Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

How do you feel a year on?

187 replies

User133847 · 19/03/2021 16:57

A year ago today our office closed due to Covid - and I think it was the last night the pubs were allowed open - so we're about to pass the 12 month mark since lockdown.

How are you actually feeling at the moment? Dejected, demoralised, depressed etc, or more excited that there's a clear roadmap out of lockdown and a successful vaccination roll out? Or just a constant mix of both?

OP posts:
Littlesthobo84 · 20/03/2021 19:10

Bored and flat.
Anxious.
I’m not scared of catching of covid but I no longer like going out of the house because of all the rules and the weird. There’s nothing enjoyable about anything, nothing spontaneous or carefree. It’s just hard work. Kids are better at school but also no longer want to leave the house. I feel like I’ve become stuck and I can’t imagine just getting up and going out somewhere again and not feeling hyper vigilant and stressed about it.
I think there will be collective PTSD at some point.

Chazzy19876 · 20/03/2021 19:30

@HesterShaw1 you’ve articulated my thoughts exactly!

tsmainsqueeze · 20/03/2021 19:45

Angry about mishandled aspects of the virus .
Totally untrusting of the government .
Worried that we will have lost some of our freedoms permanently .
Sad for all the loss -death , business's especially when we look back and realise how some things could have been done in a better way .
Bored , flat , cynical.
Not at all like my normally positive self.

NoseinBook3 · 20/03/2021 19:46

Worn down and weary

Soulstirring · 20/03/2021 19:53

Conflicted. Im sad at the way this has gone, I’m disappointed with what I see as misreporting and scaremongering. I’m anxious at the future and how our generation and that of our children will pay for this disaster.

But I’m also so content and happy, I love my family and the space we have. I’ve never worked so hard, or being so challenged over the last year but it’s made me appreciate my DH and the way he’s looked after us during his furlough more. I couldn’t have done it without him and vice versa. I love the weekends not running around, taking time to exercise and just be lazy. My kids are happy. It’s the first time in my life (I’m 40) I’ve had this and it’s wonderful. I miss meals and seeing family but it will happen soon and I can live with that for now.

tenterden · 20/03/2021 20:50

So yes it is a mixed bag here.

I have really missed going out with my friends and my holidays. I usually go away several times a year and it looks like it will be summer 2022 before we can go abroad without stress, drama and uncertainty.

On the plus side, I have saved about £13k due to no spends on commuting, holidays, eating out, clothes etc. I have absolutely bloody loved WFH and my employer has said we will be doing this going forwards so I am so happy about that.

I have also lost 2 stone in weight as I have been able to take stock, get off the treadmill and take better care of myself. Skin is also better as I have a much better routine.

My Mental Health is much improved, so I will try my best to take forwards some of the good things about the past two years with me into the "life beyond" once we get there Smile

HopelessBlue192 · 20/03/2021 20:58

Like a pile of shite.

Exhausted. And I can't see the end in sight. People keep telling me it's coming, but I've spent so long being optimistic about it and it not happening that I can't hold onto that any longer.

willibald · 20/03/2021 20:59

Over this shit. Second jab next week.

CoffeeWithCheese · 20/03/2021 21:18

Well, let's go back to early February 2020. I was in the best mental and physical shape I had been in in many many years, my kids were in really good places with schools, and we had the SEN provision for my youngest set up and running really nicely and she was really starting to fly socially, in confidence, academically and in terms of her speech development (which is impaired).

Now - DD2 is in a class which is utterly hellish in terms of how they treat the children like walking biologically hazards, have the kids utterly utterly terrified of how they can give the teachers covid, is too bloody scared to speak up in school, because speaking can spread covid particles. She's lost masses of her speech fluency, and academically is struggling no end. DD1 is convinced she's thick as she couldn't answer all the questions on the maths assessments they'd given them - on the entire year's content when they didn't get taught half of it, and wants to disengage completely from education. Youngest went through a period of being so anxious she was getting blinding migraines, and too scared to even leave the house to go into the garden - MN charmingly told me she needed to learn some resilience. She had medical appointments delayed which have caused health issues to deteriorate beyond the point they would have done and past the point in life where they are treatable - lifelong consequences.

