I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

[Notthissticky]

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

It’s all totally shit! For some reason I feel much more anxious now as things start to be eased than I have done for the past year. I think it’s because now I’m just assuming everyone will go crazy and itll be non-stop parties and crap strewn all over parks. Jesus listening to myself I sound like a right barrel of laughs I just want things to be back to normal, I want to go out I want to see friends, I want to go on holiday to go to gigs and art galleries and the theatre. This year has made me realise I really struggle with not being in control of things and it’s not been a nice feeling at all

I agree, it's crap. And worse for some than others (beyond the genuinely awful I mean, like bereavement, long Covid, financial worries etc).

I am relatively lucky - work from home, supportive employers, one child at a nursery that he has been able to attend all through, another in year 6 so relatively self sufficient homeschool wise.

It's still crap, there is nothing fun to do and this (hopefully) last bit seems to be taking forever to come round. Can't wait to buy the kids clothes in a shop, go to the cinema, see people indoors, stay in a hotel room (cheap cos I'm a bit broke-ish), let my son go on playdate and even sleepovers and just be normal.

Although when I stop and think, the fact it is ILLEGAL to leave this country and we don't know how long that will last is really quite incredible. So much has changed in such a short time.

Thanks everyone! I was expecting to get my arse handed to me in true Mumsnet style so it's been nice to get a sympathetic hearing (though I'm of course sorry so many others feel the same way)

I am with you 💪

@AvonCallingBarksdale

It’s all totally shit! For some reason I feel much more anxious now as things start to be eased than I have done for the past year. I think it’s because now I’m just assuming everyone will go crazy and itll be non-stop parties and crap strewn all over parks. Jesus listening to myself I sound like a right barrel of laughs I just want things to be back to normal, I want to go out I want to see friends, I want to go on holiday to go to gigs and art galleries and the theatre. This year has made me realise I really struggle with not being in control of things and it’s not been a nice feeling at all

It's not nice but if any of us get to a point where we think this level of government control is okay, then something is really wrong.

Nobody signed up for it. Many have lost loved ones, are suffering with ill health, lost jobs etc.

Babies not being able to go to clubs or go for cuddles isn’t the end of the world. Plenty chose and are still choosing to have children in a pandemic so obviously know the downsides.

Agreed. My two are the same age. DS#2 hasn't met his grandparents. I'm so grateful we all pulled together and locked down without anarchy on the streets and that we're coming through this at last, by by heavens, it's been difficult. As we step out, blinking into post-covid, what will the world even be like? How many of the things, places, shops, activities we used to love will still be available?

My heart goes out to people with babies and toddlers during the last year. That life stage is tough enough without any support from family being whisked away.

the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID

But there's a good chance that's because we've had lockdowns, however shitty. Unfettered freedom might have made that number much bigger.
(And I loathe lockdown, I'm sick of it, but on balance I think we needed it.)

Bless you. I really do sympathise. However I honestly believe things are improving and in a few months you'll be able to see your family.
Please try not to let it get you down too much. At least the weather has been good enough for a couple of days to go in the garden.

I hope your little one recovers from his cold soon.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Nobody signed up for it. Many have lost loved ones, are suffering with ill health, lost jobs etc.

Babies not being able to go to clubs or go for cuddles isn’t the end of the world. Plenty chose and are still choosing to have children in a pandemic so obviously know the downsides.

I think quite a few people love lockdown.

Haven’t seen my parents since December 2019 and it’s really beginning to drag now. So worried they’re going to die before I see them and so pissed off to lose more than a year of being able to see them when they’ve likely got only a few years left at most. Not angry with the government where I live, who’ve mostly kept us safe, but the situation is just shitty all round, even for those of us who’ve had it relatively good. Mist be horrible to have small children and not even be able to get out to toddler groups or to meet other mums. You have my sympathy, OP.

Rant away you have every right too ( we all do). Don't feel guilty for having a moan about how utterly crap life is right now, I feel, especially on MN, that having a moan and being upset about lockdown and restrictions are often dismissed and shot down as selfish, when in reality its very selfish of others to dismiss your upset. We have all suffered in many different ways during all these covid times we should all be free to express how we feel about it without scorn or scrutiny from others. Be kind, as the saying goes

the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally

Would have cost you more emotionally if your parents were dead of it, which is what other people are dealing with.

Another anti-lockdown thread? Marvellous. I just finished reading Michael Rosen's book. The one he wrote after he spent part of last year in a coma because of Covid.

Some interesting stuff in there. Including the parts about people complaining about lockdown.

I do know people who've had this. I also knew people who've died because of covid.

Life is unlikely to return to what most of you would consider "normal" for a long time. I'm wondering what part of "mutating respiratory virus" so many people are struggling to understand.

I'd recommend the Rosen book. It might just give some of you some perspective. Including the part where his GP neighbour returned from his house, and wanted to hug her daughter, but had to shower and change first, because she'd sent him to A&E because he was so low on oxygen.

Just because you don't know anyone who's had it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Another 43 people have died of this today. Or at least, within 28 days of a positive test. That doesn't include those who've died *after 28 days. Or those who are struggling to fill their lungs to breathe in the first place.

@Whatafool123

Although when I stop and think, the fact it is ILLEGAL to leave this country and we don't know how long that will last is really quite incredible. So much has changed in such a short time.

