I'm sick of running the 24hr "Corona Cafe" !

[Pebbles574]

DH and two young adult DSs at home and I am just TOTALLY fed up with all the food shopping (online), delivery & putting away, stocking, checking and constantly restocking the fridge, freezer and larder and the ENDLESS meals, snacks, cups of tea and coffee etc etc.

We take it in turns to cook dinner, but the mental load is still mine ("what shall I cook"/ "I don't know what to make"/ "how do a defrost XYZ" etc).

Also, I have a food intolerance which means that I can't eat a lot of ready meal type food (including soups and pasta sauces) so I tend to make stuff from scratch for me. But I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES THIS!
So for example today I made a huge batch of bacon, tomato and lentil soup which I thought would see me well into next week for lunches.
I said there was a small bowl each for lunch today, but to leave the rest to cool.
Then I came downstairs to find them all having massive bowls and seconds, emptying the pan and finishing off the loaf of bread which only just arrived this morning!

And it’s a constant round of nagging to get people to load and empty the dishwasher, and anything that needs handwashing just gets left on the side.

I really am totally fed up!

Anyone else want to rant too?

GO ON STRIKE!

There's a brilliant thread by another woman who did this and it worked, she just stopped cooking.

They are rude and inconsiderate and you are babying them and being a martyr. How dare they eat all the soup that you made.

Hand the online shop over to them and leave them to it.

That sounds infuriating 😑😑

Have you tried something like Hello Fresh or Gousto? At least then it takes away the meal planning/large shop element? They have all the ingredients in one bag and a recipe card so no relying on you - it’s still all from scratch.

Yup! All this "swinging by the shop" and "just popping out" really annoys me too - the whole point of the food delivery is to avoid all those unnecessary trips!

I could have written this, as I also have a food intolerance and am sick to good damn fucking death of the DC and DH descending on the newly stocked cupboards like locusts, stripping them bare within days and devouring things that are earmarked for meals! Not to mention contaminating things so I can't eat them- whisking a slice of bread around in a pan of soup is a prime example! I have a three week rotating menu and it's not bloody hard for DH to select the easy days (making pizza with pre prepared bases, spaghetti bolognese, fish and chips etc) and take the load off my shoulders, but it's like I've asked him to fix a nuclear weapon- the amount of aghast bewilderment!!

Gaaaaaahhhhh!!!!! And one of my teens is not well, so I get text messages constantly asking for drinks and food. SPECIFIC food, like I'm a waitress and they're ordering from the lunch menu etc. It drives me mad

We have an agreement, I do all the shopping ( no home delivery) and dh plans and cooks most of the meals. I might do a couple of meals a week. The worst part of it all is trying to find something every day that everyone likes ( 3 fussy teens ). friday evening is a huge relief as it's take away night.

Buy yourself a travel fridge, put somewhere out of sight, order a shop just for you (6am delivery if needed) and let them all fend for themselves.

I hear you OP. My rant is that mine rarely offer to cook either. DH can't, just sits there waiting to be fed like a Buddha, DD's do the occasional meal, but maybe once a week. They offered to get a takeaway today, I was really looking forward to it, but they left ordering too late, and then were surprised there were no slots. I honestly cried......

Mostly I am disappointed in returned DD1, who was living an independent life, but now she is home, pretty much does nothing. It's my fault, I don't rant enough, but I also feel sorry for her loss of independence, and therefore don't want to make it worse for her than it already is.

I also do all the washing and ironing, the washing up, unloading and re-loading the dishwasher. If someone does do a bit of washing up, they just do their own, rather than everything on the side .

To be fair, younger teen does most, and always asks if she can help, bless her. But she is ALevel year, and has her own stresses too.

The whole thing sucks frankly.

It astonishes me how much women let their husbands and adult children walk all over them to be honest.

I am in the same situation, DH and 2 adult DSs. We have a weekly delivery, but even they are fed up with my cooking, they now suggest a takeaway that DS1 will pay for. I get wound up by online shopping. I just quote my old Mum who said if we haven’t got it, we will have to go without. I’d like some nice food, that’s cooked and served to me.

Don’t get me started on washing up and cleaning.

Never happened in my household before they left home because they knew they would end up dead.

Please stop raising your adult sons to be like this! They’ll end up being some poor woman’s lazy partner who just sees her as a cook and a cleaner. Break. The. Cycle.

