Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

401 replies

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 15:52

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

OP posts:
Dongdingdong · 01/04/2021 18:35

Everyone who is at risk has now been offered a vaccine. It’s time to get back to real life.

Agreed.

Hamhockandmash · 01/04/2021 18:37

@daffodilsandprimroses it’s definitely affected my mental health and my experience of being a mum, and my parents experience of their first grandchild for sure. I am dreading my DC crying when he sees my parents too. No classes, no company, no anything!

daffodilsandprimroses · 01/04/2021 18:39

I think the people shouting at us for finding it hard possibly had their children pre pandemic Hmm

Enwi · 01/04/2021 18:42

FlowersWine OP, it’s bloody shit. And someone else having more shit doesn’t lessen your shit.

I too am finding it difficult to remember why we are doing this. My 2 year old and 10 month old have lost out on so much. It’s hard.

Torvean · 01/04/2021 18:47

I've only seen my dad once . My only nephew is 6 months I've still not met him.
I live somewhere that's had some of the strictest lockdown.
It sucks.
I'm also fed up with Royal mail.

Original poster
Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 18:48

@daffodilsandprimroses

I didn’t read up on the average lifespan of pandemics funnily enough icecream

Same hamhock Sad

Neither did I, funnily enough. I refuse to believe it was widely known to be worse now than in May last year. BoJo was still saying it'd be over by Christmas.
OP posts:
SunshineCake · 01/04/2021 18:49

Thank you @Notthissticky.

Original poster
Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 18:50

@notanothersaveusername

I am extremely fortunate compared to many

Yes you are. Many have died, have long covid, lost jobs, lost relationships, trapped with abusive partners, struggled financially/with mental health/with loneliness.

We get it . We all get it. We are equally tired, equally frustrated, bored, lonely, sad, depressed, irritated and so on.

Constantly ranting about it gets you nowhere.

I think you'll find this is the very first ranty thread I have posted about this. I am totally aware that dwelling on it won't get me anywhere. That doesn't mean it doesn't get on top of me and I need to let off steam from time to time.
OP posts:
Wellbythebloodyhell · 01/04/2021 18:58

@notanothersaveusername

I am extremely fortunate compared to many

Yes you are. Many have died, have long covid, lost jobs, lost relationships, trapped with abusive partners, struggled financially/with mental health/with loneliness.

We get it . We all get it. We are equally tired, equally frustrated, bored, lonely, sad, depressed, irritated and so on.

Constantly ranting about it gets you nowhere.

And dismissing other peoples feelings is just callous and insensitive. To use another PP phrase, since when did MN turn into the ultimate emotional top trumps game, its actually quite toxic Shock
Bluntpencil · 01/04/2021 19:02

I don’t understand the anger? It’s a virus, a global pandemic. These happen approximately every 100 years (read up on Spanish flu) and are always in the top 3 of risk to life on earth. (Global risk register).

It’s not directed at you personally, almost everyone is affected. Many people have died. Things will get better

MagicSummer · 01/04/2021 19:05

Just stop complaining, dear, many people have had a much worse time.

Dongdingdong · 01/04/2021 19:12

Oh for goodness sakes OP, rant away if it helps. Anyone saying otherwise can bore off.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 01/04/2021 19:14

@MagicSummer

Just stop complaining, dear, many people have had a much worse time.
I hope to god this is sarcasm
Peachee · 01/04/2021 19:15

I feel the same. I have a 15 month old. He was born in December developed sepsis and subsequently caught chicken pox at 8 weeks old from the hospital that was in jan feb last year (he was born in December) since then we’ve been in lockdown. I am practically horned out on my phone for lack of things to do and routine. I’m addicted to scrolling and more poor son is just left to his devices in our lounge.. don’t get me wrong I do play with him and we get him out for walks every day but I’m so sick of it all now. I’ve never been to a baby club/toddler group etc. I’m not sure if I would even know how to socialise or make a friend anymore. We took him to nursery and he was traumatised because we couldn’t settle him in because of COVID. It’s just completely messed up. He hasn’t been held properly my my DP mom and dad since March time as they are shielding. With the summer coming and more lockdowns being suggested I’m barely getting by. I feel so thankful and lucky that I still have my loved ones but it’s taking its toll massively on my mental health and sense of well being now.

