I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

[Notthissticky]

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

@MmeLaraque Could say that about anything couldn't you. Bad things happen to people all the time, other things do exist other than COVID.

When I had my miscarriage, people saying oh but at least you CAN get pregnant did not put anything in perspective for me or make me feel any better, it made me want to tear their head off, so do spare me the bullshit.

@MmeLaraque

Another anti-lockdown thread? Marvellous. I just finished reading Michael Rosen's book. The one he wrote after he spent part of last year in a coma because of Covid.

Some interesting stuff in there. Including the parts about people complaining about lockdown.

I do know people who've had this. I also knew people who've died because of covid.

Life is unlikely to return to what most of you would consider "normal" for a long time. I'm wondering what part of "mutating respiratory virus" so many people are struggling to understand.

I'd recommend the Rosen book. It might just give some of you some perspective. Including the part where his GP neighbour returned from his house, and wanted to hug her daughter, but had to shower and change first, because she'd sent him to A&E because he was so low on oxygen.

Just because you don't know anyone who's had it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Another 43 people have died of this today. Or at least, within 28 days of a positive test. That doesn't include those who've died *after 28 days. Or those who are struggling to fill their lungs to breathe in the first place.

@Whatafool123

Although when I stop and think, the fact it is ILLEGAL to leave this country and we don't know how long that will last is really quite incredible. So much has changed in such a short time.

France is in lockdown again, and other countries are essential travel only. Countries are trying to prevent this from getting in, so they're not letting anyone in without quarantine.

I suggest you re-read my post, in particular the bits where I say I am not against lockdown and that I realise I am really fortunate. I find it almost offensive that you conclude that I think COVID doesn't exist. I am not going to engage with the rest of your post as it does not relate to mine at all.

I’m a bit fed up of the needs of babies and toddlers being dismissed to be honest.

The first years are absolutely vital.

The covid situation has changed, people are protected, there’s no need for lockdown anymore.

Lots of people are protected, the situation is changing, cases, hospitalisations and deaths are all coming down, which is why we are gradually coming out of lockdown - this is good.

I feel you. I have a three month old & we have had two days help total with him since he was born. It’s relentless.

Before anyone mentions a bubble, my parents are 300 miles away & my dad is vulnerable. DH’a family are Australian and it breaks my heart that they might not meet DS this year. I want them to see what a brilliant Dad DH is.

I’ve seen my parents twice since I found out I was pregnant - once in August to meet my nephew and once for them to meet DS.

DH couldn’t see his first child’s scans, although he was allowed in for my labour but I’m angry that I justify that with “at least he was allowed in”.

My first pregnancy, maternity leave and experience of being a first time mother is just not what I expected.

My parents aren’t able to freely see their grandchild. I haven’t been able to see my sister become a mum, and have cuddles with my nephew. My DS cries at other people because he isn’t used to other faces that aren’t ours.

Worst of all, a close relative might not be able to see his dying mum abroad.

I’m now just doing what I can to protect myself and my family - both physically but most importantly, mentally and emotionally. If that means seeing neighbours so that DS gets cuddles from people that aren’t us, then so be it.

This. So many people seem to think that because they've been lucky so far, and don't know anyone who's died of/suffered with CV, that's it.

People die, it's a way of life.

A colleagues grandma died 6 years ago due to having the flu. She was 72. Never came out of hospital. Should we have cut off the lives of all age groups to save a minority?
If so, why havent people been stinking up a fuss for years when people are dying from the flu?

I think we should rip alcohol off the shelves to stop alcogol related diseases and strain on the NHS, and save millions.

Theres no logic or common sense any more.

I hear you OP and I think a lot of people feel as you do. We'll all in different situations, depending on age, location, finances, health, etc, but it's shit for everyone - different shit, but still shit and you're entitled to feel utterly fed up.

I completely feel for you. It might be more shit for some people than others but it’s some shade of shit for everyone. Our granddaughter is five months old and we met her briefly once just before the November lockdown. I can’t wait to see her again.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Nobody signed up for it. Many have lost loved ones, are suffering with ill health, lost jobs etc.

Babies not being able to go to clubs or go for cuddles isn’t the end of the world. Plenty chose and are still choosing to have children in a pandemic so obviously know the downsides.

