How do you feel a year on?

[User133847]

A year ago today our office closed due to Covid - and I think it was the last night the pubs were allowed open - so we're about to pass the 12 month mark since lockdown.

How are you actually feeling at the moment? Dejected, demoralised, depressed etc, or more excited that there's a clear roadmap out of lockdown and a successful vaccination roll out? Or just a constant mix of both?

I've been on the 'coronacoaster' all year. One day I basically cry all day long, the next I'm broadly optimistic. But like many people here, my predominant emotion these days is numbness and apathy. This time last year, it felt surreal. Now, it just seems grimly normal. I look back at my 'old' life and think how amazing it was, even though objectively it was nothing special. Just so many choices. I could go for a swim, I could meet up with friends in a cafe or a pub, I could travel abroad with no hassle, I could browse in a shop, get my nails done, visit a museum and 100 other things. Now, all the richness and joy of life is gone. I was just looking at clothes I bought last February which still have the labels on because they've never been worn. What's the point in dressing up in order to do Teams meetings and watch Netflix?

Life is just a dreary shade of beige now. All the little joys and experiences have gone.

Angry and upset. I've lost friends and family to Covid. I've seen people suffer for months due to Covid. I've not seen my family and DC are missing out.

I'm angry that our government didn't bother to have any form of strategy, angry they prioritised Cummings over the nation, angry that millions of pounds has magically found its way into the pockets of the government's mates and that they haven't been held to account, and angry that on the rare things the government did make clear there's dozens of threads on here showing that some sections of society don't give a shiny shit that maybe the rest of us are over lockdown too as they do as they please.

Very hopeful and excited for things to start opening up again.

Got a sleep problem and an alcohol problem. An eating(bingeing and purging at least x3 times a day) problem Lockdown 3 has done me in. I ran a lot in lockdown 1 and felt hopeful. All of that has disintegrated. Struggling with work but can’t tell anyone. Got a complicated relationship situation. Rare times I have any time not taken up with work and duty the only thing I want to do is crawl under a duvet. I’m mainly numb and when not numb I’m irritable. I can’t let the sadness in as it feels like it will overwhelm me if I do.
I haven’t really suffered through this compared to others but I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m just done in.

Thanks @MarshaBradyo. I think it feels particularly grim at the moment as its coming up for 2 years since my last trip back home. And now me and DH have to wait longer than we thought for vaccines 😥 it seems unlikely we will manage to get back for a visit this year. Onwards and upwards though.

Irritated and annoyed that we have sacrificed the younger generation ie those under 21. Nursing homes due to pressure were to prioritised , this may sound callus but many of those residents were not even aware of what was happening . This approach has caused a generational divide

Traumatised is probably the best word.

I’m ok whatever happens now, bring it on.

I’m not getting hopes up that the current vaccines will be the all conquering silver bullet, just in case the virus mutates again.

Notwithstanding that possibility, I’m happy that the end will be in sight regardless as the Gov can’t afford to shut society down indefinitely.

Life is just eat work sleep repeat for us atm. Struggling to adjust to another new work role in lockdown. High pressure position and totally virtual onboarding. Off to visit DF in his care home tomorrow from behind glass! Looking forward to April praying things open up a bit and that we'll be able to go on holiday this summer.

Honestly sad to see so much division, from both sides. People who are pro and anti anything hate each other and its hard to watch.

I found out today someone I used to know well who is the same age as me in their 30,s is I’ll with long covid and has blood clots issues due to it so has to inject herself with blood clot thinners- so I’m feeling rather lucky and haven’t been able to get over that emotion at the moment. I guess o feel that could have been me?!

That made no sense at all and my spelling is appalling there! Sorry!

Grateful we haven't lost any friends or relatives , or had any that suffered severe illness . And that this has happened at a particular time in our lives where we have been least affected .

Optimistic with the vaccine rollout and Spring approaching we can look forward to better times ahead .

But underneath all this apprehensive as to rising cases in Europe, new variants and how effective actually is the vaccine (I know someone who has been vaccinated who has Covid , although she isn't seriously ill). And of course the long term impact of everything .

Numb and exhausted but lucky to be physically well and to still have a job. Had a lot happen this year aside the pandemic and have been off work for a few days as just had enough and feeling ill with stress/burn out caused by various things - but not helped by dealing with them in lockdown.

I've been angry, withdrawn, angry, anxious ...but now I'm feeling better.

Nearly everyone I know, myself included, have had the vaccine.

We have dates where restrictions will be lifting and have things planned for this year. If it wasnt for them dates on the road map (I'm well aware they can change) I would be in utter despair and depression.

Its something to hold onto that this shit boring life isn't forever.

@CaCaLand

Extremely pissed off and very angry.

About the 125000 dead.

About the loss of DC schooling and social interaction and ongoing effects for university education etc. Years 10-13 have been really badly affected in many ways.

About the loss of grass roots sports for most of the year so DC have lost all their fitness (walking does not cut it).

About the lies and corruption of the government, the contracts awarded to friends and Tory party donors/contacts, the millions and millions of misspent money. The waste of money on EOTHO.

About the total squandering of the first lockdown and the need for a second and third lockdown.

About the open borders and the fact that we still have inadequate border controls to stop the new South African variant (widespread in Europe now) and Brazilian variant bringing a huge third wave to the UK.

About the PTSD and other trauma to the NHS staff who treated the Covid-19 patients.

About not seeing family for 1 year.

^^ 100% this

@MadMadMadamMim

Just meh.

I'm tired and have no enthusiasm for anything. There's nowhere to go, nothing to do and nothing I can raise much 'give a shit' about.

I'm glum. It feels like, yeah, whatever. I'll believe it when I see it.

This totally sums it up for me. 'Believe it when it happens' until that point, just keep going

Flat. Lost the spark for life.

Tired and utterly fed up of it. I go through phases of coping day to day and then suddenly feel overwhelmed, and wondering if life will ever be normal again.

Yes, we may get on top of it, and gradually get our freedoms back, but I've a feeling the press will cling on to the doom and gloom for years to come, and sensationalise any tiny bit of news about new variants/potential hideous diseases on the way to get us.

Overeating and struggling with obesity. Exhausted. Not sure what will happen with future with work and finances. Not sleeping well.

Exhausted :(

Exhausted and a bit traumatised if I'm honest. Developed horrendous agoraphobia and have never been so fat. Starting to feel a little brighter recently though. Mostly I just miss my mum .

Grateful for every small, cautious socially-distanced human interaction.

Flat, like my spark has gone. I used to be a fun mum and now I don’t even want to parent any more. Dd7 has developed a shocking attitude which I realise is probably just mirroring mine. Feel like driving off and not coming back because they’d be better off without me.

Depressed. Had the vaccine last week. Thought it would make me feel better, but l don’t.

Watching 3rd wave in Europe and scrabbling for vaccines and just feel Only a matter time before 3rd wave hits here. Dd was really depressed out of school, but it’s only a matter of time....

Just moved Italian holiday to next year. Was rolled over from last year. Don’t think they’ll be much foreign travel this year realistically.

Lock down was actually very positive for us.. Some unexpected bonuses.
In many ways.

I feel optimistic that a window of fun could open up for may half term and the children can stay safely on school until the summer hols.

But over all, I'm not feeling overly optimistic about winter again..schools, stress.. I'd feel much happier if vaccines can be tweaked sooner for varients, pubs and restaurants are ordered to keep establishments well ventilated if open, fast tests to see whose got it developed with much higher quality, schools closed when cases rise, even for three weeks etc.. But not this awful hanging on and on with cases going through the roof etc.