I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

[Notthissticky]

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

[quote SofiaMichelle]@MrsHastingslikethebattle of course not.

But it's a bit rich making a decision during an unprecedented situation and then ranting that the result of the decision and the ongoing situation isn't to your liking.[/quote]
Find me one person who predicted the situation 10 months after the first lockdown would be worse than in May last year. At the time, people predicting a second wave were still very much seen as harbingers of doom. I'm almost 36, what if I'd waited until this was over and then found out it was too late? People like you would be the first to say it was my choice to wait so to stop moaning

@MrsHastingslikethebattle
I was responding to someone who said they had not followed the rules since the beginning....but then said it was an individual's responsibility to keep safe. It's a public health crisis, which is why it's everyone's responsibility to try to do the right thing.

@Notthissticky I feel you! I have been on mat leave nearly a year. There were no newborn cuddles with family. In fact, DH’s family have met my 11 month old twins once. No support from anyone in the way we are told to ask (ask people to help with xyz when they come round to see baby etc) because it’s been illegal for people to come into our house. A couple of baby groups where we sat alone on mats in masks, not allowed to chat to other mums. I feel robbed of the year we expected. I hope you will get some of the experiences we missed as things open up in the next few months.

@lynsey91

You chose to get pregnant during lockdown. If you didn't have the sense to even think for one minute that this would go on for ages more fool you.

I honestly cannot believe anyone with a brain would get pregnant while all this is going on with no idea when it will end.

Some people don't have time on their side when it comes to their fertility. They should have have forgone having kids because of a virus that well over 90% of people who get it survive?

The crazy has well and truly taken over, OP. Don't stick your hand in it. Start living as you see fit.

It is total nonsense and mission creep. tThose most at risk of overwhelming the NHS have been vaccinated. There is longer a mandate for masks or ‘social distancing’ except the gvt have lost the plot and keep trying to keep the fear going in the gormless by trotting out ‘mutant variant alert!’ which the gormless then mutter line a mantra and act hysterically at any prospect of normality.
A colleague who has no life outside work has loved the fact that everyone else now also has no social life like her and clearly wants this to continue forever.

I really feel for anyone who had a baby in lockdown, was alone or isolated etc -so so hard.

@lynsey91

You chose to get pregnant during lockdown. If you didn't have the sense to even think for one minute that this would go on for ages more fool you.

I honestly cannot believe anyone with a brain would get pregnant while all this is going on with no idea when it will end.

Lucky you, being able to see so clearly into the future. Lesser mortals like me and DH looked at what the government and scientists were saying and considered our own circumstances and made an informed decision based on that. As mentioned, find me one person who could've predicted in May last year that this would be worse now than it was then. So kindly FO on your smug high horse.

[quote HazeyJaneII]@MrsHastingslikethebattle
I was responding to someone who said they had not followed the rules since the beginning....but then said it was an individual's responsibility to keep safe. It's a public health crisis, which is why it's everyone's responsibility to try to do the right thing.[/quote]
Nah, I've had enough. I'm not sacrificing my mental health and well being for a virus well over 90% of people survive. My father did not before you come out with guilt tripping bollocks like 'Tell that to the families of loved ones'.

I would like to see anyone cope with a brand new baby in a dark, freezing winter in lockdown and emerge with their MH intact!

There have been no baby groups to break up the day, no swimming to tire baby out, no walks or coffees with other new mums. No HV visits. No going to libraries or museums or shops. Endless endless walks in the park in the wet and cold and dark.

You are not selfish or ranty OP. Just a normal mum and human being

Speaks volumes about mumsnet that you even felt you had to apologise in the thread title. Hopefully the covid police are busily enforcing Newspeak and opinion compliance on other threads and will leave this one alone.

Whether your kids are babies or primary age or teens, it's absolutely heartbreaking what this is doing to them. I have no solutions or suggestions, just lots of solidarity and rage at the incompetence and lies that put us all in this situation.

@QuidditchQueen

It is total nonsense and mission creep. tThose most at risk of overwhelming the NHS have been vaccinated. There is longer a mandate for masks or ‘social distancing’ except the gvt have lost the plot and keep trying to keep the fear going in the gormless by trotting out ‘mutant variant alert!’ which the gormless then mutter line a mantra and act hysterically at any prospect of normality. A colleague who has no life outside work has loved the fact that everyone else now also has no social life like her and clearly wants this to continue forever.

Yep. The real pandemic is a misery merchant sweepstakes with race to the bottom a close second.