Just because other people have it worse doesn't mean it's not crap for me though, does it? I even acknowledge in my OP that I'm fortunate. Other people being worse off does not make me feel better (I wouldn't be a very nice person if it did). I know my baby will be fine without the groups, that was just an example. He was conceived in May last year, so during COVID. I don't think anyone could have predicted at that point that things would be worse by the time he was born. But yeah, I'll just shut up because I chose to be in this situation

Babies do need cuddles anyway.

It is the end of the world for them.

@daffodilsandprimroses

I’m a bit fed up of the needs of babies and toddlers being dismissed to be honest.

The first years are absolutely vital.

Children's well being in general gets dismissed on here to be honest quite shocking that it's on a group called MUMSnet . Adults have decades of life to catch up on things they might have missed in a couple of years, children unfortunately don't have that luxury of being able to pause their childhood and go back and live it again

There is a general attitude that kids will be fine.

I got that up to a point in the first lockdown. It was not as long as this one and in nicer weather.

This one has been beyond horrific.

Ahhhhh, I feel you. For me, this is the anthem for our times:

💗

@Feedingthebirds1

the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID

But there's a good chance that's because we've had lockdowns, however shitty. Unfettered freedom might have made that number much bigger.
(And I loathe lockdown, I'm sick of it, but on balance I think we needed it.)

And that's why I said I'm not against lockdown I was just saying that for me personally, it fortunately all seems to be quite far removed still. That's not to suggest for a minute the risks aren't real.

I literally have not followed a single rule since the beginning. Neither have any one of my neighbours. I live on a green in the middle of a massive estate, right now I can count around 28 kidskin there, 3 are my own. There’s also 4 adult neighbours out chatting with them. It’s been like that here since the first lockdown. I’m so relieved I haven’t spent this last year isolating. As far as I’m concerned it’s on yourself to keep yourself safe. If you have underlying conditions or you’re at risk then stay at home. The only time we’ve had trouble with the police was when a neighbour (kind of the matriarch of the estate) passed away due to a heart attack. There was a massive party on the green to send her off. All the police did was turn up twice to remind us to ‘be sensible’ and left us to it

Just stop doing it then. Honestly, if all adults agree to meet up, hug, whatever, then do it. Fuck this. It's ridiculous now.

@Insomnia5

I literally have not followed a single rule since the beginning. Neither have any one of my neighbours. I live on a green in the middle of a massive estate, right now I can count around 28 kidskin there, 3 are my own. There’s also 4 adult neighbours out chatting with them. It’s been like that here since the first lockdown. I’m so relieved I haven’t spent this last year isolating. As far as I’m concerned it’s on yourself to keep yourself safe. If you have underlying conditions or you’re at risk then stay at home. The only time we’ve had trouble with the police was when a neighbour (kind of the matriarch of the estate) passed away due to a heart attack. There was a massive party on the green to send her off. All the police did was turn up twice to remind us to ‘be sensible’ and left us to it

I agree!

You have my sympathies OP. I struggled so much when my children were small, the relentless work and sheer tedium, that without social contact and activities to break up the day, I think I would have lost my reason.
My sincere respect to anyone in your position who is coping with this awful situation.
And yes, its beyond time it was over.

Do you have babies? Small children? They have a YEAR with no soft plays, groups, social interaction, cancelled birthday parties and the rest. Do you have any idea the damaging effects it has on young children and their mothers?
They are children being born who havent seen any grandparents, they think face masks are normal and will have social anxiety when things open back up again! This is an unnatural way to live!

@MrsHastingslikethebattle which is, I imagine, why the poster you quoted was talking about people choosing to have a baby during the pandemic - i.e. conceived during it.

People die, it's a way of life.

Two of the people I know who have died of COVID had young families and their children will grow up barely remembering their parent. Both were healthcare providers, otherwise healthy with no underlying conditions. It's a shit situation all round.

@MmeLaraque

Another anti-lockdown thread? Marvellous. I just finished reading Michael Rosen's book. The one he wrote after he spent part of last year in a coma because of Covid.

Some interesting stuff in there. Including the parts about people complaining about lockdown.

