Support thread for those of us with family abroad

[TwirpingBird]

I just read on sky news that Nicola Sturgeon has said foreign holidays will be 'unlikely' this summer. As much as this sucks for people who were living for a week in spain (arent we all!), for those of us who have parents or family who live a plane journey away, I guess this means another long while before we get to see our loved ones again.

I dont really know what I want from this thread, but I know many people on MN are coming up to a year away from their loved ones, and facing most of this year away from them, so instead of crying into another glass of prosecco, i thought i would start this thread, so we maybe dont feel so alone.

I’ll join. This is a pants club though. Missing my siblings ☹️

I haven’t seen my brother since Christmas 2019 also. He lives in Siberia. I’m hoping he might be able to visit this Christmas. I’ve no idea what the vaccine/passport situation will be for him by then though as he was originally adamant he wouldn’t have the Sputnik V vaccine when it was ‘passed’ so quickly but I think he might have to if he wants to come home. Actually, I don’t even know if he will be offered a vaccine or if he will fall into a crack as he’s not a Russian national but then he isn’t registered with a GP in the UK anymore either. Its a worry.

Brilliant thread, OP. Thank you!

All my family are in Australia. We usually go once a year, and my parents come here at least once a year too. So knowing we’ll be having at least two years without seeing them - and without seeing my kids who are under 10 but growing up so quickly - is so hard.

I’ll admit it’s the first time I’ve thought about moving back - but then DH would be in the position I’m in now, with his family here, plus we’d have to fork out the exorbitant cost of a spouse visa.

I’m booking (cancellable) flights for this Christmas. If there’s even a slim chance....

It's a rubbish club, isn't it? And it's worldwide - lots of other people in outer countries who can't get here or to family elsewhere.

Whole industries wiped out and can't see immediate family for two or three years (country, rules, finance and logistics dependent) - it's heartbreaking. It's going to be a long year. That said, I don't have any resentment for families in the UK missing each other.

Ah commiserations to all of us in this situation. We are abroad too (in Europe) and my parents and siblings are all in the UK. I had a baby just before the first lock down and all the trips booked by relatives to meet him in March had to be cancelled, however I was very fortunate that my parents could at least come out in the summer for a week. Siblings haven't met him though, he'll be 1 in a few weeks. My sister is getting married in the summer and I'm desperately hoping to be able to get over for the (v small) wedding but not looking very likely. At the moment it's technically possible but would face 2 weeks quarantine in the UK (not Hotel at least) and then 3 back here - with 4 kids including school age + work this makes it as good as impossible UK residents not allowed in at all so they can't get here either.

@SlightlySmaller

I’m checking in too. I saw my mum last summer outside for 2 days but that’s been it. I can cope most of the time - but it makes me really cross when I hear people with local family who can do doorstep visits complain. I have to stay away from threads like that on mumsnet

I feel the same. I'd give my right arm and my left leg for a doorstep visit

It really really really annoys me when people keep talking about holidays not being allowed etc. This isn't about holidays. You would not hear someone with close family abroad say this. We know.

My family all live in a different ‘country’ (it’s Covid free). My mum died unexpectedly in December - I hadn’t seen her since Christmas 2019 but she was transferred to Liverpool and I spent her last three days with her - she was in her sixties and never thought last Christmas would be the last I’d see her well.

Their country allowed me to visit on compassionate grounds and I arrived last week, but tested positive for a Covid on my day 1 entry test - how unlucky was that, I had been so very careful with masks/visors in the month before. Fortunately I have been asymptomatic.

Anyway, fortunately my dc all tested negative snd if we all test negative this weekend we will be allowed out. I’m so excited to see my family again after mums death but Covid has ruined it a bit for me - this isolation period (which was always required) has been very stressful. I haven’t seen my dad at all yet......

Anyway, I’m very lucky to be here and seeing my family again, although sad about the circumstances. Lots of love to everybody else missing their families.

It's too sad if I let myself think about it for too long :-(

And God, poor families, including spouses and parents who still can't even visit care homes in this country. But that's another issue and I won't derail!

I hope you all get to see you families this year.

