Husbands vaccine is today and he won't go

[Dbwoshem]

My husband is group 6 (age 36) and its taken me a lot of effort to get his vaccine appointment booked through our gp. I had mine last week and I was so, so relieved.

This morning he gets up to leave for work and tells me he isnt going. Now this is because he is absolutely TERRIFIED of needles. He has a severe phobia of them. We have been together 20 years. He has had blood tests or injections on a few occasions and has always fainted. I do feel for him.

But I have spent alot of time this past week speaking to him about it and trying to ease his concerns. And also to stress how important I think it is that he should have it to protect himself and our family. He was going with me to assist up until this morning when he is refusing. He has now gone to work and I don't think he will come back for his appointment.

What do I do? I know its a phobia, but I am so frustrated that's hes willing to put himself and our family at risk. He has also said that God forbid if he ever gets cscener, or diabetes or any illness in his life that requires treatment from injection he will refuse all treatment!! This is a big, burly guy who is covered in tattoos! (tattoo needles are different supposedly)
I can't respect his choice, I just can't. Our whole weekend will be spent either arguing or not speaking to each other now aswell

I had my 1st jab last weekend. The needle was so tiny I didn’t feel a thing if that helps. I also used to be needle phobic but had to get over it pretty quickly when I had gestational diabetes with DS2 and had to inject 4 times a day :(

Sorry @Wolfiefan, I had a moment of madness!

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

@threatmatrix

Maybe he’s looked on the government website, where after you scroll down 3 miles you get to deaths from the vaccine. In one week there’s been over 200 deaths each from each vaccine. I find this scary and why isn’t it on the news.

This is where statistics, without the correct analysis, can be dangerous in the hands of people who don't know what they're looking at.

There is a difference between causation and correlation, threatmatrix.

fullfact.org/online/vaers-covid-vaccine-deaths/

@threatmatrix

Maybe he’s looked on the government website, where after you scroll down 3 miles you get to deaths from the vaccine. In one week there’s been over 200 deaths each from each vaccine. I find this scary and why isn’t it on the news.

Well he can't possibly have since this is an outright lie

Go stick a foil hat on

^ That's why it's not on the news.

Hypnosis can work wonders for many people with a phobia like this (trust me, I know). Please give it some thought. Sorry if repeating other posts, but I've not read full thread.
Anyway, all the best, and if he doesn't have his vaccine , that's fine because those of us who don't have his phobia are able to do the whole 'herd-vaccinated' thing

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-vaccine-adverse-reactions/coronavirus-vaccine-summary-of-yellow-card-reporting

Research and analysis
Coronavirus vaccine - weekly summary of Yellow Card reporting
Updated 11 March 2021

This report covers the period 9 December 2020 to 28 February 2021.

[Extract] [My bolding]

(...)

Events with a fatal outcome

Vaccination and surveillance of large populations means that, by chance, some people will experience and report a new illness or events in the days and weeks after vaccination. A high proportion of people vaccinated in the vaccination campaign so far are very elderly, many of whom will also have pre-existing medical conditions. Older age and chronic underlying illnesses make it more likely that coincidental adverse events will occur, especially given the millions of people vaccinated. It is therefore important that we carefully review these reports to distinguish possible side effects from illness that would have occurred irrespective of vaccination.

Part of our continuous analysis includes an evaluation of natural death rates over time, to determine if any specific trends or patterns are occurring that might indicate a vaccine safety concern. Based on age-stratified all-cause mortality in England and Wales taken from the Office for National Statistics death registrations, several thousand deaths are expected to have occurred, naturally, within 7 days of the many millions of doses of vaccines administered so far, mostly in the elderly.

The MHRA has received 227 UK reports of suspected ADRs to the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine in which the patient died shortly after vaccination, 275 reports for the Oxford University/ AstraZeneca vaccine and 4 where the brand of vaccine was unspecified. The majority of these reports were in elderly people or people with underlying illness. Usage of the AstraZeneca has increased rapidly and as such, so has reporting of fatal events with a temporal association with vaccination however, this does not indicate a link between vaccination and the fatalities reported. Review of individual reports and patterns of reporting does not suggest the vaccine played a role in the death.

A range of other isolated or series of reports of non-fatal, serious suspected ADRs have been reported. These all remain under continual review, including through analysis of expected rates in the absence of vaccine. There are currently no indications of specific patterns or rates of reporting that would suggest the vaccine has played a role.

@ChameleonClara

Lots of judgement on here, horrible to read.

People are complicated and very varied.

I couldn't agree more.

So glad he managed to get it OP. Well done for managing the whole situation! I don’t have any phobias either so while I have empathy at some point my patience would run out too.

Please make sure you give your GP a call and explain he had a panic attack afterwards and he will need some Xanax for the next shot. What I can empathise hugely with is panic attacks sadly. Once I feel one building, which is thankfully rare, the only thing that stops me spiralling is Xanax. Don’t be fobbed off with breathing techniques and shite. He needs the cavalry! It’s a legitimate clinical treatment for situations exactly like this. Explain you’re not asking for 30, just 2 or 3 to get him through the shot.