I get panic attacks, have anxiety so severe it causes me to stammer and struggle to swallow, and am on regular GP checkins and the max dose of medication they will give me, in counselling and on waiting lists for other services. My mum's health has deteriorated so much with the isolation and pressure to be at home that she has had a number of serious falls and cognitively she's beginning to struggle, and she's so depressed I fear for her in terms of suicide to be honest.

I've seen my children's friends disengage completely, internet bullying's gone rife because of kids so young being basically shunted unsupervised onto the internet and parents just being desperate to not get fired for not doing their jobs. Their parents are generally on antidepressants now - previously fit, healthy individuals. Friends whose children have been denied access to therapies and are now having speech therapy finally in the middle of a fucking field!

So yep. Broken. Destroyed. But as long as sanctimonious fuckwits get to waft around their large houses baking banana bread.

If I didn't have the kids I would have committed suicide long ago.

PinkTonic · 20/03/2021 21:21

I’m very lucky, I have a nice house and a garden. I lost my job at the start but I had redundancy pay and I’ve found another better job. I’ve had both jabs, so has my dad and my husband has had his first. But it’s getting so hard, not seeing anyone, my dad, my children, our friends. Working from home and trying to onboard into a new role in a completely different organisation, haven’t met my boss or colleagues or team. Can’t get any insight into culture and see how people interact. I’ve really started to struggle to be honest. It feels like a never ending living hell and I’m handling the pressure of the new job really badly. But no one I love has died.

RedcurrantPuff · 20/03/2021 21:21

I have found it quite hard this weekend, my fb memories have come up and I was in tears, it just brought back how traumatic it was. Our nice lives just trashed by the government on a whim - or that’s how it felt. It was scary how easily it happened.

But I feel a lot more hopeful now. I’d prefer not to look back at that time again. So I deleted the fb posts.

RedcurrantPuff · 20/03/2021 21:29

As for how I’ve been affected, probably the same as some people, better than some, worse than some. My husband hasn’t worked a full week for a year, but we are grateful for some work and furlough. The kids education has been dire, they need to get back to school properly. They’ve missed friends. I’ve had enough of living my life on zoom. I loathe it. I lost my job 2 months in. It taught me a lot about the world of work and people that are great when everything is going well but are just a disappointment when it comes to it. But I then got another job which is overall much better for a better company. My dad has had delayed cancer treatment and his cancer came back :(

Very very thankful to science and the vaccines. My parents have had a dose each. My sister has had both doses. I’ve had one and my husband is getting his tomorrow.

Apple40 · 20/03/2021 21:34

Feeling hopeful, I have a new job. Closing my childminding business despite working through all lockdowns it was just no longer working for us as a family. Hubby trying to work from home, kids trying to study with constant screaming and temper tantrums from the little ones I was caring for , Their parents mixing and having play dates during all the lockdowns when not allowed and no bubble in place so increasing my risk and them not caring but being p*** off when you then exclude for high temp etc.

Laggartha · 20/03/2021 21:45

Numb, fatigued and on autopilot. I feel anxious for no reason and just have very little to look forward to.

AllDoneIn · 20/03/2021 21:46

Mostly fine, largely because I'm leaving teaching and starting a new work life. Bit pissed off about the vaccine delay as DH and I were looking forward to it soon (both forties). On the other hand as soon as I leave secondary teaching my Covid risk will drop massively. We've all made it this far, just gritting teeth now and holding on.

peachfire · 20/03/2021 23:34

I feel weary now. But I'm looking forward to a few more things opening up. We've been lucky to be unaffected in terms of our own health and our families, and most family members have been vaccinated so feeling more relaxed (although none of us have ever been at high risk). For us it's only been the first lockdown and this recent lockdown that has felt very restricted, so it doesn't feel like a full year of lockdown. The rest of the time, we've been able to do the usual activities we like (in Tier 2), including holidays and children's activities. We've had some genuinely lovely days out on walks and doing permitted activities when it's been allowed. I've realised that I don't mind much about social mixing restrictions as an introvert.

