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Original poster

Husbands vaccine is today and he won't go

431 replies

Dbwoshem · 12/03/2021 07:50

My husband is group 6 (age 36) and its taken me a lot of effort to get his vaccine appointment booked through our gp. I had mine last week and I was so, so relieved.

This morning he gets up to leave for work and tells me he isnt going. Now this is because he is absolutely TERRIFIED of needles. He has a severe phobia of them. We have been together 20 years. He has had blood tests or injections on a few occasions and has always fainted. I do feel for him.

But I have spent alot of time this past week speaking to him about it and trying to ease his concerns. And also to stress how important I think it is that he should have it to protect himself and our family. He was going with me to assist up until this morning when he is refusing. He has now gone to work and I don't think he will come back for his appointment.

What do I do? I know its a phobia, but I am so frustrated that's hes willing to put himself and our family at risk. He has also said that God forbid if he ever gets cscener, or diabetes or any illness in his life that requires treatment from injection he will refuse all treatment!! This is a big, burly guy who is covered in tattoos! (tattoo needles are different supposedly)
I can't respect his choice, I just can't. Our whole weekend will be spent either arguing or not speaking to each other now aswell

OP posts:
Devlesko · 12/03/2021 13:07

It's up to him and if he panicked at the last minute, what use would it be cancelling.
I'm sure the vaccine went to good use.

Wannabangbang · 12/03/2021 13:13

Instead of judging him try to support him rebooking and get some Elma cream from your gp for him so won't feel it. Phobias are Phobias and if this was a woman frightened of spiders people wouldn't judge. With a numbing cream he might feel able to attend and that's much better than him not having it. For the record i didn't even feel it lol, thought they hadn't done it properly lol, next day muscle pains so tell him not to worry.

FrickinA · 12/03/2021 13:26

Is it at a vacc centre? Because 1) we have loads of needle phonics coming in and if you let the check in people know you will be whisk through immediately 2) it’s really not a very ‘medical’ or ‘sterile’ setting in lots of places - leisure centres, the bar of a racecourse, a conference centre, music venue are some of the places where we are and it look more like when you go to vote than anything else. We don’t even use hospital screens at ours - they’re temporary events screens, normal plastic chairs, clinician and vaccinators in normal clothes...
It might help him to know that.

Gobbeldegook · 12/03/2021 13:59

If it's the medical setting that's making him panic a vaccination center might be better than a gp. Mine was in a huge office with a few desks scattered around the room. Very clean and well set up but didn't have the clinical feel.
I am also very nervous with needles and faint during blood tests, without fail. I didn't even know she'd jabbed me till she said done.

Frequentflier · 12/03/2021 14:01

Being scared of spiders does not endanger other people, or your family, so a poor analogy.

TheOldRazzleDazzle · 12/03/2021 14:08

Can’t believe people are still questioning how he can be phobic around needles and then happily get tattoos. Op has explained why and other posters have given different reasons of why it would be different. I mean, i don’t have a needle phobia as such but I find the thought of something slicing into my muscle really unpleasant - not something that happens with a tattoo.

Must be nice going through life when everything is so black and white.

XenoBitch · 12/03/2021 14:20

@Frequentflier

Being scared of spiders does not endanger other people, or your family, so a poor analogy.
But someone with a phobia fears that they are in danger themselves. It is not rational.
Abraxan · 12/03/2021 15:36

If it's more about the sterile medical setting go for a vaccination hub or large centre.

Mine was a smaller hub arranged by the GP (group 6 so not the large centres) which wasn't a medical setting. It was in a church hall. Lots of tables and chairs. Most were open but you could ask for a screen if you needed some privacy.
The medical staff doing the vaccines were just wearing normal clothes, no white coats or medical tunics/trouser sets, etc. They did have a mask but then that's the norm these days everywhere rather than being for a medical setting.

Nothing about it felt like a medical centre at all. So it would remove that kind of issue I think.

saraclara · 12/03/2021 16:00

The vaccine hubs are very very public places to be having a jab if you have such a severe phobia and are guaranteed to faint. So of course he's going to be freaked out at the idea.

I don't know why it's so difficult for some people to understand how bad having a phobia can be. Fortunately I don't suffer from anything like OP's husband, but I am claustrophobic (though relatively mildly) and if anyone was to force me to, say, enter a pothole, I would lose it within a few metres.

The best way to deal with this is to contact his doctor, frankly. Not to bully him or shame him, or lose your temper with him. Phobias wouldn't exist if any of those tactics worked. Everyone would be cured of them.

Shadowboy · 12/03/2021 16:05

I have an immense phobia of needles. I actually didn’t complete the career I wanted to do because of them.(vet)

I pass out if they come anywhere near me and I have inadvertently wet myself before.

Hence I don’t want the vaccine- I don’t want to embarrass myself like that. The sickness I feel beforehand is immense. The last needle I had was before surgery and it took 3 adults to support me when I passed out apparently.

I would take a non injection vaccination if they ever made one.

Original poster
Dbwoshem · 12/03/2021 16:06

We've been and he has had it Smile I am very pleased. There was a large queue and he wouldn't let me speak to them or go in with him but I waited outside and I could see him through the window. The nurse gave him a sweet to eat whilst she did it. He was fine until he got back to the car, where he had a panic attack. He's calmed down now and is having a lie down, feeling very drained but he is glad he has had it done.

OP posts:
Chocolatefreak · 12/03/2021 16:09

Well done to him, and you for supporting him. Great that he did it successfully, it might give him the mental boost he needs for future jabs (he'll need it for the second dose).

Lovelydiscusfish · 12/03/2021 16:10

@Frequentflier

Being scared of spiders does not endanger other people, or your family, so a poor analogy.
But even if it did I don’t think I could endure having one put on my face. I think I would run mad.

You don’t get to pick your phobias.

Having said that, if I had one which endangered myself and others I would seek therapy.

RedcurrantPuff · 12/03/2021 16:14

Well done him on having it.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 12/03/2021 16:21

That is really good!

LilMidge01 · 12/03/2021 16:29

@Dbwoshem

We've been and he has had it Smile I am very pleased. There was a large queue and he wouldn't let me speak to them or go in with him but I waited outside and I could see him through the window. The nurse gave him a sweet to eat whilst she did it. He was fine until he got back to the car, where he had a panic attack. He's calmed down now and is having a lie down, feeling very drained but he is glad he has had it done.
Well done the both of you Grin
fizzyp0p · 12/03/2021 17:29

Great news

murbblurb · 12/03/2021 17:31

Omg - what an update!! Well done to you both.

minchinfin · 12/03/2021 17:32

Great news! tell him we're all proud of him :)

Abraxan · 12/03/2021 17:43

Well done to your Dh for overcoming his phobia to get it done. It has probably taken a fair bit out of him hence the need for a bit of time to regroup and rest.

PollyRoulson · 12/03/2021 17:43

Yay Go Mr Dbwoshem Smile and the brilliant Dbwoshem supporting.

icdtap · 12/03/2021 17:45

Well done to him.
He's going to have to go through it again though as he'll need a second dose..... hopefully the successful experience this time will make the second one easier to deal with.

I'm waiting until I can get the Johnson and Johnson one as it's only one dose... severe needle phobic. One injection is more than enough...

MsTSwift · 12/03/2021 17:49

I can be abit silly about having blood taken. Visualisation really helped taking my mind somewhere else.

saraclara · 12/03/2021 18:07

That's amazing. I hope you're really proud of him, OP. I bet that's one of the hardest things he's ever done.

Mindymomo · 12/03/2021 18:16

Men, what would we do without them?

Glad he had it, despite his fears, give him a lolly from me.