@flippertygibbit

I have needle and medical phobia so I know exactly the mind set he's in. The sheer terror puts all reasonable thought out the window and I have to say OP you may have heightened it dramatically by forcing the appointment which is making the issue a whole lot worse.

The best I can offer is you try to get some Emla cream from the chemist. This will numb the area (google where the injection site will be) and he won't feel anything. To help him feel better before, during and after, if he clenches his arms, legs - keeping his blood pressure up, this might help too. This should stop the fainting because you faint when your blood pressure drops. The fear of fainting in itself is awful.

On another note your sheer lack of empathy towards him is actually disgusting, you're being more selfish than you're accusing him of being.

I'm so glad I have a loving family who support me through my phobias, that's a great help, especially having Cancer and being autoimmune because without that support, I don't know where I'd be.

100% this

Selfish attitude. If he can have a tattoo he can have the vaccination.

@Fluffmum

Selfish attitude. If he can have a tattoo he can have the vaccination.

As has been said several times, getting a tattoo and having an injection are worlds apart.

@Fluffmum

Selfish attitude. If he can have a tattoo he can have the vaccination.

If you'd bothered to read the full thread rather this is covered many times over.

I know that there is no rational basis in the phobias people have, but I would REALLY struggle with someone who was too terrified to have a tiny little innoculation that takes 2 seconds and you barely feel it (I know, I've had it) when they are happy to undergo the pain of a tattooist's needle for hours on end purely for vanity.

It's the act of a good, responsible citizen to do your bit and have the vaccine if you can. The sooner we are all protected the sooner vulnerable people will stop dying and the rest of us can get our lives back. People are losing their livelihoods, their sanity, their educations and sometimes literally their lives for this, and he can't bring himself to do something that even little toddlers have to cope with. It's pathetic. He's a hypocrite.

You clearly don't understand phobias @VivaBahhumbug and are obviously another who hasn't read the full thread otherwise you'd know there's a huge difference.

You're the hypocrite for saying you know there's no rational basis in phobias and then criticising someone who has one.

He needs to own his phobia himself like an adult instead of being infantalised and enabled by women. I'd have to have treatment for PTSD and depression that's unpleasant and worse, but as an adult with a family it's what you do to be the best person you can for your family.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve needed treatment for PTSD and depression, but presumably OP loves her husband and wants to make sure he stays healthy. Which is why she makes the effort to do so as she has said he absolutely won’t do it for himself. Should he work on this, of course but not everyone is ready to snap into shape because they should.

I often have to ‘nag’ my DH about being on top of his health, in fact my doing so was the reason he didn’t ignore a cancer red flag. Some people are proactive about their health, some aren’t. While I am aware and am always consulted, I am bored shitless by our finances and trust DH to organise all our savings and investments. That’s what a lot of being married is to me, we combine our strengths and get support for our weaknesses

Had my jab last week, didn’t feel a thing. Didn’t need cotton wool pad either, no blood or visible mark - wondered if it had actually been done! Is your GP doing vaccines? If so, why not ring surgery and explain situation - they may be able to help eg home visit or allow you to go with him? Can’t be easy, I’d be furious but you can’t force him to have it

This is brilliant OP, I'm so pleased for him, what an achievement!

@Bythemillpond - letting it rip would have made health services across the globe collapse. And we have no idea how long it could last.

As has been said several times, getting a tattoo and having an injection are worlds apart.

Oh don't be ridiculous. They aren't worlds apart at all. One is breaking your skin and penetrating the flesh with a needle and the other is breaking the skin and penetrating the flesh with a needle.

One hurts either for barely three seconds or not at all, the other is very uncomfortable for hours at a time.

If you've had tattoos or piercings out of choice then please do bore off with how you can't cope with a tiny injection. It really is utterly pathetic. It's insulting. Grow up and stop being selfish.

I have a phobia, I would always put the collective safety of others above my phobia because I'm not self centred.

That's what it basically comes down to, to me anyway.

Totally agree ILoveToads

My daughter had Hypno for her phobia of needles it is much improved. Managed a blood test with minimal anxiety. I suggest going for that and ignoring the jab for now.
It’s not the end of the World just leave him be not worth ruining weekend for. Just encourage some Hypno soon instead

Well done to him, that's great! I'm glad he did it and feels better about it.

DH is totally phobic about needles and will not be getting the vaccine. He has no tattoos (I'm covered in them so we must make a funny pair!) or piercings, he has never had blood taken and he hasn't had an injection since he was a small child. He couldn't get his BCG or tetanus jags at secondary school due to his fear. He isn't even registered with a GP because he's so scared of anything medical.

I've tried talking to him about it but there's just no way. I'm praying that the nasal covid vaccination is approved so he can get that.