental health of those who have been neglected throughout the pandemic.

My DS and I are currently isolating and waiting for covid test results over what I believe is just a heavy cold (but with covid symptom overlap). This is test number 4 for my DS and he's never tested positive but we've had to do it in order for him to attend nursery/for us to get out of the house... we're both asthmatic so even a slight sniffle of a cold often causes a cough. I'm so tired of the disruption and feel worn down.

This morning I read an article reporting a study that found "Fewer than a quarter of people in the UK with Covid symptoms are requesting a test, while only half say they are fully self-isolating after symptoms develop"
My first feeling was empathy and understanding, I can see there are so many reasons why people might not test and isolate properly... Followed by feelings of frustration and anger that non compliant people are prolonging the agony for those of us who are compliant due to 'the greater good' and wanting to get the pandemic over ASAP!

SplendidSuns1000 · 01/04/2021 16:37

I'm thankfully not in a tough situation like you, it's only me and DH and we're coping well but I miss being able to hug people and babies and when someone has good news I want to be able to pop round with cake and champagne and celebrate- not just send a 'woo!' message and not speak to them for 4 more weeks.

I can't imagine trying to raise a child/ren in this situation. I babysit my niece and nephew and they don't remember most of their family or friends from their childcare groups. Such a sad situation for babies and children to only interact with less than 5 other people for months on end.

MonsterMash2210 · 01/04/2021 16:37

Thanks. I do have an older son and he went through separation anxiety as well. However, at least there were some people outside the household he was comfortable with as he was used to people.

Plus, even with people he was originally a bit scared off he would come around in time.

My daughter just screams the whole time she sees anyone else. She is not used to people at all.