Haha I have this problem. I have fully gone on holiday mode the last day and have just realised we actually have no food for this evening. Oops

Or, like last week, the world's smallest cauliflower. Not much bigger than a tennis ball

I've cracked this one. I've started putting notes on my orders against things like this "If small, please can I have two - Needs to feed four".
"If you don't have brown bread, white is fine, in fact ANY bread will do". They actually did bring two the other day with a pointed cabbage.

Can you put some boundaries in place? No ‘claiming’ any food unless they have specifically requested it and reimbursed you for it, or better yet, ordered it themselves on their own online order! (I’m assuming the food they are claiming are more treat type foods, not the salmon etc!)

Online Grocery shop to be done by everyone, you put in food you are cooking and household items etc, then hand over to DH and each DS to add theirs, and the last one orders it. Telling them the total cannot be higher than XX.

With two adult DS’s, I don’t know if you are subsidising them, or if they are paying board etc, but perhaps the cost if the grocery shop could be paid for on a rotating basis - you, DH, DS1 and DS2, which would certainly make them see the cost of food!

Wow an awful lot of you have incredibly low standards. Why do you put up with being treated like this? Imagine accepting such a basic lack of respect from people you live with and just putting up with it by virtue of your sex. Madness.

God, yes. Literally being the one who has to be responsible for thinking what we are all going to eat is driving me mad. Adding in allergies and picky bloody eaters makes the whole thing worse.

Jesus H! A solidarity fistbump from me, OP.
I learned early on in our marriage that DH's 'help' with cooking results in the loss of an entire kitchen due to arson with an added cheery, "Nice coal porridge, innit luv? I put a bit of curry powder in," as we sit in our Farrow & Ball 'Scorched Earth' kitchen.

It's just a rotating mess, between DH and the kids...the crumbs, the incessant crumbs, and blobs of butter and mayo. DH is gross. I hadn't realised how gross he is. I seriously have wondered, do I really want to retire with this guy? Forget the kids. They're fine. DH is the one who needs boot camp. I just look at him and wonder, who skipped out on teaching you the basics of everyday living? Even our 18 year old is like, "Maybe we should put smiley face ping pong ball in the toilet for dad."

It astonishes me how much women let their husbands and adult children walk all over them to be honest

This. How did it get to this point? It doesn't happen overnight. Have the DC been taught to shop, budget, cook etc? If so, have a rotating shift/schedule? Also it's no surprise they eat a lot, that's normal.

Assist them in making a packed lunch box each. That's all snacks and meals during the day, you don't get involved beyond the assistance.

Wow an awful lot of you have incredibly low standards. Why do you put up with being treated like this? Imagine accepting such a basic lack of respect from people you live with and just putting up with it by virtue of your sex. Madness.

It's got nothing to do with our sex or low standards. It has everything to do with the fact that somewhere along the line, my DH learned that in order to make a meal, you have to destroy everything within your line of vision in order to make a shit bacon butty. I blame the PILs and boarding school.

No teenagers here but a 4 year old DD who claims to dislike most meals. So we can either eat a very narrow diet (no thanks, especially as we have a toddler we want to eat well) or serve her food she rejects then moans she’s hungry. And in between constantly asks for snacks and drinks of milk. Can’t bear it.

For the avoidance of doubt, my husband and teenage sons are not useless lumps who don't help. They would find it hilarious if I said I was downtrodden and serving their every need.

They all cook, tidy and help around the house. But when the kids have online schooling and my husband is working, naturally it's only fair that I do those jobs. At the weekend, he'll cook, tidy or do chores.

It's not the division of labour per se, it's just the lack of thought about trying to make the weekly mountain of food last us without needing to keep popping out to top it up.

Tell me about it. Got two adult dc who've been back for lockdown (one since March!) and I feel like food and shopping is all I think about. They can and will cook but both work long hours from home so we'd be eating at 8pm if I waited for them to cook dinner. There's also constant gazing into the fridge with "what can I have for lunch?"

How are these young adults getting to the stage where they know so little?

The soup thing really enraged me as it was downright greedy & inconsiderate.
I've taken to hiding a couple of treats --in my teabag box because if you dare to save anything for later it will probably be gone! I know everyone is stuck at home & bored but the cooking etc is relentless.