@Rukaya

the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally

Would have cost you more emotionally if your parents were dead of it, which is what other people are dealing with.

Both my parents died last year..one from Covid, one from cancer 7 months later. Do I feel upset that OP is feeling the way she is? No I don't. Frankly I'm beginning to find the whole "emotional top trumps" mindset of many on, not just this thread but others, to be offensive. Yes we have been through hell but so have other, it's just their hell is different not less. My grief is mine, not yours to use for scoring points.

*other people

Ok, I'm out.

OP, I completely agree. I’ve mostly supported lockdowns and the restrictions and now I’m done. I need to get out and do normal things.

Everyone who is at risk has now been offered a vaccine. It’s time to get back to real life.

Both my parents died last year..one from Covid, one from cancer 7 months later. Do I feel upset that OP is feeling the way she is? No I don't. Frankly I'm beginning to find the whole "emotional top trumps" mindset of many on, not just this thread but others, to be offensive. Yes we have been through hell but so have other, it's just their hell is different not less. My grief is mine, not yours to use for scoring points.

BRAVO! I agree completely. My father died of Covid last year.

100% agree and feel free to rant, others might have had it worse but that’s mean you don’t have a rubbish situation also. It’s shit and there have been various studies showing mental health and especially of new mums have really suffered.

I have really suffered and currently having counselling which has really helped, I would definitely recommend.

An expat had a go on a different thread saying it was my choice not to see family even though I was pregnant shielding then couldnt stay over at a house and we live 4 hours away so an 8 hour round trip with a new born when they can’t be in a car seat longer than 30mins was crazy and yet I was made to feel shit because I chose not to visit them on Christmas Day. Honestly I chose to think they are frustrated at the situation rather than being so cruel to an individual.

Definitely try to get out for a daily walk and start booking into the baby classes to have something to look forward too. You have got this mummy!

I too feel very resentful. I think the chances of getting it, at all, or badly are slim to none. I know no one who has had it.

I've now been fully vaccinated, both doses. Im pleased about that.
I'm so glad I can now see my 2 friends in her garden. And Ds2 is at a 6 person birthday party now, in a garden. So it finally feels like restrictions are lifting.

@Notthissticky you have got this, you are a good mum, your children love you and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s ok to have diner day, watch lots of telly and eat snacks in bed

We're having my fully vaccinated parents in law and Dad round on Sunday for lunch. Inside. This can all just fuck off now.

Sorry to hear what you’ve been through @laughinggasssing and I hope you enjoy your lunch.

They should have have forgone having kids because of a virus that well over 90% of people who get it survive?

@diwrnachoflleyn It’s actually between 99% and 99.5%.

fullfact.org/online/covid-19-survival-rate-less-998/

As mentioned, find me one person who could've predicted in May last year that this would be worse now than it was then. So kindly FO on your smug high horse

I know this isn’t what the thread is primarily about but honestly, lots of people were predicting that this pandemic would stretch over at least two years if not longer depending on advances in vaccines and treatments. We’re in an extraordinarily good position compared to last May because we have working vaccines, we could have easily been here today with none.

What kind of evidence do you want? Articles from news organisations, quotes from specific scientists? There’s an abundance of it so you might have to be more specific about the kind of proof you’d accept.

On a hopefully comforting note, Israel are showing fantastic results with over half their population fully vaccinated and even having discussions about dropping their requirement to wear masks outside (which we never had). Things are getting better if we can find the patience to wait out the logistics of vaccinations.

@daffodilsandprimroses

Absolutely no one who conceived a baby last spring could have foreseen this.

Just as people TTC are probably hopeful it will be over by the time they have their babies. I hope it is but I’m fed up of this shaming people who dared to have a ‘lockdown baby.’

Nothing to do with shaming, it’s pointing out that we know pandemics last at least two years so moaning about an active choice made during that time is seems off. Plenty of things people had no choice in, having children is always a choice.

OP same here - my child hasn’t met most of my family and has met grandparents once. I’ve had no support as I have no one to bubble with. It’s rubbish.

I didn’t read up on the average lifespan of pandemics funnily enough icecream

Same hamhock

I am extremely fortunate compared to many

Yes you are. Many have died, have long covid, lost jobs, lost relationships, trapped with abusive partners, struggled financially/with mental health/with loneliness.

We get it . We all get it. We are equally tired, equally frustrated, bored, lonely, sad, depressed, irritated and so on.

Constantly ranting about it gets you nowhere.