I do know people who've had this. I also knew people who've died because of covid.

Life is unlikely to return to what most of you would consider "normal" for a long time. I'm wondering what part of "mutating respiratory virus" so many people are struggling to understand.

I'd recommend the Rosen book. It might just give some of you some perspective. Including the part where his GP neighbour returned from his house, and wanted to hug her daughter, but had to shower and change first, because she'd sent him to A&E because he was so low on oxygen.

Just because you don't know anyone who's had it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Another 43 people have died of this today. Or at least, within 28 days of a positive test. That doesn't include those who've died *after 28 days. Or those who are struggling to fill their lungs to breathe in the first place.

@Whatafool123

Although when I stop and think, the fact it is ILLEGAL to leave this country and we don't know how long that will last is really quite incredible. So much has changed in such a short time.

France is in lockdown again, and other countries are essential travel only. Countries are trying to prevent this from getting in, so they're not letting anyone in without quarantine.

I believe you need to re-read this thread as you've totally missed the point. The thread isn't anti-lockdown or covid-denying. It's simply acknowledging how living with the restrictions is taking a toll on people, even though doing so is acknowledged to be necessary...

@MmeLaraque

Another anti-lockdown thread? Marvellous. I just finished reading Michael Rosen's book. The one he wrote after he spent part of last year in a coma because of Covid.

Some interesting stuff in there. Including the parts about people complaining about lockdown.

I do know people who've had this. I also knew people who've died because of covid.

Life is unlikely to return to what most of you would consider "normal" for a long time. I'm wondering what part of "mutating respiratory virus" so many people are struggling to understand.

I'd recommend the Rosen book. It might just give some of you some perspective. Including the part where his GP neighbour returned from his house, and wanted to hug her daughter, but had to shower and change first, because she'd sent him to A&E because he was so low on oxygen.

Just because you don't know anyone who's had it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Another 43 people have died of this today. Or at least, within 28 days of a positive test. That doesn't include those who've died *after 28 days. Or those who are struggling to fill their lungs to breathe in the first place.

@Whatafool123

Although when I stop and think, the fact it is ILLEGAL to leave this country and we don't know how long that will last is really quite incredible. So much has changed in such a short time.

France is in lockdown again, and other countries are essential travel only. Countries are trying to prevent this from getting in, so they're not letting anyone in without quarantine.

You know.

Thank for making me feel even more rubbish than before.
It will be like this for many years after, can’t travel blabla...

Yep that’s going to help me and anyone on this thread who is struggling with not seeing family because it’s ILLEGAL to travel. Nit because they want to protect them/ant be bothered/are frightened or whatever.

FWIW, I’m nit anti lockdown, not is the OP.
But if we were, your rant and book advice didn’t work and would be more likely convince me even more it’s a bad idea.
You’ll have to find better argument to convince someone that lockdowns are great than ‘it’s our new normal anyway’ and ‘other people have it worse so stop moaning’.

@Rukaya

the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally

Would have cost you more emotionally if your parents were dead of it, which is what other people are dealing with.

Yes, I know other people have it worse. That is why I acknowledge in my OP that I am fortunate. Pointing out that others have it worse does not make me feel better. My situation is crap and other people have lost loved ones: both can be true at the same time, there isn't a limit to the crap to go around (if only there was!)

As far as I’m concerned it’s on yourself to keep yourself safe. If you have underlying conditions or you’re at risk then stay at home.

Well yes, and 10 year old ds has spent the whole year shielding at home, but his sister's have had to go to school when it's open, dh has had to go to work....I've had to give up my job, and ds has to go back to school (unvaccinated) after Easter.

I know that it doesn't really matter to anyone else, but I do hate it when I see people say, ' I'm not following the rules...it's up to individuals to keep themselves safe', when it is utterly impossible for individuals to keep themselves safe whilst people break the rules!!

This might give you some encouragement, op; it shows how things are improving and they will continue to improve:

www.theguardian.com/world/2021/apr/01/what-is-now-allowed-under-covid-rules-breakdown-across-uk

None of us signed up for this btw :-). I never dreamed we'd still be locked down (up to a point), after a year but it is what it is as they say. There will be better times ahead.