DD is in nursery so she's been able to continue attending all winter. I've made an effort to get her out every day even in the snow and rain, which has been hard but ultimately it has been good for both of us. I think she's been mostly quite happy throughout, she hasn't been stuck at home and every day is an adventure. Financially we've been fine, even ending up better off due to some support payments, business picking up and investments doing well. As an individual I'm more preoccupied with personal issues (ttc, moving house, studying, finances) than anything happening out in the world.

SavingsQuestions · 20/03/2021 23:41

Congratulations on leaving teaching AllDoneIn! What are you going to do next?!

Kittyhelp · 21/03/2021 00:27

A year ago today I was at home with a cough and pain in my right lung. DS had had an awful cough for a week (NHS) but all his colleagues had had a bad cold so.....I work in a school and had reluctantly agreed to go on the rota. I'm asthmatic and was told not to, but the thought of sitting at home doing nothing terrified me! I spiked a fever for half an hour. Five days from now DH had a migraine. Two weeks from now he was in hospital and positive for covid. DS had his second Pfizer vaccine 51 weeks to the day he started coughing ☺️

recluse · 21/03/2021 00:31

Numb. Living day by day. Sometimes cannot believe that this has happened. Can’t believe that around the world so many of us are wearing masks.

Aware that we might have a good summer and a bad winter covid wise.

Worried that I won’t be able to see my elderly dad this summer - he lives abroad and I haven’t seen him since the summer of 2019. He has changed in that time and it makes me worry that I might never see him again.

Tears come easily when the news is on but that’s nothing new.

Hopeful that life will soon be better for my teens in Year 10, 12 and 13, but also worried that it won’t. Agree with @CaCaLand: About the loss of DC schooling and social interaction and ongoing effects for university education etc. Years 10-13 have been really badly affected in many ways.

Excited that it’s Spring.

Sad that the already diminished chances of my meeting anyone (romantically) are diminished even more now.

Aware of how lucky we have been as a family so far.

Angry with the government for the way they have handled so many things in the past year.

LEMtheoriginal · 21/03/2021 00:39

Broken. Im not able to look forward, i don't even care about things opening again. It all feels hollow.

My mum died (not covid) but i couldn't see her in the months before she died. The guilt is killing me she will have felt abandoned.

I go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed. Im absenting myself from my dp and my dd. Im in bed by 9 most nights.

Im not living, im existing.

Firebird83 · 21/03/2021 00:39

Tired and flat. Plus I’ve put on loads of weight over the winter which I’m not happy about.

Designerenvy · 21/03/2021 00:42

Totally fed up . I live in Ireland, I’ve followed all the restrictions and here we are, still in lockdown with a very slow vaccine roll out ! So fed up of the 5km limit, need to get out of this gold fish bowl we are living in !!

Houseofvelour · 21/03/2021 00:56

A bit lost in all honesty.

I've gone from being a super mum with daily groups and activities with the kids to sticking the telly on all day and letting them watch it and play when they feel like it while I either clean or sit around feeling numb.

AcornAutumn · 21/03/2021 01:02

LEM

Broken is the word. It's so hard being so broken.

ClearMountain · 21/03/2021 01:09

I keep seeing FB memories from last year and being reminded how I naively thought this would only last a few weeks. Three weeks to flatten the curve! An event that I was due to attend last year was postponed till this year - now it’s been cancelled entirely because nobody knows when it will be permitted or safe. I genuinely thought I’d be going this year.

Having said that, most of the social things that are banned make no difference to me, because I have kids so I can’t go out anyway.