Fembot123 · 01/04/2021 19:17

It’s totally shitty and those with really young kids like you are right on the coal face of shit.

Fembot123 · 01/04/2021 19:19

@Peachee

I feel the same. I have a 15 month old. He was born in December developed sepsis and subsequently caught chicken pox at 8 weeks old from the hospital that was in jan feb last year (he was born in December) since then we’ve been in lockdown. I am practically horned out on my phone for lack of things to do and routine. I’m addicted to scrolling and more poor son is just left to his devices in our lounge.. don’t get me wrong I do play with him and we get him out for walks every day but I’m so sick of it all now. I’ve never been to a baby club/toddler group etc. I’m not sure if I would even know how to socialise or make a friend anymore. We took him to nursery and he was traumatised because we couldn’t settle him in because of COVID. It’s just completely messed up. He hasn’t been held properly my my DP mom and dad since March time as they are shielding. With the summer coming and more lockdowns being suggested I’m barely getting by. I feel so thankful and lucky that I still have my loved ones but it’s taking its toll massively on my mental health and sense of well being now.
Sending hugs, what a hard time you’ve had Flowers
Fembot123 · 01/04/2021 19:19

@MagicSummer

Just stop complaining, dear, many people have had a much worse time.
Bog off
MmeLaraque · 01/04/2021 19:19

@ParadiseIsland

FWIW, I think the emphasis during the various levels of lockdowns couod have been different.

France has just gone back into lockdown but they had, until now, contained the virus well with a curfew, no restaurants etc...
what they dint have is restrictions on how many people to see indoors. Since the end of the 1 st lockdown, people have seen friends and family.

That’s what has made the year here particularly hard. And it seems another organisation worked well (well until the Kent variant took hold).

I wish we hadn’t had the ‘Eat out’ scheme, not seen people going out in pubs and restaurants, fight over what consist a substantial meal. And we could have seen our families instead.

@MrsHastingslikethebattle:

Save people who are near the life expectancy age anyway and could have quite possibly have died anyway if they didn't have Covid.

Someone said that to Michael Rosen. "But you're 74"

So? It's okay to sacrifice people because *you think it's okay?

That's an interesting slippery slope of ethics you're walking on.

Ohnomoreno · 01/04/2021 19:21

Totally agree but you'll get many quite aggressive responses about how selfish you are, no doubt.

Jojo19834 · 01/04/2021 19:22

Rant away, you write like me, I hate x and y but realise others have it bad. You are entitled to feel that. I have a nearly 8 month old and my god i found it tough as a first time single mum. I have missed out of so many experiences that I will never get again. I went back to work 6 months earlier than planned as it was the only way to do something other than shake a toy and this way I get to speak to adults instead.

Rant away

MercyBooth · 01/04/2021 19:22

@Poppins2016 This weeks Panorama was an eye opener about contaminated test samples.

GoldenOmber · 01/04/2021 19:23

Rant away, OP, it’s been epically shit.

ZoBo123 · 01/04/2021 19:25

Typical response from the lockdown lovers. Covid trumps all unfortunately. No one ever died of anything before 2020. Really feel for you OP and hope that everything gets better for you soon. We are gradually coming out of lockdown. Just got overtaken by a snail on our way out.

Wherediditgo · 01/04/2021 19:27

I’m totally with you OP and it’s a shame you had to caveat your rant but I understand why you did.

I’m a shadow of who I was 12 months ago. Stuck in an endless cycle of depression/anxiety, I’m suffering with pretty sever derealisation at the moment which means I constant feel like I’m going to pass out.

My lovely home, that was once my haven has now become my prison. I hate being here. My marriage is suffering massively. I’m a terrible mum at the moment and I’ve just had enough.

Fembot123 · 01/04/2021 19:29

@Wherediditgo

I’m totally with you OP and it’s a shame you had to caveat your rant but I understand why you did.

I’m a shadow of who I was 12 months ago. Stuck in an endless cycle of depression/anxiety, I’m suffering with pretty sever derealisation at the moment which means I constant feel like I’m going to pass out.

My lovely home, that was once my haven has now become my prison. I hate being here. My marriage is suffering massively. I’m a terrible mum at the moment and I’ve just had enough.

😨