France is in lockdown again, and other countries are essential travel only. Countries are trying to prevent this from getting in, so they're not letting anyone in without quarantine.

Have you got a friend you can bubble up with?

Some baby groups are running as support groups for less than 15 families

Can your OH take some extra annual leave?

I think you've got a point. If I'd have had the choice I would have taken my chance., a whole year of life more of less cancelled. Many many people will have died because of other medical issues because Covid has been given such high priority.,

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Nobody signed up for it. Many have lost loved ones, are suffering with ill health, lost jobs etc.

Babies not being able to go to clubs or go for cuddles isn’t the end of the world. Plenty chose and are still choosing to have children in a pandemic so obviously know the downsides.

No it’s not the end of the world, but I don’t think anyone who hasn’t had a baby during this time understands just how hard it has been. No support, DH not even allowed into the ward to visit/help after birth. No family allowed to help in the early months. No health visitors, no check ups. I know so many mums traumatised after the experience. I was pregnant before covid was even known about so not something I could have planned for.

Prepare yourself for the 'granny killer's comments and the lockdown lovers telling you what a selfish despicable human being you are.

It is frustrating and ludicrous that we are living like this for a glorified flu. Cos that's what it is. A respiratory virus that affects the elderly and weak. Rates go up in the winter and go down in the summer.
People can fling 144,00 deaths around all they like, until theres a more accurate way of recording deaths rather just 28 days of a positive test

Any hoo, try not to let it bother too much as the road map is still going ahead as planned so far and with deaths and hospital admissions still declining, they can't justify these restrictions for much longer.

We have a couple of month ahead of us, and if come June when most vulnerable are vaccinated ...and we still have restrictions any higher than tier 1, then we should all start to worry

What is rubbish to me is that if the government had been vaguely competent, the length of time the greatest restrictions have or had been in place would have been a lot shorter. Prompt action in March 2020, most of normal life would have resumed three weeks earlier, prompt action in September 2020 and the restrictions would have been in October (warmer, more daylight than in November), prompt action once the so-called Kent variant was known about, and schools would have partially returned two weeks earlier.

Yet it was fine for so-called influencers to visit Dubai, for Rita Ora, Dominic Cummings and other well-known people to break rules and keep their job.

OP I get you.

I have a 15 month old and it has been rough at times and very isolating.

I am just thankful that I was pregnant during 2019 and not 2020 because i'm not sure my anxiety could of taken the scans by myself after experiencing a loss previously.

I'm glad only one or two on here have used the 'but others have had it so much worse!" card - it's not the misery awards, people are entitled to feel pissed off and despairing at whatever they want.

@Rukaya

the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally

Would have cost you more emotionally if your parents were dead of it, which is what other people are dealing with.

This. So many people seem to think that because they've been lucky so far, and don't know anyone who's died of/suffered with CV, that's it.

@AcornAutumn: I don't think many people love lockdown in the sense you're implying. Some aspies have been intrigued by the idea of everyone else being stuck with the same shitty social life they have, for the most part, but most of their activities (support groups and mechanisms) have been cancelled, so they're *really struggling. Which means some of them are having more meltdowns and seizures. In some cases, a seizure/meltdown includes what looks an awful lot like a grand mal.

Still, some people *love lockdown....

@loveheartss

OP I get you.

I have a 15 month old and it has been rough at times and very isolating.

I am just thankful that I was pregnant during 2019 and not 2020 because i'm not sure my anxiety could of taken the scans by myself after experiencing a loss previously.

I'm glad only one or two on here have used the 'but others have had it so much worse!" card - it's not the misery awards, people are entitled to feel pissed off and despairing at whatever they want.

@loveheartss: people are indeed entitled to feel pissed off at whatever they want. A bit of perspective never harmed anyone. That seems sadly lacking in many cases.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Nobody signed up for it. Many have lost loved ones, are suffering with ill health, lost jobs etc.

Babies not being able to go to clubs or go for cuddles isn’t the end of the world. Plenty chose and are still choosing to have children in a pandemic so obviously know the downsides.

People like you seriously worry me. People like you are the reason why we are living like this a year on.

Do you have babies? Small children? They have a YEAR with no soft plays, groups, social interaction, cancelled birthday parties and the rest. Do you have any idea the damaging effects it has on young children and their mothers?
They are children being born who havent seen any grandparents, they think face masks are normal and will have social anxiety when things open back up again! This is an unnatural way to live!

People have lost loved ones??!! Do you cry and say a prayer each year with people are dying of the flu? Preventable diseases through eating, smoking and alcohol?

It absolutely boils my blood when people like you are so blasè when it comes to effects of lockdown.

We have 144,000 deaths who had a positive test with 28 days of dying, no evidence showing Covid Covid actually contributed to their death.
It had a 99% survival without a vaccine and now the top groups are vaccinated.

So it IS the end of the world cos people are fed up with absolute crock of shit and people like you are the who patronise and sit on your high horse while not having a clue of the effects of these restrictions.

Life is unlikely to return to what most of you would consider "normal" for a long time. I'm wondering what part of "mutating respiratory virus" so many people are struggling to understand

Mutating respiratory virus... you mean like flu? And no I’m not saying covid is the same as flu (I know it’s a different virus), but it’s now a very similar situation to flu in that we have vaccines and may need an annual booster due to variants. The covid situation has changed, people are protected, there’s no need for lockdown anymore.