I live in Spain, my parents are in the UK, and I last saw them at Christmas 2019. I'm now 5 months pregnant, so no prospect of travelling for a long while, even if I'm allowed. They're mid-70s so I don't really want them travelling either, although they are both vaccinated. My grandma is in and out of hospital and I've come to realise I may never see her again. Maybe I'll get home for Christmas this year, but who knows... Everything is pretty shit at the moment. 😔

@Mumtofourandnomore so sorry

Oh no @LaMadrilena. Hope you can get home this year. Good luck with the rest of you pregnancy.

Hey! What a lovely if sad thread. DD and i have been apart from DH for 3 months. Stranded by border closures.

I'm due baby 2 in May and so hoping we are reunited before then.

Ah a safe place amongst the SHUT IT ALL DOWN TRAVEL IS SO SELFISH MN massive

My family are all in Australia. I last saw them January 13 2020. Thank goodness we visited for that Christmas, but it’s horrible to the ink it’ll be 2yrs+ between visits. My daughter was 11 months the last time they saw her. My sister is having a baby in June - my first niece. Doubt I’ll be able to visit anytime soon. My dad is 81. Will I see him again? I don’t know.

We’ve booked flights for Christmas but it feels really unlikely that we’ll be able to go (can’t quarantine for 2 weeks as I have to work and my eldest only has 3 weeks off school). One of my best friends died just before Christmas and I couldn’t get back there for the funeral and to grieve, which was just beyond heartbreaking.

If I think about it too much I feel a bit light headed and sick, so I try not to.

Also can’t stand the utter arseholes who preach on about how holidays and travel are a luxury we should all apparently do without. Bonus marks for some climate change sanctimony on top of it (“the planet needs a rest”). Naturally all these people usually have their family neatly lined up down the road. Fuck them.

Oh I said March 2019 I meant 2020. Whenever the pandemic hit they got turned around.

Losing it

I think I’ve buried it and feel a bit numb

Oh god. Some sad situations here, but I guess we all are trying to keep our chins up.

One of you mentioned about thinking of moving home (sorry, my app doesnt make looking back easy). I have thought of this too but then I I would be forcing my DH to miss his family as they live here in the UK. Also, my country just doesn't have the same opportunities as here. My DDs will face a harder life. Not sure it's a realistic possibility. Anyone else tempted?

For those of you who have lost loved ones, it's all of our worst nightmare. I feel for you all.

Hello!
I was actually thinking of starting this thread today.
My parents are a 12 hr flight away and the island has been covid free since last year May.
They have,since,had very strict rules in place such as negative PCR test before boarding flight and mandatory 14 day hotel quarantine. People can only leave the hotel quarantine after the 14 days if they test negative twice. The quarantine costs anything between £1200-£3000 depending on the hotels. The cherry on the cake is due to the Kent variant now the UK is completely banned despite all those stringent measures.
I have got major hurdles to cross before I can see my family and with schools reopening, working in H&S is not bloody easy.

waves at everyone

Thank you for this thread.

I hate the 'you just want the non essential shops to be open' posts. Because it reminds you of how far off normal travel is - clearly, that is bottom of the pile of MN lists.

It's going to be a tough year. I hope some of us have joy and get to meet up and hug family.

@MarshaBradyo

I think I’ve buried it and feel a bit numb

I told DH this evening I feel the same, like sometimes I feel I have given up all hope. He says it's probably the best way to be. How depressing. Yet I still look at the news hoping for some glimmer of a possibility.

@PicsInRed

I'm checking in! 🙋‍♀️ All my adult family are abroad and I'm actually physically ill with the homesickness.

I hope NZ will let vaccinated people in to visit (not repatriation) soon, once the NZ vulnerable have been vaccinated. Us living abroad are hurting so, so badly.

Commiserations. New Zealand and Mauritius have had very similar stringent rules. It's heartbreaking. 2 years in March I haven't seen my parents and siblings.

Yep we’re in the US. All our family in the Uk.

@MarshaBradyo

I think I’ve buried it and feel a bit numb

I can totally relate to this... Have a good cry with DH every now and then. He says things will get better but I've been hearing this since March last year so...

@ReggaetonLente

Hey! What a lovely if sad thread. DD and i have been apart from DH for 3 months. Stranded by border closures.

I'm due baby 2 in May and so hoping we are reunited before then.

I really hope you and your DD are reunited with your DH soon! Before baby 2 arrives.

It's been a year here. Only recently I'm feeling properly down. My dad isn't too well and they've both had the vaccine but I won't for a while so if they can't fly (when the vaccinated are allowed) and I can't get a vaccine soon, what then?